28. Juliet

My eyes slipopen slowly as thunder growls overhead. A blast of wind peppers hail against the window pane, and rain continues to fall heavily, drumming on the roof. It's dark, the storm swallowing up the dawn.

And Silas's head is buried between my thighs. His hands hold me to him firmly, his tongue moving in lazily in long, soft strokes. I shift a little and moan, my whole body enveloped in a lovely sort of warmth, like I'm still half-dreaming.

My fingers rake through his hair, and he half-growls, half-purrs.

"Good morning," I murmur.

"Morning." The word is a hot breath against my skin, and then he goes back to licking my clit. Good fucking morning indeed.

My whole body aches, and there's a dull throb inside me. But it's so goddamn satisfying.

Silas took me back to bed after he cleaned me up, and I thought we'd stop and go to sleep.

I was wrong.

He praised me, telling me how well I did as I took him, as I came for him again and again. He told me how beautiful I was as he fucked me from behind. Then he called me a dirty whore while he fucked my mouth, hands in my hair and shoving me down onto him until I choked.

I loved every minute of it. I loved everything he did to me. I loved hearing the sounds he made because of what I was doing to him.

I love…

I shudder, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes as my orgasm rises.

It bursts through me in a rush of heat and a clenching of my weary stomach muscles. "Oh fuck," I murmur, my whole body trembling. I groan as Silas keeps licking. "You're going to kill me if you keep making me come."

He sits up on his knees, grinning down on me, and I puff out a breath of relief.

"You looked so pretty sleeping, I couldn't resist."

I roll my eyes and laugh. "You're meant to wake me first, creep."

He cocks an eyebrow. "What happened to, I'd let you do anything you wanted to me?" He crawls over me, etching a trail of kisses from my navel, up my sternum.

My cheeks flush, because I love him using me any way he wants. It was so indescribably hot and wrong to beg him to stop, and feel him get harder. Fighting him, knowing there was no point - I shouldn't love that, should I? It's wrong.

But his lips find mine, kissing me sweetly, tenderly, and I know he cares. If I'd used my safe word, he'd have stopped. He's unlike anybody else I've ever been with. I trust him with my body and my pleasure in a way I never thought I would trust anyone, ever.

He props himself up on an elbow and gazes down at me, stroking a strand of hair out of my face. I must look a mess, all tousled and probably covered in love bites and maybe still some blood? But he's looking at me like I'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

I don't know what to do with this feeling thumping in my chest. It's wild and dangerous, comforting and secure, all at the same time. I've never felt it before. And the way Silas is looking at me now, it's like he feels it too and I don't know what that's going to mean for either of us. I want to stay here with him, but every second that ticks past, I know the bubble of our stormbound night is closer to bursting.

We can't be together. Not really.

"I need to get back to the dorm," I murmur. "You'll get in trouble."

Silas's face drops, and he sighs, brushing his fingers along my collarbone. "I know."

He doesn't move though. He just pulls me into his arms, holding me against his broad chest.

"Juliet." He clears his throat. "I want to tell you someth-"

A sharp rap on the door has me slamming a hand over my mouth to suppress a shriek of terror. Silas curses under his breath, and pulls me hastily from the bed, pointing to the bathroom. I scurry in, terrified. Oh fuck. They know. Someone knows. They'll smell me on him. They're going to hurt him. God what are they going to do with him?

I don't cower, I just stand frozen in the middle of the bathroom, listening, waiting for that handle to turn and a bunch of feeders to haul me out of here.

"Silas, we need you in the obs tower, right now." A woman's voice, sharp and commanding. It sounds like the redhead who's in charge or seems to be. Murderous bitch.

"Yeah, no worries, just let me get dressed."

A lecherous little giggle makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "I mean, I prefer you like this, but yeah, probably give the others a bit of a start."

"Yeah. I'll be right along." Silas's response is tight.

"Hope you weren't too lonely in here last night. It was such a crazy storm." What the fuck is this bitch's deal? I'm so consumed by jealousy over her talking to Silas - to my vamp - like this, that I have to stop myself storming out there.

I feel a rush of satisfaction as Silas sighs loudly.

"I'll be right along, if you let me get dressed."

