Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
" I 'll see you Sunday night, Joe. We'll talk then," Eric said as she bit back a disappointed sigh.
He wasn't coming with her.
When she mentioned that the hotel was on a large lake known for its insanely large bass and trout, he didn't even bat an eye as he wished her a safe drive. At first, she thought he was dying. Eric never passed up an opportunity to go fishing. That's when she realized that he was giving her space so that they could both think over everything that happened.
"I think we both need time to figure out what we want and where we should go from here," Eric explained as he took a step back, already putting distance between them, she noted. "A few days apart will do us both some good."
She didn't need to ask to know that he was hoping that what happened between them was just a one-time thing so that they could move on and pretend that it never happened. She didn't even need to ask to know why.
He was a coward.
What was happening between them scared her too, but she was willing to take a chance. She loved him and she knew that he loved her, but Eric didn't know how to make this work and she sure as hell wasn't going force him to do this.
If he didn't love her enough to risk everything, then she didn't want him. She wanted a man who loved her and would do anything for her, not someone who couldn't be bothered to try. He would still be her best friend because she knew that she couldn't live without him, but she'd move on. One day, she'd find a man who thought she was worth the risk.
If Eric wanted her, then he was going to have to make the first move because she was done.
"Are you going to keep checking your phone or are you going to watch the game?" Nathan asked as he grabbed another beer.
Eric didn't bother answering him as he placed his phone back on top of the pizza box, where he could keep an eye on it. Then, he snatched the beer out of Nathan's hand and took a sip, hoping to piss him off.
Nathan let out a snort of disgust as he grabbed another beer. "I don't know how Joe puts up with you."
He didn't know either and that was part of the problem. He loved her so damn much and he didn't have anything to offer her. The last twenty-four hours was going to have to be enough to last him for the rest of his life because he couldn't do this and after this weekend, Joe would realize that too.
"Why are you here?" Nathan asked, thankfully drawing him out of his rather depressing thoughts.
"I live here," Eric said, frowning in confusion.
"I meant, why are you here instead of with Joe in New Hampshire?"
"Because I'm not taking a class," Eric said, hoping his brother would just let it go.
He should have known better.
"Since when has that stopped you? Is she still pissed at you?"
Eric did his best not to cringe at the question. Was she still pissed at him? No, but he'd be willing to bet that by the end of this weekend that he wouldn't be her favorite person anymore. It was hard to miss the hurt expression on her face when he told her that he wasn't going with her only to intensify when he told her that he wouldn't be calling her either. The accusing glare that quickly followed had turned his stomach.
She probably thought that he'd used her and she'd be right. He knew that he couldn't have a lifetime with her, so he greedily took a night with her. When she got back, she'd be pissed, but he knew that she'd get over it and in time, they'd go back to the way things were and last night would just be another fond memory, Eric told himself as he crushed the can in his hand.
"Everything's fine," Eric said, tossing the crushed can into the small wastebasket by the couch.
"If you say so," Nathan said, shrugging it off.
"I do."
"Then, you'll be happy to know that Joe just responded to the text message you made me send her."
"What did she say?" Eric asked, trying to sound casual.
Nathan sent him an amused look as he said, "That she arrived safely. Hasn't checked into her hotel yet because she had to go straight to the school. She said it's boring and that she hates you."
"What?" Eric asked, snatching Nathan's phone away from him. He found her message and scrolled down and-
"She didn't say that," Eric said, turning an accusing glare on his brother.
Nathan shrugged, taking back his phone. "It was insinuated."
"Bastard," Eric muttered, turning his attention back to the game. He had absolutely no idea who was playing since all he could think about was Joe.
Last night, she'd surpassed every one of his fantasies. Well, the fantasies they had time to play out. There were still thousands of fantasies that they hadn't had time for and never would. Besides, the fact that he wouldn't allow himself to touch her again there was also the issue of work.
He may have dropped the subject for now, but he was still trying to figure out a way to get her off the truck. Right now, he was hoping that she enjoyed the dispatcher class enough to go full-time with it. If not, he was going to have to figure out another way to get her off the truck. Maybe she'd meet some guy and start a family, Eric thought.
The idea of another man touching her turned his stomach and made him want to hit something. He didn't want anyone else touching her or giving her children, but one day, that would happen. It would be the worst day of his life, but if she was happy that's all that mattered. He could pretend to be happy for her and act like he didn't want to kill the bastard.
