Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-six

Later, after Helen had taken the kids back to where they were all staying at the Coach Inn next door and Miranda had retired too, claiming she needed a good night's sleep because the temperature hadn't been quite right in her room last night, Theo and Lexie sat opposite each other at the table in the corner, their knees nearly touching. The candlelight in the pub was flickering and the crowd was thinning out. They both had half a glass of red left, and Lexie knew she was nursing it, in the hope of dragging out the evening.

"So," Lexie said, tapping her fingernails against the glass. "I'd say Ireland isn't that bad, after all."

Theo laughed as he leaned back against his chair. "The last time I was in Ireland, it was to watch my old girlfriend get married." He said it casually, no hint of hurt, but Lexie's heart spasmed. The last time he was in Ireland—earlier this year, when he'd come back all tense?

"Were you…Was she…?" But she didn't know what exactly she was trying to ask.

"No, it wasn't like that," Theo said, apparently figuring out her nonquestion. "We were dating before I left Ireland—obviously. She was from just outside Dublin too; her mum and my mum ran in the same social circles. My mum was desperate to impress their family, because they had the right sort of background or whatever." He wrinkled his nose. "It's a side of my mum I don't really get, but she is always trying to impress. Anyway. My mum was desperate for it to work between us—but it didn't, which is part of the reason I left."

Twenty-two. He'd left when he was twenty-two, she remembered. It could still be a childhood sweetheart—the one person Theo never got over—but she didn't think so, from the way he was telling the story.

"Anyway, I hadn't seen her in a while, but when I got the invite from Cally—that's her name—I thought I should try to be there."

"You're still friends?"

"Not really. It was nice to see her again in that way it's nice to see an old acquaintance and feel kind of nostalgic, but she only invited me because of the family connection. That's why I went back—not really for her, but to see my parents. And, well, it didn't go well." He sighed. "Sorry. It's just weird. It's a different country, but we're not far away from them now—they're just down the coast." He took a sip of her wine, then looked at her pointedly. "Your turn."

"What?" He just waited, and realization hit her. A truth for a wish. And maybe the red wine could be blamed for this, but she decided to offer him something a bit different. "If I could make a wish right now," she said, keeping her voice low, "it would be that we could come back here again next year. That we could come back to this same pub, dance to music, have a few days away from everything." She felt herself blush as she said it, and she couldn't meet Theo's eye. Because when she said we, she meant him.

"That's a wish you could make come true, you know."

The way he said it coaxed her into looking at him. The corner of his mouth pulled up into half a smile and she became a little too aware of the inches that separated them under the table. She could imagine it, though—her and Theo sitting here again next year. Could they do that? Could they make a pact to drop everything and meet up, once a year, like people did in movies? Her automatic response was no, because it was a silly dream—a silly wish that she would be stupid to hold on to. But she remembered what Theo had said about her wish jar before. Maybe by "setting them free" you are hiding from what you want, making it so that you don't have to hope for things.

Then a memory of her dad's voice, too. One day, if you wish hard enough, it will come true.

But a frown pulled at her forehead. Because wishing for something did not make it come true, did it? And despite the fact that she was having trouble shaking whatever this was between Theo and her, they still wanted different things.

"I don't want to stay in Bath forever," she said quietly. "I don't want to run the company forever." She glanced at him, wondering whether she'd make him snap at her, for bringing this up. He'd been thrown into this too, after all. He hadn't always known he'd take over the company, hadn't been prepared for it. This had changed his life, as well as hers. But the difference was, he had already been in this life, whereas she…"I like my life. I like traveling."

Theo nodded, his expression mock-serious. "Oh yes, it sucks all this desk-based work we're doing right now."

Lexie rolled her eyes. "I just…I worry about the commitment of it all."

"Really? I hadn't noticed that about you at all ."

She kicked his shin lightly under the table. "I'm trying to explain, OK? I'm trying to make it so you won't hate me, when we're done with all this. Because I'm still figuring out what I want to do, and this was my dad's dream and…and I'm not sure it's mine." She broke off, trying to figure out exactly what she was trying to say.

