Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Deacon

F ather’s bedroom on Halla was sparse compared to what he had on Orhon. Just a bed, some lamps, and a window, all in blues and grays to match the rest of his home. No décor. No style to speak of. The setting suns had dimmed the light coming through his window. Father had pulled me into his bedroom to speak privately.

“Take a seat,” he gestured to his bed.

“What is it, Father?”

“Where do I begin?” He started to pace. “I have not seen you in over a month. You return, united to a human , and with my pregnant mistress. Jac, a man who is like a son to me, almost dies protecting your consort, and I had to kill a conduit who I have known her entire life to save him. Today has been long and draining, so tell me truth. What is happening?”

I flopped backward across his bed. It felt wonderful to lay flat and relax for a moment. I didn’t want to move. I was so damned tired after everything. “It’s all a part of my plan. With the exception of Predict—I hadn’t seen that coming. Apparently, the conduits have grown paranoid after their murders, and in addition to building their authority here on Halla, they are afraid of some special conduit.”

“They have been particularly on edge, as of late,” father agreed. “Predict assured me we were not under any suspicions with them. She knew the Ladrangs are true to the faith. That is why she had been around so much lately. To make sure none of the other conduits bothered me.”

“Was she going around to homes of other faithful ghosts?”

He thought for a moment, then nodded. “I believe so.”

Good. That means she most likely did not know about Sarah, and her being a conduit, before we arrived . “I don’t—”

“No. No more of your questions,” father interrupted impatiently. “Tell me why Predict is dead. What is this about a special conduit? What does your consort have to do with that?”

“Her name is Sarah—”

“Yes, I know that—”

“Hollinger,” I finished for him.

My father’s eyes widened in shock. “ That Sarah? The conduit?”

I nodded solemnly. “I found your notes on her and her family. I brought her here to help Silence and you raise your child— children , now—and help to manage the other ghosts. A living conduit can do what no dead conduit can.”

“You think she is the special conduit, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

“That would explain why Predict attacked her, would it not?” I replied in a wry tone. “Predict was smart, measured. Careful. She was not the sort of person to make rash decisions.”

Father agreed. “It is the only thing that makes sense. But how would Predict have known?”

“I am not sure. Perhaps it is part of being a conduit—maybe they know each other on sight. All I know is, if Predict knew it, the others will, too, at some point. Jacaranda is trying to put together some kind of security for Sarah—”

“I will not allow harm to come to Sarah, Deacon,” my father vowed.

I smiled. “I thank you, but you are one man, and a ghost. One with new children. Sarah is supposed to be here to help you —not the other way around. You and Silence need to focus on your children. Sarah needs to focus on the ghosts. So I will take care of security.”

“Deacon, I am your father,” he huffed. “You will listen to me—”

I laughed angrily. “ You are the man who screwed over my entire family. I am doing what I can to keep our family together, despite all of that. You do not get to make demands of me anymore. That part of our relationship is over, Father. I respect you for what you have done in the past, but do not push me on this. We are doing this my way.”

My father stiffened at my tone. “You dare speak to me in this manner?”

“You took my future from me,” I hissed, fury lowering my voice.

His jaw tightened in anger. But then it loosened as he took a breath. “You are right, of course. I…my love for Silence is the greatest shame of my life. Yet, I feel none for it. Nothing could ever change my love for her. I regret taking your future, my son. For this, I apologize. I thank you for everything you have done for her and for our family.”

I nodded once, gratified. “You are welcome. Once security has been settled here on Halla, I will go back to Orhon and pretend like nothing has happened for a time. I had Sarah mog to meet the family—they know her as Star Qvia from Yesanol. When I come to visit here, I will tell them I am going to Yesanol to see her.”

“How is your mother doing?” my father asked.

“You are not watching the family?”

He glanced away. “The single time she prayed to me, she asked me not to watch the family.”

I blew out a deep breath. “That’s rough.”

“It is understandable. In her position. I deserve her disdain.” He glanced my way once more. “So, after you get back to Orhon, what then?”

“I am amassing a group of like-minded people to help me take down the Bateens.”

He closed his eyes in frustration. “Has everyone lost their minds? First Justice, then the conduits, and now my son.”

I had known he would hate my plan. But his disapproval did not change it. “I will not let your murder go unavenged, and I will not stand by and watch that maniac, Justice Bateen, go unchallenged.”

“You think I want that life for you?”

“What you want does not matter anymore.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “My plan is in motion—”

“Nothing you can’t undo—”

“Jac stole Silence from the royal prison on my orders,” I pointed out. “You think I can undo that? And I united with Sarah, a human . There is no going back. There is only going forward!”

He sat next me, and because of his ghostly form, the bed did not move. Father’s voice lowered. “You could stop now, could you not?”

