33. Felix

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

felix

So much for my plan to ask Henry and Hazel to move in with me. That was all blown to hell by Maggie’s visit. She gave up her rights to Hazel.

Not that she would have ever had a chance at custody, but it still feels so damn permanent.

Henry is on autopilot now, the aftereffects of Maggie coming here still touching him. Making him numb.

I don’t know how to help him. How to make it better.

How can a mother do that?

I’m trying not to judge her. I know she’s had a horrible past. I know she’s struggling, but giving her kid away?

I guess it happens every day. “You hungry?”

Henry turns to me, holding Hazel on his lap and shaking his head. “No. Thank you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I hedge carefully.

He turns his head to look at me, and I’m sure he’s going to stay silent, but he doesn’t. “Hazel is going to know someday her mother didn’t want her.”

“But she has an amazing father who does,” I say, and I’m sure it’s not helpful at all, but it’s all I’ve got.

“I feel like a shithead for talking her into having Hazel, but it feels like she had a plan. Like she knew then what she was doing.”

“I think she did.” I move closer to him, laying my head on his shoulder. “I think she loved you the best she could. And I think she loves Hazel but doesn’t know how to do it.”

“Her parents were awful. She was so afraid of being like them. But even now, I know she wouldn’t have been.”

“Yeah, can’t argue that. A mother who doesn’t care wouldn’t do that.”

“Give her up?” he asks confused.

“She made sure she was in good hands. And that she wouldn’t bounce between her and you or the system,” I say as I come to the realization that Maggie was doing her best to protect her daughter, whether she realized it or not.

“I would have tried to make it work.”

“And she knows that,” I say and kiss his temple.

He gives me a sad smile, and then he brushes a kiss against my lips as Hazel leans back against him, her little eyes slowly closing.

“Happy birthday, baby girl,” I whisper and kiss the top of her head.

Her eyes close, and I lean against Henry. He turns his head, his lips brushing against my ear. “When are you going to ask us to move in with you?”

He surprises me, and I lift up to look at him, a smile playing on my lips. “Really? You know I was going to do that?”

He laughs, pulling me to his side with his free hand. “You’re anything but subtle. I’ve seen you looking at houses on your phone a lot lately.”

“I didn’t think bringing it up today would be a good idea,” I answer honestly. I was sure he wouldn’t be in the mood to talk about it after Maggie being here.

“Ask me,” he whispers softly, and I look into his eyes, seeing nothing but love.

“Will you and Hazel move in with me? We can find a place together or move into my—” His lips cut off my words as they press against mine, and he nods his head.

“We’d love to.” He smiles and kisses me again. “Maybe we’ll be able to actually fool around in a bed for once.”

I grin, thinking about that. In our own bed. “You really want this?” I ask seriously because it’s been an emotional day.

“I want you. I know I’m fucked up. That I have a messed-up past—” This time it’s me cutting him off with a firm press of my mouth against his because his past doesn’t matter to me.

All that matters to me is that Hazel and Henry are in my life because of that past. Because of his relationship with Maggie. And I want nothing but peace for that woman too. I hope she can find it.

“I love you,” I breathe.

“I love you. And I can’t wait to officially have a home with you.”

“I’ll never leave you,” I say, knowing he needs me to confirm it, and I’ll do it over and over again until he believes me.

“I know,” he says easily as he kisses me softly, and I can feel it.

That trust that’s still there.

The trust that’s never going to leave.