Chapter Ten

A fter so many rejections from the foster care powers that be, the opportunity to be a parent literally dropped into Reynolds’s hands because he happened to walk in on a robbery.

It couldn’t be that easy.

Waiting three years, filling out a thousand forms, taking annual foster care classes, having his finances and references searched with a fine-toothed comb, and being told no more times than he cared to mention had been far from easy .

Serendipitous? Maybe.

Now, standing over the crib his brother cursed while assembling, a perfect infant slept as an amazingly smart woman who loved sci-fi and superheroes and might have a sexy Wonder Woman costume at her disposal stood at his side.

Could this sexy meet-cute be the universe apologizing for his disastrous marriage? For the genetic roadblock, he chose not to pass on?

“She’s beautiful.” Susan interlaced their fingers.

Joy threatened to suffocate him, but he slowed his breathing while they watched the tiny being they helped into this world. “She is.”

No matter how many times he imagined this moment, being present in it now overwhelmed him.

Years ago, his grandfather tried to explain how much he loved his grandchildren. “I love you so much it hurts,” he’d say.

As a kid, that made no sense to Reynolds. Why would anyone love until it hurt?

But today, he understood all too well, and he had the brunette next to him to thank for getting him this far. For helping him become a father.

No matter her pain or her sad backstory, or what her stupid former fiancés ever said to her, Reynolds promised he’d help her heal. Hopefully, she’d let him.

And they would work for the long haul. “Hey. You hungry?”

“I could eat.”

After grabbing the baby monitor, they turned to find Odin sitting in his box that he positioned right inside the nursery doorway.

“I thought we put that out in the living room.” Susan scratched the cat under his chin.

“Guess he brought it back.”

“Hello, Nanny Cat.”

Odin responded with a meow and a loud purr.

They headed to the kitchen, and each prepared a plate from the Chinese takeout Lori brought with the baby.

“Do you have suggestions for her name?” Susan moved a slice of carrot around her plate before eating it.

“I’m surprised Bernie didn’t name her.” Best he understood, the moment those papers were signed, Lori stepped out to talk to the charge nurse. When she returned, Bernie had already left down the back stairs. “I hope she’s doing okay.”

“Me, too. Is that orange chicken?” She pointed with her wooden chopsticks.

The sunlight poured in, bringing flickers of colored light from the Flintstones suncatchers that hung in several of the windows. Blue, purple, and pink danced around the room as the sun played peekaboo with the clouds.

“I like the sparkly artwork. Adds character to the space.” Susan pointed as a fat strip of purple floated on a cabinet door.

“My sister loved those kits where you put the tiny pieces of glass in the metal frames, then bake them.” He hadn’t thought about that for a long time. How Audrey sat at this very table, taking her sweet time picking up each piece of colored glass with tweezers and placing them exactly where she wanted it. “She wanted them perfect, but when the steroids caused her to shake too much to steady her hand, Nate or I would help.”

“That’s really sweet. I’m guessing you three were close.”

“We were. Nate and I still are.”

“It looked like my brothers and sister aren’t, but we are. We all just haven’t been around each other much these last few years, but if I needed a kidney, they’d be there.”

“You’ll find your groove.” But if they upset you like that again, we’re gonna have words.

“Thank you for understanding us.” Susan put down utensils, scooted her chair closer, and cupped his face before laying a gentle kiss on his lips. “I don’t know why someone hadn’t snatched you up before now, but I’m sure glad no one did.”

A nervous chuckle escaped him at her compliment. Still, he buried his hope deep.

As attracted as they were to each other, he reined in his libidinous thoughts. One scenario included kissing her lips, then down her neck, and farther south. “Susan, let’s back up.”

She put her hands up in surrender, then rubbed them on her jeans. “Of course. Bullet points. Plans. Slides.”

He was going to hate himself for asking this, especially if he got an answer he dreaded. “Susan, be honest. Do you have any doubts? Any that might make you want to break it off?”

Her lips thinned. “You worried about what Lucy and Peter said a few days ago?”

“How you always call it off eventually? I’d be lying if I said no.” Since his mother took off before he turned thirteen, the discussion about Susan’s previous dating history scared the shit out of him. Obviously not enough for him to call off this adventure, but still.

“Fair enough. Here’s the thing, husband .”

I love the way she says that.

“I may have been engaged to those guys, but I was never one hundred percent sure if it would work. There were a few reasons I called it off, which I won’t go into right now.”

I wish you would. “No?”

“No, but with you? Doubt never entered my mind.” She took a large bite of her egg roll. “And you might have noticed, I married you. Not them.”

Yeah, she did marry me. Suck that, crappy fiancés! “No doubt?”

“Nope.”

He should bask in the glory of her words, but he had to ruin it. “You know I can’t give you a biological child, right?”

