Chapter 9

9

I had to force myself to stay upright.

Her lie was a close range shot to the heart, meant to leave me bleeding out on the floor. And it would've worked if I didn't know she was full of shit.

"Maybe if you say that a few more times, Laney baby, you can convince yourself it's the truth," I told her.

She was getting more pissed by the second and I could feel the air in the room become turbulent and I knew she was gearing up to tell me off.

Better to let it all hang out now.

"You're unbelievable . Keep behaving this way and I won't have to convince myself of anything. You'll do it for me."

I. Was. Done.

I'd been standing far enough away to give her space but still smell the coconut lotion she'd smeared on her long, tanned legs. Far enough away I could beat back the urge to pull her into my arms and do shit to her that included my mouth, but did not include words.

The language that she and I only spoke, and when I engaged my mouth, she sang. She moaned and panted and cried out in pleasure. What she didn't do was bitch, complain, or lie.

Her body couldn't. It spoke the truth.

I started toward Delaney and she retreated. Her back hit a wall and she cornered herself in. She opened her mouth to speak, likely to spew more lies but I didn't give her the opportunity. My mouth hit hers and my tongue swept in. She tried to struggle for three seconds, exactly three, I counted. After that her body softened, her tongue brushed mine, and she whimpered.

I took and she followed.

Fucking perfect.

I deepened the kiss to further prove my point, and my plan backfired in a big way when her back arched, pressing her tits into my chest and my dick twitched in my pants. My hands moved from her hips into her hair and tilted her head to the side and made an already seriously hot kiss hotter.

No one better.

Not that I'd kissed anyone other than her since I was a horny teenager playing the field. But there had been many before her and none had ever made me lose my mind, not like Delaney. When my lips were on hers nothing else existed.

And when she caught fire, she caught fire. Ever since the first time, after I'd taken her virginity. She was not shy in our bed. She allowed me to take what I needed but she did it in a way that was demanding and wild.

Every time I'd left I'd counted down the days until I got to see her, feel her, and taste her again. Every day I was gone I thought about her, and every night I'd dream about her.

Until the day I'd hesitated, that night and the ones after had been filled with nightmares.

Her hands went under my shirt. One traveled up, scorching a path up my back, the other dove into my shorts, finding my ass, and her nails dug into the muscle.

Without warning I tore my mouth from hers and she whimpered. Her eyelids half mast, lips red and puffy, a pretty blush on her cheeks.

"Carter," she breathed.

Goddamn.

"Yeah, baby."

Her eyes snapped all the way open and she blinked away the remaining hunger.

"Carter!" Both of her hands came out of my clothing and she tried to step away but she was backed to the wall.

"We staying here tonight or going home?" I asked.

Delaney's body stiffened and her eyes came to mine. "We're not going anywhere. I'm going home. You can do whatever you want to do. But whatever that is, will not be with me."

"Home it is," I mumbled and stepped away from her. "You done packing?"

"Enough. Seriously. I can't do this. I waited for you. Prayed even, that one day you'd come home and tell me to pack up, move us to Virginia, and we'd finally be together. I put my life on hold. God, I was so stupid. I don't trust you, Carter. I gave you everything, begged you to take it, and you turned your back on it. Now all of a sudden, you've seen the light and expect me to be grateful. Well, I'm not. Eight years ago, I would've been in heaven. Five years ago, I would've jumped at the chance. A year ago, I would've followed you anywhere. Now? I just want you to go away."

Delaney stopped slaying me with her words and blinked at the tears brimming and went for the kill shot. "A part of me will always love you. You were my first everything. My first love, my first kiss, the first man to touch me, the first to make love to me. But you're also my first heartbreak. The first and only man to break me. A bigger part of me knows I deserve better. Please let me go so I can find it."

The pain was rolling off of Delaney in waves. I felt it fill the room and I wanted nothing more than to take it from her. I wanted to soak it up so she'd never feel it again.

"I'm not letting you go." Her shoulders slumped at my announcement. "I would, Laney. If I thought for a second, you'd be happier with me gone, I'd leave. If I thought there was a man out there that could love you better than I could, I'd let you go. I keep telling you, I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry. I can't press upon you just how sorry I am. But on your five-hour drive back up to Georgia I want you to think about our life. Stop thinking about the things we didn't talk about. Stop thinking about the verbal commitments I didn't give. And start remembering all that I gave you."

"You didn't—"

"Stop," I snapped. "Stop thinking about what I didn't do, what you didn't do, what we didn't do. And remember, Laney. And just so we're crystal clear, I didn't need a verbal commitment to stay true to you. I didn't need promises of a future to know you were mine. The words didn't matter because I knew without them, deep down to my soul you were it for me and because I knew that, I knew I was it for you. Forget what I said and remember what I did. I always came home to you. Always. Every free moment I've had for the last eight years has been spent with you."

"Right. In secret. You'd come home, and we'd hide out."

"Fuck, woman. You ever stop to think why that was? Not the bullshit I said about our families not understanding. But really think about it. We had limited time. Sometimes I could slip down for a weekend or two during the month. But that meant there were weeks between when I got to see you. Sometimes I was gone for months and when I finally got a chance to come home, do you really think I wanted to share that time with anyone? Months, Laney. Months of missing you. Months of dreaming about you, thinking about you, needing you so badly I fucking ached. Do you really, really think I wanted to waste a second of my precious time with you, with our families or our friends? Fuck, Laney, I wouldn't even share you with the damn TV. I wanted all of you. All of your time. All of your attention. You weren't my secret. You were my goddamn sanctuary. I'd come home with my head fucked up from all that I'd seen or done, and one damn look at you the weight would lessen. One touch, and I could breathe. When we'd hit our bed and you'd wrap yourself around me, I'd finally feel whole. So do not lie to me or to yourself and tell me you didn't feel it."

I stepped away from her, giving both of us space.

"You have five hours, Delaney. I'll meet you at home. If you're not there, I'll track you down. Five hours to sort your head. I suggest you use your time driving wisely."

With one last look at her pale face, no less beautiful with all the color drained out of it, I turned and started for the door.

"And just so you don't twist this, I'm not leaving you, I'm giving you time. If I thought you were ready, I'd lock you in this house and neither of us would leave. But you need to remember and I'm going to give it to you. I'll see you at home, baby. Drive careful."