Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Gemma was about to make her excuses to leave. It was poor manners to visit too long even at invitation.
“Your Grace, as much as I have enjoyed being here today, I do think it is time to take my mother home,” Gemma said and heard the disappointment in her own voice.
“My Lady, please can I see you soon. A tea, a promenade, even if you come to my estate to give further advice. Allow me the honor of spending time with you.” Lothar said it all with such charm that Gemma found it impossible to say no.
“I will help in a few weeks with harvesting, Your Grace, I can also get you a good stall at the market. For now, I would like to invite you to tea the day after tomorrow.” Gemma replied.
“Could I not see you tomorrow, My Lady?” Lothar asked.
“I think it would be best that you settle your argument with the baroness, Your Grace. Mend things with your friend and then we are free to enjoy the last two months.” Gemma replied.
I will go see her, My Lady. Only because it is something you want me to do. I personally have no reason to speak with her.” Lothar replied.
“I am sure you will thank me in the future, Your Grace.” Gemma said even as her stomach felt uneasy at the thought of Lothar going to see the baroness. She was not the type of woman to expect to be everything to her husband. She understood that he would have interests and friends beyond her. Then there was the fact that Lothar had told her that he no longer felt the same about the baroness. It did nothing to ease the jealousy that crept in.
She felt like she missed him the moment he said goodbye to her. Gemma watched as he left and heard a commotion in the house. Gemma turned to find her mother in a near state of panic.
“Your great grandmother is arriving today.” Was all her mother said as she whirled past her. Her mother did not have to say much else. Her father’s mother was the only great grandparent she had and was the only person who made her mother so frazzled. She did not visit unless something had upset her, and she was on her way to make things right. Making things right usually meant that she wanted something her way and would accept nothing less.
Gemma looked for her mother to see where she could be of assistance. Servants rushed about the house cleaning where it had already been cleaned. Cook was hard at work preparing a meal that would suit her very specific requirements, while Gemma paced around helping where she could. They had just sat down to rest and have tea when it was announced that her great grandmother had indeed arrived.
Gemma went to greet her great grandmother with a knot already fired in her stomach. The woman had a presence about her that exuded sternness and cruelty. Gemma’s mouth went dry the moment she laid eyes on the older woman.
“Must it take you such a long time to greet me! I did send word after all,” she said as her grandparents and parents stood together to greet her. “Decided to grace us with your presence Gemma? Oh I still dislike that name so. Why not go with Emma and at least such a manly young lady would have a chance in society.”
Her grandmother said in a disgusted tone. Her piercing blue eyes danced up and down as she seemed to scrutinize every inch of her appearance. She stood at nearly half the height of Gemma, but her meanness made her an imposing figure.
She could not easily forget as a child how she had frightened Gemma. She had always felt safe and protected with her parents and had been excited to meet her father’s grandmother. The woman had looked at her excited little face as though she was an insect.
She could not understand why this woman disliked her or what was wrong with her. She had then seen how poorly her grandmother had treated her parents and had returned the dislike.
“At least tell me you have found a husband.” Her great-grandmother said not bothering to greet her.
“Actually Grandmother,” Gemma’s mother said. “Gemma is currently in a courtship with a duke.”
Her mother looked very satisfied to deliver the news.
Finding a way to help everyone understand that I do not want marriage is going to be more difficult than being married. Gemma thought as she watched in silence as her future was being decided in front of her.
“Is this the same duke who has been in disgraceful pursuit of another woman, even when she was married?” Her grandmother asked and her heart sank.
“Mother, we have met the duke, and he is a good man. The woman in question is merely a part of his childhood,” her mother replied. Gemma smiled at her mother’s defense of him.
“A childhood he has yet to grow out of it would seem. I met with The baroness Whitcombe herself and she seemed perfectly of sound mind. She told me that she still sees the good duke. I will not allow our name to be dragged through the mud!” Her great grandmother yelled. The walking cane she had till now concealed in her overcoat could be heard banging on the wooden floors as she spoke.
“Grandmother, do not get upset over rumors,” her father said, intervening when the conversation seemed to get heated.
“Girl, is it true or not that this duke of yours is not only having tea here?” Her great grandmother asked in a way that made known that an answer was wanted promptly.
Put in that manner it did put Lothar in a bad light. Gemma thought as her mother replied to her great-grandmother. Gemma did not hear what she had said
Gemma had been too deep in thought. Gemma had hoped that she could introduce Lothar and that she might like him. Now that she had first heard only negative things about him, she may as well forget about seeing him at all.
“I asked you a question, girl,” her great grandmother snapped in her direction.
“Pardon me, great-grandmother.” Gemma apologized.
“Well it is no small wonder you do not have a husband! You cannot even focus for a few sentences,” Her great grandmother spat out and demanded to be taken to where she could get something to eat.
Gemma stood there feeling very unsettled. It was not that she wanted her great Grandmother’s blessing. She had only a few moments ago told Lothar that she still did not believe that they had a future together. Yet now being told that her decisions were being made for her, made her want to rebel and cling to Lothar.
Dare I do it? Dare I forget that he has in fact seen the baroness as an option for marriage until recently? Perhaps if it was only to show my great-grandmother that I would not be told what to do when it came to my love life. Gemma thought as she reluctantly followed her parents and her great-grandmother.
“Not you,” her great-grandmother said, and closed the door to the tea room.
