Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Three weeks later

Y ou know that whole saying about letting people go and if they come back, they're yours? If they don't, then they never were? Yeah, I call bullshit on that. I've let Zoe go, but every fibre of my being still says that girl is mine.

Of course I can't say shit like that to her, especially if I want to get her back. Which I do. I've been patient. At this point, I should be nominated for fucking sainthood on account of that patience.

I don't text and call her nonstop. Well, not after the first week.

Because after that first week, I got the message loud and fucking clear that she wanted space. I know she's scared. I understand why, and most of the time, I actually think she's probably better off as far away from me as she can possibly get. Knowing that doesn't mean I have to fucking like it, though.

I miss her more than I've ever missed anyone before. I'm about ready to give up on the whole Mister Cool-Calm-and-Patient act and get on a flight over to New York. How can she realise that whatever we have is worth fighting for if it's not right in front of her face? If I'm not there to convince her?

This is the very definition of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Whatever I decide to do, it's the wrong fucking thing. If I stay and wait her out, sit here twisting my thumbs, hoping she'll come back… I might never see her. If I go over there, make a scene, pressure her to come home with me… I might push her away for good.

"You need to get laid," Vin says, walking into the room.

"What I don't need is sex advice from a fucking teenager who doesn't know his dick from his balls," I grunt without bothering to look at him.

"Whatever. I'm not the one with a bad case of blue balls. My balls are getting plenty of love on a daily basis." The asshole laughs.

"Anyone have the safe sex talk with you yet? You better be making sure you're wrapping it before using it. The last thing we need is De Bellis spawn running around." I raise a questioning brow at him.

"Yeah, that's not happening. At least not from me," he replies.

"What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at school or something?" I ask as soon as I realise it's the middle of the day on a Friday.

"I was at school. I need your car."

I blink at him. The fucker has his own car. In fact, we have multiple cars in the garage. What the fuck does he want with mine?

"Why?"

"Because I need to follow someone, and your car doesn't draw attention." He shrugs.

"Who you following?"

"No one you know. Can I use it or not?"

I consider questioning him more. I should question him more, but sometimes it's better not to know what my brothers are up to. "Fine, but don't fuck it up." I pull my keys out of my pocket and toss them his way.

"Thanks, bro. Catch ya ?round," he says before strolling out of the room. Like he doesn't have a care in the world.

"Marcel, wake the fuck up." Santo's voice breaks through my sleep.

"What the fuck? Go and find someone else to piss off," I grunt.

"Get up. Gabe got pinched." My brother's words have my eyes snapping open.

"What the fuck for?" I'm up and off the sofa I fell asleep on God only knows how long ago. One of my brothers getting pinched? It could be for fucking anything.

"They're in Sydney. I don't know everything. Gio just called," Santo says.

"Fuck." I tug my phone out of my pocket and dial Gio's number.

"Marcel, I'm busy. Can it wait?" he answers.

"What'd Gabe get done for?"

"An arms deal," Gio says. "Xavier's on his way up here. We'll get it sorted, but I need you to keep shit under control at home."

"Arms dealing? Fucking hell," I curse under my breath. My brother could be away for a long-ass fucking time for that. "How likely is it that Xavier will get him off?"

Xavier Christianson is the solicitor we keep on retainer. He's also Dom's future brother-in-law.

"No idea, but we'll do everything we can," Gio says before disconnecting the call.

"Okay, we have to keep this shit between us. The last thing we need is the city finding out," I tell Santo.

"Agreed. Where's Vin?"

"No fucking idea, but wherever he is, he has my car," I say. Just as I'm about to reach out to the baby brother in question, Zoe's name flashes across the screen. "Give me a minute." I walk out of the living room and swipe answer. "Hey."

"Marcel, are you busy?" she asks.

"For you? Never. What's wrong?" I'm not sure what else could possibly fucking happen at this point.

"I, um, I just wanted to hear your voice," she says.

Something isn't right. I've talked to Zoe a few times since she's been gone, but she's never sounded so withdrawn. "What did you do today?"

"I went to a bar. I thought… well, I thought I could do it. You know, it's just a bar. New York is just a city. I should be able to go out to a bar."

"What happened?"

"I'm fucked up is what happened. I couldn't even go to a bar. I feel like I'm never going to be normal again. When I was in Melbourne, I could go out. Now that I'm back here, it's like every step forward I've taken has vanished and I'm back where I started. It's stupid."

"It's not stupid. And there is nothing wrong with how you're feeling. You are strong, Zoe, one of the strongest people I know. You can do anything you want, but you don't have anything to prove to anyone. If you don't feel comfortable going out, then don't go out. If you don't want to be in New York, then come home."

