10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

M eera had kindly come and helped me get ready for my royal visit this afternoon, picking out clothes and showing Tilly and me the way to the sitting room I was meeting them in.

“I’m a little nervous,” I told her honestly.

“I understand why, but you don’t need to be,” Meera assured me. “Ophelia always does all the talking where the ex-Hunters are concerned, the king is just there for show. And she’s very friendly, I promise. They’ve probably made it seem more intimidating than it needs to be by formally inviting you to have tea with them in a private sitting room,” she added disapprovingly.

“Did you not have to do that?”

“It was a group event since a few of us arrived at once, and it was in Elverston House where we were staying so it didn’t feel quite so… structured.”

I wondered if they were handling me a little more gently than they’d handled the other ex-Hunters. I really didn’t want them to think they had to. I wanted to be able to contribute meaningfully the way everyone else did.

“We’re here,” Meera said quietly, giving my arm a squeeze. She wasn’t speaking quietly to avoid drawing attention to us, I didn’t think. From what I’d gathered, she was just a very softly spoken person. Her voice was very soothing to listen to.

“Are you coming in?” I asked, a sudden flutter of nerves taking flight in my chest.

“I was going to, but I see Damen is hovering in front of the doorway, waiting for you,” she observed, sounding curious about that fact.

“Oh, that’s so kind of him,” I whispered, hoping there was enough distance between him and I that he wouldn’t hear the words. “He’s very involved for a prince, isn’t he?”

“Not usually,” Meera replied lightly, giving my arm a quick squeeze which I took as a warning not to say anything more. “Hi, Damen. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Tilly bounded ahead, and I heard him ruffling her fur fondly and speaking to her in a low affectionate voice. I was surprised she’d run up to him at all—usually she was content to stay close to my side and barely acknowledged anyone else’s existence.

“I thought it might be nice for Iris to have someone she’s already met here to make the introductions.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Of course, I’d intended to stay with her…” It was difficult to pick up on tone with Meera because she had such a reserved way of speaking, but I hazarded that she sounded a little amused.

There was a long stretch of silence before Damen spoke again. “You can come too if you want.”

“No, no, that’s fine. Iris, if you’re content to go in there with Damen, I’ll leave you to it.” She was definitely amused now. And perhaps a little hopeful? I got the impression that Meera wasn’t overly fond of group social situations.

“Of course. I’ll be fine with Damen. Thank you so much for helping me this morning.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll come and collect you before dinner? Like yesterday?”

“I would appreciate that. Thank you so much.”

She extricated her arm from mine and suddenly Damen’s much larger one was there in its place, guiding me forward while I gripped Tilly’s lead in my other hand.

“You’re not nervous,” he said decisively, which confused me for a moment before I remembered Tallulah saying that Shades could read our emotions through scent. That would be an odd adjustment.

I felt a brief flash of jealousy that they had an extra sense for reading people when I was already at a disadvantage being one down, but I quickly squashed the impulse. I wasn’t a Shade, I couldn’t expect my body to function the way theirs did.

Besides, as Nana always said, comparison was the thief of joy.

“Iris,” a friendly, feminine voice said. “Welcome! It’s so nice to meet you. My name is Ophelia. This is my husband, Allerick.”

There was a sort of grunting sound that I presumed was the husband in question. Did they not use their titles here? It seemed like a very informal way of greeting the king. Then again, perhaps movies had given me an unrealistic expectation of how royalty worked. There had been a lot less pomp and ceremony than I assumed there would be so far.

“And this must be Tilly?” Ophelia asked.

“Oh, yes.” Tilly pressed hard against my legs, knocking me a little further into Damen’s side. Fortunately, he was as solid as a rock, and steadied me immediately.

“Yes, this is Tilly. She’s a little shy, sorry.”

“Is she?” Damen murmured. “She likes me.”

Ophelia laughed. “I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve charmed the dog too. Damen charms everyone. Sit, sit, please. We have tea and cake.”

“Not everyone ,” Damen muttered as he guided me around a couch until we could sit down, with Tilly on top of my feet. “She’s exaggerating. I don’t just go around charming everyone I encounter.”

