Chapter 7

Seven

KOHL

I have spent enough time watching over Shay in her everyday goings-on to know that tonight can be considered a date. A mortal being would have brought flowers. To do so would have required I become corporeal and visit the town’s floral shop. Based on the residents’ reactions earlier, I forwent the idea. Even if the shop’s attendant wasn’t frightened by the appearance of a reaper, this realm functions with the exchange of currency. Reapers do not possess money. Nor any other material thing.

Assuming physical form outside Shay’s front door, I rap lightly on the wood, glancing toward her neighbor’s home while I await a response.

Tonight, nobody watches from the house next door. Briefly closing my eyes and listening to the nearby souls confirms that my presence has gone unnoticed this evening. Everything around us is calm.

The door swings inward and instantly, everything about me is the opposite of calm. Shay’s smooth brown skin shines in the soft light spilling from her living room. Dark hair flows over her shoulders in curly waves. The long-sleeved sweater she wears accentuates her full breasts, and even with the high turtleneck that grazes her chin, covering every possible inch of skin, she brings my cock to a full stand within seconds. I don’t possess a real heart, but I swear I feel one racing in my chest.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” I say, when my senses return.

“You’re handsome, too. What I can see of you.” Her eyes open wide as the words leave her mouth. “I didn’t mean that to come out as a complaint. I’m not being snarky, not this time, not anymore, with you. You’re a reaper and I accept everything that goes along with that, including the cloak and hood and only being able to see part of your face. It’s enough. And I like what I can see.”

Without hesitation, I raise my hands and guide the hood back, letting it pool behind my head.

The sharp intake of her breath precedes her outstretched hand. Gloved in leather, she could touch me without direct skin contact, yet she stops short of my face, then drops her hand to her side. “You look exactly how I imagined.” Her gaze travels over my features before meeting my eyes again. “Every hair on your head, your cheekbones, eye color, skin tone, the shape of your lips. How is that possible?”

“As I said before, reapers appear in whatever form is familiar and comforting to the soul before them. When your neighbor looked at me, she saw an entirely different being from the human man in front of you. When I met Minerva Goodwin to guide her soul to the next place, she saw me as something else. Only you see me as I am now.”

“Well, your reaper mojo needs a tune-up, because this,” she motions at my newly revealed features, “is not the face of familiarity and comfort . If my death reaper is supposed to be familiar and comforting, then you should either appear as a wizened old Black lady like all the older witches in my coven, or maybe look like my high-school Latin teacher, who was a mid-fifties white man with a soft face, a side part, and a pair of wire-framed glasses.”

“I have no control over my appearance. I appear how you want me to look.”

“Oh, I never said I didn’t want you to look the way you do. I’m saying you’re definitely not the picture of ‘familiarity and comfort.’” Making air quotes for the last part, she raises an eyebrow. Smiles in a way that would make my pulse race, if I had one. “Do you ever look in a mirror when you’re in the mortal realm?”

“No, I have not.”

“So…you don’t know what you look like? Ever?”

“Aside from parts which are visible from my physical form’s eyes, no.”

She makes one of her head-exploding gestures and its sound effects, then steps aside and waves for me to enter. “Let’s get your hot self in front of a mirror.”

“I’m neither hot nor cold while in physical form.”

Her brief, blurted laugh is as musical to my ears as her soul. “It’s not a literal thing; it’s a phrase. It means very attractive or sexy. In your case, both.” With a nod indicating I should follow, she leads me to a room I haven’t seen—her bedroom.

The moment we cross the threshold, my attention shifts to the bed. The place where Shay sleeps. Where she pleasures herself.

“Kohl?” Her voice pulls my focus to where she waits, a few feet away, looking over her shoulder at me from in front of a freestanding, full-length mirror. Lips I long to touch and taste curve into a playful smile. “Need a moment to critique my decor?”

Closing the gap between us, I stand behind her, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “I need every possible moment with you, but in this one, I have a confession that may change your decision to share future moments with me.”

Reflected in the glass, her eyes remain locked with mine. “I don’t think you’re capable of any action that would make me feel that way.”

We shall soon find out. “When I told you I have never watched you inside your house, that was the truth, but only in the literal sense. I have never watched you from inside your home. I always remained outside its walls. I never peered through your windows, but some evenings, summer nights when the glass was raised, I lingered in the area beyond, listening to your voice as you spoke to your cat or with your mother on a call, while you sang along to music. And sometimes…” Though I know it is impossible, my throat seems to tighten, as if to prevent the damning words from escaping. “Sometimes, I heard you finding pleasure.”

“I see. And when you realized what you were hearing, did you poof away?” she asks, her tone steady.

“No, I did not.”

“How did it make you feel, listening to those private moments while I made myself come?” One dark eyebrow rises to a distinct peak. “And just in case you’re not familiar with that phrase, either, ‘made myself come’ means having an orgasm, which is a form of sexual satisfaction.”

