Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Kenzie

I tell myself to stay calm. Maybe they were just talking. But then why was Nikki in his room? And why is Jace asleep? Guys fall asleep after sex. Is that what they were doing? Why else would she be in his room?

My heart sinks as I realize it’s too late. I waited too long to tell Jace how I felt and Nikki swooped in and took him back.

When did it happen? Jace has been gone a lot lately, but I thought he was hanging out with the guys. Or working out. Or studying at the library. But now I’m thinking he was with Nikki. Maybe he’s been seeing her for weeks and didn’t want to tell me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as Nikki takes a bottle of water from the fridge. She looks even skinnier than I remember. She’s wearing dark jeans and a tiny t-shirt that’s cut off at her midriff, revealing her belly button which is pierced with a diamond stud.

“I forgot my earrings.” She holds up a pair of thin silver hoops.

Her earrings? Jace said he got rid of all her stuff, so if her earrings were here, it means she’s been over to see Jace before tonight. How long has it been going on? And how did I not know this? Does he sneak her over when I’m not around?

“I’m always forgetting things here.” She laughs to herself as she goes past me to get her coat from the couch. She grabs it and heads to the door. “When Jace wakes up, tell him I’ll be ready to go again when he comes over.” She smiles. “I just can’t seem to get enough of him.”

She walks out the door, leaving it open. I go over and slam it shut. I wait for her to drive off, then put on my coat, grab my keys, and go outside. I need to walk. I’m so angry right now. I need to walk it off before I explode. As I’m walking, I call Dan.

“Did you talk to him?” Dan says when he answers.

“He’s back with Nikki.”

“Wait—what? How do you know?”

“I caught her coming out of his room just now.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

“No, he’s asleep. I can’t believe he’s seeing her again. How could he get back with her after what she did to him? Are guys really that stupid?”

“Not all of them. And I don’t think Jace is. I don’t think he’d get back with Nikki. It doesn’t make sense, especially knowing the way he feels about you.”

“Well, you’re wrong, because he’s definitely back with Nikki. She was in his room. And she left her earrings here, which means she’s been here before tonight.”

“Okay, hold on. You’re making all kinds of assumptions, none of which may be true.”

“You think Nikki just stopped over and snuck in his room when he was asleep to make it look like they were back together?”

“Maybe. She sounds kind of crazy.”

“She is, but that’s not what happened. She’d only do that if I were home to see it, and I wasn’t. She had no idea when I’d be home. And how do you explain why her earrings were in Jace’s room? Jace said he got rid of all her stuff.”

“Maybe he thought he did, but the earrings were in a drawer he never looks in.”

“Then she would’ve come and got them after they broke up, not months later. Dan, I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but the truth is right in front of me. Jace is back with Nikki. It’s too late.”

“You could still tell him how you feel. Maybe the thing with Nikki isn’t serious. Maybe it’s just sex.”

“Yeah, that makes me feel better,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Jace and I are friends, and I’m just going to keep it that way.”

“But that’s not what you want. And do you really want him to be with Nikki?”

“No, but if he’s stupid enough to take her back, there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t tell you how many hours Jace and I spent talking about our exes, saying how we’d never take them back, and now here he is, back with Nikki.”

“Kenzie, I’m really sorry. I never thought he’d do that.”

“I didn’t either.”

“You want to go somewhere? We could grab dinner. Get a drink. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks, but you need to talk to Maddie.”

“I could do it tomorrow.”

“No, you can’t keep putting it off. You need to talk to her.”

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’m fine. I shouldn’t even be mad about this. It’s not like Jace was cheating on me. He’s free to do what he wants. I’m more mad at myself for not talking to him weeks ago. I can’t let you make the same mistake. Call Maddie. Do it now. Don’t wait. At least one of us should have a happy ending.”

“You’ll have yours too. Maybe not today, but someday. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Not if things work out with Maddie. You two need time to make up. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll assume you two got back together.”

“And if you do hear from me, it means things didn’t go well and you owe me a drink for making me do this.”

“Deal. Bye, Dan.”

“Bye.”

As we were talking, the sky clouded up and it started to rain. It’s cold out, and the rain’s making it feel even colder. I don’t want to go home yet, but I don’t want to get soaked either.

I turn around and head back to the house. The rain slows but the wind picks up. I duck my head down, trying to shield my face from it.

“Kenzie?” I hear a girl say.

I look up and see Maddie coming toward me, bundled up in a pink coat and white knitted scarf, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. She has a big smile on her face, like she always does. She’s one of those half-glass-full kind of people. Even when things aren’t going well, she has a smile on her face.

