Chapter 28

28

D amon

I’m reeling.

I knew our coming together would be magical, but it ended up being so much more than I could ever have hoped for. I’ve never felt so joined with another person. Not just in body but in soul. Our connection is real, and it runs deeper than I could have known or imagined. It scares me.

Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. It has only served to deepen my feelings…and my resolve.

I will leave Kyrie soon, and despite what Xander and Thesha said, I do have to walk away; there is nothing else to it.

Even if she is willing to take a gamble with her life, I won’t! Not now and not ever. I feel even more strongly after making love to her. After being inside her. I am most certainly very deeply in love with this woman. Of that, there is no question.

I pull out of her with a soft grunt. My body wants to stay joined with hers. From the way she holds onto me, I would say that Kyrie is feeling it, too.

Her eyes are beautiful. All hazy from pleasure. Her mouth is plump and wet from my kisses. Her cheeks are flushed from her orgasms.

I want to have her again. I want tomorrow. I want a thousand tomorrows.

“Ky…” I start to say. I can’t tell her all the things I want to, so I kiss her softly. I pull back and trace her face with the back of my fingers. “You are amazing. You’re everything. Remember that. Everything and more.”

And she is. My heart beats for her…it bleeds for her.

“I want to go with you.” A whisper into the dark.

My heart stutters, and for a second, the selfish side of me wants to accept her offer. I want to forget about the dangers. I want to forget about everything so that I can have her in my life. Thankfully, my senses come back to me.

“No,” I say softly, lying on my back next to her. “That won’t work.”

She leans over me, putting her hand on my chest; her breasts press against my side. So damned soft.

Her eyes are pleading. “Please. It is my choice to make and my risk to take, and I want to—”

“No.” I try not to be too harsh with my tone, but I fail. “I’m sorry. We said one night, Ky. One night only. We agreed.” I manage to inject some softness into my voice.

“That was before we—”

“My answer is still no.” I sigh. “I know where this is coming from, love.” I capture her face in my hands. “I felt it too, but it doesn’t change things. I can’t concentrate on toppling Snow if I am fearful of what could happen to you. I can’t put you at risk. I won’t!”

“So, this is it, then?”

I nod. “Yes, it has to be. Tomorrow, I will take you somewhere safe.”

“Where are you going to take me? There is nowhere that is safe anymore. I don’t have a home. It’s all gone. My whole village was ransacked by fae. Everyone they could catch – and there were many – were taken. I have no friends or family left.” Her eyes fill with tears.

“The human kingdom isn’t safe anymore.” I shake my head.

“Neither are the villages scattered around the fae courts,” she says. A tear falls and rolls down her cheek. “Maybe one of the villages around here…or perhaps I should stay with Grigor. Maybe he would let me—”

I shake my head. “It won’t be safe after we’ve been here. Perhaps after some time has passed, but not right now. People will talk about a band of travelers. Two fae and two humans. Word will spread. We will need to warn Grigor. Chances are good that the fae will come searching before long.”

“You’re right.” She buries her head in my chest. “Nowhere is safe, Damon. I feel safest when I’m with you.” Her eyes are pleading. I would like nothing more than to give in…to agree, but I can’t.

“I will attract danger wherever I go. You will be in a direct line to that danger. You heard those bloodfae; there is a bounty on my head. I have a plan. It isn’t foolproof. In fact, it might be crazy, but I think it will work. It is your best bet at staying safe.”

“What is it?” She narrows her eyes.

“I think you should hide in plain sight. That’s how they hid me all these years, and it worked pretty well.”

“Okay.” She sounds skeptical, and I can’t say I blame her. “What do you have in mind?”

“I have allies in the Ice Court.”

“The Ice Court?” Her voice is raised. She looks at the door to the bedroom and gives a small shake of her head. Her eyes are hazy with emotion. “You can’t be serious. Snow is at the Ice Court. There are fae at the Ice Court, and you want me to live there?”

