Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

" T hanks a lot, asshole," Eric said, snatching the cake knife out of Nathan's hand and made short work of cutting a huge slice of their mother's triple-layered double chocolate cake with fudge and peanut butter frosting. He plopped the huge slice of cake in a bowl and tossed the knife behind him in the sink.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Real mature, dipshit." He made a move to steal Eric's cake, only to have his hand slapped away. "Ow! What the hell?"

"What's going on in here?" Alice asked in the same exasperated tone she'd used when they were teenagers and she'd caught them smoking. At least she didn't look like she was about to make them smoke an entire carton of cigarettes this time.

"Nothing," they both grumbled.

She made her way around the counter and grabbed a clean knife out of the drawer as she looked at Nathan, only to frown. "Sweetie, shouldn't you be getting Caitlyn a slice of cake?"

"I was trying to," Nathan bit out, rubbing the back of his hand as he glared at Eric.

Their mother let out a sigh as she grabbed more plates. She raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Eric. "I'm assuming you're getting Joe a plate."

Eric looked pointedly at the large slice of cake he'd grabbed as he scooped out some M&M ice cream.

"Are you getting Camie a slice as well?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"And encourage her stalker tendencies? I don't think so," Eric said, shaking his head in disgust.

Nathan chuckled as he looked over his shoulder to make sure that the three of them were still alone in the kitchen before glancing back at their mother. "Seriously, Mom, what were you thinking? That woman is terrifying," Nathan said, feigning a shudder.

Eric sucked ice cream off his finger. "Thank God, I thought it was just me," he said with a sigh. "Seriously, Mom, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking," she said as she expertly sliced and placed four slices of cake onto small plates, "that it would be nice to see my youngest son settle down and give me grandchildren before I die."

"I'm only thirty, woman. Besides, I don't see you trying to rush Nathan into getting married."

"I don't have to set Nathan up-"

"Something I truly appreciate, by the way," Nathan muttered.

"-because he puts himself out there and doesn't have a problem keeping a steady girlfriend," their mother finished as she began scooping ice cream onto the plates, making sure to give Nathan an extra scoop of chocolate swirl.

"Fine, but you don't do this to Joe either," Eric said as he grabbed two spoons and stabbed them into the large slice of cake.

She waved his comment off like it was nothing. "I'm not worried about Joe. She dates when she wants to. When she's ready to settle down, she will."

"How exactly is that different from what I'm doing?" Eric demanded, shaking his head in disgust.

"Because you, my baby boy, have never had a steady girlfriend." She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to argue. "Beth doesn't count. You dated for maybe a month before you got engaged, and then, you were together for another two weeks and I don't think I saw you treat her as anything more than just a friend. You keep all your relationships casual. It's past time you had a serious girlfriend. Then, we can work on getting you married," she said with a hopeful smile.

"I just haven't met anyone that was worth getting serious about. Has that occurred to you?' Eric asked.

She smiled. "That's why I invite women over, so that you have a chance to meet someone new."

"Mom, I meet new people every day," Eric pointed out.

"It doesn't kill you to let me help you," she said, placing two plates in Nathan's hands.

"Well, maybe he'd be more receptive to your matchmaking if they weren't frightening as hell," Nathan pointed out.

"She's not that bad, is she?" Alice asked, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

When they both glared at her, she said, "Well, she seemed so nice at the grocery store. We talked a few times and she said that she would like to meet a nice guy, so," she shrugged her shoulders, "I thought I'd introduce the two of you."

"I'm touched," Eric said dryly.

"Here," she said as she shoved one of the plates in his direction. "Bring this to Camie so that I can get the coffee."

Grumbling, Eric carried the plates into the living room. He found Camie sitting on the loveseat, glaring at him like he'd just forgotten their anniversary. Without a word, he shoved the plate in her hand. He ignored her gasp of outrage and walked over to one of the overstuffed grey couches, wondering where Joe was.

It had been a good twenty minutes since she'd discovered that he'd smothered her with a pillow. Such a drama queen, Eric thought as he plopped down on the couch.

"Where'd Joe go?" he asked around a huge spoonful of cake and ice cream.

Caitlyn cleared her throat as she said, "She left."

"Left?" Eric asked, placing his bowl down on the coffee table as his gaze shot over to Camie, who was still fucking glaring at him. Oh, he was going to spank Joe's ass raw for this. He couldn't believe she'd leave him with this woman just because he may have inadvertently smothered her. Nothing he did to her warranted this. Oh, when he got his hands on her-

"You should have just said that you were gay instead of wasting my time," Camie snapped angrily right around the time that Nathan and their mother walked into the room before she got to her feet and stormed out of the house.

What the hell?

Gay?

Him?

Not a chance in hell.

Three pairs of eyes turned on him as the sound of the front door slamming shut echoed throughout the suddenly quiet house.

Eric forced himself to remain calm as he asked, "Why does she think I'm gay?"

"You mean you're not?" Nathan asked, blinking innocently.

Their mother sighed heavily as she reached up and slapped her oldest son upside the head.

"Ow! What the hell, woman?"

"Would you people focus? Why does that lunatic think I'm gay?"

"Joe may have led her to believe that," Caitlyn said quietly, drawing everyone's attention.

Eric thought over that little revelation and, after a few minutes, shrugged it off. As long as the psycho was gone, he really didn't care how it happened, Eric decided as he sat back down and dug into his cake. Granted, he may decide to make Joe's life a living hell on the boat for a couple days after this. It really depended on if he was bored or not. For Joe's sake, she better hope the fish were biting this weekend.