Eat, Prey, Love

“How is this possible? I”ve known you for…” Lexi glanced down to check her phone and look at the time before speaking again, “Five hours?”

“Really, that”s it, five hours? I feel like we”ve been through a war together.”

“Tell me about it.” Lexi stood and reached out her hand to me. Accepting her offer, she pulled me off the floor with an unexpected amount of strength. I thanked her while trying to hide my face so she wouldn’t see my cheeks, tinged with pink. A low grumble was heard as Lexi looked down at her stomach and said, “Want food?”

“God yes,” I said, my mouth watering at the thought of eating for the first time in what felt like days.

“Hey, Lilly!” Lexi called with her hands cupped around her mouth. “Can you bring two menus with some dinner options?”

“You got it, Lexi!”

Lexi turned off the television and pressed a button on a separate remote, which brightened the dark room. We both walked over to the dining table and sat across from each other. As we sat in silence and waited for the menus, I could feel the awkwardness consume us.

“So…have you kissed any other girls on a private jet recently?”

That was all Lexi needed to come back to life as she threw her napkin at me. “Don”t be stupid,” she cackled while rolling her eyes.

Stifling laughter, I grabbed the napkin and stuck my tongue out at her. A few seconds later, Lilly walked out with two menus. I shifted my attention to Lilly, who was now standing with her arm outstretched and prompting me to take a menu.

“Thank you.”

She nodded before turning to Lexi and examining the empty plate that sat in front of her. With a look of confusion, Lilly then asked, “Oh, sorry Lexi, do you need a napkin?”

Then the worst idea popped into my head as I answered Lilly’s question. “No, Lexi actually gave me her napkin because she said she’d prefer to have a damp cloth heated at exactly 78 degrees Fahrenheit to avoid smudging her makeup.”

“Oh,” Lilly stuttered while failing to grasp the joke. “Uhhh…of course.”

Lexi opened her mouth to deny the accusations, but before she could, I interjected, “And from now on, she would prefer it if you didn’t address her directly but instead only speak to me.”

“Umm…okay,” Lilly squinted while looking at me quizzically, still failing to understand my humor.

In the distance, a heavy laugh could be heard. We all turned our heads to the front of the plane, and a voice that was unmistakably Ashley’s began to shout. “She’s messing with you, you idiot! She got you good!”

Lilly whipped her head back around to look at me and Lexi as she tried to examine our facial expressions. I stayed serious for as long as I could without cracking a smile, but after six seconds, I broke out into laughter. Lexi glared at me, but the small smile on her lips was evident. In no time at all, she too was laughing hysterically alongside me. Lilly blushed and politely took our orders before heading away to prepare our food.

“You”re a dick, you know that?”

“I thought she would catch on to the joke!” I exclaimed defensively.

***

Twenty minutes later, it was Ashley, this time, who returned to bring us our food. I had ordered pasta with zucchini fritters, and Lexi opted for a steak, medium rare, with a side of asparagus. Both of us sat in silence as we devoured our food without even a single crumb left to spare.

“Everything to your liking, Ms. Blake?”

“I didn”t even know I was that hungry until you mentioned food,” I grumbled while leaning back in my chair.

“Honestly, me either,” she disclosed. “I was focusing on other things.” Lexi looked at me while fidgeting with her fingers. Before I could ask what she was referring to, she continued, “So, how long of a drive do you think you’ll have from LAX?”

I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out what exactly would happen when we landed. Whenever I was with Lexi, I always somehow seemed to forget about everything else. Pondering her words, I tried to come up with a plan for when we arrived in LA. I didn”t have a car or my suitcase, for that matter. I guess I could call a taxi, but how far was the drive?

“That”s a good question,” I said while opening up my phone. Pulling up the GPS, I checked the distance from the airport to the church. “It”ll take an hour and ten minutes to get there,” I revealed to her.

“Well, as of right now, we should land at around 2:15 p.m. California time,” Lexi stated while checking her phone for the time. “It’s 12:34 p.m. on the West Coast right now. What time is the funeral at?”