As long as Joe was happy and safe, he could do anything.
"You want to talk about it?" Nathan asked.
"Not even a little fucking bit."
"It would probably help to talk about it."
Eric turned a glare on his brother. "Would you like to get something off your chest?"
The scowl Nathan sent his way was answer enough. He mumbled something before turning his attention back to the game. Good. He didn't want to talk about Joe any more than Nathan wanted to talk about Caitlyn. As long as Nathan kept his ass close by so that he could manipulate the bastard into sending text messages to Joe for him, then he didn't care if his brother was pissed. He had his own shit to deal with and he didn't-
"She's not Joe," Nathan said softly, grabbing his attention in a big fucking way.
"What?" Eric asked, frowning in confusion.
"I ended things with Caitlyn because she's not Joe," Nathan admitted.
"Oh, I see," Eric said slowly as his brain struggled to comprehend what Nathan said, and when it did, he found himself on top of Nathan and beating the shit out of him.
"Stop!" Nathan snapped, but he couldn't. He knew Nathan would be the perfect man for Joe and that he should just step back and wish him well, but jealousy was a bitch and currently had him beating the shit out of his brother.
The fight quickly turned into a wrestling match with Eric trying to get in a few more shots at his brother while Nathan did his best to shove Eric away.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he slammed his elbow into Eric's gut to get him off.
"You want Joe," Eric said, moving to throttle the bastard.
Nathan's horrified look made him go still. "I don't want Joe!" he snapped, looking like he was going to be sick.
"What the hell is wrong with Joe?" he demanded, pissed on Joe's behalf.
"She's my sister, asshole! Now, get the hell off me!" Nathan said, shoving him away.
Eric got to his feet and wiped at the blood dripping from his nose. Well, it looked as though Nathan got in a few shots. Thankfully, his brother didn't break his nose, but it still hurt like a bitch.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he wiped blood off his lip with the back of his hand.
"What's yours?" Eric demanded right back.
"You are!" Nathan snapped, looking ready to kill him.
"What did I do?"
"Joe!" Nathan shot back, shoving a frustrated hand through his hair as he started pacing Eric's small living room.
"What about her?" Eric asked, wondering if Nathan had any idea what happened between them.
"You're a fucking idiot," Nathan practically snarled.
"You want to explain that?" Eric bit out tightly as he took an aggressive step towards his brother. Between the bullshit at work and what happened with Joe, he wasn't in the mood for any more bullshit.
"You have a woman who is beyond perfect for you, who loves you, and who would walk on glass for you and you don't even fucking see it!" Nathan bit out.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Eric said evenly.
"Bullshit!" Nathan snapped, getting in his face. "You love her. I know you do and she loves you. I've seen the way you look at her. I know that the two of you have a connection that most people dream about," he said before muttering, "I would kill to have a woman who made me feel the way Joe makes you feel."
"How exactly do you think she makes me feel?" Eric demanded, wondering how they'd ended up here. He didn't want to have this conversation and was more than willing to go back to trading punches to avoid it.
"Whole," Nathan said, making him swallow hard because that was exactly the way she made him feel. When she was around, he felt complete, happy, and at peace and when she wasn't near him, he felt so fucking lost that it nearly tore him apart.
"I want what you're refusing to see," Nathan explained. "I want a woman that makes me feel complete, makes me happy and someone I couldn't imagine living without."
"We're just friends," Eric said hollowly as he tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He missed her, wanted her and-
"Bullshit! She's everything to you and you damn well know it. While I would kill to have someone like her, you're throwing her aside like she's fucking nothing. What the hell are you going to do when she finds someone else? You don't think that will kill you to watch her with another man, knowing that it could have been you?"
"Yes!" Eric roared. "It will fucking kill me to watch her with another man. Are you fucking happy?" he demanded, ignoring the look of pity on his brother's face as he scrubbed his hands down his face. "I'm not good enough for her. I wouldn't have the first clue how to do this without breaking her heart."
"What the hell are you talking about? No one will ever love her more than you do."
Eric released a humorless chuckle at that. "Really? What exactly are you basing this on? I sure as hell hope you're not basing this on how I treated all my ex-girlfriends because we both know that I'll grow bored and end up losing her."
"You're avoiding being with her because of your past?" Nathan asked, looking at a loss for words when Eric nodded firmly. "You really are a fucking idiot."