Chapter 13

Chapter 13

While Gemma might have expected Lothar to find her, she had definitely not expected him to take responsibility for how he had disregarded her wishes. She had most certainly not expected him to kiss her and to tell her that as his wife she would be allowed to be who she wanted to be.

It seems too good to be the truth. Things are rarely ever this simple, Gemma thought as she tried to get ready for dinner. Today had been one of the most remarkable days she had experienced. Not the least of it being that she now saw Lothar in a different light. His words felt as though they were from the heart. She was afraid he was still not able to care for her like he did the baroness.

Any person with eyes could see how much he still cared for her.

If I am to marry someone. It will most certainly not be as second best. It does not matter that he claims it is not so, I am no second best! Gemma thought as she tried to focus still on getting Lothar to not want to marry her. It had now gone from a simple idea to her purpose in life.

All she had to do was to deny him the opportunity to court her further. If he then went against her wishes once again then she would have little choice but to tell her father about what she had witnessed and how she truly felt on the matter.

He had seemed more open and honest. Instead of pretending he had not accompanied the baroness, he had opted to explain why he had done so. Would he truly allow her the freedom she craved? If his sister had duties then surely as his wife, there would be expectations as well. Gemma’s thoughts whirled in her head.

“My Lady?” Ashley’s voice broke into her thoughts and brought Gemma back to the present.

“Good evening, Ashley,” Gemma said with a welcoming smile.

“My Lady, pardon the interruption. His Grace wishes to know if you are free. He would like to go on a walk, My Lady,” Ashley explained.

The man really is the most impatient…

“Thank you, Ashley. You may tell him I’m free but for the shortest time,” Gemma said, and closed her eyes in annoyance.

Why did I say yes? He has not even given me the time to think about all of this. Gemma thought as she freshened up despite her temper already on the rise.

Gemma marched out to tell Lothar how annoyed she was when she stopped in her tracks. Gemma blinked at the sight before her. From where Lothar’s carriage stood there were wildflowers. Gemma could not help but chuckle at how creative Lothar had been. As a creative person herself, she found the old spark she had thought she had felt when they’d met, return with interest. Lothar offered his hand, and she took it. His hands felt hardened. Being from a family who worked hard, she found it appealing.

The picked flowers were laid in a row that Lothar led her on until they came to a clearing on their family grounds. There, to her complete surprise were her family. They stood waiting at a table that had been brought out. The trees nearby blocked the slight chilly breeze and the fire that was tended with logs by servants, roared into the night sky.

Lothar noticed she seemed cold. My Lady, please, take my coat,” Lothar said as he slipped his coat from his broad shoulders and put it around hers. She immediately felt heat travel from the coat into her back and shoulders. She could smell a faint scent of sandalwood.

The combined heat and the scent of him drew her mind back to the brief kiss they had shared earlier. It had not been on the lips, it had however been in public. A declaration for all to see that they were a couple. The heat that had pooled under the coat made its way to her cheeks. Gemma looked away.

Her family smiled and looked at each other knowingly. The table had been set close to the house in order to allow her mother to walk the distance. Once Gemma had been seated, The meal was brought in. The main course of roasted pheasant with vegetables was Gemma’s favorite meal. Though she looked forward to it, she could not help feeling as though she were being placated.

“When His Grace came to see me this afternoon, I thought his idea of a family dinner was charming,” her father said before he began to eat. Her mother smiled at her and Lothar but did not speak.

That afternoon, right after they had spoken in town? The man does move quickly. He must have left just after I had, Gemma thought as she attempted to eat.

“I did not want to cause any inconvenience,” Lothar said as he moved his chair closer to the table. “I wanted to spend the evening with you, My Lady, and did not want to disrupt your family time,” Lothar said before he cut into his meat and placed a small bite onto his fork.

“This is lovely,” Gemma said, and meant it. She enjoyed spending time with her family even though they lived together and saw each other every day. This way of dining also made spending time with Lothar less intimate.

If only he was not seated so closely that his leg touched hers even so slightly. It was not more than the lightest of touches yet seemed to stoke a fire inside her more and more as the evening progressed.

Lothar seemed calm and relaxed and so did her family. It made her happy that they enjoyed having Lothar with them.

Perhaps there was hope that it could work between us. Gemma thought as she ate and joined in conversation that started from time to time as they ate. If Gemma had not known better, she would have sworn they had known the man for years!

Her family excused themselves from the table one by one until Gemma looked to Lothar after bidding her mother a good night. It was only she and Lothar who remained.

I am nothing like the baroness he preferred. She is closer to what most of society considered to be worthy of being called beautiful or even acceptable. I on the other hand am the opposite of her. It is no small wonder why he spent years pining for her. She had the tiniest waist and was nearly half as tall as I am. What she also has is Lothar. Words are easy to offer. Actions tell me the real story, Gemma thought as she took a deep breath.

“Your Grace, thank you for this evening, it was a thoughtful gesture,” Gemma said, as she could at the very least be well-mannered in return for his efforts.

“My Lady, it pleases me greatly that you have enjoyed having me at your home,” Lothar replied. Gemma looked up from her plate to see that Lothar had a tiny smudge of gravy on his cheek.

He looked comical and Gemma could not help chuckling. Lothar frowned.

