Chapter 26

26

K yrie

I soak up the warmth for a time, and then I get to work washing off all the dirt and grime. I wash my hair twice.

I finally force myself to get out of the bath. It was wonderful. I can’t remember the last time I felt this clean. Warm water…it is a blessing. The gods must be looking down on us. I pull out the plug and marvel at how the water disappears down through a hole and down a pipe under the bath. There is a fire that heats a tank of water. It is a simple matter of turning a tap to fill the bath back up again. I had heard of such washrooms but had never actually used one before. Back on the farm, we had to painstakingly boil water in a steel tub, so baths were a rarity. A treat. We mostly just jumped into the river to clean. Or washed with warm water out of a pail.

I wrap a towel around myself and throw another log on the fire, then I turn to the pile of dresses and smocks. There are also some chemises and breeches. I suspect that Isolde rode horses. I noticed a small herd of them in the field behind Grigor’s cabin.

I pull out a cotton smock that covers me well enough and then rummage through the pile of clothing. I eventually settle on a pretty blue dress. It’s impractical and silly, but I’m going to wear it, anyway. It’ll just be for a short while. I’m feeling exhausted. Even though I only had one goblet, the blackberry wine, together with the warm bath, has left me feeling sleepy. My eyelids are heavy.

I yawn as I pull the dress over my head. I really hope that Grigor has a couple of beds. At least enough for all of us. What I wouldn’t give for a soft mattress and a feather pillow.

Then I finish up, brushing my teeth and hair and cleaning up after myself. I exit the washroom.

The talking at the table stops, and everyone looks at me. Damon’s mouth falls open; his eyes trace my form, moving up and down in a slow fashion that does things to my belly.

“Ahhhh, it’s the lovely Kyrie. Did you enjoy your bath?” Grigor asks.

I struggle to take my eyes off Damon. The way he is looking at me has everything inside me heating and pulling tight like a cord about to snap.

I lick my lips. “It was wonderful. I can’t thank you enough.”

“You look…you…” Damon clears his throat, finally looking me in the eye. “I’ve only ever seen you in pants and a chemise. The dress looks lovely on you, Kyrie. I mean, I…you look beautiful.”

Thesha giggles. Xander knocks her with his shoulder and gives a tiny shake of his head.

“You look quite lovely, dear. Isolde will be pleased that one of her dresses is being put to good use.” Grigor smiles; his lips are stained red by the wine.

Damon seems to snap out of it. He takes a sip from his goblet.

“I’m really quite tired,” I tell them. “Does anyone object if I go to bed?”

“Of course, of course,” Grigor says. “You are in luck; there are three bedrooms. You should be quite comfortable.”

Three bedrooms. Grigor thinks that Damon and I are together. I look over at him; my eyes feel big.

He gives me a little nod to say that it’s fine when it really isn’t. Damon and I have to share…again. This time, we will be alone. It doesn’t feel fine at all.

“Your lips will turn blue if you don’t breathe, Ky,” Thesha tells me, a smile toying with her lips. She finds this whole situation far too enjoyable for my liking.

“Come this way,” Grigor says as he walks toward stairs that lead up to the next floor. He picks up a lantern.

“I’m going to bathe. Sleep well, Kyrie.” Thesha all-out grins at me, and I feel like throwing a curse or two her way. Instead, I narrow my eyes, giving her the dirtiest look I can muster.

She laughs softly. Xander grins. It’s all one big joke.

I look over at Damon and he isn’t smiling. He looks angry; his eyes are blazing, and his tunic is pulled so tight across his broad chest it just might tear at any moment. “I’ll be up soon,” he tells me in his deep voice.

Kakara help me, but it has shivers running up and down me.

I nod, feeling sick. It isn’t a big deal. It really isn’t. I’ve slept with Damon before and on numerous occasions, but things are different now.

