Chapter 21

Lucas walked for a long time,paying close attention to how Maddie"s body felt against his. She was wrapped so tightly around him that he could feel the tension in her body ebbing away. He could feel her ribs expand as she was able to breathe deeper.

Most importantly, he could sense the change in her energy as the panic lost its grip and gave her back to herself.

He loved carrying her. He loved that she trusted him. He loved that she"d let him into her space when she"d been at her most vulnerable.

He was a born protector, and that instinct was especially high with Maddie.

And that instinct forced him to know when it was time to step aside and let her find her strength again. He had a lifetime dealing with his family, and he knew how important that was. He stopped. "Maddie." He kept his voice gentle, well aware of how she"d reacted to her dad yelling. The moment he"d seen her covering her ears, he"d made a promise to himself to never, ever, under any circumstance, raise his voice when he was around her.

The protector was at work.

"What?" she asked.

"Time for you to walk."

She stiffened. "Are you getting tired of carrying me?"

"Nope. I"d carry you all day. But you need to take your power back now. I"m going to let you down." He released her legs, and she slid down his body to her feet.

She put her hand on his arm, and he could see that her legs still felt shaky. "I"ll escort you. Come on, my lady." He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm, then began to walk.

Maddie decided to keep up with him, and he smiled as she leaned against his side, keeping her hand tucked around his elbow as she walked beside him.

He knew the moment she looked around, because her little gasp was exactly what he"d expected. "Where are we?"

"We call it Hart Pond," he said. "It"s fed by a river that runs through our property. It"s small, but we take care of it to make it an oasis." Hart Pond was the reason his family had chosen this land to buy. It was rich with flowers and trees, and it had a little clearing with grass. The Harts had put out some seating, and planted an abundance of wildflowers. It was now a haven for wildlife, and most of the Harts spent time there to decompress.

He knew because he saw his siblings there when he went there for himself.

"Oh." Maddie"s hand tightened on his arm. "It"s like heaven."

"I thought you might like it." He gestured to several chairs set up along the shore. They were wooden Adirondack chairs, and he saw that someone, probably one of his sisters, had added thick cushions recently. "Want to sit for a moment?"

"I do." She hurried over to the chair closest to the water"s edge and sank down like she was becoming a part of it. He could practically see her inhaling the energy of the pond.

Violet trotted down to the edge of the water and started playing. Lucas stood beside Maddie, scanning around them. He saw three guards on horses, and he nodded at them, relieved to see them.

It meant he could focus on Maddie.

He sat down in the chair beside her. "Maddie?—"

"Can I sit with you?" she interrupted. "On your chair?"

Satisfaction pulsed through him. "Of course." He leaned back, holding out his hands to guide her as she sat on his lap and tucked her feet under her. She leaned back against his chest and let her head rest on his shoulder.

He locked his arms around her waist, and she rested her hands on his.

It was intimate and peaceful, and he felt like he could stay there for the rest of his life.

Maddie relaxed into him, and she took a deep breath. "Thank you for not making me feel like an idiot for falling apart."

He rested his chin on her shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me to stay with you."

She picked up his hand and began to play with his fingers, making him smile. "My dad"s a good man. I love him completely."

His smile faded. "I know."

"He never yells. That"s why I freaked out. I wasn"t ready for it." She sat up suddenly. "I should go back to him. I completely bailed on him?—"

"He"s fine, sweetheart. Tristan picked him up." Lucas began to rub her back, and he smiled when Maddie settled back against him. "Your dad has his own trauma. I get that. I don"t blame him." Well, he did a little, but he was trying his best to support Maddie. "But he doesn"t get to put it on you. You did the right thing to take your space." Hell, Jacob had spent much of his life at a distance from the rest of them…not that bringing up Jacob was a good call right now.

"I need to talk to him."

She pulled out her phone, but he interrupted. "I"ll have Tristan bring him over to the house later."

She paused. "Your house?"

"Yep."

Maddie was quiet for a moment, then she looked down at her phone. He could see her warring with the decision of whether to call her dad. He"d instructed them to keep their phones off for the duration of their stay, in case they were being tracked.

If she chose to use it, they"d adjust. In a way, it would almost be better to have Les come after her there. They could catch him and end it sooner.

Finally, after a long moment, she put her phone on the armrest, leaned back, picked up Lucas"s hand again, and began playing with his fingers. He loved her need to touch him, even absently. Their physical connection was real, and it went far beyond the amazing sex they"d had earlier. "Lucas?"

"Yeah?"

"What"s your history? What"s your story?"

He let out his breath. Fuck. He didn"t like to talk about it, but he knew Maddie needed to hear it. She needed to know she wasn"t the only one with the kind of past that could knock him on his ass.

"My mom was a drug addict," he said.

Her hand tightened around his. "I"m sorry."