“I have contacted some old friends from the war, Father. They want in. No one is happy on Orhon anymore. Only Bateen loyalists want them to stay in control. Now that Thunder runs Yesanol, they have made things worse for anyone who is not a loyalist. Another war is coming, and this time, I plan to be the one to declare it.”

“I do not want this for you, but I can see it in your eyes—you will not be dissuaded from this course of action.”

I shook my head adamantly. “No, I will not.”

He sighed in resignation. “Then, how can I help?”

“I need you to raise the twins as warriors here on Halla. I will need all the allies I can get. They will be the children of Silence, the people’s most favored princess. That will carry weight.”

My father’s brows furrowed skeptically. “It will be five years before they could be considered warriors of value, Deacon, you know this.”

“Not with Sarah’s help.”

He half-smiled, but there was a hopeful light in his eyes. “You think she can do it?”

“If she is the special conduit they are all afraid of, she most definitely can make that happen.”

“You believe in her that much?” my father asked quietly.

I nodded. “I do. She is unlike any other person I have ever known, Father.”

“Very well, then.” He smiled. “I am glad for you, son.”

My insides twisted, but I needed to tell him something else. “There is more. Sarah is not the only person with whom I am involved.”

He frowned. “But you are united to her.”

“Yes, but—”

“Son, do not make the same mistakes I did,” he said, looking anguished for the sins he’d committed, and the devastating aftermath of those choices.

“I am not. Sarah knows.”

He paused. “She has given you her permission to take on another lover?”

“She participates.”

“I am not sure I need to know more than that, son—”

“It’s Jac.”

His mouth dropped open in shock before he could catch it. “Are you—you two are—again? Like when you were young?”

I nodded. “We are. Sarah has welcomed him into our union.”

“That is a very traditional idea of a relationship,” he mused. “But then you are of a different generation and far more open minded about such things.”

“You’re not upset by this?” I asked, wanting to be sure.

“Are you happy, son?”

“As far as my relationships go, yes. I am ecstatic.”

He nodded. “Then I am happy for you. Not upset. Your happiness is what matters here. And, if I am to be honest with you, I may have a twinge of jealousy on the matter.”

“Why is that?”

“Your mother never would have given her permission for me and Silence to be together, and certainly never would have joined us.”

I smiled uncomfortably, trying to keep the image of the three of them together from my mind. “No, she wouldn’t have. And I am sorry she asked you to stay away from the family, Father.”

“Speaking of the family, I think we should go see everyone out there,” he said, indicating outside of his bedroom. “Come with me.”

I followed him through the house until we found Silence asleep with the twins on the guest bed. He reached for them instinctively but could not touch or pick his new children up.

The weight in my chest was crushing, but I pushed it aside, or I would cry for his plight. “I have them, Father.” I bent and picked up my new sister and brother, one on each arm. They were so warm, tiny heartbeats thundering in their little chests. It was a comfort to hold them.

“Why don’t you and Silence get some rest?” I suggested. “I’ll take them for a while.”

“You are a good son, Deacon. I could use the rest.” He laid next to Silence, but she didn’t seem to notice. Birth must have exhausted her, after everything else she has been through .

I took the children with me to the parlor, where I found Sarah chatting with Camp Deo. Briefly, I wondered where Lanai Dea was, since I had not seen her in so long. But I trusted my android would return soon.

Sarah smiled languidly when she saw me. “Hey, you.”

“Greetings. Would you like to take one of these? They are very warm, and I seem to be sweating just by holding them.”

She giggled and began to stand, but Camp Deo was on her feet first, arms out. “Oh, may I?”

“Sure.” I was surprised the android wanted to hold one. When she held the baby, there was such a strange look on her metallic face that I was almost worried. “Camp Deo, are you in need of repairs?”

“No, I’m fine,” she said softly, her eyes on the baby. “I don’t see babies often, Deacon. But I enjoy them.” She sat on the sofa with Sarah once more.

I joined them on the other side of Sarah, and she took turns smiling longingly at both of the children and watching them. “You want him?” I asked her, indicating the baby in my arms.

“Okay,” she said, as she took my brother, then laughed as the bundle settled into her arms. “Heavier than he looks.”

Camp Deo said, “Ladrians have a considerably higher muscle mass ratio than humans. This includes the newborns.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed,” Sarah said with a smile. She looked so natural with my brother—like she was made to be around babies.

“I’ve spoken to my father about us,” I said in a quiet voice. “And Jac.”

Her eyes went wide and a pink flush stole across her cheeks. “You told him about the three of us?” she squeaked.

“Yes, he—”

“I can’t believe you did that! I thought what we—” She stopped herself and looked to Camp Deo, before returning her gaze to mine and lowering her voice. “That is private.”

“Why would it be private?”

Her lashes fluttered rapidly in embarrassment. “Because it’s…it’s kinky.”

