Chapter Nine

M any times, her siblings spoke of Susan’s unwavering composure, intelligent nature, and practical planning.

This was especially true last night when she presented their adoption plan that would increase their chances of success.

Bullet points included having a crib in each of their bedrooms along with the one in the baby’s nursery.

Setting up a care and feeding schedule so each of them could get a break but also have time with the three of them.

A PowerPoint slide simply labeled Physical had a bolded TBD right in the middle.

“Thinking a slow, getting-to-know-you situation would keep emotional factors in check,” she insisted this morning. But as she passionately embraced him right now, that TBD could easily transition to JBF.

She kissed him like Aragorn kissed Arwen at the end of The Return of the King . Get your head in the game. No nerd references, Reynolds!

His mind wandered to what else she might be adventurous about, which made him truly thankful he wasn’t wearing sweatpants.

When they came up for air, he brushed his lips against hers and appreciated the taste of chocolate and whipped cream from her drink. “If this is starting slow, I’m all for it because I wanted to kiss you today.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Had you hoped to kiss me like this before I got here?”

“Many. Many times.” So many times.

As the sunshine poured in, she licked her lips as though she were debating kissing him again. “Really?”

Tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear, Reynolds nodded. “The moment I met you on that first FaceTime call, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Then you let me check on you. The more I learned about you, the more I wanted to know.”

For a moment, she wide-eyed stared as though she didn’t truly believe him. “I made that much of an impression?”

“You’ve haunted my dreams more times than I can count.” Dammit, I sound like a lame version of a Jane Austen novel.

“You know how to deliciously complicate things, sir.”

“Thanks.” Maybe she likes lame versions of Jane Austen novels?

“Guess we need to work on the specifics of that Physical slide. I mean, because people who date kiss, right?”

He wasn’t sure who she wanted to convince more. Him or herself. “They do, but these are special circumstances.”

Her eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. “That’s true. We’re married so… are we dating? We’ve done this all so backward. I don’t even know what the protocol is.”

“The protocol is whatever we decide it is. As long as we understand the ground rules.” This was certainly uncharted territory for him. Granted, he’d been married before, but a year of dating did occur before the I dos. He could generally predict how to navigate the emotional cycles of a relationship. Here, everything was brand-new.

“So, kissing is okay with you?”

Was it ever. If he started kissing her, he might never stop. “We’re married. Seems a logical thing married people do.”

“Logical, huh? Now you’re just teasing me.” She playfully pouted.

“I am, but I am serious about understanding our protocol.”

“That’s fair. The best chance of success is when we understand the rules. Present a united front for the adoption. For us. Right?”

Gently, he placed his hands on the curve of her waist, relishing her closeness. “Please know, I’m not only interested in you because of a box on an adoption application and your great organizational skills.”

“I know that.”

“I’d understand if you wanted to back out—”

“No way.” Her cute nose crimped. “Do you?”

“No, but it would be easy to be caught up in the moment.”

“I’m not caught up in anything. I know exactly what I’m doing.” A sultry tone now replaced her playfulness.

Don’t screw this up, man. “Susan, I appreciate you having this much faith in us. Me.”

“But?”

“No buts. Just worry.”

“About?”

Shit. He didn’t plan to tell his backstory today, but he walked right into this one. “Worry we won’t stick because I work too much. It’ll bother you when I’m distracted by a patient’s diagnosis. Go to the hospital when they need help. You’ll be annoyed about my weird shift work. Sleep schedule. When I don’t want to go out and be social. When I fall asleep before eight.”

She threaded her fingers through his hair as if to calm him. “I get all that.”

“You would, wouldn’t you?” With them both being in the medical field, it erased the stress of explaining every time a patient kept him late. Or if he was at the hospital at all.

“Is that what happened with your marriage?”

The woman was too observant for her own good. “I was in medical school, and she loved the idea of being married to a doctor. Hated that I was barely home because I was studying, in class, or at clinicals. When I was home, I was exhausted.”