“3:00 p.m.,” I said flatly.

“Well, you might be a little late, but you”ll still make it,” she prompted, trying to cheer me up.

“Yeah, I guess you”re right,” I agreed, refusing to let negativity take hold.

We sat at the table for a while longer, debating whether we should get dessert. It wasn’t until I pushed away my plate and looked down at my lap that I realized I had spilled pasta sauce on the shirt Lexi had loaned me.

“I feel so gross right now,” I cringed while examining my stained top.

“Do you want to take a shower before we land? I can lend you one of my black dresses to wear,” Lexi offered.

My face lit up at the thought of taking a refreshing shower after being trapped in an airport and then flying on a plane for most of the day.

“Yes, please!” I sighed with relief.

“Here, follow me.” Lexi stood while walking past the table and toward the door that led to her bedroom.

Following her instructions, I bolted up from the chair, accidentally hitting my knee on the table in the process. Refusing to let her know this, I stifled a yell as I bit my lip to keep from blurting out words of profanity. Slightly limping behind her, I walked through the door as we made our way into her room. Lexi headed over to her dresser as she dug through the drawers and pulled out a plain, mid-length black dress.

“Wow, that”s perfect.”

“I bet it will look amazing on you,” she smiled, walking toward me and reaching to give my hand a squeeze. After pulling away, she placed the dress neatly on her bed.

“Not too amazing, though, right? I mean, it is a funeral.”

“No, it”ll be perfect. Sexy but not slutty,” she winked at me. “You’ll look beautiful.”

So often, the words that came out of her mouth left me speechless.

How do I reply to a compliment like that?

“Uhh…I—”

Lexi opened a door adjacent to her room, on the right side, that I had failed to notice even existed until this very moment.

“Here”s the bathroom, and there are some clean towels hanging on the rack. I”ll be out in the lounge if you need me,” she explained, turning to exit the room.

Before she got two steps in, I grabbed her arm. “Wait!” She turned her head to look at me. “Uhh, can you stay in here, maybe? Until I’m finished.”

“Sure. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Everything’s good.”

There was no real reason why, but I just wanted her to stay.

Lexi laid down on the bed, favoring her right side as I walked toward her to pick up the dress she had laid out. I glanced up at her, then paused almost as if I had been put in a trance. She looked so much more relaxed and vulnerable than she did in all of the pictures of her that were in the media. There was no editing, no makeup, no extravagant outfit…it was just her, and that was enough. She looked so beautiful.

I think she sensed I was staring at her because she glanced up to find I had not left the room.

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yeah. I just think my shower’s gonna have to be a cold one, now.”

The butterflies grew in my lower abdomen as I walked toward the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I hadn”t had this feeling since high school. I forgot how thrilling and amazing it was. My heart was racing, but my hands were steady. It’s like I was scared, but in a good way. It reminded me of something I read in this article a while ago on why people like true crime documentaries and horror stories. Apparently, it was all about the safe simulation of fear—something that managed to excite and scare you but not so much that you feared for your life.

Maybe that’s what love is.

Not to say that I was in love…but deeply “in like.”

I hung the dress on the back of the door and stood in front of the mirror as I took off each piece of clothing I had on. Analyzing my appearance, I let my eyes roam over my body. I did not have a flat stomach. My stretch marks were visible. I had acne scars on my face. My teeth were not pearly white. I had small boobs. My thighs were too big. Yet, for some reason, when I looked at the person staring back at me—for the first time in a long time—I thought she was beautiful. She was worthy. She was strong. She was flawed. But she was also perfect in her own way. For as long as I could remember, my identity had always been defined by other people…by my father”s absence.

But I was so much more than that.

That didn”t change the fact that I had emotional scars that I would never be able to fully heal from, but scars could be beautiful too. Besides, having a perfect anything would be way too boring.

I stepped into the large walk-in shower and slid the glass door closed behind me.

