39. Carter

39

CARTER

“Dad, can I go play the claw machine to try and win the unicorn plushie?” Abby stares up at me with big eyes that are hard to say no to.

“Let’s wait for your mom to get here,” I compromise. “After you say hi, then you can go play.”

“Okay!” Abby beams.

“I want to play, too,” Andy chimes in.

“You can both play.” I anticipated the pizzeria attached to an arcade would be too tempting for the twins to resist. I brought plenty of coins for them to enjoy a few games in between having lunch with their mom.

“Yes!” Andy holds out his hand for Abby to high-five. Their happiness lifts my spirits.

Things have been heavy these past two months.

What with Valerie leaving and being put in the middle of me and their mother, the stability the twins had been enjoying was ripped out from underneath them.

But now that we’ve had a few weeks to adjust to the new custody arrangement, and I finally hired a new nanny, things seem to be leveling out.

It’s nice to see the kids acting goofy and… well… like kids again.

The host turns the corner and greets us. “Hello, how many—woah.” The teenager’s eyes widen. “You’re Carter Jones.”

“I am.” I lift a hand. “Hello.”

“Oh my god. Hi! I’m a big fan. You played awesome last game. I can’t wait to see you kick Arizona’s ass this weekend.”

I grin at the teen’s enthusiasm. “Thanks, man. I appreciate that.”

He bobs his head several times, still processing the situation he finds himself in. When his eyes shift to the kids, he overcomes his surprise and asks, “Table for three?”

“For four, actually. We’re still waiting for one to join us.”

“Cool. I’ll go make sure a table is clear.” He gathers plastic-covered menus and two coloring pages with a set of crayons. “Carter freaking Jones.” He shakes his head. “My friends aren’t going to believe this.”

I keep my smile in place until he rounds the corner. Then I look down at my twins to see them already looking up at me. “Looks like my disguise didn’t work.” I shoot them a wink.

“What disguise?”

“Yeah,” Andy seconds Abby’s question. “What disguise?”

“I’m wearing my glasses.” I motion to the rims on my face.

“You wear your glasses all the time.”

“Not in public.”

“Hm.” Abby hums. “I guess that’s true.”

“Why don’t you wear them in public?” Andy asks.

“Well, I’m usually playing football or working out. Contacts are just easier.”

“Oh.” Andy purses his lips, taking in that information. “Valerie liked your glasses.”

The comment is innocuous. I’m not sure my son even thought about what he was saying. It was just a thought. But Abby nudges her brother in the ribs and gives him a pointed look.

“Ow. What?” He rubs his side and glares at his sister.

“We’re not supposed to talk about Valerie,” she hisses.

I frown. “Hold on, now. Who said you’re not supposed to talk about Valerie?”

Abby looks wary. “No one.”

“Then why would you say that?”

The twins exchange a look. Finally, Andy says, “Because you always look sad when we talk about her.”

Damn.

Do I?

I thought I’d done a good job of hiding how the breakup affected me… at least from the twins.

Corey and Dane are a different story. There’s no doubt my friends are tired of listening to me mope about losing the girl of my dreams, but they’re nice enough not to tell me to knock it off. Not yet, anyway.

“You can talk about Valerie,” I tell them. “You guys were close. It’s normal to want to talk about her.”

“Okay,” they say at the same time, but it’s obvious they don’t believe me.

I think about pressing the issue, but I’m not proud to admit I’m relieved when I don’t have to. The twins preoccupy themselves with looking at the sticker dispenser located next to the host stand, and I’m left second-guessing how I’ve been acting around the twins ever since Valerie left.

The first couple of weeks were rough. Not just because I was nursing a broken heart, but because of the stress of worrying about how the kids were going to handle the changes in their routine. Valerie had established herself as a reliable figure in their lives. It was hard for them to lose her.

But things got better after I hired Cameron. The agency had never sent over a male nanny before. And they didn’t this time. Cameron is Dane’s little brother. He moved to town after some family drama back in Minnesota, hoping he could try out for the Ranchers.

When Dane first suggested Cameron could help me out, I have to admit, I was skeptical. But after meeting the guy and learning he cared for his younger cousins regularly, I decided to give the twenty-year-old a chance. I’m glad I did. The twins get along with him great. It’s not like it was with Valerie, but that’s okay. I didn’t expect it to be.

“So, you’re going to the Super Bowl?”

The door swings shut behind Laura as she steps into the pizzeria. My ex’s blonde hair is tied in a slicked-back ponytail. She wears a pretty sundress, and she looks much happier than the last time we saw each other at the final custody hearing just a couple of months ago.

“Looks like it.” I hold out my arms and we exchange a polite hug.

She steps back and shoots me a genuine smile. “I’m happy for you, Carter. And the kids are so proud.”

I follow her gaze down to where the kids stand at the sticker dispenser. She opens her arms. “Hey, Abby. Hi, Andy.”

Their hesitation is brief, but it’s hard not to notice. Laura does a good job of pretending she doesn’t, keeping her smile in place even though a flash of hurt crosses her expression.

