29 Surprise Guests and Connected Hearts

Surprise Guests and Connected Hearts

Savannah

Harvard University

Fall

" MAKE SURE TO DO THE READING FOR NEXT WEEK!" THE PROFESSOR shouted over the mass of people packing away their notes and scurrying out of the door.

"I think I've bitten off more than I can chew," Cara, my new roommate, said.

"You can do this," I said, putting my bag over my shoulder and heading out of the building. College had just begun. We'd had a week of orientation, and today was the first day of classes. But better yet, I was going to see Cael again soon. Just as I had arrived, the hockey team left for an off-campus training camp. He had told me he was back today, and I was counting down the seconds until I saw him again.

We had talked every day since he left the retreat, and I could hardly breathe with how badly I wanted to see him again. To have him wrap his strong arms around me and pull me to his chest.

I was nervous too. It had been months since he had left Japan. Since we had kissed or held one another close. I'd missed him so much at times I felt like boarding a plane to see him. But I knew he needed to focus and that I'd see him again at college.

I could barely believe I would see him again in a matter of hours.

We walked to the hallway and left the building, entering the beauty that was Boston in the fall. It was so beautiful it didn't seem real. I checked my cell phone to see if he had called. There was nothing yet. I put my phone in my pocket, then looked up and stopped dead in my tracks. My heart fired off into a sprint, when, down the stairs, standing against a tree in the courtyard, was Cael. He was searching all around him, looking for someone … looking for me , I realized. Students muttered as they had to squeeze past my statue-like state, but I couldn't move, too shocked at seeing Cael again right before me.

"Savannah? What—" Cara said, but then her words died off into silence. Then she said, "That's Cael Woods." But my eyes were locked on the boy who had stolen my heart from the moment I had laid eyes on him. The boy who had held that heart in his hands for months, keeping it safe until I was back in his arms.

Cael was dressed in sportswear. Sweatpants and a jacket. My breathing stuttered in happiness when I saw it was a jacket that read Crimson Hockey . His tattoos snuck up his neck and out of the collar, his dark hair short at the sides and messy on top … then he found me and I met his eyes.

Cael's stare melted when our gazes finally collided. And like I had been a boat adrift at sea, I found an anchor in his eyes, his very presence. On shaking legs, I never broke eye contact as I began running down the steps and across the courtyard to where he stood.

Tears built in my eyes as I drank him in with my every step. He was here. Cael was really here . He didn't hesitate and set off to run for me too, and unable to be parted for one more second, we landed in each other's arms, chests meeting and arms wrapping around the other like we would never let go. I held on tight, my soul soaring now that I was back in his embrace.

"Peaches …" Cael murmured into my neck, and I almost broke at hearing that Boston brogue saying that word— my word.

"Baby," I whispered back and pulled him tighter, so impossibly tight we merged into one single form in the college courtyard.

Cael reared back and I studied him up close. It was like seeing the most glorious sunrise after too many nights of darkness. "I've missed you, Peaches," he said with his graveled voice, and I felt the truth of those words in every inch of my heart. "God, I've fucking missed you."

Cael dropped his forehead to mine and laced our fingers together. "I've missed you too," I said, barely able to find my voice, too overcome with happiness, his sea-salt and fresh-snow scent making him feel like home.

Cael inhaled, then kissed my cheeks, my forehead, and, seeking out my eyes for permission—which was more than given—then kissed my lips. As he did, the pain of his long absence fell away. My Cael was kissing me. He was here .

I kissed him back, sinking against him as he kissed me deeply, honestly and true. And as he kissed me, I sensed a new lightness within this boy who I loved with my very being. His kisses were searching but loving. They were optimistic, not laced in sadness and desperation.

A tear escaped the side of my eye as he pulled me even closer. I was safe in his arms once again. And he was safe in mine.

Cael broke from the kiss. "I love you, Savannah," he rasped, and I felt that love radiating from his soul.

I placed my hand on his cheek. "I love you too. I missed you so much."

Cael inched back. He studied my face like it was a Renaissance painting. Then his gaze shone with nerves. "Please will you come tonight?" he said, vulnerability in his voice.

"What's tonight?" I asked.

"An open scrimmage," he said and released one of my hands to run his fingers through my hair. My eyes closed at his touch. "I want you there." He swallowed. "It's the first event the team is doing outside of closed practice." He breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly. I took hold of his hands and squeezed twice. Our secret sign. A smile, so blinding, lit up his face and rivaled the sun.

Lord, he was beautiful.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," I said and laid my head against his chest. Cael exhaled, seemingly in relief. The sound of his racing heart brought butterflies to my chest.

I had him back. We were back together.

His hand kept running through my long hair, like he couldn't bear to not be touching me somehow after all this time apart.

He then cupped my face and kissed my lips. "I can't believe you're here, in front of me. It doesn't feel real," he said, and I smiled, turning my head and pressing a kiss to his palm.

"It's real," I said, threading my arms around his waist. " We're real."

