13. The Right Person

The following Saturday morning, Knox was home and getting ready to mow the lawn. Thankfully he didn't have that much of a backyard to take care of in terms of lawn maintenance. He'd put in a nice patio area and had a small patch of grass that could have a swing set or a place for a dog or kids at some point.

If he ever got there.

For the past few years he'd been hoping but didn't know if it'd happen.

Maybe he was waiting for the right person to cross his path and she finally did.

Not that he'd ever tell anyone that.

He'd sound like an idiot...or a wuss.

Yeah, better to keep that information to himself.

Though things were going great with him and Sage, it hadn't even been quite a month.

He was just opening the backdoor when his phone went off. He didn't have it on him. Didn't need it for doing work around the yard.

It's not like too many people were reaching out to him on the weekends unless it was for a work emergency, and in his eyes, he was entitled to some time away from his job.

Though he was committed to his business, he didn't have to bust his ass to make ends meet.

When he saw it was his mother calling, he was going to walk away from it, but he hadn't talked to her in...he couldn't remember.

They didn't talk. They might text a few times a year and that was birthdays or holidays and being cordial more than anything.

There were times he wanted to wipe her from his life but couldn't do it. He couldn't be that cold and it would make him no better than her.

If he learned one thing from his father, it was forgiveness. Or so he was trying. He just couldn't seem to forgive himself.

"Hello," he said when he hit the button. Maybe it was important or an emergency. Hard to say, but it wouldn't hurt to find out.

"Knox," his mother said. "I wasn't sure if you'd pick up the phone or not."

"I did," he said. "What's up?"

"That's not much of a greeting," his mother said.

"If you thought I wouldn't pick up then what kind of greeting were you expecting I'd give you?"

There was silence on the other end. "Good point," his mother said.

"Then what is going on?" he asked.

"I hate to ask you this." She paused and he held back his sigh. "But Blaze's tuition is due and I'm falling short."

He should have expected this. When his mother found out his father had hit the lotto for millions years ago, she'd been more livid than he had ever seen.

Karla Bradford had wiped her hands of Dan Bradford twenty years ago. She'd never changed her name, never remarried, but the divorce was as fast as his father could do it.

You'd think that his father had this money back then or that his mother actually loved his father with the way she reacted when he won the lotto.

She acted like she'd been robbed of something and had cursed and sworn for the entire five months she'd known about it until his father passed.

When Knox was left everything, that was when things got even worse between his mother and him.

"Not my problem," he said. "It's your kid. Hit up Blaze's father. Or don't remember who it is? We know it's not my father."

"Are you ever going to let me live this down?" his mother asked.

"No," he said. "You made your choices in life. You chose other men over Dad."

"He wasn't an easy man to be around. He wasn't someone who ever let anyone in. Maybe if he did I wouldn't have strayed."

"Don't go there again," he snapped. Knox wasn't going to listen to his father get shit on anymore. "If that was your biggest issue then when you were divorced you wouldn't have cheated on every man you had a relationship with. You're a serial cheater because you want what you want when you want it. If the person you are with can't give it to you, you find someone else. No one stays with you, not the other way around."

"That is a horrible thing to say," his mother said.

"The truth can be that way," he said. "We don't need to hash everything out again. I'm over it."

"I told you how your father was," his mother said.

"In your eyes. Your relationship with him had nothing to do with me. My biggest issue is what you said about him to me. Lies to make me not want to be with him. To resent him. And I spent years being pissed when I was forced to spend time with him."

Time he could have used to get to know his father more.

To have a relationship with the man.

Was there some truth to the fact that he and his father didn't have a lot in common? Or that Dan Bradford just had social issues and couldn't connect with anyone?

Yeah, there were.

But his students loved him, so he was able to connect with people on a short-term level.

None of that mattered now.

His father tried and gave him space and acceptance when he was a kid in the middle of a horrible situation.

"I'm sorry," his mother said. "How many times do you want me to apologize?"

"There is no number," he said. "There is no reason to do it. It's only words. Words mean nothing with no actions."

His mother let out a loud huff. "What kind of actions do you want me to have? You never want to talk to me or spend time with me. You never call or reach out."

