Chapter Nine

C HAPTER N INE

A few hours later, I’m rushing Freya to the garrison where the shifters reside. The night is brisk, chilly and wet, but it makes no difference to the dragons, who are rolling in mud and grass outside the doors. Freya quickly grabs on to my arm as we stand before Fernah, an Ardenti dragon and mother to both Zuru and Naryx. She is the smallest of the adults we have here in hiding but large enough to ride.

As she lifts her head, a rumbling purr vibrates from her fire-red chest, and the most beautiful golden eyes meet mine.

‘It’s as if she knows you plan to ride her,’ Freya whispers, and I chuckle while hitching the saddle Idris made for me up against my chest.

‘She knows I have a soft spot for her.’ I walk to Fernah’s side and she lets me strap on the leather harness without so much as a protest. As I step back, I let her rise and my head falls in line with her chest.

‘You have a soft spot for every dragon,’ Freya says, and we both laugh, knowing that she is absolutely right. However, our high spirits soon plummet as someone calls out to me.

Freya’s eyes widen as I mutter under my breath and turn to where Gus stands. His eyes shift from Fernah to Freya, then lastly to me.

‘Gus!’ Freya squeaks. ‘We—we were just seeing if Idris’s gift to Nara fits Fernah.’ An awkward silence falls as Gus stares at us, causing Freya to fidget with her fingers. I put my hand over hers and stop her.

‘Is there something you need?’ I keep my tone cold and distant. His gaze darts to mine, and the mood around us shifts to something worse than when I found out who he was to Darius.

Guilt.

It is not enough, though. Not enough for me to forgive him for keeping this secret for so long.

‘We need to talk, Nara.’

‘No, we don’t.’

He doesn’t look like he will leave without being allowed to explain.

‘Nara.’ Freya tugs my arm, and I drag my stare from Gus to meet hers. ‘It is all right. You need this.’

My lips twist and I frown before I open my mouth to tell her how I do not, but she raises her brows at me as if I have no choice.

‘I will wait by the stables in case the boys come through there,’ she whispers and walks past Gus, offering him a not-so-nonchalant smile that I hope he does not catch on to.

Luckily, it seems he doesn’t as he rests his hands inside his trouser pockets and strolls slowly towards Fernah and me. He turns to face her, a wistful smile pulling at his lips as Fernah drops her head and purrs in obedience.

When Gus starts to speak, I don’t know what to make of it. ‘Darius was there when Fernah’s whelps first hatched.’

The statement doesn’t surprise me. In fact, it warms me to know Darius witnessed something so miraculous.

I move closer to Fernah and place my hand over her leathery skin as she breathes in and out. ‘What was it like?’ Even though I did not want to speak with Gus, he has quickly reeled me in by telling me this.

He chuckles, looking over at where I am standing. ‘As if I was with his mother again.’

My gaze steadies on Fernah. Her head swiftly lowers so her eye connects with mine. The vertical slit of her pupil looks as if it expands, hiding most of the gold colour. To think I once believed in ending these beautiful creatures. I still hate myself for the past me that sought out revenge on them.

‘When I first met Aurelia,’ Gus says, ‘I didn’t know she was a Rivernorth.’

I can’t help but let my eyes stray from Fernah to Gus. He is shaking his head, looking far off into the distance.

‘I used to stay away from anything royal back then,’ he continues. ‘So, when I heard that Sarilyn had ended the Rivernorth reign, it didn’t matter to me. What mattered was that the dragons were now in danger under her rule. I formed alliances with other shifters, saved as many of our kind as I could, and when the den was built, Aurelia stumbled into my path.’ As he tips his head back and smiles, all I see is Darius. ‘She was ethereal and passionate about all the dragons. Although she had quite a temper, too. She detested me bossing her around because, according to her, she could take me on quite easily and win.’

‘And did she?’ I’m overcome by my curiosity. Gus’s amused gaze drops to look at me.

His smile widens. ‘A few times, yes.’

Humour swirls in my chest, and I blow out a rushed breath through my nose, wishing I could have had the chance to meet Aurelia.

‘Why did you leave Darius?’ I ask the question that truly matters.

The smile on Gus’s face vanishes. He looks at the ground and rubs a thumb across his bearded chin. ‘I didn’t. When I found out Aurelia was who she was, all I could focus on was protecting her from Sarilyn. It became my sole purpose to the point she felt suffocated. She thought by being with me, she would eventually drag me down with her problems, and when she became pregnant with Darius, I was ecstatic. But I knew this meant a long life of sheltering him, too. And a month after Darius was born, I found she had left the den with the plan of handing Darius to a few witches she knew, but . . . I guess she never followed up with that idea.’