“Okay,” I replied, a little bemused. Had I missed something?

When the king finally spoke, I heard the resemblance between him and Damen immediately, though his voice was gruffer and less personable. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here, little brother.”

“Damen has been so kind,” I said hurriedly, not wanting him to get in trouble for inviting himself along. “He’s really made so much effort to make me feel welcome here.”

“How altruistic of him,” Allerick murmured.

“Very,” Ophelia added enthusiastically. “So helpful of you, Damen.”

“I want to make sure Iris is comfortable here,” he replied, still sounding oddly defensive. Maybe he didn’t get long with his brother? “Here, Iris. A plate of little cakes.”

He carefully pressed it into my hands and I set it down on my lap, feeling around with my fingertips. Would they taste like cakes in the human realm? I’d only ever had cake on my birthday or Nana’s, it was the most special of treats. Though, after tasting pizza, I couldn’t decide what I was most fond of.

“This one is my favorite,” Damen whispered, gently nudging my fingers with his knuckles toward something soft. I plucked it up carefully, hoping I wasn’t making a mess as I nibbled on the edge of it.

“It’s delicious,” I agreed, forcing myself to be polite and not shove the whole thing in my mouth. It was creamy but sort of citrusy all at once. So far everything in the shadow realm I’d eaten tasted very similar to the kinds of flavors I would expect to find back home. Not flavors I’d eaten necessarily, since Nana and Clara had always favored plainer foods, but they were things I’d heard about, at least.

“How are you finding everything so far?” Ophelia asked, kindly waiting until I’d finished chewing to ask.

“Amazing, thank you. I feel very welcome and taken care of.”

“Good, good. We know this is a big adjustment for you, and we really want you to be comfortable here.” I waited, sensing that there was more she wanted to say. “I hate to get down to business as it were, but I kind of have to ask about your parents. Did they know you were going to leave? How are you expecting them to react?”

“You don’t need to worry about them coming after me,” I assured her, feeling silly that their concern hadn’t occurred to me earlier. Of course, they were worried that harboring Moriah Nash’s daughter would bring trouble to their doorstep. “That would mean publicizing my existence, which is something that Moriah has always been very careful not to do.”

“We’re not suggesting you go back or anything,” Ophelia said softly. “If this is where you want to be, we’ll defend your right to stay here no matter who challenges it. We just need to know what to expect, that’s all.”

“If they thought I was in the human realm, I imagine they’d discreetly hunt me down and lock me back up again—it was why I didn’t want to stay there even though I was given the option to escape them. I wanted to come here. They’ll never follow me here. If anything, they’ll be glad that I’ve removed the problem from their lives.”

The silence extended for a painfully long time, and I wondered if I’d been a little too honest. Maybe I should have come up with a palatable lie rather than giving them such an uncomfortable truth.

“They’re fucking idiots,” Damen grumbled, breaking the tension.

“I’m sure they did the best they could,” I said weakly, because Nana would have been so disappointed with me if I didn’t at least try to defend them. As she always pointed out, my birth had been a terrible setback for Moriah’s career.

“And a Hunter helped you to come here?” Allerick asked eventually. “He contacted Astrid, if I recall correctly.”

“Yes—Lucas. My brothers had befriended him. He offered to smuggle me here. Or somewhere in the human realm. Just anywhere away from my family, really.”

“This is the same Lucas who reported Verity to the Council when she showed up in the human realm?” Ophelia confirmed, though it was clear by her tone that she already knew the answer.

“It is. But he feels really bad about that,” I added quickly. “And he put himself at a lot of risk to get me out. I really hope he’s okay…”

“We have a contact in the human realm. I can ask her to check, if you like?”

“Oh, would you?” I asked, immediately relieved. “I would really appreciate that. I just don’t want him to be suffering because of me.”

Damen grumbled something too low for me to catch, but he sounded distinctly unimpressed. Lucas probably did have a bad reputation here because of what he’d done to Verity—maybe I should be a little less overt in my concern. The idea didn’t sit well with me, though.

I didn’t want to have to hide away pieces of myself anymore.