Cael swallowed me in a hug. He towered over me, and I felt so safe in his embrace. I never wanted to break away, wanted to stay this way, always. "Harvard," he murmured, for me only, recognizing out loud that we'd reached our goal.

"Harvard," I whispered back, feeling overcome with emotion.

When Cael pulled back, he reluctantly said, "I have to go now, but …"

I didn't want to let him go. "Cael!" I looked over Cael's shoulder to see a blond boy calling him over. Cael lifted his hand, a gesture that he was on his way.

"That's Stephan, my best friend and teammate. We have a team meeting we have to get to." My heart squeezed in my chest, not that he had to leave so soon but that he had welcomed Stephan back in his life. I was so proud of him I could have burst apart.

Cael backed up, neither of us willing to tear our gazes away from the other until he was too far from sight and I had to turn away. I felt shellshocked; my heart was racing so fast I felt lightheaded.

I was so unbelievably happy.

Cara stepped beside me. "You're dating Cael Woods?" she said, sounding more than a little starstruck. I forgot she was from around here. And was a hockey fan.

Turning to Cara, my heart feeling so full I could barely breathe, I said, "Do you want to come to an open scrimmage with me tonight? The love of my life will be on the ice."

The stadium was about half full, which Cara told me was normal for an open scrimmage. I searched the rink for Cael but couldn't find him. Just then, I saw him step out of the tunnel and hit the ice. Number eighty-seven stood proudly on his back. My heart was in my throat as I watched him skate around the rink, picking up speed with every new stride.

It was surreal seeing him like this. I knew he played hockey. We had talked about it endlessly when he got out of his therapy program and had been given his spot back on Harvard's roster for this year. He had even sent me links to some of his old games when I had expressed my desire to see them. But now that I was here, feeling the cold from the ice hit my face was different from what I ever could have imagined.

I saw Cael searching the crowd. I knew when he had seen me, as he slowed right down as he passed me. He met my eyes and I smiled at him. He smiled back. He was so perfect.

A coach blew a whistle and Cael moved into position. I was the first to admit I had no idea what was happening in the scrimmage. I was trying to learn the rules, had spent too many nights this summer trying to read up on them. I'd get there eventually. For now, I just sat in awe watching Cael in his element. Even though I didn't understand the game, anyone could tell that Cael was a step above the rest—he was faster and more dynamic, and he sank shot after shot into the net, looking as though he could go all night and never tire.

I was breathless as I watched him. None more so when he would laugh, smile, and celebrate with his teammates. He was happy here. And he had done it. He had healed. This boy on the ice was a far cry from the boy who I had last seen in Japan. If it was possible, seeing him like this made me love him even more. Like Aika had told him, he'd had the tenacity to fix himself back together, and he was even more beautiful than ever before.

As the scrimmage came to an end, the awed faces of the fans watching Cael cool down screamed to me just how talented he was and how, if he had never found himself back to this game, it would have been a travesty.

Cael came over to where I was seated. I stood and moved to the boards. "Baby …" I said, shaking my head, unable to put words to my feelings. Cael's cheeks flushed in embarrassment under my praise. It was so adorable, I wanted to kiss him and never stop.

"Meet me outside the lockers?" he asked, and I nodded. As much as I had enjoyed seeing him scrimmage, I wanted to talk to him and spend hours back by his side.

"I'll head back to the dorms," Cara said. I nodded at her and followed the signs to the locker rooms. I stood outside in the hallway and waited for Cael to come out. Some other people were waiting, greeting different players as they left the locker room.

Cael walked out with the boy I now knew was Stephan. Cael's searching eyes found me immediately. He rushed to where I stood and wrapped his arms around me. He crushed me to his chest, his damp hair from his shower sticking to my cheek. I laughed, and at the sound, Cael squeezed me just a bit tighter.

A throat cleared behind us. Cael released me, and Stephan stood there. With his blond hair and blue eyes, he reminded me of Rune. "This is the famous Savannah?" he asked, and I felt my cheeks blaze at his words. Stephan hit Cael's chest. "I love the guy, but if I have to hear about you one more time, my head might just explode."

"Dick," Cael said but laughed at his friend.

Stephan winked at me. "Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Savannah." Stephan hugged Cael. "I'll see you back at the dorm."

Cael threw his arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. "Come with me, Peaches. We have some catching up to do."

Cael

I led Savannah out toward my car in the parking lot. I threw my bag in the Jeep, then held out my hand. Savannah took it without hesitation. "Walk with me?" I asked.

"Anywhere," she said, smiling. Fuck. I couldn't believe she was here with me. It felt like a dream. I'd focused on her for so long, all those long hard days at the retreat. Especially on the hardest days, when I didn't think I could do it anymore, it was Savannah's face and her phone calls that kept me strong.

When she shivered against the first chills of fall, I ran back and took a jacket out of the trunk of my car. It reminded me how she had struggled in the Lake District and Norway, my Georgia Peach needing her sun. I held it out, and Savannah laughed when she put it on and it drowned her petite frame.