Witches . . . Could they be the same witches who removed Darius’s Rivernorth symbol on his hands?

I look at the ground and swipe my foot across the cut grass. I wonder what would have happened if Darius had stayed with the witches instead of his mother. Perhaps he would not have witnessed her death, and perhaps he would not have suffered so much at such a young age.

‘I looked for her for so long, wishing she would just come back to me, but . . .’ Gus never finishes that sentence, so I glance up at him.

‘And then you found Darius years later,’ I say, remembering when I first learned that Gus wanted Darius to join him.

A chuckle forms at the base of Gus’s throat as he smiles fondly. ‘I knew he was my son with just one look.’

‘Then why didn’t you tell him?’ Why didn’t you try?

He shakes his head, a sombre expression taking hold of his features. ‘Because he already hated his father by then. He thought I abandoned him, and I guess it was easier to lie than tell the truth.’

‘So you asked him to join you instead.’ My voice sounds more accusatory than I intended it to be. I watch as he visibly swallows the guilt down his throat and nods.

‘I did, and even when he rejected my proposition each time, I didn’t care. I was just glad to have found him.’

‘But Gus, you can’t keep this from him for ever. There will come a day when he finds out, and it will only worsen things.’

He sighs understandably, but I can only say so much. He must be the one to break the news, not me, not Freya, not Leira, only him.

I look over at Fernah, marking her territory against other larger dragons wanting to invade her space. Sighing, I say to Gus after a minute or so, ‘Apparently, you can play the piano.’

There is a note of silence. ‘Since I was a child, I have played. Stopped when Aurelia left.’

‘I heard Darius play once.’ I glance at him. ‘He told me it was all he knew and that it belonged to his father.’

Something glimmers in his eyes, carrying a mixture of humour and melancholy. ‘That was the only piece I ever taught Aurelia. It was my love letter to her before Darius was born.’

And now Darius knows it, thanks to his mother.

I realise I’m smiling, and it is not much, but for the slightest moment, I let that anger I felt over not knowing who Gus was to Darius dissipate. We turn towards the dragons, focusing on them as I cross my arms over my chest to keep the cold from snapping at my fingers.

‘Nara?’ Gus says. ‘On the night of Noctura . . . Darius gave me this.’

I snap my head to the side and watch him dig through his pocket, retrieving an obsidian ring. My eyes narrow as he draws closer and stares at the ring in his palm.

‘When a dragon shifter marries, it is customary that the male makes his bride’s ring using one of his scales.’

My confusion only escalates as he looks up and sticks his hand out for me to take the ring.

‘I don’t know when he made the ring, but that night, he told me to get rid of it,’ he says, and I forget how to do a simple task such as blink. ‘I assume whatever might have happened was enough for him to no longer want it.’

I look at the ring again, then at Gus, as he patiently waits for me to grab it.

Darius had this ring on the night of his birthday, the same day I helped him steal the Rivernorth pendant, and the same day he realised my feelings for Lorcan.

‘Yet you never did throw it away,’ I rasp, trying to soothe my throat as I palm my neck and end up finding the coin necklace Darius fashioned for me to wear in its place.

Gus looks at the coin and watches as I twist and turn it between my fingers. ‘You know,’ he chuckles, ‘he took that coin with him everywhere he went. And whenever I asked him why it was so important to him, he would say it was the only piece of gold worth obsessing over. Then, when he brought you to the den, I figured out what he might have meant by that.’

I tighten my grip on the coin until my hand aches, but I don’t care. I don’t care at all.

‘That is why I kept the ring, Nara,’ Gus says. ‘Because I knew he would regret it otherwise. And I am certain by now all he wishes to do is ask for you to marry him.’

My lips carve into a smile because he had, in fact, asked me to marry him, and if he had asked me a third time, I would have finally said yes. It was our game. A silly one that only ever mattered to us.

‘Thank you,’ I whisper, unconsciously reaching for the ring. Once it is in my grasp, warmth swirls all around me as if Darius were here with me. As my eyes well up with tears, my smile widens and I have trouble focusing on the ring.

‘I should also tell you that I know you plan on heading to Emberwell tonight.’

