31. Carter

31

CARTER

“You played like you had a stick up your ass today.”

I scowl at Deon from where I’m half-crouched in the ice bath in the training room. Deon sits in the ice bath next to me, looking far too comfortable in the torturously cold water. The lineman smiles when he sees my reaction.

“It was just practice,” I grunt, then hiss when I shift and the water splashes my abs. Ice baths are the fucking worst.

“You’re going to have to submerge yourself, Carter,” the trainer, Gina, tells me as she walks past.

“I’m working up to it,” I tell the middle-aged woman who looks like she could give me a run for my money in a weightlifting contest.

“The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you get out of the bath,” she says before walking away to check on another player doing PT with exercise bands across the room.

I squeeze my eyes closed and exhale, mentally preparing myself to dip into the frigid water when Deon’s voice interrupts, “Seriously, Carter. You seem uptight. Maybe you and your nanny need more time between the sheets to release some tension, if you know what I mean.”

“Fuck off, man.” It might have taken a couple of weeks, but news of my relationship has finally made it through the entire locker room, including players, training staff, and coaches.

Deon laughs.

I ignore him and suck in a breath before dipping down into the freezing water. I spew a string of curses. Only half of them are elicited by the painfully cold bath.

It’s been a shitty past couple of days. I’ve done my best to hide it from Valerie and the twins. Not only because I don’t want my bad mood to rub off on them, but because I want to avoid admitting the reason for my foul mood.

Davis hasn’t admitted it to me yet, but the custody case has become more complicated. How could it not? More and more stories about it are popping up on various news outlets each day.

Some are undoubtedly fueled by the news of my new relationship, but I know Laura is behind some of them as well. There’s too much private information being shared for her not to be responsible.

Davis has reassured me that his colleagues are on it and preparing to include rebuttals and rebuffs against Laura for going to the press. He tries to sound confident things are going to go well, but I sense the underlying tension in his voice when he speaks to me lately. He chooses his words much more carefully. My lawyer is uneasy. And that makes me uneasy.

But that’s just one problem I’m dealing with.

I’m not proud to admit the other one.

Because it makes me feel like the most selfish asshole in existence.

“Jones.”

Water sloshes over the edge of the metal basin when I jolt.

Coach Palmer stands in the training room doorway. His features are hard. His expression is unreadable. “Get dressed and meet me in my office.” He stomps away without waiting for a response.

Valerie’s dad hasn’t spoken to me unless required ever since he confronted us in my driveway. The fact he summons me now, after my shitty performance at practice, makes me nervous.

Deon whistles low. “Damn man. That doesn’t sound good. I’ve never heard Coach P sound so cold.”

“He’s probably pissed because Jones is banging his daughter,” Brody, the second-round draft pick chimes from the bath on the other side of Deon.

Both men chuckle.

Assholes.

I splash the frigid water in their direction. It only serves to make them laugh harder.

I shake my head and climb out of the water, wrapping a thick white towel around my waist before draping another one over my shoulders.

I take my time getting dressed, but I’m standing outside Coach Palmer’s office too soon.

Man up, Jones. You aren’t a coward.

He might not approve of my relationship with Valerie, but I’m determined to change his mind. His worries are valid. Any dad who cares about his daughter would feel the same. He’ll need time before he’s convinced I’m good for his daughter. And I’m willing to wait.

I roll my shoulders back and knock.

“Come in.”

I open the door and find Coach Palmer typing on his computer at his desk. He doesn’t look up. “Take a seat.”

I close the door behind me and cross the room to sit in the chair centered in front of his desk.

Coach Palmer keeps typing.

I wait.

Minutes pass. I resist the urge to fidget. Finally, Coach closes his laptop. He meets my gaze, and his expression is just as hard as it’s been since he learned about me and his daughter.

“Your focus wasn’t on the field today,” he finally says.

“No, Sir,” I agree.

“Is the custody issue any closer to being resolved?”

“The hearing is supposed to be in a couple of weeks,” I say. Though, Davis is trying to get it scheduled sooner. We’re both ready for this case to be closed.

Coach nods. “Good. I’m sure it will be a huge weight off your shoulders once that’s dealt with.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Silence settles.

I wait for him to move on to reprimand me for my performance today. I expect him to say the coaching staff is tired of my inconsistency and they’re going to bench me on Sunday to see how my backup performs.

I’m already resigned not to argue. The coaches have a job to do, and that is to win games. They’ve given me ample time to get my shit together, but I keep letting my personal life get in the way.

“I heard Valerie has a job interview today.”

I stiffen, taken aback by the unexpected subject. I’m not surprised Valerie told her dad about the opportunity, but I am surprised he’s bringing it up to me.

I nod slowly and once again say, “Yes, Sir.”