“Your Grace, you have a little something here,” Gemma said, as she indicated where it was on his face by demonstrating on hers. Lothar put his hand in his pocket to retrieve a handkerchief. He dabbed at his face yet missed it. Gemma came closer to help him.

“Your Grace, you shall be at it all evening, allow me,” Gemma said, as she took his handkerchief from him and gently removed the offending gravy. Gemma looked at him with a triumphant smile that faded when she noticed the fire in his eyes. Lothar’s hand moved towards her. He stood up from his seat and turned to her as his thumb traced a line on her cheek in exactly the same spot she had touched on his face.

Gemma felt as though it was impossible to move, let alone get her lungs to take air into them. Lothar’s thumb moved to trace a fiery line from her cheek to her jaw before she felt his warm hand gently cup her face.

Gemma looked up into his warm, brown eyes. Then he moved away and offered his hand. Gemma took his hand yet found herself disappointed. It had seemed as though he had wanted to kiss her and then had changed his mind.

If he did not even want to kiss me then how does he expect this marriage would work? Gemma thought as they walked at a relaxed pace. Gemma wondered if he would fit into her life at all. Even if he would be at ease with her being a woman with a career, it did not mean she would fit in elsewhere. The children would be a good test.

Not only do they judge character well. I will see clearly how he feels about children. Gemma thought as they enjoyed the peace of the garden.

Gemma had been meaning to visit with the children and to bring them up to the main house to visit with her mother. It would be just the right occasion for Lothar to see if they were as compatible with each other as he thought they were.

“How is your writing going, My Lady,” Lothar asked.

“Very well thank you, Your Grace,” Gemma replied. They had spoken to each other less on this walk than when he had come for tea. This time it was not as awkward as it had been then. Gemma knew that he asked to be polite. It did not diminish the fact that it felt good to speak about the things she was passionate about.

“I have actually read your short stories for a while now. I did not take note of the author until I met her,” Lothar said making light of his naivety.

“Since you seem to still read them, Your Grace, am I to understand you find them not entirely dreadful?” Gemma asked finding herself genuinely interested in his opinion of her work.

“Completely the opposite, My Lady. I find your work to be engaging, and one might even say addictive,” Lothar replied.

“Addictive, Your Grace?”

“Yes, My Lady. I find myself impatient to read the next installment every week. In fact please forgive for saying so, My Lady. I also find your presence quite addictive.”

“That is most kind of you to say, Your Grace,” Gemma said, and allowed herself to smile.

“You are very talented, My Lady. And please know that I would never stand in the way of your happiness. I do understand I have seemed to disregard your wishes. I assure you, My Lady. I shall not make that mistake again. Is there a chance you might find it in your heart to forgive me?” Lothar asked.

Gemma’s heart jumped in response.

“I am glad to hear that, Your Grace. How do you feel about children?” Gemma asked as a way to see how he may feel about joining her in a visit with the children and her mother. It dawned on her as she finished her sentence, that she may have asked a deeper question than she had intended to.

“I rather enjoy how children see the world and it is only natural that we should have children, My Lady,” Lothar replied. It gave her hope even if she had seen that most men did not have the knack to be able to communicate with children and thought that it could be interesting to see if Lothar were any different.

Do not get your hopes up! Gemma reminded herself. He has a lot to show before I change my mind, if at all.

“Would you care to join me tomorrow, Your Grace? We have a few children living on our land. I planned to bring them to visit my mother as she has trouble walking,” Gemma asked.

“It is why I thought dinner outside would be an outing of sorts, My Lady. It was the first concern your father had,” Lothar said. “I would be honored to join you and the children.”

Gemma smiled as they found themselves at the main house. Lothar bid her good evening and was on his way home. Gemma felt excited that he had so quickly agreed to see her tomorrow. It would be good for the children to meet someone new and a duke no less. It would be an opportunity to introduce them to titles and why they are used.

Lothar had been considerate and charming. Their visit had not seemed forced, and he fit in quite well with her family. They spoke easily to one another and shared interests. Her father had seemed to be a little bothered though, Gemma noticed. She wondered what that could mean. Was he upset even though Lothar had come to him with his plans?

I will have to speak with father, in case there is something troubling him. Could it be something to do with Lothar? No, surely he would not have dined with the man if he had issue with him. Unless something had happened during dinner.

Gemma went to find her father. He was making a fire in the fireplace. The servants knew not to bother helping with the task. It was one if her father’s mist favorite activities. He had told her countless times of how he and his family had sat by the fire and told stories. Gemma smiled hoping there were still a few stories she had not heard before.

Gemma went to her mother to embrace her before sitting on a wooden bench her father had built. Her mother had a rocking chair that she liked to sit in. Her father had made it the day the doctor had said that her knees were only going to get worse.

“Is there something on your mind, father?” Gemma asked.

“Why do you ask, do I seem distracted?” Her father replied with a question. It meant there was emotions involved. Her father was not fond of feelings or speaking of them, despite how warm and caring of a father he was.

“I thought so at dinner tonight,” Gemma said gently.

Her father looked to the ground for a moment and then took a deep breath. Gemma took note of the way his shoulders lifted and then fell again. When he looked up at her, she was taken aback to see tears threatening to fall.

It broke her heart in pieces to see her father this emotional.

“Father?” Gemma asked.