32. Valerie

32

VALERIE

“Oh my god, Valerie. I am so proud of you. My daughter… a CFO. Ah! Can you believe it?” Mom gushes so loud that she draws the attention of those dining at the tables around us.

I sink into my seat, hoping their attention doesn’t last. Kobu is a fancy sushi restaurant. The atmosphere is designed to be subdued and calming. Mom’s exuberance is out of place.

“I didn’t say I was taking the job,” I mumble.

A gong sounds near the front of the room, drawing the room’s attention. Thank goodness. Otherwise, they’d see how quickly my mom’s smile turns into a scowl.

“Excuse me?” She clips.

I sigh and sit up straight. This conversation is going to be a doozy. I shouldn’t slouch and give my mom another thing to criticize. “I said, ‘I didn’t say I was taking the job’.”

Will just called me ten minutes ago to tell me he and Henry would officially like to offer me the position of CFO for their company. The interview was only three days ago. Considering two of those days were the weekend, I expected the men to take more time to interview other candidates before making their decision. That’s the only reason I answered the call outside of Kobu.

I thought Will had another question to ask me to help him and Henry make their decision. I had no idea he would be calling to offer me the job. Or that my mom would choose that moment to walk up behind me and eavesdrop on the conversation.

I should’ve lied when she asked for details about the job.

Or, at the very least, I should’ve been vague.

I definitely shouldn’t have told her I’d been offered the CFO position. Especially when I wasn’t certain I wanted the job.

Now, I’ve set myself up to endure more of her characteristic disappointment with my life choices.

“What in the world do you mean?” Her voice hardens. “Why would you ever turn down an opportunity like this?”

I steel my spine to withstand the weight of her impending disapproval. “The job is in California.”

“So?”

“And it’s at a start-up,” I continue. “It’ll be risky to uproot my life and move to another state for a job that could not exist in a year.”

“But it could also be the opportunity of a lifetime!” She shakes her head. “And since when are you adverse to taking risks? Aren’t you the same person who up and quit her high-paying and respectable job just a few months ago because she felt like it?”

“My decision to quit was more complex than that.”

She waves a dismissive hand. “The point I’m trying to make is that you quit your job to look for a different opportunity. Well, becoming a CFO is one hell of an opportunity, Valerie. I cannot believe you are seriously considering letting it pass you by.”

I should tell my mom that I’ll think about what she’s said and change the subject. But try as I might, I can’t ignore the intense need to defend myself—to not let her bully me into submission for once in my life.

“I quit my job because I had no personal life,” I remind her. “And by agreeing to work at a startup, I’m all but guaranteeing that I will be working just as many hours as I did as an accountant in Houston. If not more.”

“But won’t the payoff be worth it?”

“I don’t know.” And I don’t know if it’s a chance I’m willing to take.

The stress and anxiety that have been my life’s constant companions have all but disappeared these past few months. I feel like I can breathe for the first time since I was a child who didn’t feel the expectations of her mother or world leering over her shoulder.

And I’m happy.

I’m not sure the opportunity to be a young, female CFO is worth losing that. Or harming my mental health.

Unfortunately, Mom doesn’t think the same way.

Her lips tighten in a forced smile as she tries to maintain her composure. If we were behind closed doors, I have no doubt she’d drop the polite fa?ade and rip into me. “You must be joking, Valerie. Please… tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not joking. I’m not sure taking this job will be what’s best for me in the long run.”

“This is because you’re dating that football player. Isn’t it?” She’s close to losing her cool. And I’m not going to lie, that terrifies me.

“I will make the decision that’s best for me,” I answer honestly. “No one else.”

“That’s bull shit,” she hisses.

I rear back, stunned.

I can’t remember the last time my mom cursed in public. I doubt it’s ever happened.

I expect her to realize what she’s done and get control of herself, but she doesn’t. She’s too worked up.

“Nothing in life is guaranteed, Valerie. Nothing . Hard work and grit don’t always get a person what they deserve. So when an opportunity like this presents itself, you have to grab it and hold on tight. You don’t let anything stand in your way. Especially not a man whose job is playing an idiotic game.”

My eyes are wide as I take in her flared nostrils and fierce glare. She’s seething.

It wasn’t so long ago that I would crumble under the pressure of her anger and disappointment and agree to do whatever she wanted me to do.

But things have changed.

I’m not the same little girl who craved her mother’s approval at the expense of her happiness.

It’s tempting to return her anger with my own, but I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to argue. I just want her to respect my decisions.

But that won’t happen until I figure out what’s motivating such a visceral reaction from the woman who gave me life.

“Was life with Dad really that bad?”

She blinks, taken aback by the question. “What?”

“Was being a wife and a mom such a bad life? Did Dad mistreat you? Did he keep you from achieving your dreams?” I can’t think of what else would make her this way.

Some of the tension leaves her body, but her lips are still pressed tight before she admits, “No. Your dad was a good husband. But we were young—too young to get together and start a family. I realized I had dreams bigger than that life.”

Dreams bigger than being your mom.

She doesn’t say the words out loud, but I hear them loud and clear.

“Your father didn’t have the same drive,” Mom rambles after seeing my reaction to her words. “He didn’t have ambition.”

That’s a lie.

Dad had plenty of drive and ambition. He just valued those he cared about more than his personal success. He put me first.

And that’s the kind of person I want to be.

“Mom…” I take a deep breath and will myself to hold strong to what I’m about to say. “I love you, but I’m going to do what I’m going to do. And while I’d appreciate your support, I don’t need it.”

Her perfectly manicured brows lift. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” I slide my chair back and stand. “I’m going to go.”

“You…” She balks. “You can’t leave. We haven’t had lunch yet.”

“I’m not hungry.” And I’m not interested in subjecting myself to her disapproval for however long the meal will last.

She sputters in disbelief. “This is incredibly rude, Valerie.”

“Sorry, Mom.” I hang my purse over my shoulder and then shrug. “But for once, I don’t care what you think.”