Beneath my cloak, my cock is the hardest it has ever been, craving the sensation she describes. “I experienced guilt for invading your privacy, but I will not lie, I was aroused. As for the subsequent times I listened… guilt was not enough to make me turn away. I was entranced by the sounds you made. I yearned to hear them.”

“Guilt, arousal, and yearning. Lots of big feelings for a reaper who’s not supposed to experience emotions.”

“You changed me. From the first night, Shay.”

“If you could, would you go back to the way you were before the night we met?”

“I would not undo the feelings I have for you if my very existence depended on it.”

Still holding my gaze in the mirror, she shifts backward, pressing her body to mine. “Then what are we going to do about this attraction, this overwhelming desire we both feel, without touching each other?”

“It is only our skin that cannot touch, correct?” I say, enclosing her in my arms, taking care not to let my face graze hers, despite my urge to press my nose against her hair, her temple, her neck. I slide one hand over the front of her jeans, cupping between her legs and pressing my fingers there, eliciting a throaty gasp. “Does that sound mean this contact is too much?”

“It’s not too much,” a feminine yet husky snort leaves her lips, “it’s not enough.”

“I would happily spend eternity slowly learning your body, but there is a faster way for me to bring you pleasure.”

“With my vibrator?” She smiles when a full laugh bursts from me. “I guess you know what that is, huh, spymaster? I’m not even mad. Not when you laugh like that, especially while I can see your whole face.”

A declaration of love demands release, but I don’t allow the words to pass through my lips. She knows my feelings, and to repeat them when she hasn’t returned them could diminish her glow. “Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.” Her eyes widen as my consciousness meets hers. “I feel you in there, poking around in my s—” Her intake of breath cuts off the rest of her words, her eyelids fluttering as I increase the pressure between her legs, rolling my fingers side to side. “You’ve never touched anyone; how do you know what to do to make it feel so good?”

“From you. Our connection.” It’s how I know to scoop her into my arms and carry her to the bed because she wants more pressure than I could give while standing. It’s why she doesn’t startle at the gesture or question me when I lie on my back and motion her to straddle me. Her desires and limits, her hesitation because of those things—I feel them all. “Closer, Shay. Take your pleasure. There is nothing I want more than to bring you happiness in any way possible.”

“Even though it’ll be one-sided?”

“I assure you, it will not be.” Positioning my hands on her hips, I guide her lower, until her fully clothed core nestles tightly to the ridge of my hard length beneath the cloak. “The pleasure I feel having you like this is more than I ever expected. Take from me and give me what I have craved to witness.”

Gaze locked with mine, she places her gloved palms on my chest. Then she moves. Slowly at first, rocking forward and back. The speed and pressure increase with each pass, until the motions are hard and jerky, with breathing to match.

Beneath her, an innate response raises my hips to meet her warm, soft body. My cock aches, but not with pain. With the need to be inside her. Something I have never known, should not want, but gods above, I hunger to strip away the layers separating us and root myself in her heat.

Face dewy and glowing, she moans my name. “Kohl… I’m going to—oh, goddess, yes…” Then her mouth forms a perfect O, her eyes close, and the most divine sounds of pleasure fill the air.

I hold myself rigid for her, committing every sight and sound to memory for eternity. Only when her posture softens and she smiles down at me, catching her breath, do I allow my muscles to relax. “You are more beautiful than all the heavens combined. Thank you for giving me your pleasure.”

“But you didn’t…you know,” her head tilts adorably to one side, “get yours?”

“My physical form is real, but not truly mortal. I grow hard for you—easily and often—but I have never experienced completion the way a human male does.”

“You have blue balls literally forever?” A pained hiss leaves her mouth as her lovely features scrunch together. “Pretty sure a lot of guys would consider that being in hell.”

“Having the chance to feel this way with you is the opposite of hell. If the moment we shared were the last of my existence, I would leave happier than I ever imagined possible.”

“How did a closed-off, resentful seer end up with the most romantic and eloquent being in all the realms?”

“Fate.” The answer leaves my mouth with thought; the truth of it clear now.

“I think so too,” she says, reaching and pressing one gloved hand against my cheek. “I wish I could really touch you. Kiss you.” She trails a leather-clad finger over my lips, the softness in her eyes turning to a sparkle as she winks. “And definitely make better use of your permanent hard-on situation.”

Before I can respond, she climbs off of me, and I instantly miss the weight of her body on top of mine. My physical form is temporary, but my ever-evolving and deepening emotions feel more permanent than time itself.

Her eyes track my every movement as I rise and straighten my cloak, her smile diminishing when I raise the hood. “You can’t leave it down?”

“Not while we travel. Though, I won’t object if you prefer to stay here and enjoy more pleasure with me.”