“Didn’t she understand what you did for a living?”

“She loved the status. Hated the reality. Loved the potential for what I’d make. Hated the loans I had to pay off. Loved having crazy sex. Was mad when I was too exhausted. Up. Down. On. Off. Love. Hate.” When her fingernails lovingly grazed his scalp, he almost purred.

“It’s a lot of work what we each do. It takes a tremendous amount of time to learn. Some patients deserve more of our attention.” The soothing cadence of her voice almost lulled him into a drunk stupor. “That’s why you want to know the ground rules? You need consistency.”

“I don’t want to screw this up.”

“You won’t. I have faith in you. In us working together.”

It was as though she reached into his brain and plucked out his fears. Before he could reply, his phone buzzed a unique pattern. “That’s work. Give me a moment?”

“Yes. Take your time.”

After a quick update on a patient, he returned to find Susan splashing water on her face and giving herself a quiet pep talk. “Breathe, Susan. It’s going to be okay. You’re doing a good thing here.”

Doing a good thing? His heart stopped. The last thing he wanted was for her to be a part of this due to obligation. Hell, for three years he tried to get this far in the adoption process, and this entire adventure terrified him. He rubbed the back of his neck as she took deep, cleansing breaths before grabbing the sink sprayer and rinsing an already clean surface.

As drawn to her as he was, he wouldn’t bind her to this because of an impulsive promise to a distressed young woman. Or to rescue him. Right as he decided to give Susan an out, she discreetly sobbed, “What if… what if he wants more? I can’t give him… because I’m broken?”

“Did someone say that to you?” he blurted, obviously scaring her because she spun around with the handheld sprayer still in her grip.

Cold water immediately drenched the front of his clothes.

“Oh, shit!” She scrambled to turn off the faucet before frantically opening and closing drawers. “Shit! Shit! Shit! I needed some cold water… there’s a towel here somewhere.”

Biting back a laugh, he opened a drawer and pulled out two towels, handing one over. “Easily fixed.”

Chagrin stained her cheeks as she patted herself, then the counter and floor, dry. “Sorry. I didn’t think you’d be back that fast.”

He appreciated her attempts to constantly be composed, but she didn’t have to put on such a brave face for him.

She placed the perfectly folded towel on the counter. “I’m so sorry about the water.”

“It’s water. What do you mean you’re broken?”

“What?” She ran her fingers through her hair, slicking it back, giving him a full view of her makeup-free face.

Then he had to remind himself to breathe.

No photograph could ever do you justice, Susan Davidson. Most of her thick, dark hair remained restrained in the hair clip, but a few escaped strands drifted about her cheeks.

The deep green of her eyes reminded him of the polished sea glass he, Nate, and their sister, Audrey, collected on trips to the California beaches with their grandparents.

During the trips he stood on the sand as the ocean called to him like a siren’s song, luring him closer to uncertainty. He always fought the urge to give in to such desires, but today, he desperately wanted to drown in them. “Why would you be broken?”

“You heard that?”

“I did. And why would anyone say that to you?” Whose ass do I need to kick?

Squaring her shoulders, she locked her arms across her chest. “There’s a reason I broke off that third engagement.”

She didn’t answer my question. “Anyone who doesn’t think you’re anything but amazing isn’t worthy of you.”

The compliment had her shifting her weight. “That’s kind of you to say.”

“It’s not kindness if it’s the truth. But why would he say you’re broken?”

“Because he’s a jerk.” Her lips slowly parted as she seemed to study him. Her eyes full of questions as they settled on his mouth.

After several moments of her stare, he couldn’t help but ask, “Thinking about that kiss, aren’t you?”

Because I know I am. In fact, that memory would never leave his brain anytime soon.

“I’ll admit, it was an impulsive decision. I apologize if it made you uncomfortable. Complicated things.”

“I think you’re putting too much emphasis on a PowerPoint slide.”

“Probably.”