Maddie works at a coffee shop close to campus. I don’t go there often, but when I do, Maddie greets me like we’re best friends. She remembers everyone she meets and any details you tell her about yourself. I once mentioned my mom was going hiking in South Africa and the next time I saw Maddie, she asked me how my mom’s hike went, even though it’d been weeks since she saw me.

“Hey, Maddie.” I give her a hug because she’s already hugging me. She’s a hugger. “What are you doing here?”

“I was at a friend’s house. She lives down the street. I’m just walking back to my car.”

“Are you heading home?” I ask, so I can tell Dan.

Maddie doesn’t know I’m friends with Dan, and she’s never mentioned him to me. But we really haven’t talked other than the few minutes it takes for her to make my coffee.

“I think I’ll head over to the mall,” she says. “I don’t feel like going home. My roommate’s gone for the weekend and it’s kind of lonely without her. Hey, what are you doing tonight? Maybe we could do something.”

“Um, I would, but I already have plans.”

“Then maybe some other time. I know we don’t really know each other, but I feel like we could be friends.”

Given how much I know about her from Dan, I feel like I already am friends with her.

“Hey, Jace!” she says.

I look back and see him coming toward us.

“Hey, Maddie.” He glances at me, probably wondering what I’m doing talking to Dan’s ex. I’ve never told Jace I’m dating Dan, but I think he assumes I am. He knows Dan and I went on a date, but I never mentioned Dan again after that night. Then again, Jace and I haven’t talked much the past few weeks. He hasn’t been home, probably because he’s out with Nikki.

“Are you going somewhere?” I ask him.

“Work just called. One of the guys didn’t show up so I offered to cover his shift. What are you up to tonight?”

I shrug. “Not sure.”

“You just said you have plans,” Maddie says with a frown.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. I’m going out with friends. Nothing too exciting.”

“Would you mind if I tag along?” Maddie asks.

Seriously, why is this happening? I never run into Maddie, and the one time I do, she wants to hang out? On the same night Dan wants to finally tell her how he feels?

“Um, let me text my friend to make sure we have room in the car.”

“Couldn’t she just drive herself?” Jace says.

That’s just great. Now Jace is getting involved. I’ve gotta stop this.

I quickly text Dan. Ran into Maddie. She wants to hang out with me tonight. Won’t take no for an answer. Call her! Now!

“What’d she say?” Maddie asks.

“I’m still waiting.”

“I’ve gotta get to work,” Jace says. “See you guys later.” He walks off to his truck.

Maddie’s phone rings.

“Go ahead and get it,” I tell her.

“Hello?” she says, answering the call. Her face goes from confused to concerned.

What is Dan telling her? He was just supposed to ask her to meet, not tell her everything over the phone. Maybe it’s not him. Maybe it’s someone else.

“Dan, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” she says, turning away from me.

So it is Dan on the phone, but what is he saying?

“You do?” she says, turning back to me. “Me too.” She smiles, her face lighting up. “Okay! Yes, let’s meet! What time?” She nods, then says, “Wait. Could you hold on a minute?” She covers the phone and says to me, “Would you mind if I don’t go out with you tonight? I know I said I would but—”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll go out some other time.”

She nods, then says to Dan, “Okay, I can meet! See you soon!”

“Who was that?” I ask as she puts her phone away.

“My ex-boyfriend.” She can’t stop smiling. “We broke up last summer. I haven’t talked to him since, but he just called and invited me to meet him at our favorite restaurant.”

“You think you’ll get back together with him?”

“I hope so. I’ve missed him like crazy. After we broke up, I realized that maybe I was pushing him too hard to get married and have a family. It’s what I wanted, but Dan wanted to wait. I realize now that it was wrong for me to not even consider what Dan wanted. I was going to tell him that, but I thought it was too late. He’s really good-looking and the sweetest guy ever. I figured there was no way he’d still be single.”

“He must be if he wants to see you.”

“Maybe. He didn’t say what this is about so I’m trying not to get my hopes up.”

“I have a good feeling about it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.” I smile. “You should go talk to him.”

“Okay! Bye!” She takes off, hurrying down to her car.

At least Dan’s night is going to go well. As for mine, I’ll be home thinking about Jace with Nikki. I could call up Andrea and see if she wants to go out, but she’s probably already at a party, or out with Troy or one of her other friends.

I end up spending the night on the couch, watching TV. At nine, the phone rings. It’s a call from a number I don’t recognize.

“Hello?” I answer.

“Calling from—in Cape—hospital. We’re—”

I can barely hear the woman talking and her words keep cutting out. I’m only getting part of what she’s saying.

“I can’t hear you. Who is this?”

