14. Talia

"Do you want Jensen to be involved in Felix's life?" Mia asked, guiding the empty pushchair down one of St James's Park's wide paths—although her son, little Reggie, was beginning to spend more time out of it than in.

Talia eyed Mia's growing baby bump. Reggie would grow out of it, just in time for the new baby to grow into it. And Mia would be starting all over again.

"Yes," she answered truthfully, ducking beneath a low branch.

"But you say he runs some company, right?" Mia's black bob swayed around her jawline. She was a couple of years older than Talia, and a couple of years more experienced as a mother—both of which had been endlessly helpful after Felix's birth.

"Right," she agreed, her hands steering her own pram around a puddle. She was thankful she had someone neutral to explain the situation to. "Or he's part owner, anyway." The little she knew of Stone Holdings came from what Kate and Dad had told her in passing.

And maybe some furious surreptitious Googling she'd never admit to.

"So how much time is he actually going to spend with Felix? Surely he's going to be busy. Or is he just going to be enthusiastic at the start and trail off as he loses interest?" Mia cut herself off. "Reggie, babe, stay on this side of the path, not near the lake."

"Why?" Reggie asked curiously, clutching his toy robot.

"Because I don't want you to fall in the water."

Reggie gasped as a young girl on a bike whizzed past, and he pointed. "Can I bring my bike next time?"

"You'll have to wait for Daddy to put the stabilisers on for you, okay?"

"Speaking of men," Talia began, "how is it going with Cameron? The last I heard you guys were off."

"I think we might be back on," Mia admitted, giving her an embarrassed look. Talia's heart sunk for her friend. "He promised no more going to the pub after work. And he's been true to his word for the past week. He's been at home every night. Reggie's loving it."

"That's great." Talia just wondered how long it would last, and how disappointed Reggie would be when it ended. Even though Mia had only been her tenant for a year or so, Cameron had been through this routine several times over. "Has he been less restrictive about what you're doing?"

"He has," Mia smiled, the corners of her dark eyes crinkling. "I met up with my old uni friend this week—she studied computer science the same as me. And Cameron's even been reading to Reggie before bed. Everything's been amazing."

Talia didn't have the heart to dampen her spirits by asking what had happened the last time Cameron promised to change, or the time before that. It was enough for Mia to know that Talia was there for her.

If Talia fought against Cameron when he'd just conned Mia into taking him back, she'd only drive Mia further into his arms.

It was safer to change topic. "How did your twenty-four week scan go? Heartbeat looking good? No signs of pre-eclampsia?"

Mia gave her a knowing look, smothered in affection. "Everything is looking wonderful, Doctor Llewellyn. The baby's growth is spot on for week twenty-four. They did everything you said they should."

Doctor Llewellyn.The title hurt more than Talia thought it would. It was who she could have been. Her drive was there still, that need to do something.

But now she'd left that road unfinished.

"Good," she smiled. Pre-natal and ante-natal medicine was perhaps the only part of her textbooks she'd read in their entirety. Even after leaving Columbia, she'd pored over those chapters, eager to learn more about what to expect in her pregnancy.

It had been strange, but it was the first time she'd found genuine enjoyment in learning from those textbooks. If only she'd found the same enjoyment in medicine as a whole, she may never have lost her scholarship.

But then she'd never have gone to Lux and met Jensen, and Felix would have never been born.

Her heart constricted at the thought.

There was nothing—nothing—more important to her than Felix.

It didn't matter that there was still that need inside; a road left unfinished.

Maybe one day I can start again.She just didn't know where the road would lead.

"You all right?" Mia asked, noticing her saddened expression.

Talia pointed to the pushchair rather than trying to explain. "Is he still asleep?" The top of the pushchair hid Felix from her view but not from Mia's.

"Out like a light. And it's no wonder, after the night he had. How is weaning going, by the way?"

The conversation flowed as they exited St James's Park, joining the throng of people flowing up The Mall towards Trafalgar Square. Talia could remember Dad telling her that the Square used to be covered in a layer of pigeons from dawn till dusk, with tourists purchasing pigeon feed from stalls only to end up with a flock of pigeons descending upon them.

Today, there wasn't a pigeon in sight—there was a hawk, though.

That probably had something to do with it.

After entering the mansion block they both called home and squeezing both pushchairs into the lift, Talia said goodbye to Mia on the second floor, continuing upwards onto the sixth. Trudging the long path down to her flat, Talia was in the middle of replying to a text from Darcy—confirming she would be going out for Darcy's birthday next week—when her phone rang.

Her heart thudded. It was Jensen.

Talia had known he'd be calling, but she hadn't expected it to be nine hours after she'd last seen him. "Hello?"

"Hey, are you at home?"

"In about ten seconds I will be," she said, steering the pushchair one-handed towards her front door. "Why?"

"The locks on your door aren't good enough. Nor is the security in the building. I've got a company here to install a smart security system for you."

Talia blinked, stilling with the key in the door. "Excuse me?"

"It's not safe, Talia. For Felix… or for you."

