Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

Oh, boy.

Falcon was temptation, so much more than Bella had any business challenging herself with.

They’d been at the catering event for an hour, and Falcon had been circling her, on high alert, watching the crowd, completely standing out among the throngs of well-dressed people. He was wearing jeans, boots, and a light jacket that covered his gun. He looked like a bodyguard.

There was nothing soft or approachable about him.

She was pretty sure everyone there would believe he had spent some time as an assassin for the military or something comparable.

He was hard. He was cold. He was focused.

But after today, she knew the soft side of him, and it was too much to handle, honestly.

He made her want to give up her dreams to be with him, and that would destroy her.

“Bella!”

She turned as Piper and Kitty walked up, grinning with relief to have some girl energy near her. Tears filled her eyes when she saw them. “Hey, guys.”

“Whoa!” Kitty put her hands on her hips. “What’s with the tears?”

“I’m not crying. I don’t cry.” Bella wiped her cheeks. “It’s all the onions.”

“For all that’s beautiful and girly, don’t lie to me, Bella,” Kitty said. “What is going on?”

“I just—” Involuntarily, Bella’s gaze went to Falcon, who was still making his rounds, always nearby, but also, always watching everyone in the crowd.

Piper and Kitty followed her gaze, then Piper grinned. “You slept with him?”

Bella lifted her chin. “No, I?—”

Kitty snorted. “Another lie! Girl, I’m going to have to retract my recommendation for you to buy Diana’s business! I don’t like lies!”

Piper frowned at Bella, ignoring her business partner. “What’s going on?”

Bella hesitated, but these were the women she wanted to be friends with. This was the life she wanted to build in Boston. “I’m falling for him, but he wants to get married, have kids, and live on the Hart Ranch. I need to get off the ranch, find my own identity, and I don’t want to get married or have kids.” She paused. “But I feel like I would walk away from everything that matters to me for him.”

Understanding filled Piper’s face. “The curse of being a woman,” she said softly. “All we ever read are stories where women do that.”

Kitty looked over at Falcon, and Bella braced herself for more sass.

But Kitty surprised her.

“Bella,” Kitty said. “You came out here for you. It’s too soon for you to go back.”

Bella bit her lip. “I know?—”

“If he’s right for you, he’ll wait.”

“He doesn’t want to wait. He wants a family.” She paused. “He needs a family. And I don’t want kids. I just…I don’t. I never have. I mean, I didn’t before. Not that I do now. I don’t.” She stopped, confusing herself.

Piper frowned. “Are you saying you’d have kids for him?”

Oh, God. Was she saying that? “I don’t know, but going back to the ranch…” She sighed. “I’ve had a crush on him since I was sixteen. I don’t know if that’s what’s driving my emotions right now. Or if he’s just the right guy for me, even today.”

Kitty put her hands on her hips. “I’ll tell you something, Bella. I met my husband at the peak of my pop star career. I told him I wasn’t going to give up my career any time soon, and he said that was fine. But it wasn’t. Our marriage couldn’t survive my travel. When we had kids, I had to choose to reduce my travel, because at the end of the day, it’s the woman who usually has the responsibility for the kids and family.”

Piper raised her hand. “That’s not how it has to be.”

“No, but that’s how it is.” Kitty held out her hands. “I love my kids. I have never regretted all the love I gave them, but does a part of me regret not giving myself the love I needed and wanted? Yes.” She touched Bella’s shoulder. “You need to love yourself first, sweetheart. Take time to do that. Maybe eventually you’ll decide you want kids and a family, and if Falcon’s the right guy, he’ll be around. But maybe you won’t, and then he’s not the right guy.”

“Unless he changes his mind,” Piper said. “He might decide he doesn’t want kids and to get married.”

Bella thought about how he’d looked at Gordy and the other kids. “It’s in his soul to protect kids. He needs it.” She knew why he needed it: to erase the darkness that coated his past, to find a way to believe he had worth.

Kitty cocked her head. “Do you think there’s any chance you would ever want to get married or have kids?”