"Because every time we talk you want something. You say negative shit about Dad. You just can't stop yourself from doing it. Whatever your beef is with him, that's on you. But he's been out of your life for twenty years and he's been gone for over five. Let it go. You do the same shit with Blaze's father. You can't seem to move on."

"Zach is a useless piece of crap," his mother said. "He stopped paying support at eighteen for Blaze."

"So you do remember his name," he said.

"Don't be a jerk," his mother said. "You know damn well I know who Blaze's father is."

Zach didn't last long but longer than most of the other men. Probably because there was a kid involved.

The guy was younger than his father, had a job in construction and moved around with it a lot.

The only thing that allowed Knox to finish his last four years in the same high school was that his mother didn't want to travel with Zach.

So they'd moved to Delaware where Zach worked for eighteen months, which got him through two years of school, then his mother stayed there when Zach started to be on the road for months at a time. She'd found other men to fill that gap, and when Zach realized it, he was gone for good.

But good old Mom had men lined up to take care of her.

Once Knox had graduated and was off to trade school, he didn't give two craps where she lived. He could work and support himself, but at that point, he started to spend more time with his father and was told he'd have a place either at the house near Mystic or with his father closer to Yale.

It was what he needed to hear and found the freedom he'd lost when he was yanked out of state by his cheating lying mother.

"Then you can call Zach to help with tuition. Or better yet, have Blaze ask."

"Blaze did ask. Zach doesn't have it. He doesn't have to pay for it. I know Zach gives Blaze money, but Blaze never tells me."

"And he shouldn't have to," he said. "You've said it before, that Zach's obligation to you ended at eighteen. Most kids have to pay for their own college. I think it's nice Zach still helps Blaze out, but you and I know that he doesn't have to."

"Your father paid for your education," his mother said.

"Because he wanted to," he said. "Again, I know all these things because you like to air your dirty laundry out. He stopped paying you when I turned eighteen, but he was always going to pay for my education, whatever it was. He did. End of story. If that isn't the agreement you had with Zach, that is on you. What's the matter, are you between men right now?"

There was more silence to that statement. He didn't keep up; it was too hard to and not worth it.

His mother lived in Virginia now. She'd moved there with some man when Blaze was starting high school.

There was part of him that felt bad for his half brother because he'd felt that sting too.

But Blaze and he were different people.

His brother was more outgoing and friendly. Not nerdy in the least either.

Though Blaze wasn't as big as him, he was still about six foot and had been above average in height and build all through school.

No late bloomer there.

It's not that he didn't get along with Blaze, but they were twelve years apart and didn't spend any time together.

His mother made it difficult for him to visit for any holiday or anything once he moved out and had a home base with his father

Then he got his own place once he'd gotten a job. He didn't want to take advantage of anything.

"No," his mother said. "I've been living with Shane for six months."

News to him, but he didn't care. He was sure Blaze didn't either.

"And you've got a job."

"Having a job and coming up with five thousand dollars are two different things," his mother said. "You have it. Why can't you help?"

"Because Blaze isn't my kid and thanks to you we don't even have much of a relationship. He's not in trouble." Which in his eyes would be different. "He's in college. I'm sure he gets aid like most kids. Five thousand a semester for a loan isn't the end of the world. Actually it's pretty low compared to a lot of kids."

"You're impossible," his mother said. "I don't know why I even try. That's nothing to you in terms of money and you know it."

"Mom, I'm done with this conversation."

He hung up after.

What he hated more was the fact he was beating himself up over this while he did his chores.

Jesus.

Why was he feeling guilty over this?

Blaze wasn't his responsibility.

Just because he felt some sympathy over the life Blaze had, which wasn't much different than his.

At least he thought so. It's not like they talked much.

They had nothing in common and were so far apart in age.

Thirty minutes later, he was in the house and went to take a shower.

When he was done washing up, the guilt was still eating at him.

He picked his phone up and sent a text to his half-brother asking him if it was true and if he needed money for tuition or was their mother just trying to hit him up for money like she always did.

It was an hour later when Blaze replied that his loan was being held up, but it'd be fine. No worries.

