18. Juliet

"Honey, are you alright?"Gina asks as we hang our freshly washed clothes on the line.

I nod, fighting the energetic breeze as it threatens to tear my tank top from my hands. "Yeah, I am." I bend to pick up a pair of shorts from my basket, and when I stand back up, Gina is still frowning at me. "I promise, I am, really."

"Something happened with Matt, didn't it?" Her eyes flicker over the bruises on my neck and chest that are still clearing up. "Did he do that?"

Sure, in a way. "No, that matter was dealt with." I avoid her eyes, continuing hanging up my clothes.

"So why are you and Matt not together anymore?" She asks, moving to my side. "I hate to pry, but you're so pale, you're barely eating, and I'm so worried about you sweetheart." She raises a hand to my face, cupping it gently, just like my Mom would have done. "Please talk to me."

My lip trembles, and I don't want to give in to the feeling, to the grief that keeps snapping at my heels everywhere I go. I blacked out when he raped me. I should be glad that happened, right? I should be glad I wasn't conscious for it. But somehow not knowing what he did, how he did it, just waking up knowing that he had…

I sniffle, trying to hold back my tears. "One of the vamps attacked me," I say quietly, and Gina inhales sharply. "He dragged me into a storage room, and… He…" I swallow hard, and Gina strokes my cheek.

"Oh my god, honey." She looks like she's going to cry. "Did they catch him? Did someone stop him?"

I nod, a sort of warm feeling breaking out as I think of Silas sitting next to me in the clinic all night, holding my hand and stroking my hair. "One of the other vamps, the tall one with the dark hair, and all the tattoos? He, well, he found… Us. And he killed the vamp that was…" I trail off, shaking my head.

Gina exhales heavily and gathers me in her arms. "Oh my god. Sweetheart. I'm so, so sorry."

"I'll be OK. Eventually." I laugh, a little bitterly. "I guess time heals all wounds, right?"

Gina draws back from me, her face twisted with anguish. "How did this even happen? None of the other feeders noticed?"

The lump in my throat stops me from answering. I just push myself into Gina's arms and let her hug me, and she soothes me with kind words as she strokes my hair. I just want my mom. I want my mom so bad. I try hard not to cry because crying is exhausting and I've done too much of it, but a few tears run down my cheeks.

"It's alright, sweetheart," Gina says softly. "We'll get you through this."

Suddenly she tenses, and turns us, pushing me behind her. She starts swearing in Spanish, and I look over her shoulder to see Matt crossing the yard towards us.

"You stay away from us!" Gina holds out an accusing finger. She has no idea what he did, but she obviously suspects enough to know that I don't want him anywhere near me. Matt's face is twisted with sadness, and he holds both hands up as gets closer.

"Please, I just want to talk to her." He looks past Gina, at me as I cling on to Gina's shoulders. "Juliet, babe, I'm sorry. Please, please talk to me."

I dig my face into Gina's back, and she waves her hands. "You fuck off." She turns to put an arm around me. "You leave her alone, the poor girl has been through enough."

"Please, I just want to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you!" My voice is shaking, my whole body trembling. I can't look at him. I can't look at the face of the man I thought cared about me, who let that feeder do that to me. "Just leave me alone!"

But he won't, walking closer still. Gina tries to steer me away, up the garden towards the feeders who are starting to move towards us, curious about what's going on.

"Juliet, you have to understand," he says, "this whole situation, I had to do what I had to do. This is important."

"Important?" My whole body goes tense with rage. "Important. He raped me. He nearly killed me. That's what you had to do, huh?"

Matt runs his hands over his head. "You don't get it, I never wanted that to happen. But I had no choice. Please, please, listen to me."

"No." Gina ushers me away. "No, I'm not listening to any more. She doesn't need to listen to you, Hijo de puta." She spits on the ground. "You don't come near her again."

She sweeps me up the hill back to the buildings, muttering and swearing under her breath. A feeder stops us when we reach him.

"Is there a problem?" He asks.

Gina nods, gesturing with a wave over her shoulder. "Just some asshole not taking the hint."

"As long as there's no trouble." His gaze turns to me. "The doctor wanted to see you once you were done with your chores, so why don't you go on ahead."

"I'll take her," Gina says quickly, her arm still around my shoulders as she guides me towards the clinic. "Do you want me to come in with you?"

I shake my head, wishing my breathing would steady itself. "No, no, it's fine, really. They probably just want to check my blood pressure again." I don't tell Gina about the emergency contraception they made me take while Silas wasn't there, or the gynecological exam I was subjected to. Superficial scrapes, consistent with sexual assault. That's what they'd said.

