Chapter 23

"I understand his reasoning," Gaia said after the carriage pulled into the street.

"His lying?" Carina asked for clarification.

"You would have never given him the opportunity to court you had you known the truth."

"Because families like his would investigate my family, learn the truth, and reject me. There was no reason to put myself through that."

"Knight knows of that past and knew of it before he courted you."

Carina conveniently chose not to think on that.

"I do believe he loves you."

"He lied."

"Yes, but not for malicious purposes, but because he did not want to lose you and saw it as the only way."

Carina narrowed her eyes to her dearest friend. "How can you take his side?"

"I do not see it that way. In fact, I believe I see the situation far clearer because my emotions are not involved."

Carina blew out a breath. "Even if I accept, and possibly forgive what he did, which is unlikely, he has done something else that is just as bad as lie."

"What is that?"

"He turned his back on his family. Only his brother knows where he has been. Can you imagine the worry he has caused? They have a right to know where he is and what he has been doing."

Gaia sat forward. "Please tell me that you are not going to write them and betray Mr. Knight by revealing his whereabouts."

"He is lucky to have them, especially a mother and father who care. I would give anything to have my mother back."

"But not your father?"

"He was no more trustworthy than Knight, but his family has a right to know where he is."

"Are you certain you are doing this for them or is it revenge because you are hurting?"

Carina turned to stare out the window of the moving carriage. She was hurt, and angry and could not believe he disregarded a mother, father and two sisters. She wanted revenge. "Both!"

Felix had not lost his position and may have retained his friendships. He spoke with Lydell and Bolton long into the evening, sharing things that Felix had kept to himself since he'd ridden way from his home.

Once he returned with Lydell, he put his mind to learning everything that was necessary to become an excellent estate manager. Lydell had been without one for months and thought to be his own, which had not worked out as well as he had hoped. While Felix reviewed the documents that had been left behind, it became apparent that he had learned more about estate management at his grandfather's estate than he had realized. It had been one of his interests before he learned what his grandfather intended.

In no time, he had plans to improve the crops while he still insisted on managing the stables.

Keeping busy was necessary. It was the only thing that kept him from constantly thinking about Carina. Not that it really helped, but sleeping was worse. He hadn't slept through the night since Carina rejected him and when he did sleep, she invaded his dreams. She visited with promises that would never be.

He'd tried to talk to her after he returned, but she refused. In fact, each time he walked in a room, she left. If he found her in the gardens, she left. There was no place he could go that she would remain.

Felix had hoped that in time Carina would at least speak with him, allow him to explain again, beg for forgiveness and even grovel, if necessary, but she wouldn't.

On the other hand, Carina didn't even seem bothered. Maybe she hadn't cared for him as much as she claimed.

Except, if she had no feelings for him, she'd look him in the eye before she left. Worse, she was pale and there was light bruising beneath her eyes. Was she not sleeping either?

Bloody hell! Something had to be done, but he had no idea what he could do.

At the knock on his office door, Felix glanced up.

"Lord Lydell would like you at the castle," the maid of all work announced.

She had been the only servant he hired or could afford. Jenny was the daughter of the cook and happy to work in the cottage during the day and return to her mother in the evenings. It allowed her more experience than other kitchen maids.

Besides, Felix had needed someone to cook, clean and do laundry, but that would be the extent of any servant he would ever have.

"Thank you, Jenny." He rose from his desk then took the worn path to the castle.

When Lydell sent for him, it could be for conversation and a brandy, a game of chess or to discuss the estate. He never knew until he arrived.

However, what he had not expected was his mother and father.

Bloody hell!

Felix quickly looked around and only relaxed when he realized that his grandfather was not present.

"How did you find me?"