"There's nothing to say you can't figure out what you want to do while also seeing if you like doing this for a bit. It's not a trap, Lex. And I don't think your dad meant it as one."

"No. Maybe he didn't." She took a sip of her wine—the glass nearly empty now. "What will you do if the company sells?" It felt like she could ask now that they were actually talking about it.

"I don't really know. But I was OK before; I'll be OK after. There are other jobs."

There was no blame in his voice, like there had been in the past—but it still felt tentative, like something could shatter if she said the wrong thing. And she realized she was sad, too. She was sad at the idea that she wouldn't have a reason to talk to Theo every day, wouldn't get to see him over the top of her computer or explore new places with him. She'd gotten used to him being there, without even realizing it—gotten used to being annoyed by him, and sparring with him, and them making each other laugh. She realized with a jolt of panic how much she was going to miss him.

She cleared her throat to cover it up. "Were you? OK before?"

He shrugged. "I was getting there. But I've learned how to be OK—and I won't lose that if the company sells." He said it firmly, like he was convincing himself. And she wondered—could she keep it after all? Could she let him keep it?

When they finished the wine, Theo stood, wooden chair legs scraping across the floor, and she got to her feet too, following him outside, where it had finally stopped raining, and into the Coach Inn next door. They walked side by side, neither of them saying anything. Their forearms were so close—she only had to move an inch, then they'd be touching.

They reached his room first—both of them were on the ground floor. He cleared his throat. "Well, this is me."

She nodded, though disappointment was coursing through her.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back slightly on his heels.

She nodded again, her heart picking up speed in a way that felt a little like panic.

He turned, fumbled with his key to open the door. And she took a breath.

"Theo?"

He looked back at her, and she made herself hold his gaze as she spoke again.

"I wouldn't regret anything in the morning this time. Just in case you were wondering." Her heart was in her throat now, her body held tense. It was a risk, to put the suggestion out there, in case she got shot down. He might not even remember his words from the last time they almost went there.

He didn't drop eye contact, and the space between them seemed to pulse. "Are you sure?"

She gave a firm nod. "Yes."

That was all it took. Theo closed the distance between them, and his mouth came down to hers, catching it firmly, no hint of hesitation. And God, the relief, at feeling his lips, hot and firm on hers. Her lips parted for his tongue and she felt his hands grip her waist as she angled her mouth up to meet his. She ran her hands up his back, fingernails digging in, and he let out a soft oath against her mouth. Why had she ever tried to convince herself not to do this? As if this could ever be a terrible idea.

His mouth moved down her throat, slow and hungry. "God," he muttered. "You have no idea how much I've wanted to touch you this weekend."

"Then why didn't you?" Her voice was a little breathless, and when he moved his hand down her thigh, back up under her dress, she felt the burn of his palm on her flesh.

"Because," he murmured. "It would have led to me doing this." He kissed her again, deeper, rougher, and heat flared though her as he backed her again the wall.

"We need to…" But her breath caught as his teeth scraped her bottom lip, then down over her jaw. " Move, " she managed to get out, though she was still pulling at him, urging him closer.

"Shit." His voice was hot against her skin before he eased back, glancing behind them. "Right."

She let out a shaky laugh at his expression. "Although apparently hotel corridors are our thing."

He moved his hands up and down her arms, leaving goosebumps behind. "Which…?"

"Yours," Lexie said immediately, jerking her head over his shoulder to where his hotel room was waiting. "Closer."

"Good call." He grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, and she laughed again as he pushed the door shut, then pushed her against it. His hands moved down her thigh and she dragged her fingers through his hair. His fingers glided higher and she shuddered as their mouths slipped together again. He tugged at her dress and she lifted her arms over her head, helping him get it off her.

