Chapter Twenty-Two

Martha paced up and down the small, narrow path which led away from the house and farther into the gardens. She could barely catch her breath, one hand pressed against her heart. There were many people walking about the grounds but she had managed to find herself a little solitude, doing her utmost to calm her frantically beating heart.

He cares for me?

She did not know what to make of that. Surely the Marquess could simply be lying to her, could he not? It would be just like a rogue to do that, to pretend that something was true when, in fact, it was not. She could not trust his words… could she?

Her eyes filled with hot tears as she battled indecision. What ought she to do? She had been so close to attracting Lord Billington's attention, for her suggestion that they step out of doors for a time and walk through the gardens had been met with surprise, yes, but also with acceptance. She had not truly wanted to do such a thing, of course, but her mind had told her that there was no other way to escape this.

And then, Lord Granton had practically flung himself upon her, had professed his affection for her and begged her for an opportunity to prove himself.

Shaking her head, Martha pressed one hand against her forehead, coming to a stop as she sagged back against a tree. She had not known how to respond, had seen the ton looking at the Marquess and had heard the whispering beginning – and had felt herself crumple inside. The cool air of the evening had brought her a little relief but it had not calmed the frantic thoughts which whirled through her mind and her heart.

"Is that you?"

Martha straightened suddenly, trying to move back but feeling only the rough bark of the tree behind her. "I – I… "

"Oh." A lady laughed and shook her head, coming a little closer to Martha. "Forgive me, I thought that you were Lord Urquhart. I – oh, good gracious!"

Blinking furiously, Martha realised quickly that she was looking into the face of Lady Lamberton. The lady's smile had shattered the moment she had looked into Martha's face, leaving them both now staring at each other without a word passing between them.

"I should return to the ball." Martha made to sidestep the lady, only for Lady Lamberton to put one hand out, preventing her from doing so.

"Wait a moment, if I may." Lady Lamberton sniffed and arched an eyebrow, coming closer to Martha. "I want to speak with you."

"If it is about the Marquess and the connection between the two of you, then I have nothing to say." Martha could not look into Lady Lamberton's face, finding it too painful to gaze into the eyes of the lady who had been so very close to Lord Granton. "Please, let me pass."

"Connection? Pah!"

This brought Martha to an immediate stop. Turning, she looked at Lady Lamberton, a little surprised to see the glint of anger in the lady's eye.

"You speak of connection?" Lady Lamberton continued, folding her arms in front of her, though it was not to keep out the cold. "That gentleman promised me that we would continue our connection once his engagement was broken, only to then inform me that he intends to wed after all!"

Martha's stomach dropped. "He intended to continue on with your connection once he was married?"

Lady Lamberton let out a quiet, cold laugh. "No, indeed not. He intended to break our connection permanently, Lady Newton and that is all because of you."

Blinking, Martha tried to understand. "Because of me?"

Throwing up her hands, Lady Lamberton let out an exasperated sound. "Why do you not understand, Lady Newton? What is it that puzzles you? I am the one who is confused, for I cannot understand what it is about you that has pulled him away from me! And yet here you are, standing and looking at me as though I am the one who is speaking foolishness." When Martha said nothing, Lady Lamberton let out another long sigh and shook her head. "You walked away from the two of us and, grateful for the privacy, I thought to rush back into his arms but he did nothing but step away from me!" Her voice rose, anger clear now in both her tone and her expression. "He told me quite clearly that we could no longer return to what we had once shared. That the affection I had for him had never really had an effect upon him. But you , Lady Newton, appear to have filled his heart in a way that I never could have done. And when I asked for an explanation, he could not give it. He could not tell me what it was about you that was so delightful to him. Instead, he simply apologised and it all came to an end."

It was not until Lady Lamberton stopped speaking that Martha realised just how rapidly she was breathing. It was true, then. Everything that Lord Granton had said to her was true! He did care for her, he truly was desperate for their engagement to continue on into marriage! How could such a thing be?

"So what it is about you that commands him so?" Lady Lamberton lifted one finger and jabbed it towards Martha, her eyes narrowing. "What is it you have done that has forced his heart towards you in such a way?"

Taking a step back, Martha held up both hands in defence. "I do not know. Please, I cannot speak on Lord Granton's behalf and I certainly would not dare to even attempt to do so."

Lady Lamberton snorted. "That is a fine excuse, Lady Newton, for it is no excuse at all!" She tossed her head and, much to Martha's relief, stepped back. "Thankfully, I have many other gentlemen who are eager for my company."

"Like Lord Urquart?"

Clearly not in the least bit embarrassed, Lady Lamberton nodded. "Exactly. And I should go in search of him instead of wasting my time wondering about the foolishness of Lord Granton."