"This is supposed to be my home," she mumbles.

"Where is your heart, Zoe? Wherever your heart wants to be, that's where home is."

"What if my heart doesn't work properly? I don't think I'm strong enough, Marcel. I see the women who survive in this life. They're brave. They fight for what they want. Me? I'm not that brave. I got too close to you and ran."

"That heart of yours is pure, Zoe. Maybe you have enough good in you to outweigh the bad in me? And you don't need to be anyone else. I don't want someone else, babe. I want you, just the way you are," I tell her. I know I'm not good for her, but she's fucking mine anyway.

"What have you been up to? How's school?" she asks, changing the subject.

"School is boring. It was way more fun when you were able to stop in and visit me." I smirk at the memory.

"I bet it was," Zoe says with a little more lightness to her tone.

When Santo steps out of the living room into the hallway with a questioning brow lifted on his face, I know I need to get off the phone and deal with family shit. Honestly, I'd rather be with Zoe. Not that I'm ever going to leave my brother rotting in a damn cell without doing everything I can to help him, though.

Truth is I don't usually get too involved in the family business. Have I done shit that'd give even the demons in hell nightmares? Absolutely. Would I do all of it again? Without a doubt. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my family. No line I wouldn't cross if it meant saving one of my brothers.

"Babe, can I call you back? Santo needs help with something." I can't tell Zoe exactly what it is that Santo needs help with; although I'm sure it won't be long before she hears that one of my brothers is presently behind bars.

"Sure. I'm sorry to bother you."

"You aren't bothering me. I'll call you back," I tell her before hanging up.

" Babe? You still holding out hope she's coming back?" Santo says.

"She is coming back."

"For how long? You said it yourself. We're fucking cursed, Marcel. There is no happily ever after for any of us," Santo grunts while bringing that ever-present bottle of whiskey to his lips.

I walk over and snatch the bottle from his hand. "This shit ain't going to fucking help right now. Our brother is sitting in a fucking cell. We've got more important shit to do."

"Marcel? What happened?"

I pivot on the heel of my shoe and my heart fucking sinks at the look on Daisy's face. Gabe's girlfriend. Those two have become really serious lately—more so since they're not hiding their relationship anymore. It's the fucking curse. Gabe found his happiness, and now this shit happens.

"It's going to be okay. Gio and Xavier will have him home before you know it, sweetheart," I tell her. I have no fucking idea if that's true or not. But if a little white lie helps wipe that heartbroken look off her face, then that's what I'll do.

"What was he arrested for? Why isn't anyone telling me?" she asks.

I look to Santo. He's no fucking help. The asshole is sprawled out on the sofa with another bottle of whiskey in his hand.

"I'm not sure. We need to wait for Gio and Xavier to fill us in. In the meantime, we need to stay positive. You know, put those good vibes out into the universe. All that juju shit." I'm pulling crap out of my ass now.

"Hey." Vin walks in, looks at Daisy and then over to me. "What's going on?"

"Gabe got pinched in Sydney," I tell him.

"What for?"

"Where's El? Go and see what she wants for dinner," I reply instead of answering his question. I won't lie to my brother, but I also won't tell him in front of Daisy. The last thing this girl needs is to be Googling just how long someone can be put behind bars for fucking arms dealing.

Thankfully, Vin reads the fucking room. Unlike Santo, who's still busy drowning himself in that fucking bottle.

"Come on, Daisy. Let's go find that sister-in-law of mine. Getting her to decide on dinner is like pulling fucking teeth."

"She's not that bad," Daisy says.

"Yes, she is. This one time, we argued for two hours over pizza or fish and chips. Two hours, Daisy. And you know what we ended up with?"

"What?" she asks.

"Both." Vin shakes his head before walking right back out of the room again. "Come on, I'm not dealing with this one alone."

Daisy looks at me and then follows Vin out. She's not stupid. She knows we're trying to distract her, keep her from spiralling over the fact her boyfriend is currently sporting a pair of silver bracelets.

A few hours ago, I was debating on whether or not I was going to get on a flight to New York. Now, I need to go and find out what I'm supposed to be handling while Gio's stuck in Sydney and Santo is out of his fucking mind.

Gabe was the one picking up the slack. He stepped up when Santo needed the break. If Gabe's locked up, that responsibility is going to fall on my fucking shoulders. That's not a job I want. It's one I'll do, if I have to do it. But at the same time, I'll be looking for a way to get Santo back to his old self sooner rather than later. I don't want to be anyone's fucking underboss.