"I can watch." Bitch you better move on right now. She laughs again, that fucking flirty laugh women do when they're not getting the reaction they want. "I mean, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Sam." Silas's voice is a deep rumble through the door. "Get lost. Now. I mean it. I'll be right along, if you just fucking let me close this door and let me get dressed."

"What's got you all wor-"

"Fuck. Off." There's a startled yelp and the door slams. An indignant huff comes from the porch before thumping footsteps head down the steps and get lost in the rain.

After a few very tense heartbeats, the door opens, and Silas leans against the frame. He's in a pair of grey sweatpants, and his hair is a little mussed up. He gives me a smile, and all my anger dissolves instantly. He tucks his hands into his pockets and raises his eyebrows.

"You OK, angel?"

I nod, licking my lips because suddenly I feel completely dried out and also tired, maybe a little hungry?

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I need to get up to the obs tower, I'll take you back to the dorm." His eyes drop to the floor as he says it, and my stomach sinks all over again. Back to the dorm. The fucking dorm, and my twin sized bed. Away from him.

"Who was that?" I ask, watching as he retrieves my clothes from the chair behind the desk.

"That was Officer Ferris." He doesn't look at me as he says it. "The redhead, you know, she's, well, I guess she's my direct superior."

"Sam?" I step closer to him, and he still doesn't look up at me. "You called her Sam. You and her, you-"

"Not for a while." His eyes snap to meet mine. "Not for a long while. I couldn't… I couldn't bear the thought of touching anyone but you."

I feel too goddamn smug at hearing him say that, at hearing those words come from this beautiful man. This man who only wants me.

I put my arms around his neck, the blanket dropping to my feet, and he inhales sharply as I press my naked body against him. I kiss the base of his throat.

"So, I'm yours then, right?" Another kiss, and he shivers, like he's trying to hold back from throwing me down on the floor and fucking me into next week. "Like, your girlfriend?"

He chuckles, threading his fingers into my hair. "You're jealous, I like that."

"I am jealous." I palm his hard cock through his sweatpants, and his grip on my head becomes almost aggressive. "I'm jealous, because you're mine."

"Oh, is that right?" He tips my head back, his eyes blazing as he looks down at me. "Maybe you should brand me too, huh?"

I shake my head. "No need, I already have." I stroke a hand down his bicep, over one of the tattoos that makes up his sleeve. "This, right here, that's my brand on you."

He looks down at the skeleton hand holding the red rose, and when he looks back at me his expression is one of almost… shock.

"You got that for me before you even knew it." I swallow hard as unexpected emotion wells up inside me. "Because remember, you were going to draw the hand and I'd draw-"

"The rose." He finishes for me, his brows drawn down. "I remember."

I sniffle a little. "That was the last thought I had before I… Before I… In the stream. That I was sorry that I'd never get to draw with you."

Silas crushes my mouth with a kiss, wrapping me so tight in his arms that I think I'm going to melt straight into him.

I love him.

Tears spill down my cheeks. A few months ago I wanted to die. Now I want to live, but I can't, not the way I want to. I'm in love with a man I can never have, who can never have me.

"Don't cry, angel," he murmurs against my mouth as saltwater spills down between us. "It's alright. Don't cry."

But I do cry. I cry all the way back to the dorm, where he explains to the guard that I was sick and had to be isolated in case it was contagious. I cry as I leave his side, head down because I can't even kiss him goodbye, or say goodbye. I cry as I crawl into bed, pulling the blanket over my head as the others begin to stir.

Then I mercifully fall asleep, but I don't sleep peacefully. I dream of Silas slipping away from me, dragged down by grabbing, grasping hands, and voices that scream Not allowed, not allowed, over and over again.

* * *

I wakeup to a quiet dorm. Light rain still patters against the roof, but the storm has mostly blown itself out. Silas must have told them to let me sleep.

I breathe out heavily, trying to erase the weight of my nightmares still bearing down on me. When I stretch my legs, they hit something solid at the end of the bed. I start up, pulling the blanket around me protectively, and find myself looking straight into the redhead's eyes.

"Hi." She smiles brightly, crinkling her nose. "You doing OK, hon?" She's pretty, tiny and petite with full lips. I can see why Silas slept with her. But the way she's looking at me makes me feel so fucking small. She's much shorter than me, but she could still tear me to pieces, and she's letting me know just that.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Silas said you were in the infirmary, some sort of suspected infection?" Her tone sends chills down my spine. Her smile isn't reaching her eyes.