I couldn't imagine her looking more perfect than she did with my name on her back. We cut through campus in comfortable silence and made our way to a brightly lit park. We sat on a secluded bench, only a few dog walkers milling about the pathways nearby. I squeezed her hand, bringing her fingers to my mouth. I kissed her. I couldn't stop.

She was here.

She was actually here.

"Cael—" She went to say something, but I spoke before she could.

"It was so hard, Sav." The adrenaline from tonight was waning, and fatigue was settling in.

Savannah inched closer, and I turned to her. She was already watching me. I couldn't take my eyes off her, like she was some mirage I had conjured up in therapy and if I looked away, she'd disappear.

"I'm here," she said. But it was like my heart needed to understand she wasn't some fever dream. My girl was in Boston; we were here together. Ready to start our lives together.

I inhaled deeply and said, "It was so hard. But I had to get better. For you, for us, I had to—"

"No," Savannah said, shaking her head. "Not better, Cael. You were healing . You were grieving. There is no better or worse to that. It just is. Your heart was broken, and you were mending it, day by day. And you have succeeded." She put her hand on my cheek and made me meet her tenacious blue stare. "You never needed to get better for me. You were always enough. Even when you were deep in the trenches. You were always enough."

Hell, had there ever been anyone who had fought for someone more than this girl had fought for me?

"I'm the luckiest guy on the planet. Do you know that?" I said and kissed Savannah's cold cheek. I closed my eyes, just feeling her against me. "I get to live my life with you, Peaches. I get to give you my heart—as patched up and as scarred as it is." Her lip wobbled, and I ran my thumb over it, blue eyes shining. "You have it, and I get to have your beautiful heart and soul in return." I pointed at myself. "Luckiest guy."

"We both are," she said and smoothed my hair back from my face. It was still damp from my post-game shower. Savannah smiled, and I knew I'd give her the entire world to make her stay that way. "We are alive, we are stronger, and we are together. That's what makes us lucky. That …" She trailed off and looked up at the stars beginning to shine.

I followed her line of sight, then asked, "That what?"

Savannah turned back to me. Her dimples popped as she smiled, and I wanted to commit how she looked right now to memory. "That we have walked a rough path to get to this happiness. And because of that, we will never take our life together for granted." My heart pounded. Because everything she said was true. Savannah kissed the back of my hand. Over my tattooed heart. She ran her hand over the black ink, then looked back at me and said, "We have lost. We know what it is to grieve and miss someone so badly we can't breathe. But because of that loss, we will love deeper, support each other further, and show up for one another harder. Loss teaches us how to cherish love. That is our future, Cael. Loving one another in the best way we know how—completely."

"I love you, Savannah. I'll never stop telling you that."

She smiled. "And I'll never stop accepting it." I laughed, and Savannah followed, the heaviness breaking apart into light pieces around us.

When our laughter fell away, she said, "I have something for you. But I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I don't know if I've done the right thing."

The trepidation in her voice was evident. "Nothing you could do would be bad, baby," I said. Yet the worried expression on Savannah's face remained. She searched my eyes, then put her hand into her pocket. When she raised her hand, in the center of her palm, was Cillian's goodbye to me, his apology scribbled down on my treasured old Bruins ticket. The one that I had destroyed in Japan.

Only this ticket had been carefully reconstructed with golden lacquer. My breathing came heavy as I stared at this beautifully patched-up ticket lying in Savannah's gentle hand.

"I found it when you left." Her voice was quiet and filled with emotion. "When you'd gone … I went in your hotel room just because …" Savannah swallowed. "I saw your note to me, and then I saw this on the floor, ripped up. When I placed the pieces back together, I realized what they were. I immediately took it back to my room and fixed it back together with the kintsugi kit Aika had given us." She blinked then, meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just thought—"

I crushed my mouth to Savannah's, cutting off whatever she was about to say. She had done this for me. She had taken my biggest regret and made it right. And she had made it more beautiful, because she had fixed it out of love for me. Out of love for my brother, who she had never met.

When I broke from her kiss, breathless and so fucking grateful for my girl, I whispered, "Thank you. Thank you so much, baby."

I took the ticket, which was safe inside a clear plastic envelope, and placed it in my pocket. I had it back. I had a piece of my brother back with me again. The relief was overwhelming.

"This is it," I said to Savannah.

"What?" she asked, leaning into my side, her head on my bicep. I couldn't resist dropping a kiss to her head.

"The start of our forever," I said and felt hope run through my veins. It felt so good that it was heady.

"Forever," Savannah echoed.

"We're here, at college together. I get to see you every day. I get to play hockey, get to be myself again. And you … you get to be a doctor, baby. I get to be your guy …"

"I get to be your girl," she said, happiness in her tone.

"And we get to live life together."

Life. The strangest ride of ups and downs and heartache and loss. But also, a life with the world, the stars and the sun, joy and love.

And of course, love. Love above most.