Chapter 22

She wanted to know the truth and tried to understand why he had lied to her, but Carina also kept her heart shielded.

"It is true that my grandfather is an earl and my father a viscount. I have an older brother who is the heir. I am the spare and I have two younger sisters."

She already knew of his family, just not that they were titled.

But what bothered her most was that he had turned his back on his family. "Does your grandmother still live, or other grandparents?"

"No, they do not," he answered.

"You have a family that you have avoided for over two years. How dare you take them for granted. If my mother was still alive, I would be spending every moment with her. Yet you set yours aside as if they do not matter." Carina stood, unable to remain seated. "Further you have lied to me about who you truly are. Were you just toying with my affection? Was it your intent to seduce me and then leave me be since you knew your family would never approve? Or did you intend to keep me as your mistress before you tired of me. You did hope that I would share the cottage with you."

"You asked her to share the cottage with you?" Bolton demanded.

"As my wife!" Felix shouted.

That was the first time he had used that word as it pertained to her and while such would have given her hope before, it no longer did. "Had you said the same when we spoke earlier, I might believe you. But I do not recall marriage, wife, or betrothal being said. I foolishly assumed…but you really could not offer any of that. Instead, you said I held your heart and that you wanted me to live in the cottage with you."

"I was very clear when we spoke how much I cared for you and what I hoped our future would be."

"Again, I simply assumed marriage, but it was never stated."

"It is what I meant," he yelled.

"Unfortunately, I no longer trust a single word that comes from your honeyed lips."

Maybe he had meant marriage and it had been her assumption. But maybe he hadn't and was only making that claim now because Lord and Lady Lydell were present, as well as Bolton, who was ready to punch him again.

"I would like an explanation," Gaia announced. "Why hide from your family, or who you are?"

At the change of topic, Carina slipped back into her seat.

"Because my grandfather has decided the future for his children and grandchildren without them being consulted. He already lost one daughter because of his interference. She ran away and he never saw her again, nor did my father."

"What plans did he have for you?" Lydell asked.

"To increase wealth and power. He first betrothed me to Miss Daphne Kirkwood, the youngest daughter of a baronet, without asking, nor of me having ever met her, because she was an heiress. He then arranged a position for me with the East India Company as a writer."

"What is a writer?" Carina asked, then was sorry that she had. She didn't want to speak to him ever again.

"A clerk in India."

"Why would he want to send you to India?"

"It ensured that I would have a future. Though I had to begin as a clerk, there is the opportunity for more with higher positions in the company, but I had to first begin as a writer. It was his intention that I be promoted as high as possible and gain power that would eventually benefit him."

"If he wanted you to work for the East India Company in India why also push a betrothal and marriage?" Bolton asked.

"Do you know that many British officers and gentlemen working for the East India Company also take Indian wives. My grandfather would have me marry a proper English woman and not be tempted to marry anyone else."

Carina wondered if that prejudice extended to Italian wives, which was likely, and another reason why Felix would not have married her.

"He was arranging your future position and your future wife," Lydell clarified.

"In a way that it was agreeable to him and which had nothing to do with what I wanted."

"So, you ran away?" Carina pointed out.

"Running away sounds juvenile. I simply left home and removed his control over me. I far prefer being a coachman and working in the stables to being my grandfather"s puppet."

"Is your brother the only one who knows where you have been and what you have been doing?" Carina asked.

"Yes."

"There is no way to break the betrothal?" Lady Lydell asked.

"It can only be done if I marry someone else." He looked at Carina as he said the words.

"So, now I am a means to an end." This was getting worse by the moment.

Felix came to his feet. "I love you. I was smitten with you when you stepped out of that carriage, as I told you. I have been trying to court you for months but you did not take me seriously until you were forced to be courted by Bolton. I proposed to you today. I want you as my wife. I love you, Carina."

"You did not propose. You asked me to live in your cottage." She stood and placed her teacup on the table. "But none of that matters. You kept secrets. You know everything about me, even the horrible scandal my father caused, but you could not bring yourself to tell me who your family was or about your betrothal."

"You would not have allowed me to court you had I."

She stared at him for a moment. "Not likely. However, had you explained your circumstances and reasons why you left them behind, I may have tried to understand. Instead, I had to learn everything from Clarkston." Carina tilted her head and frowned. "Now I wonder if I would have ever learned had Miss Daphne not come to Bath."

"I was going to tell you after we wed," he insisted. "If you knew who my grandfather was, or even my father, you would have once again found your place among the wallflowers and ignored me because for some reason you have gotten it into your head that you are not worthy of anyone in Society."

He hated that her eyes were watering and that she was about to cry, but it was the bloody truth. "I needed to win you first. I needed you to love me and be my wife because I was afraid that I would lose you."

"You intended to trap me. Marry me under false pretenses," she clarified.

"No. That isn't…" except she was right and he hadn't even considered that is what he'd be doing.

"It no longer matters, Mr. Knight. Even if I had cared for you, even loved you, I could never marry a man I could not trust." She turned to Gaia. "Could we go home now?"

"Please, stay." Felix hated that he was begging her, but he feared that if she walked out that door that he'd never have another chance to win her.

"There is nothing more to say." With that, she turned on her heel and swept out of the room.

Lady Lydell stood as well. "I will see her home."

"I will return with Knight. We still have matters to discuss."

Felix's stomach tightened. Before he left, Bolton was likely to call him out and he would be sacked by Lydell. He'd already lost Carina so there was no point in remaining in Bath.