She froze for a split second. “You’ve been very transparent about that.”

“And that doesn’t worry you?” The sharp smell of ginger emanated from one of the containers on the table, making his mouth water.

“I don’t need to get pregnant to be happy. Have a family.”

“You’re sure?” In a normal situation, they would have already had this conversation, but since they’d done everything backward, he had no idea where they were regarding their journey.

Friendship?

Co-parenting-ship?

Starting mostly platonic with kissing with plans to get a glimpse of her wearing her secret Wonder Woman outfit. And then taking it off her.

“I’m completely sure. Why? Did you change your mind about wanting a bio baby?” Despite her confidence, her voice hitched on the word bio .

He tapped his bare foot against one of the table legs. “My sister was amazing, but she was also constantly sick, in pain, and missing out on most of her childhood. She never got to be a kid. Regularly go to school. Hang out with her friends. Had to be careful being in public. Around anyone who might be sick.”

“It can be a rough disease.”

“After med school, Nate referred me to a friend of his who specializes in genetics. Grace. I got tested.”

She played with a random lock of her hair. “Then that’s how you knew you’re a homogeneous carrier.”

As brave as he wanted to be, he couldn’t keep the sadness out of his voice. “To be honest, Audrey isn’t the only reason.”

“Tell me, please.” Susan turned to face him, but in her eagerness, he swore he noticed worry in her eyes.

“I mentioned I was married before.”

“You did. And she didn’t handle your medical school schedule very well.”

“She desperately wanted a biological child, even with my genetic concerns.” His attempts to be an analytical storyteller failed as regret strained his voice.

Leaning forward, she grabbed his hand, a comforting gesture she’d already mastered. “What happened?”

“She was insistent about having sex all the time.”

“Sounds rough.”

Hearing it out loud, it sounded absurd. “Let me qualify. She said she wanted to have sex all the time because we were newlyweds. The truth? She planned to get pregnant as soon as possible. It didn’t matter that we agreed to wait until I was done with med school and residency. My concerns about passing on issues, she ignored.”

“Sounds like you needed marriage counseling.” Susan offered him the last of the orange chicken, then split it evenly between them. “Did she get pregnant?”

“She did and her water broke in her second trimester.”

“How heartbreaking.”

Odin wandered in and plopped down next to his bowl, his good eye sending demanding glares across the room.

“There were complications, but a one-in-twenty-five-thousand-risk type thing. Still, it was a wake-up call for me.” He looked up at the ceiling for a few beats, not wanting to pull at the thread of his failed marriage but needing Susan to understand him sooner rather than later. “Her doctor explained another pregnancy would be just as risky. She wanted to try anyway. I pushed for adoption. Tried to convince her it would be safer. She refused. So that was that.” And I broke her heart.

“That’s a lot. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with me.”

All he could manage for a response was a stiff smile because he had to confess it all. “Looking back, it’s obvious I focused far more on potential fatherhood than being a good, present husband.”

“What do you mean?” She rested her head in her hand as she fully faced him.

“I was constantly concerned she’d get pregnant. I wasn’t sure about kids at the time, and I should have enjoyed the time for it to be just us. Maybe she would have calmed down about a family. Maybe things would have been different.” The guilt still lingered in the back of his brain for taking that choice away from his wife. And now he was doing it to Susan.

“That had to be a tough time for both of you.”

“I lost Audrey and my grandmother because of genetic illnesses. I couldn’t watch another woman in my life die or suffer because she wanted to risk it for something she thought she needed to give me. I didn’t want to give a disease or the gene to my child for the sake of my DNA. Adoption worked just fine, but I could never convince her of it. I offered her a divorce. She accepted.”

“That was noble of you, Reynolds.”

As much as he appreciated her kindness, he shook his head. “Noble? Not even close. Some people would tell me I’m selfish for not having a bio child.”

“Some people are not the issue here. It’s only me and you. That’s all that matters right now.” She said it so strongly, he waited for her to take on the Wonder Woman stance.

He’d be done for if she did. “There are plenty of people out there who have CF, and survive a good long time. Treatments are better than twenty years ago, but no matter how you slice it, it’s a lot to handle, and don’t even get me started on the medical costs.”

“I remember juggling all my mother’s medical bills. Fighting with insurance companies. It’s never-ending. And exhausting.”

He pushed something around on the floor with his toe. “It’s a lot to navigate.”

“It is. Since we’re digging deep today, how old was Audrey when she passed?” She stacked their plates and tossed the empty cartons while he fed the cat.

Every detail of his sister’s final day branded his mind. The way his brother and grandparents all sat at her bedside as she took her last breaths. “Twelve.”

With tears in her eyes, she wrapped her arms around her waist, the confidence she held not moments ago suddenly vanished. “Not much older than Lucy when we had the accident. We weren’t sure if she’d make it through that first night. That first week.”