Again, her laughter lightens the room. “Tempting as that is, I already feel guilty for maxing out the enjoyment when you couldn’t.” Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she steps closer, placing her hand over the place where my heart would be, if I had one. “Thank you for coming back into my life. No matter how long it lasts, or how nontraditional it is, I want to be with you.”

“Only the Oracle can come between us, and I think the opposite has been fate’s plan all along.” The flowing sleeves of my cloak fall like rolling waves of black as I open my arms and enclose Shay within a careful embrace. “Would you like to know where I’m taking you this evening?”

Chin pressed against my chest, she shakes her head while looking up at me. “I’m kind of digging your surprises. I’ve lived with my guard perpetually up for so long, but I don’t have to do that with you. I know that no matter what, you’ll keep me safe. Being able to trust someone completely is a luxury I didn’t think I’d ever have again.”

The urge to reveal our destination is almost too great to resist. Instead, I smile, calling upon my magic.

Even knowing what is to come, she shrieks as the physical world disappears from beneath her boots. Clinging tightly to me, she fills the blink of time with a shrieked, “Shit!” followed by, “Maybe we should’ve stayed home,” as she regains her footing on solid earthly ground.

“I think you will find this worthy of the momentary disorientation,” I say, opening my arms so she can step out of my embrace.

The air rushes out of her in a hiccupping sob, and she covers her mouth while looking around the backyard of the place she once called home. “Kohl, is this real?” she says, her hand moving to cover her heart. “It’s been so long since I was here… Are we actually in Gettysburg, at my mom’s house?”

Her question is answered when the other person she trusts completely steps out the back door of the small story-and-a-half building. “Shay?”

“Mom!” Shay runs into the woman’s arms, hugging her without concern for skin contact. “Mom.”

“My baby,” her mother says, rocking Shay as they both sob and laugh. “Why are you in the backyard? How did you get here? Is it safe?”

Wiping her cheeks, Shay disentangles from her mother’s arms and scans the surrounding area, her bunched eyebrows relaxing when I make myself corporeal again. “Kohl brought me, using his reaper magic.”

Her mother stiffens at the sight of me. “Is this a goodbye visit?”

“No, Mom, no. I’m very much alive. More alive than I’ve been in fifteen years. Maybe ever.” She squeezes her mother’s hand while holding eye contact with me, talking to me as much as to her mother. “Kohl is off duty; he’s not here as a reaper, he’s here as—” Her lips curve into a beautiful smile. “As my friend. My special friend?” Making a sour face, she shakes her head. “Goddess, what am I, twelve? Kohl is both of those things, and more. He’s my boyfriend. One who gives the best surprises in all the realms.”

My consciousness—or as Shay insists, my soul—swells until it feels as if it might exceed the boundaries of my physical form. Boyfriend. A term used as a sign of commitment, affection, and intimacy. To hear Shay claim me as such in the presence of the person she loves most is more than expected, more than I dared to hope.

For a long moment, her mother is silent. Green eyes that could be a matched set with Shay’s stare at me. Into me.

I welcome the probing, opening my consciousness to the witch who gave life to the one I love.

The woman’s eyes sparkle as our magics meet. As she sees the truth of my intentions and depth of devotion to her only child. Then her magic retreats, and she thanks me with a single nod. “You are much more than Shay’s boyfriend. You’re her eternal protector. Her soulmate.”

“Mom.”

“Hush, girl,” she says, raising a hand in a casual way, though the gesture clearly holds authority, both motherly and in coven hierarchy. “It doesn’t take a seer to see this reaper’s future.” At Shay’s tight-lipped silence, the woman turns, her dark eyebrows high on her forehead when she meets her daughter’s gaze. “You haven’t looked.” Her expression softens when Shay shakes her head. “Oh, child. Love is the ultimate reward for risking your heart and soul. This reaper has taken that risk for you.”

No better endorsement exists than her mother’s approval. But theirs is not a conversation for my ears. I move toward Shay, giving her my full attention, and also reaching inside, touching her soul, for the sole purpose of bringing something other than melancholy to her beautiful face.

Her gaze narrows. Without saying a word, I know what she is thinking: I feel you poking around in there.

I give her a wink. A new gesture for me, it causes her eyebrows to rise and a small smile to bud. “I will take my leave to give you time alone with your mother. The Oracle’s magic does not protect you here, but mine will. I won’t allow harm to reach you. You have only to call for me, inside, and I will appear.”

From her position several feet away, Shay’s mother incants a spell encapsulating her daughter within a small mobile boundary. “As long as Shay is near me, no creature, mortal or otherwise, will know she’s here. I’ll keep her safe while you’re away.” With another nod, she makes her way inside the house.

“Lucky me, having two guardian angels,” Shay says. “Hey, I know I took liberties there, calling you my boyfriend.”

“Take all that you desire. I am yours in every way.”

Glassy-eyed, she swallows hard, nodding while walking backward. “Thank you for bringing me here. I’ll see you soon.”