20. Christa

I lookedup from my desk at my father, who stood in the doorway of my office. I knew this was coming. I’d been shirking my responsibilities around here, and it was time to have a serious talk about where things were headed in my life.

“Dad,” I said, pushing up from my chair.

“Hey, pumpkin.” His warm smile made me feel like everything would be okay, but he didn’t know all the things I’d done recently. And if he found out, that warm smile would turn into disappointment in a heartbeat.

“I think we should talk.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“Dad—”

“Listen, pumpkin,” he said, walking further into the room. “I know you’ve been going through something. Everyone does. It’s a normal part of life.”

“That’s exactly what I want to talk to you about.”

“Good. I think it’s time. Now, I know things with you and Paul have been unsettled, but I think I know?—”

“Dad, this isn’t about Paul.”

“It’s not?”

“No, Dad.”

“So, you’ve worked it out with him.”

The hope on his face made this so much harder than I ever could have imagined. “No. Things will never work with him.”

He tried to hide the disappointment on his face, but did a terrible job. “I see.”

“We were never right for each other. We want different things out of life.” He wants to sleep around and I want a man who’s committed to me.

“If this isn’t about Paul, then what’s been going on over the last few days? You’re so distant.”

I took a deep breath, ready to dive into the deep end. “I don’t want to work for the church anymore.”

He stared at me, not reacting at all. “I’m sorry?”

“Dad, I was following in your footsteps, but I realized that I’m just not happy here. I need to go my own way.”

“Your own way,” he chuckled. “But this is your way. It’s your calling.”

“It’s not. I’m only here because it’s what I’ve always known.”

My father, always calm and collected, suddenly found himself in a situation he wasn’t ready to deal with. I could see it in his eyes as they darted around the room. “But…you lead the choir. You’re our choral minister.”

“And that’s a great job…for someone else.”

His face quickly morphed into a scowl. “No. This is your job. You can’t just leave the church.”

“Dad—”

“We should pray on this. That’s what we need to do.” He turned and stormed out of the office, rushing up the stairs to the nave and over to the huge stained-glass window where he stood every Sunday to preach to our congregation. He fell to his knees, immediately clasping his hands together in prayer.

This was a little overkill, even for my father. I didn’t know why he was taking this so badly. It was just a job. I was never meant to work in the church for the rest of my life. I didn’t have a calling to work in the ministry like he did.

“Christa!”

My eyes widened in horror as Max’s voice echoed around the church. I spun, praying it wasn’t true. “Oh God,” I whispered, pressing my fingers to my mouth. This couldn’t be happening. Max was not here right now. He just couldn’t be.

He rushed down the aisle toward me as my father glanced over his shoulder with a frown.

“I’m so glad I caught you. Look, I think we need to have a talk.”

“Yes, but not?—”

“Look, I know what we had was amazing, but?—”

“Who are you?” my dad asked, stepping up beside me.

I turned bright red, shaking my head slightly at Max. He needed to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh, I’m Max.”

My dad held out his hand to shake Max’s, who hesitantly placed his in my dad’s hand.

“Okay,” Max laughed. “Sure, it’s good to meet you. Anyway, Christa, we really need to talk. What we had was a lot of fun, and I realize now about…you know, it being your first time?—”

“Max, we should really?—”

“It’s okay. I get it,” he sighed.

“You really don’t?—”

“First time what?” my dad asked.

I turned even brighter red as Max forged on.

“Hey, padre, I get it. You believe in the whole God thing, and the bowing and stooping shit. Sex before marriage is bad,” he said mockingly.

I bit my lip as I dropped my gaze to the floor. This was so bad.

“Sex before marriage?” my dad asked. I could feel his burning gaze on me.

“Hey, this whole God and pony show is good for some,” Max continued. “Frankly, I never really got the point of it all. My mom tried to send me to Catholic school, but that didn’t really pan out,” he chuckled. “They didn’t like that I was already jacking off, you know what I mean? We’ve all been there.”

“Max,” I breathed heavily. “This is my father.”

Max looked at him and nodded. “Right, Father,” he swirled his finger around the church. “Look, it’s not really any of your business what Christa and I do. And you really shouldn’t judge her. It was only…what? Four or five times?”

“Four or five times?” my dad gasped.

I didn’t need to look up to see the disappointment on his face.

“Hey, buddy, it’s not a big deal. So, we got our rocks off. Big deal. She’s very thoughtful in bed, if that makes any difference.”

“Not to God,” my father bit out.

I wanted so badly for the ground to swallow me whole. I kept opening my mouth to interrupt, but the two of them just kept going at it.

“Do I come into your house and judge you?” Max spat.

“This is my house, and you’re judging me right now,” my dad seethed.

Max looked around in confusion, then seemed to understand. “Oh, right.”

“Max…when I say that this is my father, I mean he’s my father. As in the man who raised me from a baby. My dad. The man who shares my DNA.”

Max squinted at me in confusion for just another second before he finally realized not only what I was saying, but that he had just told my father that we were sleeping together.

“Oh.” He cleared his throat and stepped back. “Oops.”

“What were you saying about my daughter being amazing?” my dad asked.

“Uh…nothing,” he laughed. “I was just joking. You know, because we’re in church.”

“And you find that sort of humor funny?”

Max’s eyes flickered to me for help, but there was nothing I could say. I was already going to hell in my father’s eyes.

“Uh…sir?—”

“Oh, now it’s sir,” my dad snapped.

Max turned his gaze on me. “You know, it might have been helpful if you had told me your father was a priest.”

“Minister,” I muttered.

“Maybe she was too busy being amazing in bed,” my father bit out.

If the ground would swallow me whole at this very moment, I would gladly free fall and never come up again. But that wasn’t bound to happen, and the way my father was staring at me right now, I knew a very long talk was coming.

“Christa, how about you and your…lover…come to my office.”

“Wait, is this like in Catholic school? Because going to the office there meant getting smacked by the sisters,” Max hedged.

“Now!” my father snapped.

Max looked at me with wide eyes and I shrugged. He might be able to get out of this, but there was no way I would. I followed behind my dad, surprised when Max followed me.

“You should run while you have the chance,” I hissed.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your dad is a holy guy? Jesus Christ! I told him we were fucking!”

“Will you lower your voice,” I hissed. “We’re in church!”

“Somehow, I doubt my swearing is the real issue right now.”

“I can’t believe you told my dad we were sleeping together,” I hissed. “What is wrong with you?”

“There’s not enough time to go over that,” he grumbled as we stepped into the office.