He leans back in his rolling chair and laces his fingers over his abdomen, watching me. “It sounds like a great opportunity.”

Except for the fact it means she’ll have to move half a country away…

“It does,” I agree.

“From what Valerie told me, she’s pretty much guaranteed to get the job.”

I have to swallow down the lump that forms in my throat before I can speak. “Yeah, it sounds like it.”

He furrows his brow. “And you’re okay with that?”

I frown. “What?”

“You’re okay with Valerie getting a job that will take her out of state?”

Of course not.

What is he playing at?

It’s my turn to lean back in my seat and cross my arms. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can be any clearer,” he clips, then asks, “Are you okay with Valerie getting this job and moving out of state.”

I could be honest and say no. I could tell him the selfish part of me hopes she doesn’t get the job. Or, if she does, she decides to turn it down.

But rather than lay my cards on the table, I opt to share a different truth. “Whether or not I’m okay with it doesn’t matter. The only person whose opinion matters is Valerie.”

He grunts. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

I wait for him to say more, but he’s back to watching me in silence.

I scowl. “Is that really why you called me in here? To make sure I’m not going to sabotage this job opportunity for Valerie?” My tone reveals how insulted I am by the idea.

Coach doesn’t apologize. “Can you blame me? You decided to pursue her even though you’re well aware you two aren’t a good match.”

“Who says we aren’t a good match?” Those words never came out of my mouth.

“Come on, Carter. You’re a good kid, but Valerie is trying to figure out her life right now. Dating a football player with two kids isn’t going to help her do that.

Ouch.

“And it’s not helping you either,” he adds before I can speak. He levels a pointed look on me. “Or are you going to deny that the thought of my daughter moving away didn’t influence your performance today?”

I shift in my seat. “What’s your point, Coach?”

He shakes his head with pity. “You’re a talented player, Carter. You have years of playing ahead of you, but only if you stop letting things get in your way.”

“You think Valerie is getting in my way?”

“I think there are a lot of things in your way, most of them out of your control, but yes. I think this relationship with my daughter is getting in your way. Just like I think you’re getting in her way.”

I bristle. “I’d never tell Valerie not to take a job if that’s what she wanted.” Even if the thought of her moving away makes my chest physically hurt.

“But that’s the thing.” His eyes grow sad. “You wouldn’t have to. I know my daughter. She… she likes you. You wouldn’t have to ask her not to take a job that moves her across the country. If she thought taking the job would hurt you or your kids, she would turn it down to avoid causing you pain. At the expense of her wellbeing.”

Is that true?

I don’t believe it.

I don’t want to believe it.

But then I remember how great Valerie is with the twins—how upset she feels on their behalf whenever Laura does something to disappoint them.

Could her feelings for me and my family cause her to turn down an opportunity she would otherwise take?

Could I unknowingly be sabotaging her future?

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I blink and meet Coach Palmer’s gaze. “No? What did you think would happen during this conversation?”

He looks down and sighs. “I just needed to hear you say you won’t try to influence my daughter’s future.”

“I won’t.”

“But,” he continues as if I didn’t speak. “Just being with her will inevitably influence Valerie’s decisions. And she’s worked too hard to let herself give up dreams and stop chasing goals because she’s busy playing house with you.”

Damn.

I’ve always respected Coach Palmer. Knowing he thinks so little of me hurts like shit. I shove down the pain and steel my voice to hide my emotion. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah…” he nods. “That’s all.”

“Cool.” I stand and head for the door. “Good talk, Coach.”

I need to get out of here before I do something stupid like beg him to tell me what I can do to prove I’m good for his daughter.

I wrap my hand around the door knob. Before I can turn it and leave, Coach says, “I know you care about Valerie.”

My shoulders tense, but I force myself to turn and meet his eye so he can see how sincere I am when I say, “I really do.”

His expression is somber. “Then I have to ask, if you care about Valerie, do you truly believe that you are what’s best for her?”

Fresh pain, laced with self-doubt, cuts through me. “I don’t know.”

“You should think about it.” He inhales through his nostrils. His eyes look tired. “Please… for Valerie’s sake…”

I huff a noncommittal sound and then leave the office. I walk quickly, trying to leave behind my coach’s request before it can settle in the back of my mind and make me doubt my relationship with the most incredible woman I’ve ever met.

But as hard as I try, I can’t outrun Coach’s words. They haunt me well into the late night.

Even with Valerie curled in my arms after watching a light-hearted romantic comedy, I find myself staring up at the ceiling of my bedroom, wondering what in the hell I’m going to do.

The last thing I want is to end things with Valerie, but I can’t shake the possibility that I could be holding her back. Or what in the hell I’m going to do if that’s the case.