“Hi, Mom,” the twins murmur in unison, then walk into her arms for an embrace. They step back at the same time, then turn to look at me. It’s been a while since they’ve done their twin synchronized thing… I forgot how unnerving it can be.

“Can we go to the claw machine now?” Abby asks.

“Sure.” I reach into my pocket and hand quarters to each of them. “Just one try, then come find us at our table.”

“Okay, Dad.” Abby and Andy race off hand-in-hand. Laura and I watch them go with pensive expressions.

“They haven’t forgiven me.”

I turn back to Laura. Her smile has fallen. Now, she looks forlorn as she watches our kids smile and laugh in a way they haven’t done around her in a long, long time.

“They will eventually.” I mean it. Laura’s changed ever since the judge granted me full custody. It’s like having a third party deem her an unreliable mother snapped her out of the delusion she’s been living in. She no longer believes she can enjoy a selfish lifestyle and also foster a nurturing relationship with her kids.

It sucks that it took losing custody to make her realize that, but I give her credit for taking action to mend the hurt she’s caused. It will just take time.

The host returns. “Are you ready to be seated?”

“Yes, please.”

“Follow me.”

I motion for Laura to walk in front of me. We follow the teenager to a booth located close to the edge of the dining area, nearest to the arcade. We settle on opposite sides of the booth.

“Your waiter will be with you soon,” the host tells us. With one last admiring look my way, he walks away. It’s a Monday afternoon and a teacher work day at the kids’ school, but the pizzeria is surprisingly empty. Other than one family of five across the room, I only see workers here. I bet that will change once it gets closer to dinner time. But we’ll be gone before then.

“I think Abby and Andy miss Valerie.”

I look up from the plastic menu, ignoring the way my chest aches at Laura’s observation. “I’m sure they do.” I look back down, hoping she drops the subject.

She doesn’t.

“Andy said you broke up with her because of Sara.”

I blow out a heavy breath. “That’s not true.” I managed to obtain a restraining order against the woman who disrespected boundaries by approaching my kids at their science fair.

I haven’t heard anything from her, or her lawyer, since it went into effect. But before it did, I learned Sara’s parents had heard about the situation and were trying to convince her to seek professional help for her behavior.

Stalking me is just one of the concerning behaviors she’s exhibited as of late. As much as I want her to honor the restraining order and stay away, I do hope she gets the help she needs.

“Then why did you break up with her?”

I huff a disbelieving laugh. “Are you asking about my love life?”

“Why not?” She cracks a smile. “You’ve asked about mine before.”

I snort. “Only when your rockstar boyfriend whisked you to Europe and you abandoned our kids.”

Laura winces.

“Sorry,” I mutter. “That was uncalled for.” From what the twins told me after their last visit with Laura, I’m pretty sure she and her boyfriend broke up. Bringing him up was a shitty thing to do.

“Maybe, but it’s true.” Her expression is resigned. She shakes her head, clearing away whatever thoughts my comment elicited, and says, “I’m just worried about you, Carter. You’re a good guy, but you tend to try and put everyone else’s happiness before yours.”

I open my mouth to object, but Laura holds up a hand. “And while I’m sure you had good intentions for breaking things off with Valerie, I can’t help but wonder if it was a mistake.”

It was the biggest mistake of my life.

“What made you think I broke up with her? Maybe she broke up with me.”

She lifts a brow. “Did she?”

I frown. “No.” This would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if she had.

“Exactly.” Laura shakes her head again. “I don’t know the details. It’s not my business. But…” She sighs. “Even after everything that happened between us… all the drama and immature behavior… I honestly do want you to be happy.”

Oddly enough, I believe her.

“You’ve changed,” I observe.

“I’m trying to.”

I respect that.

A lot.

It wasn’t easy to forgive her after she leaked our personal business to the press, but once the judge ruled in my favor and granted me full custody of Abby and Andy, I didn’t see a point in holding a grudge.

When she said she was sorry for her behavior a month ago, I accepted her apology. We might never be friends per se, but I have hope that our co-parenting relationship can be respectful and kind. For the kids’ sake.

“Well, thank you for your concern, but I’m okay. Really.”

She doesn’t bother to hide her skepticism. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Fine.” She sighs. “It’s your life, Carter. The last thing I’ll say is that you can’t pour from an empty cup. For the sake of our kids, please take care of yourself and your happiness so you will be able to care for theirs.”

My instinct is to argue against the implication that I’d ever let our kids suffer for my unhappiness. But I hold it in and take Laura’s words for what they are—the concern of someone who cares about me.

“You know, I never thought you’d be encouraging me to chase after another woman,” I say lightheartedly.

Laura chuckles. “Yeah… me either.”

“I guess we’ve grown up a little, huh?”

Abby and Andy let out a cheer, drawing our gazes across the arcade.

Laura and I watch our kids high-five and celebrate the fact one of them managed to win a stuffed animal from the claw machine.

“Yeah,” Laura murmurs with a soft smile. “I guess we have.”