Chapter 23

23

D amon

The first thing I realize as I wake is that my cock is still hard as rock. The second is that I slept for hours. No one woke me to take over the watch. I must say, I’m grateful. I was exhausted, and Xander must have known it. He knows me well.

My cock twitches. Gods be damned! I can’t seem to help it. Her ass is right up against me. If I’m honest with myself – which isn’t always practical, and so I’m not – but, if I’m honest, I’ve been not just attracted to Kyrie but in love with her for a long time now. I’ve tried to fight it because we were friends. Kyrie never felt the same way about me, which meant I had to fight it. I still have to. Everything has changed, and yet that hasn’t.

It’s only since my change that Kyrie has viewed me as anything other than a friend. After my transformation, her looks were either of hate and mistrust or of desire. I saw her looking. I saw her eyes heat and how she couldn’t look away.

When Kyrie regarded me as a friend, it was easy to push my feelings down. To ignore them. This turn of events makes it more difficult. Kyrie is just as attracted to me now that we aren’t friends anymore. Now that I’m a fae.

Kyrie rubs up against me, grinding her ass against my cock. She’s just moving in her sleep, but my cock doesn’t seem to realize or care.

I bite back a moan as my balls pull tight. I’ve found release many times with thoughts of this female. Of how Kyrie would look if I was buried deep inside her. Of the noises she would make. Of how she would look while she was coming hard. Not just on my cock, but on my mouth, too. I’ve pictured her opening her legs wider for me or urging me on by digging her heels into my ass or how her nails would feel scratching my back.

Her whole body tenses when she wakes up. I feel it. I hear it in her breathing.

I don’t blame her, since my cock is pressed tightly against her. I can’t help it.

“Morning. Did you sleep okay?” I ask her like a complete idiot.

“Um…ahhhh…” She’s out of sorts. “Yes…better than I thought I would.” Then she’s scrambling out of the bedroll. Running away from me and my improper ways, and I can’t say I blame her.

“Morning,” Xander and his female say in unison. They’re still wrapped up together, all cozy.

I sit, staying under the blankets. I need to wait for things to calm down first before I can stand or do much of anything.

“I want to officially introduce you to my wife, Thesha,” Xander says. “Thesha, this is my good friend…Damon.”

I cringe inwardly, expecting him to say something about me being the king of the icefae. Bless Kakara because it doesn’t happen.

“Ummm…wife…wow! Congratulations. Nice to meet you, Thesha. You must have the patience of a saint and be half blind to have married Xander.”

Xander chokes out a laugh. “You’re such a prick,” he says in a good-natured manner that makes me smile.

I glance over at Kyrie, and the smile dies. I really need to come clean about who I really am. Perhaps she already knows, although I doubt it. I’m pretty sure she knows I’m hiding something. Maybe she even suspects what it is. From the look she is giving me, I think the latter is true. It’s with curiosity and uncertainty. She wouldn’t let me tell her, then I couldn’t tell her, and now, I…I don’t want to. I don’t scare easily, but I’m afraid of what her reaction would be. Especially now that we seem to be…finding each other again.

Will she hate me?

I hope not.

“No, really, you’ll have to explain to me what you saw in this scoundrel, Thesha.” I point at Xander using my thumb.

“I’ve asked myself the same thing quite a number of times.” Thesha smiles.

“Hey! Ganging up on me, I see.” Xander is smiling, too.

“How do you know each other?” Kyrie asks, looking from me to Xander.

“We’ve known each other since we were children. You could say that our families were friends, and so we became friends,” Xander says.

“Your families were friends,” she repeats. “Did you see each other often?”

“We’d have these big annual get-togethers that lasted several days.” Xander has this faraway look as he reminisces. “Each year, it was in a different kingdom, with each of the courts taking turns to host.” He chuckles. “We kids had the best time. We’d arrive in our finest silks, and within no time, we’d be covered in mud from head to toe. Our nursemaids had to work overtime to scrub us clean for the lavish dinners. Remember how we’d hunt and fish and generally run amok like complete ruffians instead of…instead of well-mannered youngsters?” He seems to catch himself toward the end. I think he’d probably intended to call us royals or young princes.

“Silks and nursemaids. I think it might be time you told me what in Kakara’s name is going on.” Kyrie looks at me, folding her arms. There is fire in her eyes. All I can think of is how beautiful she looks.

“You’re right,” I tell Kyrie. “It is overdue that I told you.”

“Does it have to do with why the queen wants to marry you?”

I nod.

“And why a spell was cast on you? And why there’s a bounty on your head? Why all of these fae groups are trying to catch you as we speak? It’s something you’ve been keeping from me this whole time, isn’t it?”

“That’s a little harsh, Kyrie. You didn’t want me to tell you anything. You made it clear that you weren’t interested in hearing about anything I had to say. The less you knew about me, the better.”

While we talk, Thesha and Xander get out from the bedroll and slip away, giving us some space.

“I was hurt. I thought you lied to me.”

“I wasn’t lying, I—”

“I know that now. I came to realize that…aside from your fae…traits, you’re the same as you always were. You’re Taylor deep inside.”

“I’m not Taylor, Kyrie. I’m not from a farm on the plains of Babel. I—”

“I know that.” She sounds irritated. “I know,” she adds, a little softer this time.

“I’m an icefae from the Ice Court.”

“You’re a duke or an earl or something, aren’t you?” she asks, and I must get a sheepish look because her eyes narrow. “Who are you, Damon? The prince?” Her eyes widen in shock, and her mouth drops open for a moment. “The king?” she whispers. “Are you the missing king?” Her eyes narrow. “That’s why you’re so important. Why there’s a bounty on your head and why the queen wants to marry you. Is that what you’re keeping from me?”

