Chapter Eight

C HAPTER E IGHT

I close my bedroom door and turn just in time to see Freya rise from my bed. I pause beside the entrance, staring at her as if the apology I intended to say earlier will once again manifest in me.

Freya picks at her lower lips, making them bleed, and an uneasy gust of air appears to encircle us as her gaze is drawn to the ground. ‘Where is Tibith?’

‘With Link,’ I say curtly. As soon as my outing with Hira ended, I searched for Link, knowing he wouldn’t ask questions about where I was headed in such a rush.

‘Right, I—’ She rubs the back of her neck, and I hate this. I hate how awkward we are.

I walk towards her, but she backs away as if she is afraid. Shock guts me like a twisted blade as I jerk to a stop. ‘Freya, you know I wouldn’t hurt you, right? With everything that happened—’

‘I am not scared that you will hurt me; I am scared I will hurt you again.’

The chamber fills with silence.

She blames herself when it is not her fault.

I shake my head as a sigh escapes her lips in an almost sob, and she runs her hands through her tight curls. She stops me before I can speak.

‘I should have told you about Gus. Or at least forced him to say something.’ She paces the room. ‘I wanted to do the right thing, but the more I kept it from you, the more everything became worse.’

My eyes track her nervous movements. The jittering of her fingers as she plays with them and the constant lip-picking. I had been the one to snap at her, to argue, and to egg her on until she used her magic on me. It shouldn’t be her apologising, and it shouldn’t be her carrying the weight of it all.

‘You didn’t do anything wrong, Freya,’ I whisper. ‘I am the one who keeps dragging you all down with me.’

She shakes her head. ‘That is not true, Nara—’

‘When I was five,’ I cut her off, and a chuckle escapes my lips as I recall the faintest of memories, ‘my only friends were my brothers. Then, when I turned six, I met someone who I never thought would be the man I am in love with today.’ I let out a deep breath. ‘But when I was twenty-one, I met the greatest person that I could finally call my best friend. Someone who, despite my lack of social skills, still cared for me and fought by my side even when she wasn’t sure of the outcome.’

Freya gives me a look on the verge of tearing up.

‘You couldn’t hurt me,’ I say, ‘even if you tried. I only hope that you can forgive me for how I have acted all these months.’ And if she didn’t want to, I would not blame her; I have been too hard to bear sometimes. Not even I can stand myself at times.

‘Solaris.’ She sniffles, wiping her nose before she rushes towards me and wraps me in her arms. ‘Why must you always make me cry?’

Her words have me chuckling. ‘I am hoping it is for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.’

She grabs me by the elbows and looks into my eyes as we part. Her cheeks are tear-stained. ‘You do know you aren’t dragging any of us down, though, right?’ I opt to stay quiet, and she lets go of me. ‘Nara, you quite literally have the world’s weight on your shoulders. You’re Solaris, for—’

‘What if I don’t want to be Solaris?’ I murmur a little too fast. Freya frowns, and I sigh, lifting my gaze to the ceiling as I laugh and shake my head. ‘I should have never been chosen.’ I look back down. ‘I am not you , Freya. I am someone who used to trap animals for a living. How can it be that I am the world’s . . .’ I struggle to find the word before I spit out in shock, ‘saviour?’

She stares at me. Usually, I can guess what she is feeling or thinking, but right now, she is giving me nothing to help me figure her out.

Her gaze drops to the floor as she whispers, ‘Used to.’

‘What?’

‘You said you used to trap animals.’ Hazel eyes flash up. ‘That is the past. It is no longer who you are.’ She pauses for a few seconds, her lips pursed in thought. ‘But I also think you are too scared to let go of that.’

The space between my brows grows smaller as they furrow, and the back of my eyes sting. Despite it likely being the witch side of her, it is also the first time in a while that someone has read between the lines of the chaotic thoughts running through my mind and questioned them further.

And yes, I might be scared to let go of my past.

It was easier then.

‘Before . . . the only people I used to care for were my brothers,’ I say, a knot forming inside my throat. ‘Now there is so much at stake, I fear I won’t be able to protect everyone.’

Freya takes my hand. ‘And that is okay.’ Her smile is so kind and forgiving of the world. ‘You have to remember, Nara, we can protect ourselves. Your brothers? They’ve handled everything on their own while you were gone. Idris spent so much of his time teaching self-defence to younglings; Illias trained himself with no help; Link is no longer afraid of anything; Rydan matured – to an extent; and Iker? He took on the task of teaching children how to read and write. He even taught them to build traps for any intruders.’ She nudges my arm playfully. ‘Like his sister used to.’