Wheeling the pushchair into the flat, she chewed the inside of her lip. It did scare her that Jensen had been able to get into her flat last night. Terrified her, actually. This was supposed to be her sanctuary, but he'd strolled in whilst she was fast asleep.

And yet…

With Jensen around, she'd never felt safer.

"I don't want a repeat of last night," he continued. "This time it was me, but next time it might not be. I want you to feel secure in your own home. I want you to know in the future that if you don't want someone—anyone—coming in, then you can choose to keep them out."

Something in her head made her say it. "Even if that person is you?"

"Yes," he said vehemently. "I want you to be able to protect yourself and Felix. Let me give that to you."

Coming to a decision, she depressed the buzzer. "Come up."

Wheeling the pushchair around, Talia positioned it against the wall with Felix facing outwards. He was still fast asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling. Ever so gently, Talia fully reclined the seat he sat in, until Felix was flat on his back, as had been drummed into her in every post-natal class she'd attended.

Afterwards, she opened the front door again, leaning in the doorway to await Jensen's arrival, ignoring the way her heartbeat quickened.

When he appeared at the end of the corridor, he was still utterly, confoundingly, almost annoyingly gorgeous. And the way he'd been last night with Felix…

There was nothing more attractive than a man caring for his baby. Nothing.

And to be the mother watching? It was lethal. Her womb could barely take it. No wonder his sperm had made it up her supposedly blocked fallopian tubes. They'd probably laid out the red fucking carpet for him.

On some level, it made her understand Mia's plight. Cameron was jealous beyond belief, controlling who Mia saw and when. All while he was down the pub every chance he got, coming home at all hours drunk out of his mind. And yet Mia clung to the hope that he was going to change.

And if Cameron was currently putting in effort with Reggie?

For the first time, she understood.

"Talia?"

Jensen's voice pulled her from her thoughts. He'd changed clothes since she'd last seen him, and she let her gaze wander over him surreptitiously. It was the first time she'd seen him in something other than a suit—he wore a black jacket over a plain white t-shirt, coupled with a pair of dark jeans.

Well, she'd seen him naked too. That was a different type of suit altogether.

Her face flamed, and she hoped her smile covered it up. "You got here quickly."

"I knew the way," he replied, giving her an endearing shrug. "This is Tarik," Jensen gestured behind him, towards a man she hadn't even noticed in her daydreaming. "He's going to be installing the security system."

"Hi Tarik," she said politely, smiling at the handsome black-haired man. "What kind of security system?"

"New lock, first and foremost," Tarik began, his Yorkshire accent strong and firm. "Then voice recognition, multiple cameras with face and body recognition, colour night vision, and motion detection. All in 4K. They're all weatherproof too, but in a flat that's not going to be of much use. We've got door contacts and shock sensors for doors and windows; those'll let you know if anyone's trying to break through. I've brought heat detectors as well—although those are designed for fire prevention rather than burglars. There are a few decoys as well. Smart locks too. Then there's panic buttons and audio monitoring—"

"Audio monitoring?" Talia almost laughed, slightly overwhelmed. "I have a nine month old baby."

Tarik waved a hand, running his thumb along the neat stubble covering his jaw. "I'll calibrate it, don't worry."

"Right." Her voice was faint.

This was overkill, surely?

Dad was wealthy, but she hadn't grown up with this kind of security system. Was this normal for Jensen? Was he used to dropping boatloads of money like this?

He bought you for two million dollars,her inner voice reminded her. Of course he's bloody used to it.

The gap between them was never more obvious then. He'd probably grown up with access to this kind of money. This was a drop in the ocean to him, as easily affordable as a trip to the bakery was for her.

And then there was the age gap. He was a mature, wealthy businessman. She wondered what he thought of suddenly discovering he had a son. Did he have other kids? How old were they? Was he married?

No, she reasoned. Dad would have mentioned it at some point.

Talia's eyes wandered as Tarik moved around the flat, inevitably landing on Jensen. Where did he fit into her life? Where did she fit into his? They were worlds apart in so many areas; age, maturity, financially, priorities, life experience. Was he one of those men whose lives revolved around their work?

I just don't want Felix to be second best.

It didn't take Tarik long to create a 3D sketch of her flat on his tablet, using it to identify exactly where to place all of them. The equipment arrived soon after, with Tarik wheeling in an enormous case chock-a-block with cameras and alarms and wires.

She let him get on with it.

Instead, she occupied her time sitting at the dining table, watching Jensen feeding Felix a chicken, sweet potato, and carrot puree. Chicken and sweet potato had proven to be Felix's favourite dinner puree so far, but the carrot was a new addition she'd snuck in there.

It was a nice experience too—to be sitting at her own dinner table, eating at the same time as her son, rather than feeding him herself and then eating afterwards. Other people had fed Felix before, of course, but none since she'd began to wean him.

Jensen had surprised her so far. She just wondered if he'd be as keen to deal with the aftermath of eating.

Whilst Tarik flitted around them, Talia kept her and Jensen's discussion light—Felix, mostly, but now she'd had time to think, she had a few burning questions to ask him.