The words make me sag a little as I replay them in my head. As I relive that moment, when no one was there to hold my hand or soothe me.

No one except Silas.

Gina leaves me at the clinic doors, saying she'll wait outside but I wave her off, promising I'll be fine. I push inside, past the cubicles where humans are having their blood harvested. I go to the room with the blue door, which is open, the doctor sitting inside with a file open in front of her.

"Hi," I say, and she looks up, gesturing for me to sit down.

"How are you feeling?"

I sit down, nodding. "Not terrible. I'm still getting tired easy."

"Well, that's normal, make sure you keep eating well and tell the guards when you need to rest." She scribbles some things down in her file. "Any other problems? UTI or any bleeding?"

"No." I clench my teeth together to stop my jaw chattering. I feel cold, even though the day is warm and sunlight is streaming in through the window.

"Good." She makes a few more scribbles before looking up at me. "I thought it might be a good idea for you to do some exercise, you know, start jogging and do some weights."

I frown at her. "What? Why?"

"Well, the thing we're concerned about after something like this is depression obviously, and exercise is a great way to produce endorphins. Not to mention it'll increase your appetite. You've lost a lot of weight, it's not good for you."

Lots of things aren't good for me here.

"Sure, sounds good." I fidget with my fingers as she writes down some more notes. I look out the window at the bright sun, at the trees waving in the breeze, and I feel like I'm stuck in some deep, dark hole.

We go through a few more basic checks of my blood pressure and temperature, and when she's finally satisfied I'm not going to collapse into a heap anytime soon, she sends me on my way.

When I get outside, Matt is waiting for me.

I tuck my arms across my body and put my head down, determined to just storm past him.

"Juliet, please," he says urgently, reaching out to grab my arm.

I fling his hand off me and keep walking.

"Juliet, talk to me, please."

"I don't want to talk to you." Why the fuck won't he just leave me alone? "I have nothing to say to you"

He grabs me, spinning me to look at him. "Babe, please."

I shove against his chest, trying to get out of his grasp. "Let me go!"

"Juliet, stop it, you're making a scene!" He shakes me, his eyes wild. "Just shut up and let me talk to you."

"Fuck off!" I slap at him, trying to push him away, and then arms are around me, pulling me away from him. I spin straight into Silas's firm chest, looking up into his red eyes. He strokes a strand of hair out of my face.

"You OK?" He asks.

I nod, pressing my forehead against his chest, my whole body going soft with relief. "I just wanted to leave the clinic, and he… He just won't leave me alone."

"You've been given instructions, mate." Silas's tone is hard, authoritative. "I think you were told pretty clearly to stay away from her."

"I just want to try and explain-"

"I said," Silas interjects, his arm moving around my shoulders, "you are to stay away from her. You don't look at her, you don't talk to her, and you certainly don't fucking touch her. Have I made myself clear?"

"I just need to talk to her, goddammit!" Matt is shouting now, and I flinch.

"Right, you can go cool off." Silas calls to a guard nearby and orders them to take Matt away.

I don't listen to where they're taking him. I don't care. As long as it's away from me, I'm happy. I nuzzle into Silas and try to calm my breathing by focusing on his smell. He smells fresh and clean, like he's just had a shower. He smells a little like cologne, woody and musky. I like it, it's soothing. I keep my eyes closed, and focus on him and his warmth.

I realize after a few minutes it's gone quiet, Matt's shouts and protests can no longer be heard. I raise my head, looking straight into Silas's eyes. He smiles down at me, his arm still around my shoulders.

"He's gone now."

"Thank you. That just really shook me up. He-he wouldn't leave me alone. Kept saying he needed to explain."

"You don't need to listen to him anymore." Silas raises his eyebrows. "I'm sorry I didn't keep a better eye on you. But he won't be allowed near you. I'll see about getting him moved away permanently."

"Thank you." I laugh softly. "I'm surprised no one's told you off for touching me like this."

"I think they all know that you need a little extra care at the moment." He strokes a finger along my jaw. "We just want you to be alright."

"The doctor said I should work out, you know, for my mental health." I say with a sniffle.

"Good idea. I can take you to the gym with me if you like."

"You wanna be my personal trainer?" I ask with a small smile.

"Sure, anything you need that'll help." He brushes a soft kiss against my forehead. "Come on now, let's get you back to the dorm. You need to rest."