“There’s not much we can do,” Ophelia said apologetically. “Verity’s mate will likely not be the most understanding if we bring Lucas into the shadow realm—if Lucas even wants to be here.”

Mate. It was such an interesting word to use.

“Theon is also my older brother,” Damen added, leaning in to speak to me. “And his ability to think things through and assess the possible consequences of his actions is extremely limited.”

I nodded in understanding. Lucas likely wouldn’t be safe here either.

“Is there anything I should be doing?” I asked tentatively, not wanting to bring up the whole power generation thing again. Perhaps lust was a slightly inappropriate topic to broach over tea and cake with strangers. “I feel very lazy, sitting around all day. Is there some kind of job or something I could do?”

“Not right now. Just get accustomed to the shadow realm first and see what you’re interested in. There’s no rush.” There was an urgency in Ophelia’s voice that took me by surprise. I’d vaguely considered that the Shades needed the ex-Hunters who’d moved here more than the ex-Hunters needed them—the idea of being valuable was a large part of what drew me here.

At the same time, I wasn’t like the other ex-Hunters who’d chosen to come here. My options were more limited, I was very much reliant on the good graces of the Shades. I didn’t want to take advantage of their kindness.

“Why don’t I take you around the palace?” Damen suggested. “Give you more of an idea of the place. I know Tallulah and Meera covered the basics, but there’s a lot more to it.”

“That is so kind, thank you.” I bumped him gently with my shoulder before searching my plate for the next little cake to eat. Was cake more delicious than pizza? I couldn’t decide. I needed more pizza to be able to truly judge, but I somehow doubted that was a shadow realm food.

“It is very kind,” Allerick agreed, sounding amused. “ Very helpful. You’re really going out of your way, Damen.”

“Damen has been so generous with his time,” I told them. “I’m sure he has much more important things he should be doing—I’m so grateful for all his help.”

“I’m sure it’s no trouble for him,” Allerick said cheerfully.

The king clearly didn’t appreciate just how much Damen was doing. I would have to find a discreet way of letting him know how amazing his brother had been when I next got the chance.

We left the eerie silence of the library, Tilly’s claws clicking on the stone ground as we headed back through the corridors. It was slightly cooler here, with a faint breeze on my skin. Perhaps we were near a window? My fingers flexed a little on Damen’s arm at the sudden realization of how much I must trust him already. It had just been the two of us as he guided me around the palace, and I’d felt completely safe in his company the entire time.

“I think we’ll leave the garden for another day,” he said, more to himself than anything.

“We should probably head back—I’m sure I’ve interrupted your routine enough for the day.”

He fidgeted slightly, his thick upper arm brushing my shoulder. “Not really.”

“Is this your day off?”

“The schedule of a prince is an ever-changing one. No two days are the same.”

That made sense.

“Well, I appreciate you taking yet more time out of your day today to show me around. It’s been so helpful to get a better idea of how the palace is laid out and how busy it is.”

Honestly, just getting the words out was more challenging than I expected. Whenever I thought about how generous Damen was being with his time and attention, it almost brought me to tears.

He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. “I really didn’t have any other plans. This has been far more enjoyable than spending the day alone, I promise.”

I clearly didn’t know anything about royalty. In my mind, there was no spending the day alone for princes. But maybe entourages and such were only a movie invention? Nana did say I had an overactive imagination.

“We can probably skip the next room,” Damen said. “It’s the nursery. The courtiers usually leave their offspring here while they… you know. Socialize. Do court stuff. Whatever.”

“Are we not allowed to visit the nursery?”

“I mean, we can if you want. Infant Shades aren’t exactly great conversationalists.”

“I don’t mind that.” I’d never really spent any time around young children—with the exception of my brothers, and I was only seven years older than them, so it had been a while.

“Okay…” Damen said slowly. “Would Tilly be okay waiting out here by herself? It might be difficult to keep all the little claws from grabbing her, and I’m sure she wouldn’t enjoy that.”

“No, not at all,” I agreed, touched that he was thinking of Tilly’s welfare. “Stay, Tilly. She’ll wait here, she’s very good.”