And then, finally, Tarik approached the dinner table. "All finished. Everything should be linked up to your phone. Jensen can show you how to use it all if needed, but it's pretty user intuitive."

Talia nodded like she'd never forgotten her own password and attempted to set a new one, only for the new password to be her old password. "Amazing, thank you."

Jensen shook Tarik's hand. "Cheers for sorting that out on such short notice. For everything."

"To make sure little Felix is safe?" Tarik smiled down at her son's puree-covered face. "It was no trouble at all. Was it, bub?"

Felix grinned, waving his hand up.

Tarik waved back, letting Jensen walk him out.

"Thanks again," Talia called, just as Jensen shut the door—and the three of them were alone once more.

And somehow, that fact took all the air out of the room.

Talia focused on her son, ignoring the tension settling around them. The feeling of being watched fluttered over her skin, but she bit her lip, starting to collect all of the dirty dishes to take them to the kitchen bench.

Jensen's large hand stilled her own, his husky voice coming shortly after. "Let me clean up."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to do it, Talia," he said softly. Why did hearing him say her name stutter her breath? "Between New York and today, you've done everything by yourself. Allow me to take care of you."

She nodded, letting him take the dishes from her hands—and in doing so removing his touch from her skin. Talia exhaled, mourning the loss.

Jensen was surprisingly attentive in his work, cleaning Felix first before moving onto the dining table, and then the kitchen workspaces.

But there were things she needed to discuss, and now was as good a time as any.

Talia moved Felix to his sit-in walker, the next part of his routine in the run up to bed. A bath would be next, followed by a story before bed. Now, though…

"Are you married?" she blurted.

Jensen stilled as he rinsed the tiny pot Felix's puree had been stored in. "No," he blinked, the question clearly taking him by surprise. "Never married."

Relief quietened her mind, even as his answer opened up other questions. Why have you never married? Are you married to your work? Have other women been scared off by something I haven't discovered yet? "Do you have any other children?"

His laugh was more of a surprised chuff. "No. Felix is my only child."

Talia nodded. So this is going to be a steep learning curve for you. "We should discuss parenting."

He paused, leaning against one of the kitchen counters. "What about it?"

She readied herself, her discussion with Mia fresh in her mind. "How involved of a father do you intend to be?"

"As involved as you'll let me be." There was a slight frown on his face. "As involved as I can be. I'm his father, Talia."

"True," she acknowledged, swallowing down her nerves. "But you disappeared the morning after we concei—"

"For a last minute business meeting."

"Exactly." Her shoulders sank as she let out a heavy sigh. "Felix isn't your only commitment. You run a business." Talia looked away, chewing the inside of her lip. "And you didn't exactly give me your name."

Jensen stepped towards her. "I already told you the name wasn't fake, baby girl."

The endearment was almost a physical blow, throwing her back to their night at Lux. Of all the things he'd said to her, done to her.

Of all the things they'd done together.

"Don't call me that," she managed, refusing to be thrown off course. Even so, she could still feel the way he'd touched her that night. The reverent way he'd held her as she climaxed. The way he cradled her afterwards. "But why not just give me your name in the first place?"

Jensen came closer still, taking her hand in his. "Because I wanted to be the real me with you. In hindsight…" he trailed off, his soft gaze finding their son. "Thank you for giving me that connection with him."

She knew exactly what he meant. Felix Jay. "It was the only connection I had to give."

His smile was strained, his eyes clouded with emotion. "You gave me everything, Talia."

"Then promise me something."

"Anything."

"Don't let him down," she implored him. "You say you want to be a proper father to him, and I won't stop you, but start as you mean to go on. If you're the kind of dad who will only see him once a month, don't get his hopes up for anything more than that."

"Once a month?" Jensen looked crestfallen, his eyes widening with horror.

"I may be young, but I'm not na?ve. Dad is a businessman. Maybe not on your level, but there's going to be times when you're run off your feet or you're called away urgently or…" Talia trailed off at the guilty look on his face. "What?"

"A joint venture partner has pulled out of a deal at the last minute and I may need to go to sort things out in the next week or so, but it's—"

A joint venture? That sounded strangely familiar. Hadn't Dad said something about pulling out of the joint venture he'd started with Jensen? "This joint venture partner wouldn't happen to be my dad, would it?"

His lips thinned, but he squeezed her hand. "All that matters is that it's temporary. Once it's been dealt with, I'll be on the next plane home."

"From New York, I suspect." Seeing as that's where Dad's joint business venture was. Ironically.

"Your suspicions may be correct," he admitted, with a hint of a smile. "Will you let me video call with Felix?"

"He's not a particularly good conversationalist."

"Maybe I don't want conversation." Ever so gently, his thumb brushed over her hand, sending a shiver across her shoulders. "Maybe I just want to see him."

Talia sucked in a heady breath, close to losing herself in the cerulean flecks of his irises. Suddenly, it didn't matter to her that he was twice her age. Her cheeks flushed with warmth, until all she could do was nod. "Maybe he'll want to see you too."