“This is—nurse. Your mother—rocks and—arrived here she—” The phone cuts out again.

I sit up. “My mother what ? What did you say about my mom?”

I’m not sure who this is, but hearing the words ‘hospital’ and ‘mother’ has me in a complete panic. Something must’ve happened to my mom. Something serious enough to put her in the hospital!

The woman starts talking again in a thick accent. “Your mother fell down a—doing tests to see—don’t know if—”

“Wait! Stop! I only got part of what you said. Can you use a different phone? Or repeat what you just said? My mom fell down a what?”

There’s silence, and when I look at my phone, I see the call disconnected. I quickly call back the number. It rings and rings, but no one picks up. I call my mom’s number and it goes straight to voicemail.

Something happened to my mom. She’s in the hospital, and I can’t find out what’s wrong with her. What if something really bad happened? She’s halfway around the world. I can’t get to her, or talk to her. I can’t even find out what’s wrong!

I’m pacing the floor, gripping the phone in my hand. I call that number again, but nobody answers.

“Mom, please be okay.” I drop to my knees, tears streaming down my face. “You have to be okay.”

I can’t be without my mom. She’s my only family. My dad acts like I don’t exist. All I have is my mom. If anything happened to her, I don’t know what I’d do.

I call Jace. He answers on the second ring.

“Hey, Kenzie.”

“Jace.” I’m crying and my voice is shaking.

“Kenzie, what’s wrong?” He sounds almost as panicked as I feel.

“Jace, I…” I sniffle. “I need you.”

“Where are you?”

“Home.”

I hear noise, like he’s walking or going through a door.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. It’s my mom. Something happened.” I can’t tell him any more than that. I’m crying too hard.

“I’ll be right there.”

As I wait for him, I keep calling that number that called me, but nobody answers.

“Kenzie, I’m here.” Jace bursts through the door and finds me on the couch, the phone in my hand. He sits down next to me. “What’s going on? What happened?”

“Someone called and said my mom is hurt. They said she’s in the hospital, but the phone kept cutting out and then it disconnected. I keep calling but nobody answers. She’s hurt, Jace. My mom is hurt, and I don’t know how bad or what’s wrong. Nobody will tell me anything!” I’m talking fast, tears running down my cheeks.

“It’s okay.” He pulls me into his arms. “We’ll figure this out. Take a minute to breathe, then tell me exactly what happened.”

Just having him here calms me, like it always does, like it did when we first met. There’s something about him that makes me feel better, and for whatever reason, only he can make me feel this way.

I tell him what happened, then call the number again and this time get a voicemail message from the hospital.

“At least you have the hospital name now,” he says, getting his phone out. “I’ll look it up and we’ll find a different number to call.”

He finds one and I call it. A woman answers, but I can barely understand her and she doesn’t know anything about my mom.

“She hung up on me,” I say, holding my phone out. “What the hell? Why won’t anyone tell me anything?”

“We’ll find a different number. What about the school where your mom works? Do you know anyone there?”

“No. And I don’t have their numbers. Why don’t I have this stuff? My mom should’ve given it to me before she left!”

Jace rubs my arm. “Try to relax, okay? We’re going to figure this out, even if it takes all night. Even if we have to fly down there ourselves.”

“You’d fly to South Africa with me?” I ask.

“Of course I would. You know that.”

Actually, I didn’t. I don’t know where Jace and I stand anymore. We used to be so close, but the past few weeks I’ve felt like we’re drifting apart. Except for now. Right now, I feel like we’re back where we used to be. This is the Jace I met my first day here. The Jace I miss. The Jace I fell in love with and wish was mine.

I swipe through my phone. “Okay, who should we call next?”

“Let’s try the school where she works. Someone there has to know something. What’s the name of the school?”

I give him the name and he looks it up.

“Okay, here’s the number.” He starts reading it off as a text comes in.

“Wait,” I stay, stopping him. “I just got a text.”

“From who?”

“My mom.”

“What’s it say?”

“Went hiking. Fell down some rocks. Broke my leg. Don’t worry, honey. I’m fine.” I hug him. “She’s fine! She broke her leg, but she’s fine!”

“That’s good news. Well, not that she broke her leg.”

“I have to text her back.” I send her a text, telling her how the phones weren’t working and that I couldn’t understand the woman who was trying to tell me what happened.

My mom texts back. Sorry they worried you. I’ll try to call when I can. Love you, honey!

Love you too!

“She said she’ll call when she can.” I set my phone down. “Why does texting work but not calls?”