I follow Grigor up the stairs and into a long hallway. He opens a closet on the landing, handing me bedsheets. He takes out a blanket and we go down the hallway. The floorboards creak beneath our feet.

“This way.” Grigor leads me all the way to the end and through a door that also creaks when opened.

The bedroom is small but cozy. There’s a large four-poster bed with a canopy, and a window that must overlook the garden. It’s covered with a velvet drape that is old and faded. There is an old wooden chair in the corner. Grigor sets the bedding down on the bed, which is covered in a patchwork quilt.

“You should be comfortable,” he says. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thank you, Grigor. I appreciate your hospitality,” I reply, trying to push down the nerves bubbling up inside me.

He gives me a small smile before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. I’m left alone in the dimly lit bedroom, the flickering light from a candle casting shadows on the walls.

I sit on the edge of the bed, my hands clasped tightly together. I sigh. Then I get up and get to work making up the bed, which looks altogether too small for my liking. Especially since I have to share with such a big male.

I get this churning in my belly. I push thoughts of Damon aside. I will be asleep by the time he gets here. It’s not a big deal.

After taking off the dress and hanging it carefully over the back of the chair in the corner, I quickly climb into bed. Then I lie back on the soft pillows, pulling the blanket up to my chin and staring up at the canopy.

Sleep doesn’t come. It doesn’t matter how much I toss and turn. I even try counting hywolves. I try breathing in and out as I count but nothing works.

It is an age before the door to the bedroom opens, and Damon walks in. I close my eyes. I’ll pretend to be asleep. That’s the only thing for it.

I hear the floor creak as he enters. He stills and all is quiet for a few seconds. I think he’s watching me.

Even breathing.

Slow breathing.

I’m asleep. Argh, I wish I were facing the other way. I wish I’d blown out the candle.

The boards creak again as he turns and gently shuts the door. Damon sits on the small chair in the corner. The one my dress is folded over. I hear rustling. It sounds like he’s taking off his clothes.

No! It can’t be. I want so desperately to peek, but I can’t. Is he going to strip down naked?

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now, Ky.” There is a mischievous lilt to his voice.

I open my eyes, and he smiles. It’s like my lungs are being squeezed for a second because I can’t breathe.

Then I smile back. “How did you know?”

“I’ve slept in the same room with you a time or two. I know how you sound when you’re sleeping.”

“Really?” I don’t sound convinced. “I thought I was doing a good job pretending.”

“You would have had to pretend to snore to do a good job.”

“What? I don’t snore, Damon. Take that back.”

He chuckles, and I instantly warm just hearing it. “You don’t snore very often and then so softly that it’s hard to even hear…but I do know how you sound when you sleep, and I could tell that you weren’t.”

His chest is bare. His hair is wet and hanging about his neck and face. He’s in his braies, his muscular body on full display. I get his scent of fresh pine and cut grass. He also smells of rain. A little wild, a little untethered and yet familiar…of home.

“You shaved off your beard.”

He rubs his smooth face. “I prefer it like this.”

I think he looks great either way, but I’m not going to tell him that. Despite being attracted to each other, we are still just friends. We’re not going to be more. All of Damon’s reasons make sense, even if I don’t like it one bit.

“I’m tired,” I grumble. “I should be asleep. I want to sleep, but I can’t.”

“I could rub your back,” he offers. It’s an offer he’s made countless times. An offer I have made to him in return. One I can no longer accept. I like the idea of his hands on me altogether too much.

“I will be fine.”

Damon stands, and my mouth goes dry. He really is the perfect picture of a male; strong, powerful, and more than capable. Regal, too, like a king. I can easily picture a crown atop his head. I can picture him riding into battle, sword drawn, a battle cry on his lips.

Fear snakes its way through every inch of me. He has many dangers to face. Many obstacles. I only wish I could be at his side. I would be a hindrance. I’m too afraid. A weakling, not just in body but in mind too or maybe I would at least try to change his mind about us.