“There are also humans at the Ice Court. Many humans. I know plenty of them. There are several I would die for. Several who I know would die for me in return.”

“Things have changed, Damon. It isn’t like it was back when you lived there. I mean, I’m not talking specifically about the Ice Court; I’m talking about everywhere. Your allies might not even be there anymore. If they are, they might not be your allies.”

“We’re talking about someone I’ve known my whole life. I’m sure that Elsie is still there.”

“Who is Elsie?”

“She’s the daughter of my nursemaid. Elsie is around my age, maybe a sun-cycle or two younger. She was training to take over from Merna when everything happened. When my brother died, and Snow turned evil.”

“Merna was your nursemaid?”

I nod. “She all but raised me and was like a mother to me. I loved her, and she loved me just as fiercely.”

“And Elsie?”

“We grew up together. We played together, and later on, we studied together. Merna only had one child, and she grew up alongside Kyran and me. Elsie will help you; I know she will. All anyone needs to know is that you are her long-lost cousin. We’ll come up with a plausible story. I know ways into the castle. I will sneak you in—”

“That’s too dangerous, Damon. You could be caught. What then?”

“It’ll be fine, I swear. I’ll sneak you in and talk with Elsie.”

“What if Elsie is no longer there?”

“She will be, but if not, there are various other options. One of them will work; I know it. You can get a job working in the castle. Perhaps in the kitchens or as a housemaid. You will get food and lodging as well as a meager wage. You will be well looked after and very safe.”

“How long do I stay? I’ll be in the same castle as Snow. I don’t know how wise that is.” She shakes her head, looking panicked.

“Snow doesn’t know you. As a lowly castle worker, you won’t have any dealings with her. None of the icefae know you, either. No one will know who you are, Kyrie; it’s perfect. The more I think about it, the more I feel it will work. I know a route that is only one day’s ride from the Ice Court. That means less chance of capture.”

“I trust you, Damon. If you think it’s the best thing for me, then I’ll do it.” She wipes her eyes, looking strong.

“There’s just one thing, and it’s important.”

She nods. “What is it?”

“As soon as you get word that the lost kings have been found, I want you to flee the Ice Court. I will show you the way. I want you to come back here to Grigor. He will keep you safe. He looks wily. You can’t be there when war hits. I’m certain that the battle won’t take place at the Ice Court, but I can’t be sure.” Curse the gods, but I wish there was another way. None of this sounds safe. The only problem is that I can’t think of anything better. It doesn’t matter where I send Kyrie, she will be in danger. At least this way, her risk will be minimal. I’m sure of it.

“Okay. Fine, I can do that. I want you to go and do what you need to do. Save the realm, save the people, and then come back to me. I will wait—”

I put my finger over her lips. “No, don’t say it.”

Her eyes start to fill with tears again. She blinks, not allowing them to fall this time.

“I want to be a selfish bastard and ask that of you, but I can’t. I won’t! I might be gone many sun-cycles. I can’t say how long. I might die, Ky.”

“No, don’t say that.” Tears well and fall.

“I won’t lie to you. It’s why we can’t be together. It’s why I don’t want you to wait. Carry on with your life.” My voice hitches, and my throat clogs. My eyes sting. “I’ll treasure our time together. I will hold you in my heart.”

“As will I.” She wipes her eyes.

I roll onto my side and pull her into my arms. I hate that I am the one hurting her. I hate it so much. Through the tears, I cover her mouth with mine. I kiss her, holding her close. Then I roll her onto her back. Her legs come up and around me. I sink into her heat.

We still have tonight. We still have this moment.

Using slow, easy strokes, I thrust into her. Kyrie’s sobs turn into breathy whimpers and moans. I do my best to show her how I feel about her. To take away some of the pain I caused.

I hold on to her for all I am worth, losing myself in her for the last time with the knowledge that it will never be enough.