The grin on my face disappears all too fast as my head snaps up, and panic drowns my features. ‘Wh—’

‘Hira told me about your outing earlier today,’ he cuts me off with a level of calmness as though his reason will make this any better. ‘As soon as she told me you agreed to back down from rushing to get Darius, I knew it was a lie. You never agree to anything lightly.’

I place the ring inside the pocket of my trousers as I shake my head and prepare myself for an excuse. ‘Gus—’ My mouth is like a gaping fish, opening and closing as I try to think of what to say, until someone else’s voice I recognise interrupts us from behind, and Gus’s eyes flicker over my shoulder with a knowing smile.

‘Which is why we also figured you would try to do something like this sooner or later.’

I whirl to find Idris, Illias and Iker standing with their hands in their pockets and sheaths tied to their waists.

Shock doesn’t begin to cover what I feel right now. ‘How did you . . .’

‘I might have told Illias.’

Link.

I look to my right as Link comes to a running stop with Rydan, Tibith and Freya, trying to catch up to them.

‘I’m sorry.’ Link sighs. ‘I just couldn’t keep something like this from him.’

Right, I should have known. Those two are inseparable, and Illias is also known to not keep secrets for long.

‘Well, well, well.’ Rydan claps his hands once as he catches his breath. ‘Would you look at that, I am the only one who kept my word and—’

‘So did I.’ Freya’s eyes roll as Tibith ignores everyone by tipping his head to each side while staring at Fernah.

As Rydan points an accusatory finger at Freya, firing himself up for an argument, I look back at my brothers. I take two steps at a time, swinging my arms back and forth like I used to do whenever I was in trouble with Idris.

‘I’m guessing you’re here to stop me from going through with it,’ I say, and what would usually follow was him doing exactly that and then me disobeying him.

Yet he surprises me when he chuckles softly and says, ‘Not at all.’ My brows knit together. ‘I always give you a hard time when it comes to letting you do what you want, and I know that I struggle to accept the concept of you—’ He pauses with a grimace, twisting his lips as he looks off to the side.

‘Loving,’ Illias aids him, earning himself a glare from Idris and a snort from Iker.

‘ Involving yourself with a shifter,’ Idris corrects him. ‘But if you believe you can get him back from the clutches of Aurum, then I will follow you. We all will.’

I am so used to the assertive look in Idris’s eyes that whenever he accepts me in spite of my antics, I can’t help it; all my emotions tumble into me, knocking me off balance. When I was a child, I used to hate it. I thought he was only trying to teach me a valuable lesson by conceding to my wishes. Now, I savour every moment and every second he does it.

As I embrace my brother, I spot Lorcan standing idly by one of the pillars near the garrison. My shoulders hitch from the tension, and I step away from Idris as Lorcan walks across the grass.

‘Oh, Solaris,’ Rydan mutters. ‘Don’t tell me you are also coming, Lorcy?’

‘He’s not,’ I snap. Truce or not, I still don’t trust Lorcan enough to come with me, let alone to a place where everything went wrong to begin with.

‘Nara.’ Gus’s voice sounds like he is trying to reason with me. It’s as if he is on board with this.

I shake my head up at the sky. This is insane. All of it.

‘You were going to go at this alone, to begin with—’

My eyes narrow as I force my gaze back down to Lorcan and stop him before he can carry on. ‘I had Freya.’

Rydan’s overdramatic gasp doesn’t go unheard as he mutters to Freya how offended he is that I didn’t mention him.

Lorcan sighs, his steps slow and careful not to spook me as he comes forward. ‘I know that city like the back of my hand, Nara. I can help you.’ He looks me straight in the eyes. ‘But I need you to work with me. Just this once.’

He is asking me to do the exact thing I can’t seem to do just yet.

To trust him.

I glance at everyone who is here. They all surround me, waiting to hear what my final decision is. Only Freya has that look in her eye where she knows I’m secretly asking for some guidance. She smiles and tilts her head to reassure me that everything will be fine.

‘What about Hira?’ I peer up at Lorcan. It’s been a matter of hours since I last saw her, but I can already imagine how disappointed she will be with me.

Lorcan rubs the back of his neck, pulling at the lengths of his outgrown hair. ‘She will . . . understand once Darius is safe and with us.’ He doesn’t sound convinced, even to himself, but this is a risk I am going to take regardless of anyone standing in my way.

‘Then . . .’ My attention sweeps to everyone else just as the wind picks up, dragging my hair across my face. ‘If we are to do this, we will need a new plan.’ One that might or might not end in chaos.

Gus steps forward. ‘Where do we start?’