It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say the words.

He blows out the candle. After a time, I realize that Damon has not come to bed. I sit up, clasping the sheet to my chest. The fool is lying on the floor. I can make out his dark shape. He’s taken his pillow and is lying there.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to sleep.”

“On the floor?”

“Yes.” He sounds like he is smiling, and quite broadly, at that.

I frown. “Why would you do that? This is a perfectly good bed with room enough for two.”

He shifts his position. “I think it best if I slept right here, Ky.”

“Why? Don’t be an idiot.”

“You know why.”

I frown. “Because we’re attracted to each other.” I huff out a breath of frustration. “If it helps any, I’m not going to jump on you in the middle of the night and…” I bite my lips and let the words die.

He puts his hands behind his head. “And what?” I think he’s smiling again.

I roll my eyes and snort. “You know very well. I won’t try anything, so you can come and sleep with me.”

“I’m afraid I can’t make the same promise, Ky.” His voice is so deep that I almost feel the vibration inside me.

My lungs fail me all over again. “Oh…um…oh. Well, okay, then…fine.” I need to stop talking.

I take the blanket off the bed, which leaves me with the sheet and a quilt. “You take this.”

“Thanks.” He grabs the blanket, puts it over himself, and lies back down. “Good night, Ky.”

“Good night.” I turn over, but my mind won’t stop working.

After a few minutes, he asks. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” I mumble.

“Out with it, or you’ll never be able to sleep. And you’re right; you need your rest.”

“Did you love Snow?” I finally push out.

There’s a pause. A really long pause. “Yes, I did.”

It’s like several poison-tipped arrows hit my heart all at once. I struggle to breathe again, but this time, for different reasons.

“I loved her once like a sister.”

I heard him say that, but then Xander said that Snow fell in love at the Ice Court. I thought that maybe their love had changed. I know that such things are possible.

“Xander said that Snow fell in love at the Ice Court. I thought that maybe…I um…”

“That it was with me.” He sounds like he is smiling, which is infuriating.

“Well, she wants you alive so that she can marry you, so why is that so farfetched?”

“You don’t know much about the fae, do you?”

“I’m from a small village in the human kingdom. We saw fae from time to time but were far removed from the courts.” I shrug. “So, to answer your question, no, I know very little about your kind.”

“Willowbrook,” Damon says the name of our small village.

“You remembered.”

“Of course. You told me stories of your home all the time.” He sighs, and it sounds sad. “Snow fell in love with my brother, Kyran. He fell in love right back. Snow used to be very different from the person she is today.”

“You said she was beautiful, both inside and out.”

“She was. The day before the wedding, Snow’s evil stepmother poisoned both Snow and Kyran. Many say that she was a witch. She has not been seen since that fateful day. Kyran fell down dead, and Snow was corrupted, her heart turned wicked.”

“I’m so sorry, Damon.”

“By morning, I was lost. I forgot who I was. I forgot everything. I thought I was a human and that my name was Taylor.”

“Up until the snowstorm hit.”

“Yes, and then I remembered. I never got to grieve my brother.” His voice is hollow.

“And I treated you so badly. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything you went through. I didn’t know.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kyrie. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I understand. You have nothing to feel bad about. Your reaction was perfectly normal.”

After a time, I say, “Now Snow wants to marry you? Why would she want that? Especially if she loved Kyran.”

“I remind her of him. We looked very much alike. She misses him and wants to replace him with me.”

“That’s sick, Damon.”

“Snow is sick.” His voice is a rough rasp. “I have to fix things, Ky. I have to fight this. We’ll find the rest of the lost kings and wage war. The realm will die otherwise. I need to do it, not just for my people but for everyone living in our realm. I need to do it for Kyran. He would hate what Snow has become. Only then can I start to live.”

“Of course you must. I know you’ll do it, Damon.” We lie in silence for an age, and then, thank Kakara, I fall asleep.