Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Ryker

I’m going to choke the maddening, stubborn woman.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to maintain an air of calm indifference as Ellery and I parted again, but did she have to be so maddening ? Why couldn’t she simply say yes and meet me in the gardens? I was the one who barely walked away from our last encounter, not her.

But if she made things easy, she wouldn’t be Ellery.

And no matter how much she pissed me off, I wouldn’t want her any other way.

Trying to get her to meet me in the gardens wasn’t working, and the more I pushed, the more she dug in her heels. I’d have to choke some sense into her… except I wouldn’t.

The idea of touching her in such a way made my stomach curdle even as I gritted my teeth against my rising temper. I compelled myself not to look murderous as I moved from one dancer to another; I couldn’t scare the earl’s guests or reveal anything to my father.

I had to figure out how to get Ellery to meet me, but I didn’t know how. I could apologize; I hated the idea of doing it, but it would help, and I could admit that maybe I’d been overbearing about the minstrel.

I’d apologized to her before and I would do it again. I just wasn’t sure it would be enough.

She was pissed, and I supposed she had a right to be, but she didn’t have to be so stubborn about it. I’d known a lot of immortals, but she might be the strongest-willed one I’d ever encountered.

She had an indomitable spirit and a giant heart. That was why I loved her so much and always feared for her. And I did love her.

She may not know it, but she’d captured my heart months ago. I’d tried to bury my feelings for her under a mountain of hate, but they refused to be squashed.

For months, I’d told myself that I would move on from her with other women and booze. But the memory of Ellery was always there, haunting me like one of the ghosts in the Revenant Woods.

I couldn’t fuck anyone but her. I’d tried to be aroused by others and failed to become so, more than a few times.

The memory of having those women in my lap, their lips on mine, and their hands on my body made my still sore dick shrivel. She was the only woman I craved, and we’d become trapped in this constant loop of bickering, antagonism, distrust, and love.

It was a loop I intended to break.

The next partner they spun toward me turned out to be Bria. Her brown eyes danced, and she beamed at me as she moved through the Catari.

“You’re doing well for your first time,” I remarked.

“Your father taught me the dance before we came. He said we would most likely be doing it, and he was right. It is great fun.”

We had differing ideas of fun, but… “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Thank you. Are you having fun?”

“Of course,” I lied.

When her head tilted to the side, I sensed she knew I was lying, but it didn’t matter. She had no idea of my history, and even if she remarked on it to my father, he knew I hated these things.

I would have to figure out what to do about Bria and my father, but she was a concern for another day. Right now, I had to figure out how to get Ellery alone, and the only thing I could think to do was tell her the truth.

But the truth posed a major problem. I didn’t like the idea of making myself vulnerable to her or anyone else.

It has to come out eventually; why not now?

And that was a very good question. I would do whatever it took to get her to listen to me and have her as mine again, even if it meant opening myself up to her in a way I hadn’t since learning she’d lied about the Hooded Robber and walked out of my life.

But am I ready for that?