***

I grabbed the towel on the rack next to the shower and used it to pat myself dry before throwing it into the dirty bin under the sink. As I bent down to pick up my bra up, I stopped mid-way, frozen in horror.

I fucked up.

I didn’t have an extra pair of underwear. I pursed my lips and sighed deeply while looking around to make sure there wasn’t some kind of hidden camera recording me. That’s when I realized I had probably been watching The Office a little too much. I tried to ignore the feeling of shame that engulfed my body as I swallowed my pride and knelt down to pick up my underwear, bringing them to my nose. They smelled clean. Squinting my eyes, I stared at the crotch. They looked clean.

Man, I could really use my suitcase right about now.

With no other option, I slid the old underwear up my legs. I quickened my pace as I put on my bra and shimmied into the dress. I know a lot of people put dresses on by pulling them over their heads, but my hair was too wet to even try and do it that way. My damp curls fell loosely on my shoulders, causing the dress to become slightly wet. I looked down at myself and began to smooth out the creases in the fabric. The dress actually fit pretty well. It had a square neckline with a small slit on up the thigh. The fabric clung to my curves it was so form fitting, almost too much. I could practically see what I had eaten for lunch. I contorted my arm behind me, attempting to zip up the dress before realizing it wasn’t possible. I opened the door that led to the bedroom and peeked my head out.

“Yes?” Lexi asked with her attention still directed down at her phone.

“Can you zip this up for me?” I asked while still reaching my arms behind me to grasp the zipper. I struggled for a while longer, before realizing Lexi hadn”t moved. “Lexi?”

“Sorry, it”s just…you look…. just wow. I was right when I said you would look amazing, and I just failed to realize how amazing.”

And then the craziest thing happened.

I believed her. I did look amazing and it”s so rare that I ever felt that way about myself. Lexi smiled at me while hopping onto her feet.

I pushed my hair out of the way as she sauntered behind me and pulled my zipper up. “Thank you.”

I felt her lower her lips next to my ear, her breath hitting my skin. “How are you so attractive, Autumn Blake?”

Then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. I stood paralyzed, too stunned to move. While still trying to recover from what just happened, I felt a piece of clothing strike me on the shoulder, causing me to turn around. I saw a glimpse of Lexi’s blurry figure rush inside the bathroom and close the door. What the hell did she throw at me? I grabbed the fabric from my shoulder, and almost fainted when I realized what it was.

It was her fucking bra and her shirt.

This girl would be the death of me. What a way to go, though.

“You can go back to the lounge. I’m going to take a shower. Don’t worry, it’ll be quick,” Lexi yelled from inside the bathroom with the water running.

I tried my best not to picture her undressing and getting into the shower as the droplets of water ran down her back. I failed miserably. How could she have this much of an effect on me?

Fuck.

I let out a low, guttural moan as I exhaled and made my way back toward the lounge. Stopping at the door, I took a deep breath and exhaled once more. I started to leave the bedroom when a drop of water fell on my hand. I furrowed my brow, inspecting the ceiling.

Where the hell did that come from?

Seconds later, another drop fell to my feet. In my peripheral vision, I noticed the hair lying on my shoulders was still dripping. I almost slipped as I tried to walk back over to the bed. Looking around for a towel, I searched the whole room but couldn”t find any.

All of them must be in the bathroom.

“Great,” I mumbled.

With no other choice, I knocked on the bathroom door.

“Yes?”

“I need a towel.”

“No, you just want to see me naked!”

I laughed quietly before responding, “Well, yeah, that would be nice, but unfortunately, I really do need a towel.”

From the other side of the door, I heard shuffling, then a thud.

“Ow,” her muffled voice groaned.

“Lexi?”

The door swung open slightly as Lexi peaked her head out. Her soaking wet hair was trickling onto the floor, much like my own. She poked her arm through and handed me a towel.

“Next time, come up with a better excuse if you want to see me naked.”

I took the towel while smirking as she slammed the door in my face.

Come up with excuses to see her naked? Guess I had some homework to do.