"Uh, yeah, he just wanted to make sure I didn't get anyone else sick."

She tuts and shakes her head. "That man, so caring and considerate." She leans closer to me. "And kinda hot too, right?"

Oh Jesus shitting what the fuck? I hope my face doesn't betray the panic that's sending goosebumps down my legs. My veins are filled with ice.

"Uh I mean, I guess, he's… He's a nice guy."

"Oh, you can tell me, it's just us girls." She leans back on a hand, like she's my best friend who's come over for the gossip after my night with the hot guy on campus. "I know you two have sort of become friends, everyone can see he likes you a lot."

I shake my head quickly, casting my eyes down to the bed so I don't have to look at that smile that's starting to border on maniacal. "We're friends, that's all. He's nice to me. We understand each other."

"Oh, do you?"

Goddammit, why did I say that? I fidget with my fingers, wishing she would just go away. I have to keep the panic at bay or I'm going to fuck up, I'm going to give us away.

"It's just a friendship."

"Yeah, I know." She smoothes a hand over the sheets, still smiling that creepy smile. "The boss thinks it's good because of what I did."

"Oh, OK." Unease is making my throat swell shut.

"It's not as though I like killing people," she says, her fingers still running over the sheets. "But sometimes you have to make a point. Let people know who's in charge." She lifts her eyes to mine, and they're bright red. She tilts her head, looking me up and down. "I can see why he likes you. You're so cute."

"Thanks." Is my jaw chattering? God, I hope she can't see it.

"You smell good, too." She leans closer, and inhales. "Mmm. Almost like something I smelled in his cabin this morning. But that can't be, right?"

Oh fuuuuuuck. I swallow hard, opening my mouth to speak, but Sam laughs, tossing her head back.

"Good to have a little girl chat with you, hon." She rises to her feet, grinning, her fangs protruding over her bottom lip. "Let me know if you need anything. Always happy to help."

The door opens just as she heads down the aisle, and Silas steps in. Sam spreads her arms, almost skipping towards him. Silas stops short, his eyes darting from me back to her.

"Silas!" Her voice is fucking terrifying. "We were just talking about you!"

"Is that right?" He gives her a nod.

"Yeah, talking about how great it is that you're such good friends, weren't we, honey?" She looks over her shoulder at me, smiling a saccharine smile.

"That's right." I give Silas a smile that I hope looks genuine and doesn't betray how I'm really feeling.

"He needs to do a supply run to Savannah, just FYI." Sam gives me a wink, before tossing her red hair and breezing past Silas with a clap on his shoulder.

We both wait for her to leave, for the door to firmly swing shut before Silas keeps moving towards my bed.

"You get some rest?" He perches on the end of my bed, reaching out to take my hand.

"Yeah, I did." I give his fingers a squeeze, so intensely grateful that he's here and that crazy bitch is gone. "She was just here when I woke up and… I don't even know. It was so creepy."

Silas exhales harshly, and pulls me a little closer to him. "She's being fucking weird."

"Maybe she's jealous?"

He grunts out a laugh. "Yeah maybe, but she is right."

I frown. "About what?"

"The supply run. I need to go to Savannah tomorrow." His eyes start to change color, and I can practically feel the lust dripping off him as he smiles. "Fancy being busted out of here again?"

"You're crazy." I roll my eyes. "She's probably baiting you and she'll turn you in the second the truck leaves the gates."

"Nah, she wouldn't do that to me." His expression shifts, and he pulls me closer still, so that our legs are touching. "I need to be alone with you. I don't know how I'm going to go without…" He shakes his head, his eyes dropping to my chest. My nipples instantly harden under his gaze, goosebumps prickling down my arms, and he growls low in his throat. "Fuck, angel."

"Silas, we have to be careful," I say urgently, trying to stamp down the desire that's coursing through me. This isn't the time, it isn't the place. But the way he's looking at me…

His hand creeps under the sheet, up my thigh, and his eyes meet mine as he slips a finger inside my panties. He groans softly as my lips part in a silent moan, his finger stroking my clit, then slipping inside me.

