Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Hook

With every step into the Underworld, Tink’s tension rises. With every step, I become more fluid, more relaxed. It’s easier to respond to a threat when you’re not locked in place; a lesson I learned the hard way from my old man a very long time ago.

Meg meets us in the bar. I didn’t know what to expect when she called Tink here and had my wife require my presence as well. Pride, maybe. The kind of arrogance I have in spades. None of it is in evidence. Meg looks tired. Really fucking tired.

She glances at me and zeroes in on Tink. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Tink shifts closer to me. I don’t think she realizes she’s made the move.

Meg sure as shit notices and narrows her eyes. But instead of commenting, she responds to Tink’s question. “Our security was bypassed. They wouldn’t have been able to do any damage on the upper floors, but we’d put all your packed possessions in the storage room off the garage.”

Understanding hits me. The shit we intended to pick up this week. All of Tink’s shit, aside from the stuff she has stashed at our place. I press my hand to the small of her back, the only support I’m sure she’ll allow. “How bad?”

“They destroyed everything.” Fury and sorrow comes off Meg in waves. Her hands clench and unclench, and she holds herself just as still as Tink does; as if she wants to offer comfort but knows it won’t be accepted. “I’m so sorry. We’re working on finding the responsible party, but—”

“There’s no need.” Tink takes a shuddering breath. She’s shutting down, tucking herself behind her massive walls, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but a curious blankness I still sometimes see in my nightmares. She hasn’t worn this expression since she was still trapped under Peter’s thumb. “It was Peter.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I do know that, Meg.” A thread of anger in her voice, but she shuts it down immediately. “He’ll come at me in any way he’s able to. Since I haven’t been available as a target, he went after something that matters to me.”

I stroke my hand up her back. I can’t help it. She’s shuddering the tiniest bit, the only indication of how deep this cut goes. “We’ll replace it.”

“Don’t be absurd. That’s five years’ worth of investment. Not to mention the commissions I’m going to lose because of the works in progress lost.” She shakes her head. “No, this is a blow I won’t recover from.”

Meg glances at me. “It happened on Underworld property. We failed to protect it, so we will replace it.”

“Some of those fabrics were custom dyed. It’s impossible.”

“Tink.” I put enough snap in my voice that she finally looks at me. The emptiness in her eyes scares me more than anything to date. It’s exactly how she looked at me when I desperately offered her an escape. I keep my tone abrasive. “Stop being such a fucking martyr and accept help that’s being offered. This is important to you. We want to help, so let us help.”

“It’s my problem.”

Meg makes a sound perilously close to a snarl, but I’m already talking. “That’s bullshit and you know it. We’re married, remember? What’s yours is mine, baby, and that means he stole from me, too. That can’t stand, so sit down, shut up, and make a list of what you need to fix it.”

Anger flickers across her face, shattering the numbness into a thousand pieces. “Fuck off.”

“Get off your ass and make me.”

“Children,” Meg murmured.

I hold up a hand without looking at her, keeping my focus on Tink. “Don’t test me, Tink. I’ll have you on your knees and choking on my cock before you can finish the next sentence.”

She presses a single finger to the center of my chest. “Try it and see what happens.” She bares her teeth at me. “I’m a biter when I’m riled.”

I’m aware of Meg watching us closely, ready to step in. I could tell her that her interference is unnecessary, but I won’t waste my breath. In the end, I don’t give a shit about Meg’s comfort. I only care about Tink’s.

I can bring her back from the edge. We’ve already started, though I’m certain she’ll slide right back into that numbness the second her mind wanders. Dominating her now will help, but it’s a Band-Aid, and it also runs the risk of her checking out completely. No, inciting her to fight me is just as likely to harm as it is to make anything better.

“Give us a minute, Meg.” I still don’t look over.

Meg hesitates but finally takes a step back. “Mind the cameras.” With the reminder that someone will be watching should things get out of hand, she turns and leaves the room.

I barely wait for the door to swing shut to pull Tink into a hug.

Tink goes rigid. “What the hell are you doing?”

“It’s called comfort.” I don’t let go. She’s not fighting me; she’s fighting herself. I lean down a little and speak directly in her ear. “No one’s here but us. You don’t have to be strong right now. Let it out.”

“Fuck … you.” The last word comes out as a sob. Then her arms are around my waist, and she buries her face against my chest.

