Hope

“You’re back,” Lexi beamed, now curled up on the couch under a blanket while holding a bowl of popcorn.

“You miss me?”

Ignoring my question, she complimented, “You look cute.”

“Well, you always look cute.”

“Wow, look who”s getting more confident in their flirting skills,” Lexi gathered.

Was I that obvious? Maybe I should be more subtle. Man, I’m out of practice.

I’d never actually hit on a girl before. Sure, I always knew from a young age that I was attracted to both men and women, but I didn”t put much thought into it at the time. I never exactly pictured myself with a female, but I also never really pictured myself with anyone in general. Lexi was everything I wanted in a partner, but I never thought I would actually meet her, let alone that we would ever date. I wasn’t saying that we could date now, but the thought didn”t seem so far away anymore. I just wondered if all this time she had been flirting with me, too.

“You”re one to talk.”

“I’m always confident when I flirt,” Lexi winked.

She winked.

Did that mean she was flirting with me? Or was she just being nice? I was usually great at reading people, but right now, it seemed like my brain had turned to mush.

“Here.” I chucked a shirt at her.

“What”s this?”

“Your favorite shirt,” I responded. “The one with the skull.”

Lexi held up the shirt as she looked at it skeptically. “Why?”

“I didn’t put a bomb in it if that’s what you”re worried about,” I chuckled as she examined the shirt. “I just thought you might want to change your top, considering you”re still wearing a shirt with chains along the sleeves, which I imagine isn’t very comfortable.”

“Oh,” Lexi said, seeming slightly surprised. “Thanks. That’s nice of you.”

I laughed at her polite confusion. “You don”t have to wear it; I just thought you might want to.”

I moved closer and reached to take the shirt back when Lexi pulled her arm away, refusing to hand it over.

“No, I’ll wear it.”

All of a sudden, the shirt she was wearing was ripped off her body as she threw it to the side. My eyes widened at the sight. Lexi Harlow sat in front of me wearing a purple bra, completely naked from the waist up. The blanket was covering her stomach slightly, but it was still low enough that it left her chest in full view. She then straightened her posture as she wiggled one arm through the new shirt, followed by the other, before pushing her head through the top.

Blushing hysterically, I glanced away.

“Come on, sit down.” Lexi patted the cushion next to her. “Are we watching this movie or what?”

“Yeah, wouldn”t want the popcorn to get cold,” I joked awkwardly while sitting about a foot away from her.

“You”re going to have to move closer if you want to share the blanket.”

“Well, only if I have to,” I jabbed as I inched toward her.

“Ha-ha,” she mocked while giving me a dirty look.

She pressed play as we watched the screen come to life on the TV. 2012 was one of my favorite movies, yet I couldn”t seem to concentrate. All I could think about was the fact that this was simultaneously the best and worst day of my life.

Why was it the worst? I missed my flight. I was trapped in a bathroom after an earthquake. I got into an argument with my mom and blew the situation out of proportion. I had to see my sister for the first time in years. I had to deal with the repressed feelings about the relationship I had with my father. I had to go to a funeral.

Why was it the best? I missed my flight, which started the domino effect of events that led me to where I currently was. I was trapped in an airport during an earthquake with my favorite singer. I realized that my mom needed me just as much as I needed her. I found someone I now considered a good friend, or maybe even more. I opened up about the repressed feelings I had toward my father. I had to go to a funeral so that I could finally learn how to move on.

I didn’t believe in destiny, but maybe this was where I was meant to be. Maybe all of this happened for a reason. Or, who knows, maybe this wasn”t where I was meant to be. But who cared? It didn’t have to be written in the stars for me to know that I was exactly where I wanted to be.

I think I made it about forty-five minutes into the movie before I started to feel my eyelids get heavy. I tried so hard to stay awake, but after nodding off several times, sleep finally took hold.

***

What felt like days later, my eyes fluttered open as I looked around and took in my surroundings. The lights were dim, and the sound of voices could be heard in the distance. As I began to focus, I made out squiggly figures on a screen in front of me. I started to remember where I was. I then looked down and noticed Lexi’s head resting on my lap with her eyes closed. Her chest was moving up and down rhythmically. I let a small smile graze my lips as I became aware of the fact that my hand was lying gently on her neck. Her legs were curled up in front of her as she lay on her side with her body sprawled out on the couch. Without meaning to, I began to caress her face, causing her to stir slightly. Out of nowhere, a loud booming came from the speakers as the dramatic music in the movie intensified. Lexi jerked violently and propelled herself up into a sitting position. I yanked my hand away in response as she abruptly shot up.