Martha swallowed tightly as Lady Lamberton finally walked away, leaving her alone in her solitude once more. Blinking furiously, Martha passed one hand over her eyes, struggling to breathe as the truth finally crashed right into her.

Lord Granton did care for her.

Everything he had said was true. The words he had murmured to her, the kiss which had spoken of genuine passion – it was all from his heart. Lord Granton was a rogue and a scoundrel no more, it seemed, given all that he had promised her. Martha closed her eyes tightly, her hands going to her mouth as she finally let herself believe all that Lord Granton had said to her – and, in doing so, let all of her own heart's affections finally fly free.

"I have to find him!" Whispering to herself, Martha dropped her hands and hurried back towards the house, her anticipation suddenly growing to such great and rapid heights, it was all she could do to contain herself. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, wanted to fling her hands wide and then wrap them tight around his neck, pulling herself as close as she could to him.

But I must find him first.

"Martha?"

She turned, seeing a figure stepping out from behind one of the candle lights which burned brightly, illuminating Lord Granton's face.

"I – I do not know what I can say to you nor whether you even wish to hear from me, but I could not let you be out here alone," he told her, making Martha aware that he had been watching for her return. Coming closer to her, he held out his hands either side, then let them fall. His eyes closed briefly, a heavy sigh leaving him as he dropped his head. "Martha, I do not like to see you so troubled. I am all too aware of my reputation, aware of the pain that I have caused you and thus, if you are so determined, I will end our engagement."

Martha's breath hitched. "What do you mean?"

"If you wish to find another gentleman, if you truly desire to find another to marry rather than I, then I will not stand in the way of that any longer," Lord Granton said, his voice low but his expression strained. "I will not hold you to this engagement, not if you are to be miserable and unhappy. I do not want that for you."

If Martha had not believed that he cared for her before, she could not deny it now. Her smile began to spread across her face, her heart leaping about furiously. "You would give up our engagement for my sake?"

"I know, I know." Lord Granton shrugged and let out a breath of frustration. "No doubt you will not believe me, knowing that I am a rogue and want nothing more than to return to my former way of life, but though I doubt that you will believe me, I can do nothing but assure you that it is not as you think. I want what is best for you rather than for me. I will not be selfish any longer, Martha. I will give you whatever you desire, I swear it."

Martha moved a little further forward, closing the distance between them. "And what if I desire to move forward towards matrimony?"

Lord Granton's eyes rounded. "With me?"

With a quiet laugh, Martha nodded, stepping closer to him than she had ever dared to do before. Yes, they were in public, yes, there were gentlemen and ladies around them but the evening was dark enough for them not to be made out entirely. Besides which, she did not care whether she was seen. This was her betrothed, was it not? This was the gentleman she was to marry! What could be wrong with being close to him? "I am convinced, Granton," she murmured, looking up into his eyes, one hand settling against his heart. "You say that you care for me. You say that you truly wish to marry me because your heart has filled with an affection you did not expect." She tilted her head. "Is that still true?"

Lord Granton swallowed, then put one hand over hers as it rested on his heart. "More than you could ever be aware of, Martha."

"Then I believe you," Martha told him, gently. "My dear Lord Granton, I have hidden my own feelings for such a long time, pretending that they held no value and would soon fade. It was only when we shared our first… moment together, that I realised just how much they had become a part of me. They were not going to fade, they were only going to grow stronger."

"Our kiss meant that much to you?"

Aware of the heat in her face, Martha nodded, though she did not take her eyes from his. "Yes, it did. And then, you spoke to my father about the banns and I found myself desperate to believe what you had said to me."

He closed his eyes. "Only for you to stumble upon Lady Lamberton and myself."

Something like shame washed over Martha. "I thought I would seek out Lord Billington, thinking to act recklessly in order to force his hand. It was not because I had any true feelings for him, however, but only because I wanted to be free of you. I know that sounds rather cruel, but it was simply because my heart was so filled with you, I could not see another way to escape."

Lord Granton lowered his head, his eyes fixed to hers. "But I do not want you to escape," he murmured, ever so softly. "Martha, I think I am in love with you."

Those words had her pressing up on tiptoe, settling her mouth against his in a brazen and bold act which, much to her relief, brought her just the response she had been desiring. Lord Granton wrapped his arms tight around her and pulled her as close to him as she could go, his head tilting just a little to kiss her all the more sweetly. She sighed against him when the kiss broke them apart, refusing to move back, refusing to move even a little further away.

"I think I am in love with you too, Granton," she whispered, seeing him smile. "I should very much like to marry you."

"You will marry the rogue?" he murmured, as she smiled back at him. "The redeemed rogue? You have redeemed me, Martha. You and no-one else."

"Then yes, I shall marry you," she promised, as his head began to lower again. "I shall be your bride."