He shrugged. "It is what it is. I don"t blame her for that. She spent a lot of time in jail before she died of an overdose, and I lived with my aunt and uncle." He shifted, trying to ease the tension that crept up on him.

Even after all this time, he never forgot what it had been like.

"Were they bad?"

He reached around her and pulled up his sleeve. The round circles on his forearm were the same as many of the Stockton brothers had. The Stocktons had become the Harts" extended family after one of his sisters had married into the Stockton clan.

Maddie touched the scars. "Cigarettes?"

"Yep. There"s more like that. And other stuff."

Maddie put her hand over his forearm, then she bent down and pressed a kiss to the old scars.

Lucas sucked in his breath, stunned by the gesture. "No one has ever done that," he said quietly.

"Sometimes the only way to heal is to fill the wound with so much love that it takes up all the space and crowds out the damage."

He leaned his forehead against her back as she went down his arm, kissing each little circle. "When I was twelve," he said, "my uncle stabbed me. I got out of the house and went on the run. It got infected, but I knew if I went to the doctor, they"d send me back or put me in foster care. I decided I"d rather die."

Maddie twisted around to look at him.

He slid his hand along her jaw, needing her touch to ground him. "Brody found me in an alley. I was almost dead. He took me to the hospital, and then, as soon as I was well enough, he snuck me out. He saved my life, and gave me a family. I owe him and my siblings everything."

Maddie frowned at him. "You"ve been on your own since you were twelve?"

He nodded. "It was better than being with my aunt and uncle, or in foster care. There aren"t a lot of good options for kids with bad homes."

She searched his face. "I"m so sorry, Lucas."

He shook his head and put his finger on her lips. "Don"t feel sorry for me. I have an incredible family. Every single morning, I wake up and remind myself how lucky I am. I"m grateful for my life every day…" He paused. "Even when it sucks."

She frowned. "How does it suck?"

He took a breath, but forced himself to abide by the Hart promise of honesty. "I still have nightmares from time to time. Sometimes, I feel like that little kid again, unable to defend myself, the memories are so vivid."

"What do you do when that happens?"

"Grab a horse and go out for a ride, usually. Call one of my siblings. Go take care of the horses." He shrugged. "Remind myself why I"m still alive."

She was watching him intently. "What do you do for a job?"

He shrugged. "I work on the ranch."

"Taking care of the family and the horses?"

He loved the way she was running her fingers over his forearms, as if her touch could erase the scars that his skin still carried. "Yeah."

"What do you do for yourself?"

He closed his eyes, focusing on the feel of her on his lap. It was an intimate connection, and he never wanted to move. "Take care of my family."

"But what do you want to do?"

"Take care of my family," he repeated, frowning, tensing a little bit at her questions. He opened his eyes to look at her, trying to get a read on what she was getting at. "Why?"

She shrugged. "It"s just that working at the flower store helps me, because I"m involved with a cause bigger than myself. I love creating joy and giving joy. And now that I"m working with weddings through Piper, it really helps, too."

Her eyes lit up as she spoke, and the faintest hint of envy sparked through him, startling him. He didn"t want more than what he had. His family was everything. He was complete. "It"s great you have the flower store," he said, meaning it.

She bit her lip. "I hope it"s all right. Did you text Piper that she could go there?"

"I did. She said she, Tori, and Keira are heading over there in the morning."

Emotion filled her face. "I wish I was there. I miss them."

Her love for them was etched on her face, making Lucas swear silently. He could never take Maddie away from her home. He could never ask her to move to Oregon and live on the ranch. Her world and her support system were in Boston.

His was in Oregon.

There was no way to fix facts like that. Hell.

Maddie frowned at him. "What"s that anguished look for?"

He took a breath. "You won"t ever leave Boston, will you?"

She shook her head. "No. Why?"

"I can"t leave my family."

She stared at him for a second, confusion etched on her face, then understanding dawned. "Oh."

He leaned forward, caught her face in his, and kissed her. Hard. Intense. Needing to connect with her.

Maddie kissed him back just as fiercely, and the kiss went from desperate to searing hot instantaneously. He needed this woman. He needed her with every fiber of his soul. And there was no way to have her. Not for real. Not for beyond this moment in time.

He slid his hands through her hair, continuing to kiss her, to taste her, to breathe her in.

"Well," she whispered, between kisses. "At least that makes you safe for me to be with. I never have to worry about you taking over my life."

"Just a one-night stand?" Fuck. He was surprised at how much he didn"t like the sound of that.

"It"s perfect for me." She kissed him before he could see her face and try to read her emotions as she spoke.

Perfect. Was it? No. It wasn"t. But what else did they have?

This moment. That was it.

It wasn"t going to be enough. He knew it already. This woman had gotten under his skin and inside his soul, and he"d just met her.

And he was going to lose her. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But eventually?

Yes.