“And I don’t think you mind complicating things.” Despite her cool exterior, he wished he could read her mind. The sultry , learned thoughts tumbling in that brain of yours, Ms. Davidson. He could almost see them popping over her head in dialogue bubbles like in the comics he read.

“You’re right. I don’t, because married people, even people who are dating, have some sort of physical contact. Attraction. And I’m very attracted to you.”

“Good.” Really, dude? A gorgeous woman tells you she’s attracted to you and all you can manage is “good”? “I mean, yes. Great. I’m attracted to you, too.”

She let out a nervous laugh as she ran her fingers through her hair. “But I also don’t want to mess this up for you. For me. For us. All three of us. Is everything okay with work?”

The powers of deflection are strong with this one. Dammit, Reynolds. No nerd references! “Patient returned for stitches removal. They let me know since I wasn’t sure if he would.”

She returned to the table, her fingers immediately fiddling with her coffee mug handle. “If it’s who I think it is, he came in the wrong entrance, and ended up in the clinic.”

Inhaling the wake of the sweet scent of her shampoo, he followed and joined her. “The kid’s not the brightest bulb. Cut his hand on a beer bottle last week. Before then he dislocated his thumb during house repairs, jammed his toe when he kicked a cinderblock, and burned his eyebrows off when he added too much lighter fluid to the outdoor grill.”

“Sounds like quite a character. I’ve treated a few of those patients in my time.”

Reynolds drummed his fingers on the table for a few beats. Say something clever. “Tell me about yourself, Susan. Something that doesn’t involve you being a nurse.”

“Born in Florida. I’m the oldest girl—”

“Or a Davidson sibling.” When excitement sparkled in her eyes, Reynolds understood her a little better.

She truly loved her siblings like he loved his, but after the heated discussion about her previous suitors, it was painfully obvious Susan needed to be someone more than their nurse sister. More than the woman who took care of everyone after that accident.

Or the bride who canceled her wedding for all the right reasons.

And he greedily anticipated discovering who that Susan was.

A smile spread across her face. “I like superheroes.”

They’d spoken about movies and superhero franchises many times, never totally agreeing on which reigned supreme. “Marvel or DC?”

“You’re ready to have that conversation again?” Instantly, her eyebrow cocked as she leaned forward, almost daring him to continue.

Shit. I’m a dead man. “It’s probably too early to revisit that discussion.” However, he hoped she’d initiate it because it thrilled him that she could name the three different men who donned the Blue Beetle costume and explain how the 1967 Captain Marvel was not the present-day DC Shazam.

“It’s never too early to discuss such important matters. If we’re going to go on this baby adventure together, we need to know where we begin.”

You really are a dream come true. “Correct. Speaking of baby adventures, did you always want to adopt?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” He hoped she wanted to adopt for the right reasons because so many didn’t.

A sweet smile spread across her makeup-free face. “I had this great friend in school, Chloe. She and her brothers were adopted, and her parents were amazing. Fun, loving family.”

“She sounds nice.”

“They were. No matter what, they were there for each other, you know? Kept wondering what it took to step up to care for a child who needed an advocate. A safe place to be. Love them unconditionally. Forever.”

“You mean people who aren’t family?”

“Biologically speaking, but they are still family.”

She gets it. So often, he talked to people about adoption, only to hear things like But what about their real family? or How can you care for a child that’s not really yours?

“After the accident, when Lucy was in the ICU and our mom was so beaten up, I kept wondering who would step up for us. For Peter, Edmund, and me.” Her finger traced the rim of the Flintstone-themed mug. “Dad was gone. Mom couldn’t, wouldn’t, get out of bed. Peter was too young to be deemed our guardian. I worried constantly about us being separated like so many other foster sibling groups.”

“No family? Of any kind?” Despite her matter-of-fact tone, the idea of having no one to help sliced him deep.

“My mother and her parents had a big falling out about a year before the accident. My father’s parents died before I was ten. Neither were close to any cousins or siblings. The day Peter turned eighteen, I breathed a sigh of relief since he could be our guardian if need be.”