Bella shook her head. “It feels like a trap. I’ve been trapped for so long.”

Piper raised her hand. “I need to speak up here. I was very anti-dating, let alone marriage, but with the right guy, it isn’t a trap. It’s liberating. It’s like having your own secret weapon in life.”

Bella pressed her lips together. She knew that Piper had had a tough past, and she’d been very opposed to dating, let alone settling down and getting married. She also knew that magic had happened with Piper and Declan. She sighed as she looked over at Falcon.

He was leaning against a pillar nearby, arms folded, scanning the room.

He seemed to sense her looking at him, because his gaze swiveled toward her. His face softened, and he smiled, a smile that went right to her heart. God, she wanted him.

Piper put her arm around Bella’s shoulders. “The way he looks at you is how Declan looks at me.”

“He sure does,” Kitty said. “Damn, girl. You’ve got yourself entangled already. Why even question it? Dive in and see where the ride takes you.”

“I agree,” Piper said. “Go have fun. If it works out, it’s worth it.”

Bella thought about getting on a plane with Falcon, walking away from these women, from Boston, from her independence, to move back to the ranch she’d lived on for so long. To cooking for dude ranch guests. To being the same as she always had been. “I’m more than who I’ve let myself be,” she whispered.

“We all are,” Kitty agreed.

Bella pulled her shoulders back. “I’m going to buy the catering business.”

Piper and Kitty raised their brows. “Are you doing that just to give you an anchor here so you can’t run back to the ranch?” Kitty asked.

“Absolutely,” Bella said.

“Fantastic. Motivation is everything.” Kitty grinned. “The beauty of being a wealthy woman is that you can make choices like that. Own the fact you have options, Bella. Let’s go find Diana. We’ll be delighted to work with you, right Piper?”

“Of course we are.” Piper was frowning though. “Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, don’t buy a business just because you want to anchor yourself here. At least buy one you want to do.”

Bella was restless. “I know how to cook. It will be great. Let’s go.” She wanted an anchor. She wanted something for herself. A business that wasn’t tied to her family. Something for herself.

Piper sighed. “Bella, it’s amazing to have a business you really care about. Hold out for it.”

“I don’t have any other skills,” Bella blurted out. “I don’t know how to do anything but cook, ride horses, and be a sister. This is what I can do. I’m doing it.” She felt like crying right now, she was so desperate. She wanted to feel excitement, but all she felt was absolute desperation. “Where’s Diana, Kitty? Can you introduce us? I want to get it done tonight.”

Piper shook her head. “You can’t just sign a contract. You need a lawyer to look at it?—”

“I know.” This was one area Bella knew what she was doing. The Harts had come from so little, that they’d all been very vigilant about educating themselves about money and contracts. “The Harts don’t sign any contract without having it vetted. We'll get the letter of intent tonight, then hammer out the details.” She looked at Kitty. “Ready?”

“Yep.” Kitty shot Piper a look and then took Bella’s arm. “She’s in the kitchen. Let’s go, honey. Owning a business feels amazing. You’ll love it.”

Bella nodded, nerves gripping her belly as she let Kitty lead her toward the kitchen. She knew she wasn’t ready to own a business, to decide she wanted to be in food, but she also knew if she waited until she was ready, she’d never change anything about her life.

Falcon raised his brows, and she pointed toward the swinging doors. “We’re going to the kitchen to make a deal.”

He fell in beside them, accompanying them. “You’re buying it?”

“Yes.”

“You sure about that?”

“No.”

To her surprise, her answer made him smile. “Good. Take a risk you can afford. It always pays off, even when it fails.”

That reaction, that belief, made something inside her settle. On some level at least, maybe recklessly buying a small business she didn’t even want made sense, even if she didn’t know how at this time.

As she thought it, she realized he was right.

She was going to own her own business. Not her family’s. Hers.

It felt good. Empowering. Liberating. Scary, but also…freaking awesome.

Then she looked over at Falcon, and saw a grim expression flit across his face. He saw her looking and replaced the grimness with a smile that almost went to his eyes.

Almost.