"Silas, they're right outside," I whisper, biting my lip as his fingers keep moving and probing. He pushes two fingers inside me, and I whimper, covering my mouth with my hand. He's insane. That creepy bitch is probably watching through a damn peephole or something. "You need to stop."

"Quiet, angel." His eyes stay fixed on my face as he works me into a frenzy, hot and wanting. He smiles as I pant, trying to stay still on the bed in case anyone looks in on us. "That's it, eyes on me. Fuck, you're so desperate, aren't you?"

"Mhmm." I nod, my body starting to shiver.

He leans closer, his thumb stroking my clit hard as his fingers crook against my g-spot, rubbing and pushing. "Are you sore?"

I nod again, keeping my lips pressed together to stop myself crying out. My answer seems to please him, his eyes wandering over my face.

"Can you still feel me inside you, angel?"

"Yes." My eyes slip closed, but fly open again almost instantly as he pinches my nipple hard.

"You stay right here with me," he commands in that low voice that almost has me come apart on his hand. "Fucking hell, I wish my cock was in your ass right now."

I moan at his words, the pressure in my belly too much, I can't keep quiet. I want him in my ass too, I want him to fuck my throbbing pussy, no matter how sore I am. I reach out and stroke him through his pants, and he hisses in a serrated breath.

"I need to feel that hot cunt on my cock," he murmurs. His words unravel me completely, and I come hard on his fingers, swallowing down my cries. I'm sweating and shaking, my hand digging into his thigh with so much ferocity, I'm surprised I haven't shredded a hole into his uniform.

Silas withdraws his fingers slowly, raising them to his mouth and licking me off them as I watch. He looks me over and grins, shaking his head.

"Such a bad girl, making me crazy like this."

"We have to be more careful." I can barely speak, my breath rasping out of my lungs. "You can't do that here."

"So come on the supply run with me tomorrow."

I laugh, running a hand through my hair, and puffing out breaths through pursed lips. "Was that your plan? Make me come so I'll agree to this genuinely stupid plan?"

"It was, in fact." He inhales deeply through his nose. "You smell so good. If I don't have you again soon, I'm going to go insane."

I stroke my hand over his and sigh. "How is this going to go on? We can't… I mean, we can't be together."

"Don't think about that right now."

"Silas-"

"No." His jaw is tense, and he shakes his head. "Don't. Don't dwell on what can't be and just focus on what we can have."

"Even if it's just stolen moments in a truck on a supply run?"

"Whatever I can have." His tone is almost desperate, his eyes hardening as he gazes at me. "Whatever I have of you. I told you, if this is all I ever have, then it's enough."

"It isn't for me." The words slip out before I think about it, and my head drops. "Sorry. I just… I'm in my own head right now, I've never… I mean I've never had… I've never felt…" I don't know what I want to say, but I know it's bigger and heavier than anything I should say right now on a bed in a dorm, when he's just made me come on his hand.

But then his fingers are notched under my chin, forcing my head up to look at him, meeting those red eyes. He searches my face, and shakes his head.

"I never thought I'd feel this way again. And I'm so fucking angry that this is how we met. That this is our story. But if the world had to go to hell for me to find you, then let it be damned. It was worth it."

I inhale sharply. The warm, jagged feeling surrounding my heart right now drives tears into my eyes. "Do you mean…" I trail off because I don't know if I can handle him saying those words to me. It would hurt in the most beautiful way. I never expected love to hurt in this way. Instead, I shake my head, brushing a quick, dangerous kiss to his lips. "I'll come with you tomorrow."

"Good." He dips his head briefly to mine, our foreheads touching before he gets to his feet. "I'm sorry."

I raise my eyebrows. "For?"

He hesitates, shifting on his feet. "I've never been good at… talking about it. How I feel. But I want you to know that last night… That was me showing you." His eyes meet mine, and they're flooded with love and tenderness. His mouth curves into a brief grin as he huffs out a laugh. "It sounds incredibly trite, but, you know, I mean that. I may not be good at saying it, but I'll show you. Every day, in every way I can."

I nod, because the emotions putting pressure on my lungs right now are too much. I just nod, and watch him leave the dorm. And all I can think about for the rest of the day, as the rain keeps falling and the vamps assess the storm damage, is that the next day Silas and I will be alone again, for hours.