He could let it go but didn't. He just couldn't and called Blaze.

"Hey, Knox," Blaze said when he answered. Blaze was always upbeat.

"Hi," he said. "Sorry to bother you. I probably woke you up."

"It's fine," Blaze said. "I'm up and getting ready to go to work."

"You're working?" he asked.

"Yeah," Blaze said. "Waiting tables on the weekend. Last night I had the dinner crowd and worked until closing. The same tonight, but I'm tutoring a few groups too, so that is what I'll be doing before I go to the restaurant. Don't worry about the tuition. Not sure what Mom is up to. The loan is going to be processed. It's just some glitch on the bank's end."

He had no idea what Blaze was going to college for. Or that he was smart enough to even be tutoring other kids.

What he knew was that his half brother never asked him for anything. Ever.

The young guy had a job since he turned sixteen and bought his car with the help of his father. He knew Blaze did have a relationship with Zach and visited his father often.

Maybe he was jealous that he didn't have that with his own father. That Zach and Blaze got along well even though Zach was on the road and in different states for work all the time.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I know you won't ask me for anything."

"It's all good," Blaze said.

He normally sent his brother decent holiday gifts. Most times gift cards with a few things to open. When Blaze graduated from high school, he'd given him a laptop to get him ready for college. Then sent him a TV and mini fridge for his dorm room. Things he knew his half brother would appreciate.

"So Mom is trying to pull one over on me?" he asked.

"No clue," Blaze said. "I didn't even know she was aware there was a holdup with the bank. It's not like she is cosigning it or anything."

"Then how would she know?" he asked.

"Could be she signed into the parent portal to check the bill," Blaze said. "She can do that. She has the username for it from when I started. My dad does too. I mean, Mom has paid for the meal plan or my father has when they can. Or put money on my account here for books or activities."

At least his mother was doing something for the past few years.

But he was more inclined to think his mother was looking to be nosy and see if Zach was doing things for Blaze that she wouldn't be told.

"That's probably it," he said. "She didn't see it was paid then."

"Most likely. The school is fine. They aren't going to make me pay fees or anything. I got a letter from the bank that the loan is coming. I do appreciate you calling and checking though."

"No problem," Knox said. He felt better at least. "If you need anything, just reach out directly. You know that, right?"

"I do," Blaze said. "But it's not on you. You're not my parent."

Blaze was laughing. "I know," Knox said. "But...not to speak ill of Mom…"

"No need to speak ill of it," Blaze said. "We know what she's like, but she's still our mother."

Blaze was just much more accepting than him. Had to have gotten that trait from his father.

Knox hated that he probably got the unforgiving and not accepting trait from his mother, but he was trying to turn it around.

"She is," he said. "Which is why I answered the call but then told her no."

"I'm sure more was said than that." Blaze was still laughing.

"She brings the worst out in me. I didn't know if she'd call and tell you I said no. The truth is, if you need it, I'll help. I'm just not helping her."

"Understood," Blaze said. "I kind of feel the same way. I always knew I'd need loans. Pretty much everyone does. That's why I work as hard as I do to pay them off quickly or have the bare minimum. It's life. Not everyone gets left millions."

It was said tongue-in-cheek and not in a mean way.

"No," he said. "Not everyone does. I shouldn't have it now. It still should be with my father, if he was here to enjoy it."

"I know," Blaze said. "No amount of money makes that better."

"It doesn't," he said. "Seriously, reach out if you need anything. I mean it."

"Will do, but I won't."

Which he figured would be the answer.

"Talk to you later," he said and disconnected the call.

Knox wasn't sure if he felt better or not, but the guilt was at least a little lessened that his brother might be dumpster diving for food because his meal plan at college wasn't paid for.

He noticed it was lunchtime, which explained why he was so hungry. He'd get something light because he and Sage had plans that included dinner later and hopefully back to her place for the night since they didn't see each other yesterday as she'd had plans with some coworkers.

It was nice she still had her life and friends. He wanted that for anyone he dated. He wasn't someone who had to be around a significant other nonstop and didn't want to come off that way.

But he would admit he did miss her.