It’s hard for me to step forward and say it. My brother is the king…was the king. Not me. Never me, and yet…I am the king of the icefae.

I nod. “Yes, I am the lost icefae king, but I swear, I wasn’t keeping it from you on purpose. I wanted to tell you. At first, it was a relief, in a way, that you didn’t want to know. That you wouldn’t let me come clean. I knew you would hate me even more if you knew.”

She sucks in a breath as if to argue but then thinks better of it. We both know I’m right. “I don’t hate you. I never hated you. I was in shock, that’s all.”

“You weren’t ready to hear my story. Then Cyrano was our companion, and I thought it best if he didn’t know, which meant keeping quiet about it.”

“What about once we were captured? You could have told me then.”

“I was afraid…I still am. I don’t want you to hate me for who I am…for what I am.”

“A king,” she whispers. “You’re one of the lost kings. Once powerful and now a nobody. You’re not a nobody, Damon. That isn’t true, and once again, I don’t hate you. I wanted to hate you, but I could never.” She shakes her head.

“I’m glad, and right now, I wish I was a nobody.”

“Why would you say that? You shouldn’t say such a thing.”

“Let’s talk about that kiss.”

Her face goes blood red. “What kiss?”

I laugh. “Are you going to pretend it never happened? That you didn’t kiss me? Because I remember it clear as day.”

“It doesn’t count.” She’s still red, looking mildly panicked. “It was in the heat of battle. I thought we were dead, for sure.”

He smirks. “And you couldn’t face death without kissing me just once.”

“Okay…fine. I kissed you. It happened. I’m not sure why. Can we move on now, please?”

“No, we can’t move on. You kissed me because you feel something for me. Because you’re attracted to me.” I keep my eyes on hers.

“I thought you were going to die, and yes, I’m attracted to you, but I don’t like it at all, Damon. This is all so confusing. We were best friends. I can’t be attracted to you. It doesn’t feel right, and now I find out that you’re the lost icefae king. You’re the king.” Her eyes go wide, and she sucks in a deep breath before slowly releasing it. “It’s hard for me to get my head around it. All I know is that I’m confused and scared.”

I go over to her and put my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. For a few seconds, it feels like she might pull away, but she doesn’t; she melts into me. I want to tilt her chin up and take her lips. I want to taste her. I want so many things.

I don’t do any of them.

Instead, I pull away, and I let her go.

“I’m attracted to you too, Kyrie. I’ve had to work hard for a long time to see you as just a friend. It was getting more and more difficult. Then the storm hit.”

Her mouth has fallen open, and her eyes are filled with shock. She blinks a few times like she can’t quite believe what she just heard.

“Oh, I…um…I didn’t expect that. I’m taken aback,” she finally says. “You had feelings for me back at the salt mine?”

I nod. “Yes, I did.”

“That’s why you weren’t interested in Lona or any of the others?”

I lift my brows.

“I never noticed. I…I thought you… I never saw any signs. We were friends…great friends, but just friends.”

“I knew you didn’t see me as more. I talked myself into believing that I was fine with it. But things have changed now.”

“They have indeed changed.” She nods, biting on her lower lip.

“I’m attracted to you and see you as more than just a friend. There is no more denying it.”

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I want.” She folds her arms and licks her lips. “I just want things to be…to be normal. To be…” She looks around us. “I’m so sick of running and hiding. Of trying to survive day in and day out.”

“I know you are. I’m going to find somewhere safe for you, I promise. Somewhere where you can live in relative peace.”

“What about you?” Her eyes are big, round, and pleading. They’re a beautiful hazel, leaning more toward green than brown. There are gold flecks around her irises, and they’re so damn expressive. I could always tell how she was feeling just by looking into them, and that hasn’t changed. She’s afraid and unsure and completely off-kilter.

“I’m not a nobody, Kyrie. I’m a king. And as such, I have a duty to my people. To the realm. I must take action against Snow. You need to get to safety, and I need to build an army.” I take her hand. I trace the outline of her jaw with my thumb, cupping her face gently in my other hand. “I would like nothing better than to explore this…us, but—”

She pulls away. “Of course. No…we’re worlds apart. I’m sure there’s some royal fae you’re supposed to marry. Not some lowly human.” She snort-laughs, but it doesn’t hold much humor.

“That isn’t it at all. Love and a family are not my path right now. It won’t be for a very long time. My life is going to be wrought in danger. I may not survive. I have no business thinking about love or lust, let alone a family. Not until the realm is free. That could take years. It could take decades. I may not survive it. That is the reality of the situation.”

“Don’t say that.” Her eyes fill with sadness.

“It’s true. I need to get you to safety, and that means far away from me. I’m no good for you. I will get you killed, Ky. I would never live with myself if that happened.”

“It’s been you and me for so long. I somehow can’t picture a life without you in it.” Her eyes well with tears, but she blinks them away. “You’re right. I’m a liability. I’m holding you back. I’m weak.” She shrugs.

“You’re not weak. You’re a fighter. You stood up to those bloodfae. You can ride both a horse and a camel like you were born in the saddle. You’re kind and giving. Much to my disgust, you gave away many a token instead of taking the meat for yourself, even when you needed the sustenance. You always have a kind word to say. You won’t stand for injustice. You’re perfect, Kyrie, and don’t let anyone ever tell you anything different.”

She nods a few times. Her eyes still look a little hazy.

“We should probably get going soon.” Kyrie attempts a smile. It’s tight and doesn’t reach her eyes, which still look sad.

It’s going to kill me to walk away from this woman, but I have to. I have no other choice.