Chapter 20

TWENTY

Bella knew the minute Falcon committed to what was happening between them.

His kisses took on a new level of heat. His hands came alive, skimming over her body like he would never be able to touch her enough. His mouth took control, and she gave it over to him.

His fingers played around the hem of her shirt, testing, but not making a move. His cautiousness made her smile. She paused and pulled back. “Falcon. I need to have a word with you.”

His gaze was sharp and attentive. “What’s up?”

She took a breath. “Last night, at the wedding, one of my friends, I’m guessing Tori, put a multipack of condoms in my purse after they all agreed you were smoking hot and there for me. I found them this morning, and I put them in my nightstand.”

His fingers tightened on her hip and his gaze shot to the little white table to his left. “Is that so?”

“Yes. There are three different colors. Blue. Yellow. Green.”

A slow smile began to play at the corners of his mouth. “I look good in blue.”

She giggled. “I was thinking the same thing this morning. It really brings out your eyes.”

“My brown eyes?”

“Exactly.” She paused, her heart starting to race. Could she do this? Yes. Should she? Probably not. Did she want to do it anyway? She paused to listen to her inner voice. Yes.

All right. Future be damned. This was her moment. She could be dead tomorrow. Why not live tonight?

Before she could think about it, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it over her head. Her pink sports bra wasn’t exactly sexy, but the look on his face made her feel like the most gorgeous woman who had ever graced the earth.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, tracing his fingers over her ribs, as if he were afraid she was so fragile he could break her.

She smiled. “Thanks.” She grabbed the hem of his shirt and gave a light tug, raising her brows in question.

“Hell, yeah.” He sat up, pulled his shirt off, and tossed it aside, revealing a chiseled, lean torso with a six pack, a farmer’s tan, and more than a few scars. He was so tough, raw, and sexy. Everything she’d imagined, and a thousand times more.

He didn’t lie back down. Instead, using those delicious abs, he slid his hands around her waist and drew her in for a kiss that was made so much more intense by the fact that his bare chest was against her now, creating an intimacy they’d never before had.

She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and settling deeper in his lap as she locked her legs around his waist.

The kiss soon became hotter, his hands bolder, his mouth naughtier, until he finally got daring enough to toss her bra aside and showcase his talents on her breasts. It had been a long time since she’d had any kind of man action, and Falcon unleashed new waves of need and desire she’d never let herself feel before.

Was it because she felt safe with him? Was it because of years of longing? Was it because he was a rebel and a loner, and that appealed to the side of her that was trying to get away from her life and her identity? Or simply because he was who he was, and he was the one for her?

She had no answers, but when both their pants hit the floor, she decided it didn’t matter.

This moment with Falcon was perfection, and all she wanted was for her silly mind to take a break and let her experience the magic of Falcon’s lovemaking.

His body was hot and muscular, and his palms were rough and insanely tender as he palmed her belly, inviting her to be still while his mouth created sensations she hadn’t realized could happen in real life.

She slid her fingers through his hair, needing to ground herself in him as the desire coiled tighter and tighter. He looked up, caught her hand, and pressed a kiss to her fingertips. “You okay?”

She nodded, her throat suddenly tight.

He frowned and moved up her body, settling his hips on hers. “Tears?” He brushed his finger over her cheek, and she realized she was crying. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

She wiped the back of her hand over her cheek, and it came away wet. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I just…” She paused. “It’s a lot to be here with you. How you make me feel.”

He continued to frown. “I feel like the fact I make you cry isn’t a good thing.”

“No, it is.” She laughed through her tears. “I’ve never felt like this before. It’s…” She paused trying to find the words, but there were none strong enough to describe it. Finally, she put his hand over her heart. “I feel it in here, and it feels amazing.”

He smiled then, a slow, beautiful smile that spread across his face into his eyes. “Me, too.”

Her heart did a little leap. “Is it bad to admit that I really want you to make love to me?”

“Bad?” A wicked gleam came into his eyes. “You want bad?”

Her belly clenched. “Is there a Bad Falcon?”

“Every part of me is bad.”

“It’s not.”

He laughed. “I know. I also know you know. And no, it’s not bad to admit it. It’s fantastic, because I feel the same way.”

Her heart started racing. “You want it. And I want it. And you look good in blue---”

“I also look good in yellow and green.”

“Maybe we should try them all.”

“I think we should.” Without moving off her, he reached for the nightstand, flipped the drawer open, and pulled out a condom. “Green first?”

“I love green.” She felt like she was already out of breath, and she shifted restlessly, wanting more, needing more. Needing what he gave her: freedom, passion, safety, fantasy fulfillment…pure, unconstrained heat.

Falcon made quick work of the condom, but before she had time to get nervous, he apparently decided to make very, very sure she was ready, oh, so ready.

She tipped her head back, gasping as he made his way down her body, taking advantage of every curve, every crevice, every nerve in her body. Within moments, she was completely lost to him. “Falcon,” she whispered. “I want you.”

“And I want you, my beautiful Bella.” He moved back up her, and met her gaze as he slipped inside her. She felt like she was falling into his soul, tumbling freely, in full surrender, trusting him to catch her without fail, no matter how many times she fell.

Then he began to move, and she forgot about everything except fully surrendering, letting go of all her protections, and just trusting.

For what felt like a whisper in time and also forever, sensations flooded her, stripping her of all but the deepest core of her humanity, and then the orgasm took her, sweeping her off the cliff and catapulting her through the air, while he held her safely in his arms, protecting her the whole way down.

Falcon buried his face in Bella’s hair, watching the setting sun peeking through the corners of the blinds, holding her close while she slept.

All afternoon with her.

Complete surrender.

Full trust.

Laughter.

Fun.

Passion.

Connection.

It was that last one that was still vibrating deep inside him. Connection. There were times that he had felt like one with Bella. He’d felt fully safe with her, and he’d never felt safe in his life.

Not because she would shoot anyone who came for them, but because she held his soul with the greatest of care, and he knew it would always be safe in her hands.

He breathed deeply, inhaling the flowery scent of her hair as he draped his leg over her hips.

Being with Bella had been so much more than he ever could have guessed.

She was his whole world. Worth waiting all this time.

But what did the future hold? She didn’t want to get married. Have kids. Move back to the ranch. She didn’t even want a relationship.

Would he give up all the things he wanted for a sliver of the light that she was willing to give him?

Right now, he felt no doubt. Absolutely. Without hesitation.

But he also knew that he would always regret not having a family. A wife. Kids. A home.

Would that regret be fair to her? To him?

Maybe he was lying to himself that he could handle a family. Maybe she was right. Maybe this was the path he was supposed to be on.

And then he thought of Gordy, and the other kids in his group. The kids who had no home, like him. Who never would have a home, unless he made one for them.

He pulled back to look at Bella, sleeping in his arms. Bella. He loved her. Always had. With all the capability of what was left of his heart. Was it enough? And, enough for what, exactly?