This is about my future, and she has the nerve to shut me outside! Gemma thought as she made to storm off but then decided to stay, thinking she could hear what was being said if she listened carefully. Gemma was not in the habit of listening in on other people’s conversations. Lately with Lothar and her great-grandmother, it had felt like a necessity.
Both conversations had a lot to do with my future after all. Gemma thought as she went down on her knees and put her ear to the door.
“…Cannot be allowed to go on.” Gemma heard her great-grandmother’s voice pierce her ears even through the wooden door. Gemma could hear her mother’s voice next but could not make out what she was saying. They took turns and Gemma heard less than she had with the conversation Lothar had with her father.
Her father’s voice could be heard in between them but he did not speak often. There was a long silence in which Gemma thought they might be coming out. She moved from the door and waited. When she did not hear footsteps coming closer, she moved closer to listen at the door again.
“…Think this is the wrong decision.” Gemma heard part of what her father said. Her stomach dropped as she realized that a decision had been made. By the way her father sounded upset, she could only draw the conclusion that it was against his wishes. Seeing as he had given Lothar his blessing, it must mean that her great-grandmother had not.
Gemma got up and made her way into the garden. She hoped the openness of the gardens would help her regain the much-needed oxygen into her lungs. It only seemed to make it worse.
I will not allow them to decide for me. If I get married or not it will be my decision and only mine. Gemma walked without knowing where she was going. She suddenly wished that Lothar had not left and wondered if he would return if she asked him to.
That may cause more harm than good. I would hate great-grandmother to be horrid to Lothar. Gemma thought as it dawned on her that her quick pace was making her feel more out of breath. She stopped and flopped onto a large rock. The relief she felt in her legs was immense and Gemma wished she could extend its condition to her heart.
Do I want Lothar more now that it may be that I may no longer see him? No, I like Lothar as a person. Not for his title or to spite my great-grandmother. Gemma thought and felt pleased that she felt that way.
Something inside Gemma felt daring. She did not need to go into the house to hear her fate. Whatever they had decided she wanted to spend time with Lothar. They had two months left and she would not be made to go back on a promise. When Lothar had won their chess game, he had earned the two months they had left.
My great-grandmother is quick to discuss how dishonored our family would be if Lothar was still with the baroness. It would cause more disgrace for me to go against my word, Gemma thought as she started to suffer from a headache.
Gemma rubbed at her temples and tried to make her way back to her sleeping quarters before she was summoned. Gemma sat at her writing desk and chose the nicest piece of writing paper she had. Gemma opened a small drawer that came out below the desk and took out an ink well. She filled it with care and dipped her quill in a few times, testing if it had sufficient ink to start writing with.
Dear Lothar
I have decided to send a note as I miss you terribly. Please do join me for tea as we discussed, however do try to be here as early as possible as there is a family member I would much like you to meet.
Yours Gemma
They are not going to condemn him before great-grandmother has the opportunity to meet him first. I am sure once she meets him, she will see things the way we all do. Gemma thought as she folded the letter with care to place a wax seal where it was open. Gemma walked to find Ashley discreetly.
She found her reading with a cup of tea.
“Good afternoon.” Gemma said softly as to not startle her.
“My Lady, good afternoon! How may I help?” Ashley said as she got up.
“I am terribly sorry to disturb you.” Gemma said and meant it.
“Not at all, My Lady.” Ashley replied with a fond smile. Gemma truly liked Ashley and thought that they may have been sisters in another time they got along so well. It was not just Ashley having the good manners to be friendly, she had many of the same interests such as art and reading.
“I wonder if you could give this to one of the groomsmen perhaps” Gemma asked, not sure who would be able to get a letter to its destination at almost sunset.
“Leave it to me, My Lady.” Ashley replied, seemingly sensing Gemma’s discomfort.
“Thank you,” Gemma said before leaving.
It is done. That letter should get Lothar’s attention and should let him know that I intend to give our last two months an effort from my side. Gemma thought as she went back through the gardens to the main house. Gemma paused for a moment when she noticed her great-grandmother walking towards her.
“A word.” Her great-grandmother said and waited for Gemma to come closer. She then turned on her heels and headed into the house
Gemma knew it was best to follow her. Gemma felt sick with worry and hardly understood why she felt that way.
Why do I worry about something I do not want. Being a wife is a big responsibility, being a mother even more so. It is not a decision that should be taken as lightly as many people do. Gemma thought as she waited for her great-grandmother to be seated. Gemma took a seat close enough to hear her speak but that put a little distance between them. The woman did not exude an air of tenderness.
“I believe your father has blessed this courtship?” Her great-grandmother asked.
“That is right, great-grandmother.” Gemma replied.
“He was rather adamant that this courtship run its course. I of course do agree with the sentiment, though I feel it should not be with him.” Her great-grandmother said and rushed the servant who had just arrived with a tea tray.
“I beg that you meet him, great-grandmother. Make your decision after spending time with him.” Gemma pleaded.
“So you wish that I forgot what I heard for a fact in hoping that I find his company pleasant, am I correct?” Her great-grandmother asked and narrowed her eyes.
“No, great-grandmother. I know of this, and Lothar assures me that he does not feel anything but friendship for her.” Gemma said and had no idea what to do with her hands. They felt clammy and her great-grandmother made Gemma feel more on edge than usual.
“I will honor your father’s wishes for now and give him a chance, for now.”