27 Homeward Hearts and Healing Souls

Homeward Hearts and Healing Souls

Savannah

A S WE BEGAN OUR DESCENT, I PULLED OUT THE LETTER C AEL HAD LEFT ME and read it one more time. At this point, it was committed to memory. But still, I read. Because it made me feel closer to him, even though he was miles away.

Peaches,

Please don't be mad that I left. But I have to go. To be the man I need to be for you, for me, I need to go with Leo.

Please don't think this means I'm leaving you. It's the opposite. I am going so that, when we meet again, nothing will separate us. So that nothing will get in our way, and we can have the future we dreamed of. You are the love of my life.

When I came on this trip, I was shattered into a thousand broken pieces. But one by one, the closer we grew to one another, you glued me back together. I'm not fully healed yet, but I am determined to do it for us.

I love you, Peaches. Give me time, and I will run back to you as quickly as I can.

I love you,

Cael

I put the letter down and took out my cell phone. I'd been so angry at him for leaving me without saying goodbye. After everything we'd been through, I felt he owed me that much. In that moment, he had broken my heart. But when I spoke to him … I heard it. I heard how shattered he was. But I also heard the determination in his voice.

I ran my finger over the text he had sent me.

CAEL:

Harvard

I smiled and my heart swelled. That was what we were aiming for. I had started this trip wanting to heal enough to attend Harvard to become a doctor. It was still the goal, only this time it offered me so much more than I could have ever imagined. It now offered me a lifetime with Cael. A lifetime of loving him, of being by his side.

When the plane touched down in Atlanta, I sighed in happiness at the heat that gusted into the plane when the flight attendant opened the exit door. I turned on my phone. A text from Cael immediately came through.

CAEL:

I'm here at the retreat. They take away our phones except for a few times a week. I'll message and call when I can. I love you and miss you.

My heart fluttered. I had total faith in him. If some time away from each other was the trade-off for keeping him forever, then I could happily live with that.

I deplaned and went to collect my luggage. The doors had barely opened into arrivals when I heard, "SAVANNAH!" I looked up just in time for Ida to come crashing into my arms.

I laughed as she jumped and threw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed. We laughed, and the sound was a symphony to my ears.

My sister.

My little sister.

Ida smacked a kiss to my cheek. "I've missed you so much!" she said and moved back. Her mouth dropped open dramatically as she surveyed me. "You look incredible, Sav!" She leaned in close. "Is this because of Cael?"

I laughed at her suggestive face. I had missed her. And not just on this trip. I had missed her for four years. I hadn't let her in. That would change from now on.

"I've missed you," I said and pulled her back to me. "Sorry for not being there for you."

Ida inched back and met my gaze. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "Are you back?" she asked tentatively.

"I'm back," I said, relief and promise in every word.

"I have my sister back!" she said dramatically, then kissed my cheek.

It felt glorious.

"Honey!" My mama's arms were safe and warm as she swallowed me in a hug, and my daddy wrapped his arms around us all, Ida too.

He kissed my hair. "All my girls, back on home ground." I knew he meant Poppy too, who was waiting for us in the Blossom Grove. Months ago, those words would have broken me. Now? They were perfection.

"Let's get you home," Mama said, and Daddy went and collected my luggage. I smiled as the Georgian sun kissed my face, the warm breeze wrapping around us as it whispered, "Welcome home."

Home. There was nothing quite like it.

In the car, Ida regaled me with every bit of her life since I'd been gone. As we entered the house, a million memories swirled around me. If I closed my eyes, I could almost hear the echo of three young girls laughing, chasing one another up the stairs. It was heavenly. My heart swelled when I realized I could walk in this home and feel comforted by the memories of Poppy here and not be paralyzed. It was once again my sanctuary, not my prison.

I showered and got changed out of my travel clothes, all the time wondering how Cael was doing at the retreat. I ached for what I knew he would go through, but I begged the universe to help him through. To make him stronger on the other side.

I left my room and went to make my way into the living room. Mama was cooking dinner, the smells filling the house. But as I passed Poppy's room, rather than walk on by, like I'd done so many times before, I opened the door. It was unchanged. I went to the window and looked outside. I knew this was where she had written in her notebook to me. I ran my hand over the seat and whispered, "Thank you."

As I opened my eyes, I laughed. When I looked through the window, Alton Kristiansen was sitting in the window seat of Rune's old room.

I waved, and he waved back looking like a mini-Rune, and for a moment, I almost felt like a young Poppy, looking out at the boy she adored. I ran my hand over her desk, her bed, and whispered, "Love you, Poppy."

I shut the door behind me. Ida was waiting in the hallway. "You okay?" she asked carefully.

"I am," I said, proud to say I was. There would always be a part of me that was sad because of losing Poppy. But that was loss. That was grief. We were always a little bit scarred. But we could move on. At whatever pace we needed.

"So, now you're back and we have all the time in the world, tell me every detail about Cael," Ida said. I had told her all about him when we had talked on the phone and through text. It had felt good, speaking to a sister like that again.

"He left early," I said, and Mama and Daddy listened in too. We sat at the kitchen table. "He needed to return to the States for more help."

"You had to pick the boy with the tattoos, didn't you?" my daddy said, bringing a smirk to my face. Ida laughed loudly at his description of the boy who held my heart in his palms.

"He's not just a boy with tattoos, Daddy ," Ida said. "He's the love of her life!" My face burned under my parents' attention. They knew Cael and I were together. But only Ida knew just how much I loved him.

Daddy huffed, then said, "Is that true, baby? You love this boy?"

I sobered, thinking about Cael. How I wanted nothing more than to protect him from hurt and to live in his arms. "He's …" I trailed off, trying to explain. Then, with a knowing smile, I said, "He's my Rune."

My daddy's stern face fell into softness. My mama reached out and held my hand.

"That's so romantic," Ida said wistfully. "I want my own Rune too." Daddy glared at Ida, which brought a burst of laughter to my mouth.

"Why does he need more help?" my daddy asked. So I told them. I told them why Cael was there. I'd kept most of his story private out of respect for him. But they would meet him someday, I was sure. They would be a support to him too. To be that, they needed to know everything.

"Bless that boy," Mama whispered, sadness in her voice. Daddy reached across and held my hand. Silently supportive.

"He's strong and he's so brave. So kind and patient and loves me more than life," I said.

Ida laid her head on my shoulder. "He just needs more time."

I nodded. "He's hurting, but I know he'll get through it."

My family ate together, and we laughed. When the meal was done, I walked into the blossom grove and gasped. Each year was the same, yet each year made a brand-new tapestry out of the small, secluded grove. Petals of white and pink were in full bloom. And beneath them all was a white marble headstone, shining just as brightly. As I reached Poppy's grave, I smiled, seeing the picture of me and Rune in Kyoto taped to the bottom.

I sat down, allowing the warm breeze to dance around my hair. I sighed, then with unwavering doubt, said, "Poppy … I'm going to Harvard."