“Because of the way they’re sent? I’m not sure. You’d have to ask a tech person.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just happy I finally found out what happened.” I look at Jace. “Sorry I called you. And sorry you had to leave work.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He pauses. “So why’d you do it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why’d you call me? We haven’t really talked much the past few weeks. So why did you call me and not someone else? Like Dan?”

“Why would I call Dan?”

“Because you’re dating him,” he says, like it’s obvious.

“We’re not dating. We’ve just been talking. He’s trying to get back together with Maddie.”

“He is? Is that why you were talking to her earlier?”

“No, we just ran into each other when I was walking back to the house. I really don’t know her that well. I just see her at the coffee shop.”

“So you’re not dating Dan,” he says, like he’s confirming it.

“No.”

He pauses, then says, “You still haven’t said why you called me.”

“Are you mad that I did?”

“No. I’m happy you did.”

“Then what difference does it make? It shouldn’t matter why I called you.”

He looks me in the eye. “But it does matter. I want to know why.”

I take a breath, summing up the courage to say this, because I’m afraid to. I’m afraid to put my heart out like this again.

“I needed to talk to you,” I say. “I needed to hear your voice. When I’m sad or angry or panicked and don’t know what to do, you’re the only one who makes me feel better.” I look down. “You’ve always been able to do that, and I don’t know why.” I swallow and take another breath. “I wasn’t going to tell you this but—” I look up at him. “I need to.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

“That I wanted us to be more than roommates. Even though I knew I could end up homeless if it didn’t work out, and left with a broken heart, I still wanted to try it. I wanted us to be more than friends. To try being a couple.”

“Why are you using the past tense? Are you saying you don’t want that anymore?”

“I do, but…”

“But what?”

“I know about Nikki. I know you’re back together with her. I don’t understand why, and I wish you would’ve told me but—”

“Wait. Back with Nikki? I’m not back with Nikki.”

“Jace, you don’t have to lie about it. I saw her coming out of your room. She made it clear you two were back together.”

“What are you talking about? When was Nikki here?”

“When I got home. You were in your room with her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I got home from class, went in my room, and fell asleep. When I woke up, nobody was there.”

“Nikki was definitely here. I saw her. She said she forgot her earrings. She had them in her hand when she left.”

He nods. “So that’s what she was talking about. She called me yesterday saying something about earrings. She kept rambling on and I had to get to class, so I just hung up on her. She must’ve been telling me she was coming to get her earrings. I didn’t even know I had them.”

“So you and her didn’t…”

“No. I didn’t even know she was here. She must’ve let herself in. I have to get that key from her. Or maybe I’ll just change the locks. I’m sick of her coming here without asking.” He reaches over and holds my hand. “I’m not back with Nikki. I haven’t even considered it. Since meeting you, I haven’t even thought about Nikki, or any girl. All I think about is you.”

I keep my eyes on him. “You mean as a friend, right?”

“And more.”

“More?”

“Finish what you were saying,” he says, still holding my hand.

“About what?”

“About what you wanted to tell me. You said you wanted us to be more than friends. Was that all you wanted to say?”

I pause. “Pretty much.”

“You sure? Because it kind of seemed like there was more.”

“Maybe, but…” I stop, not ready to say it.

“While you’re thinking, I’ll say what I’ve been wanting to say to you.”

“Okay. Go ahead.”

He turns to me. “I’ve wanted us to be more than roommates for a really long time. Pretty much since the moment I met you. We can keep telling ourselves it’s a bad idea, and how it may not work out, and whatever other excuses we can come up with, but that doesn’t change one very important thing.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I love you.” He takes a breath, and I get the feeling that he, too, is nervous to say this. To put his heart out there again. “I love you, Kenzie, and I want to be with you. It’s as simple as that. We can try to make it more complicated, which we already have, but it’s not going to change how I feel. And I think you feel the same way. I think that’s why you called me tonight instead of calling someone else. Or am I wrong about that?”

I look down at his hand around mine. “You’re not wrong.” My eyes go back to his. “Everything you said just now? It’s what I wanted to tell you.” I pause. “I want to be more than your roommate, or your friend. I love you, Jace. I’ve never even dated you, but I love you. How crazy is that?”

He shrugs, smiling a little. “So we did things out of order. I don’t think that’s bad. Fall in love and then date? That might actually be better than the traditional way.”

“Yeah, it might.”

“Was there anything else you wanted to tell me?”

I smile. “Just that I’d really like you to kiss me.”

He kisses me, which leads to more kissing, and eventually his bed, where we stay for the rest of the night.

I’m no longer worried about what will happen if we break up. Because I really don’t think we will. I have a feeling Jace and I are going to be together longer than the time we’ll live here. Maybe forever.