Their movements slowed, became more deliberate. This wasn't an accident on either of their parts—not this time. They stared at each other as their hands roamed, and her breath caught at the intensity between them. One of his hands moved to push one bra strap down, and he kissed her bare shoulder.

"I've been dreaming about the feel of you," he murmured against her skin. "Been remembering the taste of you."

"Can't shake the memory, huh?" Her attempt at lightness was slightly betrayed by the quiver in her voice.

"I don't want to shake the memory," he said, then bit down in that space between her shoulder and neck. She groaned and closed her eyes as she arched against him. His hands skimmed down her sides, dug into her outer thighs. Then rose. Her eyes opened, and she grabbed his shoulders as she hooked her legs around his waist, a little wide-eyed as he moved her away from the door and toward the bed.

"You're carrying me!"

He grinned that cocky grin. "I know."

"How are you strong enough to carry me!"

His grin only spread as he dropped her on the bed, and she laughed as she landed. Her laugh changed to a gasp as he grabbed her calves, pulled her toward the end of the mattress. His hands rode up her inner thighs, then his mouth followed, tasting where he touched. She breathed his name, wasn't even sure what she meant by it, then whimpered as he kissed the top of her inner thigh and over her, her hips lifting automatically. She reached behind her, grabbing hold of the top of the headboard to ground herself, as he pressed a hand to her stomach to keep her still, the heat of his mouth pushing her closer to the end.

" Theo, " she said again, and now reached down to pull him to her. He rose and she heard the hiss of his belt buckle, before she sat up, helping him out of his jeans. He pushed her gently onto her back and she pulled him with her, groaning at the relief of finally feeling the weight of him on her. He reached behind her and she shifted so he could undo her bra. His gaze went both dark and burning as it scraped up the lines of her body.

"Fuck, Lexie."

She ran a hand through his hair, unable to keep from touching him. "I'll take that as a compliment."

His laugh was a little shaky. "You should. You totally should." His thumb swept the outside curve of her breast and her nerve endings lit up. She moved her thighs so he could settle against her hips, and his mouth dragged down her breasts, catching her nipples. Everything in her went tight. She reached between them to feel him in her hand, and he let his breath out on a hiss as he moved into it.

"Did you bring a…?"

"Yeah." He grinned. "Just in case." He reached for his bedside table, and she knew that he, too, must have guessed where this weekend was going to end. He kissed her hungrily as he worked on the condom, then took hold of her hips, guiding her onto him, his eyes heavy and dark. Everything in her went taut as he held himself there. Then she moved her hips against him, and he groaned as he rocked into her.

"Fuck," he said again, his teeth scraping down her jaw.

She let out another gasp as she pushed against him, her fingernails digging into his back. "And to think, all the time we've wasted not doing this."

"We've done this plenty of times in my head."

"How does it compare?"

"Not even close."

He sat up, pulled her into his lap, and pushed back into her. She braced her hands behind her, working herself onto him, as one of his hands wound into her hair, the other flattened on her back, holding her there. She ran her hands down his back, his muscles rigid with tension, and felt her outline dissolving, the edges of everything becoming blurred. She bit the side of his neck, and his fingers dug into her spine as a rush of pleasure flared through her.

Afterward, he pulled her down on the bed next to him, so that her head was on his chest. She lay there, waiting for her breathing to return to normal, as he traced lazy patterns across her stomach. "Are you…?" he asked.

"Still here," she said. Though in truth she felt a little dazed, like her brain was still catching up to it. Really, if this was what sex with Theo was like, maybe she ought to be doing a lot more of it.

But not tonight. Because if she wasn't careful, she'd end up falling asleep here, and she couldn't be having that. So, a little reluctantly, she moved away, starting to sit up.

He reached out, grabbed her hand. "Stay," he murmured. And despite what she was trying to tell herself, despite the fact that she was trying to keep it safe, her stupid heart flipped. But it was for that very reason that she couldn't.

Instead, she bent over him, kissed his forehead. "I'll see you in the morning."

Because whatever he might want now, she didn't want to come to expect him to always be there.