I hold her as she shakes. She was right before. There’s no fixing this completely, even if everything is replaced. What Peter did is a violation as surely as if he reached across the distance and struck her. He’d made her feel unsafe.

She fists the fabric of my shirt at my back. “I hate him.”

“I know, beautiful girl.” I hug her tighter. I might not always say the right thing, but I sure as shit know how to comfort with my body, even when fucking isn’t on the table. Sex isn’t what she needs right now. She needs someone to lean on, just a little bit, until she gets her feet under her again.

Heaven help Peter once that happens.

I press a kiss to her temple. “We’re moving up the timetable.”

“I didn’t know there was a timetable,” she says against my chest.

“Give me a little credit.”

She hesitates and gives a tiny, pathetic chuckle. “A tiny smidge of credit.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me, but I keep talking. “You can stay here while I handle this.”

“What?”

I roll right over her protest. “You’re safe in my home, but you’re safer here.”

“Did you miss the part where Peter got to my things here?” She clings tighter to me, still twisting the fabric of my shirt. “You asshole, you can’t honestly think I’m safer here than I am with you.”

“We both know that Hades and Allecto are taking this breach personally and will do everything in their considerable power to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.” Peter wouldn’t risk coming here again. That I’m sure of.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

I force myself to take her shoulders and nudge her back a step so she can meet my eyes. “No, Tink. I don’t think you’re safer anywhere more than you are with me. Because I know for a fact that I’ll do whatever it takes, no matter the cost, to keep you that way.” I should have stopped ten minutes ago, should have had the control to keep my mouth shut when she’s already reeling from me dropping “I love you” this morning. Too fucking much, too fucking soon. I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to this woman.

She licks her lips. “You really meant it this morning, didn’t you?”

No need to ask for clarification. She’s thinking about the same thing I am. “Yes.”

“Wow.” She huffs out a sad little laugh. “We are so fucked up.”

I can’t exactly argue the point, but … “What makes you say that?”

“You insist on seeing parts of me I’m not willing to show anyone, on seeing me as a whole. And no matter how often or hard I push you away, you bounce back like a goddamn frisbee.”

“Pretty sure frisbees don’t bounce.”

“I’m not finished.” She reaches up and traces her thumb along my bottom lip, pausing at my piercing before continuing. “I should want a normal person. Maybe not the white picket fence dream, but stability. Someone who isn’t a criminal.”

“Probably.” I can’t argue this either. This woman deserves the world. I know I’m not good enough for her. I made my peace with that a long time ago. “But that normal person isn’t going to understand you the way I do.”

“That’s the crux, isn’t it?” Her smile turns bittersweet. “When the wolf comes howling for blood at my door, you’re the one who will meet him there with an ax. Only a monster can kill a monster.”

It stings that she recognizes me as a monster, even if it’s the truth. “Yes.”

I won’t say I wish there was another way. It’s worthless to wish on stars. The only thing that matters is action, and I can’t bring down Peter through legitimate means. I’ve tried. Fuck, I tried. He had too many important people on his payroll, people he ensured looked the other way when it came to both his illegal activities and his abusive treatment of the people under his control. The only thing those assholes respect is power and money, so I ensured I had both when I went to take over paying them to look the other way. It makes me no better than he is, but it’s a burden I’ll have to live with.

I am a monster.

Tink nods. “There’s no way out but through.”

The same conclusion I came to years ago. “Yes.” I have to ask, though. I may want her chained to me in every way I can, but I don’t want Tink broken. That was never the plan. “If you need to go, I’ll find another way.”

She looks at me, really looks at me. “So you’re going to, what, put me on a train and send me out of Carver City? Maybe give me a pat on the ass for the good fucking in the meantime?” She snorts. “Please. We both know that’s not an option.”

“Do we?” Why do I keep asking her this shit? I should take her words at face value, but that’s the fucking problem. I tied her to me, but I want her to want to be there. “I have enough money to get you a fresh start.”

She gives a sad little smile. “Haven’t you figured it out yet, Jameson? There is no fresh start for me. Wherever I go, whoever I interact with, I’m still me. I’m still hauling around all the scars from my past.” She presses her fingers to my lips when I start to argue. “I’m staying. Stop wasting time trying to convince me to go and focus all that impressive will of yours on fulfilling your promise to provide me Peter’s head on a platter. The sooner the better.”

She’s still raw, still shaking, but she doesn’t look lost any more. I smile against her fingers. “As my lady commands.”