Smiling, I reached out and stroked a finger along her soft cheek. “For us, it is not. It is the old way.”

Confusion chased across her expression. “Huh?”

I explained, “Unions, in their original form, were meant to increase the population in ways that did not disrupt society. Often, they contained whole groups of Ladrians—this is how many of the classed families began, my own included. To have more than one partner is to be, as my father put it, old-fashioned.”

She rapidly blinked, seemingly unsure of what to say, at first. “We’re old-fashioned , by including Jac into our union?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Which brings me to my next question,” I said, shifting my gaze to the little one cuddled in so naturally in her arms. “When do you want to have babies?”

She laughed. “I have no idea. I know you said there are other humans on Orhon, so would we have to go back to Earth to get sperm, or would we make some kind of a deal with a human here? I’m not sure how all that would work.”

I frowned at her. “Why would we use human sperm?”

“Because…we’re two different species, Deacon. Different species can’t make babies together.” She looked at me as though I was the confused one.

“You…” I tried to sort out how to tell her the truth. “You do not know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“Give my brother to Camp Deo. We need to talk.”

“Those are four words no woman likes to hear, Deacon.”

I acknowledged her statement with a nod. “That may be truth, but we do need to speak about this, and I may be saying many more words you do not want to hear soon, so give my brother to her.”

Sarah looked at me warily, then passed the baby to the android.

“Come with me.” I took her hand and led her outside into the night. The fresh air helped to clear my head for what was to come, but I was also very aware of how alone we were. “Where are the others?”

“On the ships, I think. Why?”

“Good. I want privacy for this.”

“For what?” She shifted anxiously. “You’re making me nervous, Deacon.”

I sighed. “I do not mean to. It is only that this is important.”

“Then tell me already,” she insisted.

I exhaled a deep breath. “If you believe that we could not have children together, then that tells me you do not know who you are.”

She frowned in the soft moonlight. “What are you talking about?”

I struggled to figure out a way into the conversation. “Your power as a conduit…where do you think you get that from?”

She thought for a moment, seemingly struggling with the answer to the question. “I—umm, I honestly don’t know.”

“What did your mother tell you about your father?” I prompted.

She huffed. “She would never talk about him. Our mother told us he was the love of her life, but it was too painful to speak about him.” Then, she frowned. “Why? Do you think that’s where I got the power to see ghosts?”

“I know it is,” I said with absolute certainty. “You have that power, because members of your father’s family have that power.”

“You know who my father is?” Her voice was small and wondrous.

Everything in me felt loose and unstable, as if I were the one getting bad news, instead of the one delivering it. “Your father is Volatile Bateen. Justice’s brother.”

She gasped in horror, and both her hands covered her mouth as she whispered, “ What ?”

This time, I knew she had heard me and understood what it meant, but she still asked what, as though she had not. It was a peculiar reflex of my consort. Instead of repeating myself this time or asking why she tended to doubt me, I merely nodded. I wanted to give her the space and time she needed to process the information.

“How…how is that even possible?” she asked in shock.

“I…” Does she really mean how? “You are well-versed in the how of this, Sarah. Your talent for sex—”

“No, how did they meet ?” she interrupted me.

“It is unclear,” I admitted. “But Volatile often travelled to Earth for many years—he was a merchant before the war. After the war, he has lived alone on an island in the Diamond Sea of Orhon.”

“My father is alive? And he never came to see me or my sisters?” She sounded sad and angry. “Not even after our mother died?”

“I cannot speak for him, Sarah. I know not his reasons.”

She stepped forward, and I thought she might strike me in fury. It is fine, I can take it. Whatever she needs to do right now to deal with this new information. But she hurled her arms around me and buried her face against my abdomen, instead. She sobbed against me, so I gently held her. I cradled her to me and petted her soft hair. She seemed so exhausted by everything, and I knew I was, too.

After a while, she sniffled and looked up at me, her wet eyes so luminous in the moonlight. “That makes me half-Ladrian, doesn’t it?”

I nodded and brushed an errant strand of hair away from her face. “This is why you can use a transmogrifier belt. Pure humans cannot, though we have been working on that technology.”

“Why…why don’t my sisters see ghosts too?”

“I do not know,” I replied honestly. “Being a conduit is a rare gift, even among pure Ladrians. But Volatile’s sister Constance had it. She was beloved by all, much the way Silence is now. Until the day Constance was murdered, she was a wonderful—”

Sarah gasped. “She was murdered?”

I set out to explain the situation. “Her murder was perpetrated by Justice and blamed on a general. The general was executed, his body burned here on Halla, and his ghost was murdered by another right after it emerged from his body, so that he would be born to the ether, taking Justice’s secret with him.”

“The fuck?”

“What can I say?” I sighed. “Justice is thorough.”