I make a tragic little noise at the back of my throat as I hold back a cry and smile. Seldom have I ever felt such pride, and knowing that while I have been away, they have all adapted to their new lifestyle without me makes my chest tighten.

Freya touches my cheek. ‘Solaris or not, you are still the bravest soul I have ever met, and I am with you even if you wish to venture off into the wild again or face Aurum head-on.’

It’s hard to stop myself from pulling her into an embrace again.

‘Do you truly mean all that?’ I ask, and the echo of her vibrating laugh makes me smile.

‘Of course I do.’

I rear back, a plan already forming in the depths of my mind. ‘Then would you be willing to help me tonight?’

Freya’s mouth is half open as she frowns. She stutters, ‘Well, I didn’t think you would ask for my help this soon, but I suppose I should have seen it coming.’ She sighs. ‘What is it you need help with?’

‘Going back to Emberwell.’

She blinks, her face the perfect statue of a shocked person. ‘I am assuming this will involve getting Darius back.’

I nod and lick my lips. ‘I know that everyone says we should wait, that if we can figure out a spell to undo Darius’s bond with Aurum, then maybe it will be safer. But I can’t do this any longer, Freya. The more time he spends there, the more I feel that I am risking losing him altogether.’

She takes my words into consideration. Freya is used to this side of me. She is no stranger, after all, to what occurred back in Emberwell. ‘I—’ She takes another moment to think. ‘Of course—’

The second she is about to finish her sentence, the door to my chamber opens wide with a stumbling Link as he holds Tibith in his arms and Rydan grinning from ear to ear.

‘You can count us in, Ambrose.’ Rydan puffs out his chest, looking overly excited for a mission I have yet to describe.

My eyes narrow at the three of them. ‘Were you eavesdropping behind the door?’

Tibith nods as Link shakes his head, and Rydan purses his lips.

‘Define eavesdropping?’ Rydan drawls.

‘Listening in on one’s conversation when you shouldn’t,’ Freya deadpans, causing Link to try to object by raising a finger.

‘I would just like to state I was not part of this—’

‘Then why did you hush me when they were speaking?’ Rydan hisses at him.

‘Because otherwise, they would have heard us.’

‘What does Illias see in you—’

Link immediately takes a defensive stance towards Rydan, and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

‘Must you both argue right now?’ I cut them off mid-argument and set my shoulders back as I exhale. ‘You know I did not want Tibith to be involved in any of this.’

Link bows his head at that reprimand, and Tibith jumps out of his arms. He trots towards me on all fours before standing on two legs.

‘Oh, please let me come, Miss Nara! P-please, please, please!’

I sigh, disappointed at how difficult it is to deny him anything.

‘I can help get Darry back!’ He rolls around the room faster than the human eye can detect. ‘And I am g-good at missions, Miss Nara; remember when I helped Darry trick you!’

My smile softens at his enthusiasm. It wasn’t so long ago that he did, in fact, aid Darius in one-upping me at the jeweller’s shop. ‘I do.’

His feather-like hair flutters as he squeaks in delight, and I turn to Freya. She looks at me cautiously. Is she wondering when she will catch a break from my schemes?

The answer is likely never .

‘There is something I need you to do.’ My stare tells her everything.

I have a plan.

One that might not work, but one that I do hope does.

‘Hira mentioned you, Leira and Aelle have managed to locate the Elemental Stones.’

Freya nods fervently.

Good. ‘I will need you to scry for them one more time. This time deeper.’

Another nod comes from Freya as she mentions she will need to borrow the scrying mirror from her aunt and a dark room so that she can concentrate on using her magic.

Everyone else then joins in to listen as I draw out the details and see Link nod confidently as I mention his and Rydan’s involvement. I almost burst with pride at how much Link has changed since his first days as a Venator trainee.

‘You know, Ambrose,’ Rydan says after I finish and everyone starts to leave except for him and I. He leans against the doorway and tucks his hands into his pockets. ‘If we make it out of this alive, I think I deserve a kiss at least.’

His grin does not crack.

I eye him up and down, knowing this is just a farce because he still won’t speak to Lorcan. ‘You have a stain on your shirt.’

His brows crease together as he glances at his clothes and I smile, feeling like myself again as I waltz out the door.