Damen opened the door, guiding me inside. Whatever the door was made out of, it had done an impressive job at keeping sound out. Immediately, we were greeted by shouting and laughter, as well as a few infant cries.

It was slightly overwhelming since I wasn’t accustomed to so much noise. At the same time, there was something almost comforting about it. Bright and cheerful and lively . So different from my quiet attic.

“Yara,” Damen said, speaking to what I assumed was one of the caregivers. “This is Iris. She just moved here. Are we able to visit awhile?”

“Oh, of course. Please, come in. The children love to meet the ex-Hunters—the queen comes to visit when she has time.”

“Let’s sit,” Damen said decisively, his grip tightening a little on my arm. “There are tripping hazards everywhere. Children are so stressful.”

I laughed. “Do you want any of your own?”

“Yes,” he replied, his voice slightly strangled as he guided us to sit. We were immediately surrounded by a small crowd of excited children, though I couldn’t tell whether they were excited about him or me.

The fact that the prince was in their nursery was obviously a special occasion, but I was more of a novelty from what I gathered. They all spoke very fast—and not always in English.

“I’m going to distract them for a minute,” Damen said. “Hold on.”

“What are you going to do?”

“A little magic show, of course.” He sounded so cheeky when he said it. I wished I could see his face, just for a moment.

I felt him leave my side and then there was lots of ooh-ing and aah-ing from excited children, interspersed by bursts of laughter. At one point, one of his shadows tickled under my chin, and I led the giggles as I squirmed away.

Damen was such a natural, not just with children, but in front of a crowd in general. I couldn’t imagine being so comfortable with that much attention.

I startled at the feeling of something pricking at my legs, realizing they must be claws, though much less deadly than a full-grown adult’s. They snagged on the fabric of my borrowed skirt, scratching lightly at my skin.

Damen was back at my side in an instant, and I felt as he carefully removed the small hands from my legs. “Sorry, I think she was trying to climb up and sit on your lap.”

“She can if she wants to,” I replied, lowering one hand in her general direction. She immediately grabbed onto my fingers, and I felt Damen correct her hold so that her claws were away from my skin. After a moment, he helped lift her, and she landed softly on my lap, wriggling back against my torso in her bulky cloth diaper while still holding on to my thumb.

She was a lot sturdier than I expected. Then again, Shades appeared to be much larger than humans, so that made sense.

“She probably can’t speak to you,” Damen said, his voice softer now. “Or not very well, at least. Shades learn lots of languages—both ones from our realm and from yours. Her vocabulary is probably a bit of a mish-mash of all of them at this point, especially here at court. Infants who grow up in their home region might not learn any dialect other than their home language for many years.”

“Hi,” I whispered, carefully maintaining my grip on the wriggly Shade on my lap as she turned around and climbed up on her knees, releasing my hand so she could play with my hair. I was a teensy bit nervous at how close her claws were to my face, but Damen was leaning in so close that I could feel his breath warming my jaw. I knew in my bones that he’d intervene before I could get hurt.

“She likes you,” Damen observed. “Which makes sense since you are very likable.”

There was a strange fluttering feeling in my stomach that I’d never experienced before. “Am I?”

“Of course, you must know that.”

I’d never given the matter any thought. My family had mostly seemed annoyed by me, so I supposed, if anything, I thought that I was just an annoying person.

“I haven’t spent time around anyone other than my immediate family and a couple of staff who worked there over the years. Lucas was the first person I can remember interacting with outside of our family. I have no idea what kind of person I am.”

“A very likable one,” Damen said firmly. “Your kindness was the first thing I noticed about you. And your patience and gratitude.”

What a lovely picture he’d painted of me in his mind. I knew for a fact that there were moments where I wasn’t as kind as I could be, or I forgot to be grateful, or felt impatience. Nana had always made sure to correct my behavior, and I hoped I remembered to do the right thing in her absence.”

“But none of what I say matters,” Damen continued. “Nor does what your family may have said. You decide how you feel about you.”

“I like that idea,” I replied quietly as the little Shade on my lap brushed the ends of my hair with her claws. I didn’t know exactly who I was yet.

But I was going to figure it out.