“Must’ve been tough for things to change so quickly. Audrey had been sick her entire life—”

“But that doesn’t mean it didn’t break your heart.”

“No. You’re right. It did. Still does.” He marveled at how well they connected. Enough to keep him cautiously optimistic. Still, it didn’t escape him that she didn’t completely answer when he asked specifically about her being broken .

A tiny fuss from the baby monitor immediately rendered them mute, but the infant settled back down.

Susan let out a long exhale before she smiled. “That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

“She’s probably going to be hungry soon.”

“Order up.” For the next several minutes, they cleaned the kitchen and Susan prepared a few bottles. The way she so effortlessly fell into the role of mother astounded him, a natural-born nurturer with a fierce mama-bear heart.

Am I robbing her of having her own baby by doing this? “Susan?”

“I can hear you thinking from across the room.”

“Am I that loud?” He unpacked the three bottle warmers they planned to set up in the kitchen and each of their bathrooms. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You want to know what I’m thinking?”

“Yes.”

“Without a filter?” She laughed before snatching a few pieces of chicken from one of the containers already tucked in the refrigerator.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Who hadn’t wanted to know what truly churned in that intelligent mind of hers? Maybe the same person who said she was broken? Now he was just pissed.

“You have no idea how nice it is for someone to ask me exactly what I’m thinking. I’ve carefully chosen my words for a good, long time.”

“Why would you need to?”

The faint quiver of her bottom lip indicated whatever drifted through her mind hurt like hell to think about.

She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms. “I suppose it wasn’t anyone’s fault that it mostly fell to me after the crash. I had to be so careful about what I said around teachers or other well-meaning adults, because the last thing I wanted was Child Protective Services getting involved, separating us.”

Oh shit. I never thought of that. He collapsed two of the bottle warmer boxes and placed one on the floor. “Would they have?”

Odin licked his lips as he finished his dinner and immediately headed to the new box. He tapped it with his paw before sticking his head inside and flipping it on its side.

“It was always possible someone would get worried about us. Especially if they knew how close to financial collapse we were most of the time. How our mother barely got out of bed. I didn’t want that pitying look from classmates or boyfriends about our situation in general. As I got older, my mindfulness of words simply stuck.”

Over the past year, each of her siblings explained this sweet sister. He marveled at how a fourteen-year-old girl saved her family. Then again, he was around that age when he had to do the same until his grandparents took over. The difference was that she had no one for backup other than a brother who was barely older than she was. He tugged on her hand, leading her back to the table and encouraging her to come sit on his lap. “This okay?”

“We’ll call this addendum one A.” Without pause, she loosely wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Talk to me.”

The pain in her eyes told him it sat far deeper than her siblings ever understood. With gentle fingers, she played with his collar. “It’s just a sad backstory, Reynolds. It doesn’t change anything to talk about it.”

Again. Deflection. As much as he didn’t like how she handled those hard questions, she’d been here only a few days. Their year of lighthearted conversations rarely dug deeper than superficial. To hear her sorrow triggered his want to heal her wounds. “It might be nice to get it off your chest.”

“Maybe. But not today. Not her first day here.”

Instead, he savored her closeness, hoping to gain a bit more of her trust. “Susan. You don’t have to be strong for everyone else anymore.”

“I know.” She touched her forehead to his.

A wayward lock of her hair tickled his nose.

“That includes me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Gotta be real honest with you about this platonic situation we talked about.”

Locking green eyes with him, she traced the line of his jaw. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Her touch almost sent him cross-eyed. He held on to his sanity with his fingertips, but if she kept touching him so intimately, he’d be hard-pressed not to kiss her again. Everywhere. “I’m going to try real hard to keep things not physical.”

“Interesting that you put it that way.”

It took a moment for him to process what she meant. And then he liked her even more. “Funny.”

“I try.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I appreciate your concerns and honesty. I will, too, try real hard to keep things not physical until we’re ready to move in that direction. Like a normal relationship.”

“Day-by-day, right?”

“Yes. But we are married so I think we’re allowed a faster timeline.”

“We are?” Now that idea certainly made his jeans fit uncomfortably.

“I’m in it for the long haul, especially now that she’s here. We need to come up with a really amazing girl name.”

She was so good at turning a phrase. “Any suggestions?”

“Yes.” She smiled at him like he could do no wrong.

God, I want to kiss you senseless. “You want to tell me?”

She repositioned, now straddling his lap but sitting on his midthigh.

He appreciated and regretted the distance between them.

Susan rested her forearms on his shoulders. “What about Audrey? After your sister.”

If she’d punched him in the heart, it would have shocked him less. “I would love that.”

“So would I.”

“And I really l-like you, Susan.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him flush. “I really like you, too, Reynolds.”