“What the fuck?”

“It’s just the movie. Everything”s fine,” I explained, trying to ease her worry.

Lexi sighed in relief before looking down and realizing that her sudden movement had caused the popcorn bowl that was sitting next to her to fall over and spill on the floor.

“Crap,” she frowned.

“I got it.”

“No, it’s fine. I can get it,” she waved, brushing off my help.

We both kneeled down in front of the couch to pick up the bits of popcorn and began placing them back into the bowl, one by one. Our attention was torn from the mess on the floor when we heard a ding and saw the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign light up. The plane started to shake violently as I grabbed hold of the couch to stabilize myself.

Air earthquake?

That is when I realized the one earthquake I had experienced was clouding my worldview. It was just fucking turbulence.

Lexi instinctively reached out and clutched the first thing she could reach, which just so happened to be my boob. Without the chance to fully secure my footing, seeing as how I was crouched down, we both toppled over, and she fell, landing on her back, pulling me down with her. I fell roughly on top of her, causing the air in my lungs to be forced out. She was still holding my boob when the shaking stopped. And just like that, the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign turned off. Lexi’s dark hair was haphazardly laying across her face as I moved my hands to brush aside the uncooperative strands. Looking down at my chest, she yanked her hand off of me as if she had been burned. Her eyes met mine. In a split second, she was snapped out of the trance she was just in.

“Ya know, if you wanted to cop a feel, you could’ve just asked,” I smirked. “I would’ve said yes.”

“Oh my god, I”m so sorry,” she said with a horrified look on her face.

“Lexi,” I laughed, “It’s fine. I know it wasn’t on purpose.”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

Seeing the dazed look she still possessed, I asked, “Are you okay?”

Taking in air, Lexi replied, “You know what? As long as you”re here, I’m okay.”

“I don”t think me or my boob can protect you from plane turbulence.”

Lexi smiled while shaking her head slightly. “But you can protect me from myself,” she admitted.

Without warning, she raised her hand to my face and brushed my cheek before settling on the back of my neck. Somehow, she wasn’t staring at me anymore, but instead, staring right into me.

“Lexi…” I cautioned as I noticed her face approaching mine.

“Autumn…” she trailed off.

Without warning, she pulled at my neck, bringing me toward her as our lips inched closer together. With one final tug, our lips crashed into each other. It wasn”t a frantic kiss of sexual tension. It was a slow kiss filled with passion. Our lips moved together rhythmically, and my hand found its way to her waist. I could taste the vanilla Chapstick on her lips as our tongues collided in a heated motion. Out of all the kisses I’d ever had, this one broke the scale. It felt like I was experiencing my first kiss for the first time all over again, but now it was like I could actually feel it. The world around me seemed to fade away, and all I could focus on were the two of us. Lexi moved her hand from my neck to my hair and tugged gently. I bit her bottom lip, eliciting a guttural moan to escape from her mouth. I clenched my thighs together as the heat began to build between my legs. I didn”t know how long we kissed each other, but to me, it wasn”t long enough. Pulling apart, I opened my eyes slowly and saw the look on Lexi’s face. She was smiling, but at the same time, she was crying.

Pushing myself up and away from her, I asked, “What”s wrong? I’m so sorry, did you not want…?”

Lexi laughed as she sat up too. She moved closer to me, our shoulders touching, causing a shiver to run through my body.

“Autumn, I promise you, for once in my life, I’m actually okay. More than okay, really,” she admitted, wiping her tears away and staring down at her lap. “I just…I haven”t felt as seen as I do when I’m with you. You listen to me. You make me laugh. You make me feel beautiful. You make me feel safe.”

I gently lifted her head so that our eyes met again. “You make me feel heard. You make me feel like my pain is justified. You make me feel like healing is possible. You make me happy.”

Lexi smiled, refusing to look away, her eyes glistening. “Did we switch personalities there for a second there? You gained my confidence at flirting, and I gained your cute but cringy shyness?”

I shook my head and tried to hide the growing grin on my face. I pushed my hair to the side with my middle finger, flicking her off as I laughed. “Fuck you.”

“Anytime, Autumn. Any fucking time.”

When my parents” relationship went south, I gave up on the idea of being happy. I gave up on the idea of feeling secure. I gave up hope. Lexi made me question all of my beliefs in the best way possible. I had always been a pessimist, but now I wasn’t so sure. To say I was an optimist would be a bit of a stretch, but one thing was for certain—Lexi gave me hope.