“Oh shit, you’re right. I didn’t think about that.”

“I did. Every day.” She took a long swig from her mug and licked the whipped cream from her lips.

“I bet you did.” Even at their most desperate times, Reynolds never doubted his grandparents could be there for them. He couldn’t imagine being a fourteen-year-old without a safety net and strapped with a whole lot of responsibilities.

“During all that, I decided I would adopt one day so a child would never have to worry about who’d step up for him or her. Even if I wasn’t there, I had my siblings so there would never be a moment where that baby had to worry about such uncertainty.” The steady tempo of her fingers drumming on the table indicated she might not quite be done telling her story. “But not everyone is interested in adoption. Finds it an acceptable option. No matter why I wanted to.”

No matter why she wanted to?

“Is that why you broke off the last engagement?” He berated his speak-before-thinking mode.

The drumming stopped. “He refused to consider it. Only wanted bio babies. That was a deal-breaker for me.”

Was that why he called her broken? Although he understood it, Reynolds held little sympathy for a man who allowed a woman like Susan Davidson to slip through his fingers. “His loss. My gain.”

“And mine. Ours.” She swept her arm out and pulled her gaze from his. “This is a beautiful kitchen. Love the colors.”

Deflection. “Blue. Grandma’s favorite. She ran a little baking business out of here. Grandpa loved her, so he made her a dream kitchen.”

She reached over and held his hand. Her thumb brushed the backs of his fingers. “Tell me more about them.”

The same gentle gesture from earlier, but this time, her touch felt more purposeful, more intimate. Or maybe he was simply increasingly aware of how close they were.

“Married over fifty years. Committed to each other. To family. Taught us how to cook, clean, fish, fix things.” If she keeps stroking the back of my hand like that, I’m going to have to excuse myself for a few minutes.

“They sound like great role models.”

“They were.” Decades of love, laughter, and tears lived in these walls, and suddenly, the weight of this entire situation finally registered.

No matter how much becoming a father meant to him, if she had a sliver of doubt, he would not proceed with her. To bring a woman into this who loved only the idea of being a parent, but had no desire to do the work, would be soul-crushing.

Like his mother had.

Sadness uncomfortably churned his gut as he gently sandwiched her hand between his. “Susan, are you sure—”

“I like blue, too.” After a quick kiss to his cheek, she refilled her coffee.

“What?”

“It’s true blue, so that’s gotta be a good sign, right?” A mix of fear and curiosity swirled in her eyes, as though the rational and emotional sides of her brain fought for dominance.

“A true blue?”

“Wonder Woman blue. Add a bit of red and gold to represent Wonder Woman’s outfit and the Lasso of Truth?” Despite her trembling fingers, her smile lit up his heart.

“I’d rather you just wore the costume and tied me—” Horror filled his chest as he realized his lust went vocal. Way to go letting your pants speak for you.

Without a hint of embarrassment, the corner of her mouth curled up. “Guess I won’t need to use the Lasso of Truth on you.”

Swallowing hard, Reynolds squeaked, “Do you have those items?”

“Which items?” Fire danced in her eyes as she leaned back in her chair, her mug partially hiding her playful smirk.

“A lasso or an outfit?” I can’t believe I’m asking her this and she hasn’t thrown hot coffee in my face.

“Like Lori said, we still have a lot to learn about each other.” Confidence radiated from her. She was a woman who owned her desires, her wants, her fantasies.

And she wants to raise a baby with me.

Leaning forward, he asked, “Where have you been all my life?”

She reduced the gap between them and played with the buttons on his shirt. “Florida.”

The urge to kiss her reigned supreme, and as he leaned in, both of their phones pinged.

He greedily grabbed it when Lori’s name popped up.

Papers signed. Heading to the nursery now.

“She signed.” Every muscle in his body relaxed right as Susan threw her arms around his neck.

“She signed. Let’s do this.”