Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

A s Ash returned to his quarters after closing up his club, excitement hummed in his veins. Would Gwen be there waiting for him? His heart begged for her to be. When he opened the door, she was there, sitting at his piano. No tears this time, only a smile to welcome him home. With her here, it felt more like home than it ever had before. She didn’t move from the bench as he closed the door.

“Will you play for me?”

“Perhaps,” he said as he sauntered toward her. Of course he would, if he could manage to keep his hands off her and on the keys. The piano was his first love, after all. It had helped him to escape the hell he’d grown up in, and he was glad Gwen enjoyed it, as well. “For a kiss.”

He was removing his coat as Fogg walked in from the hall.

“I’ll just—” He pointed back down the hallway toward his own room.

“You can take my coat first, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course,” he said nervously. He walked over and Ash handed over his coat.

“And you might as well take these too.” Ash unbuttoned his waistcoat and removed his tie. It was a bit ridiculous to pretend like they weren't going to be coming off soon anyway.

Fogg nodded and accepted the garments. “I’m sorry, Ash. I’m not entirely sure how all of this is supposed to work.” He gestured between the three of them.

Ash placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “It’s new for all of us, Fogg. We’ll learn together. There are sure to be some awkward moments along the way, but we’ll get there.”

That seemed to make him feel a little more at ease. “Would you like a glass of brandy before I make myself scarce?”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

He placed his cane on top of the piano and sat down on the bench beside Gwen. He leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Perhaps we should wait on the kiss until Fogg is finished.” Her answering giggle warmed his soul.

“Somehow, I’ve never seen the inside of your coats before.” She raised a brow. “Purple?”

He shrugged. “My tailor insists that having a bit of color in my life will make me a happier man, so I allow him to line some of my coats in purple. Don’t tell anybody else. It might ruin my fearsome reputation.” He winked and delighted in her laugh.

Fogg delivered his glass of brandy, placing it on top of the piano. “If you need anything else, you know where to find me.”

Ash nodded and Fogg left to return to his room. “Now, where were we?” He wrapped a hand around the back of Gwen’s head and pulled her in. Her lips were soft and sweet as he kissed her, and even though he kept it brief, his passions were instantly ignited. If he really was going to play for her, he had to stop before he couldn’t, or wouldn’t. Slowly, he pulled his lips from hers and turned to face the piano. At least his fingers knew what to do, even if his mind was preoccupied.

As always, he allowed his heart to flow into the magnificent instrument. His melody started gentle and sweet, a nod to his feelings for Gwen. But as his thoughts turned more passionate, so too did the notes. As a crescendo swelled, his hands landing with more fervor, the chords stronger, the notes resonating through the room, the tempo of her breathing surged as well. Her desire was growing, just as his own.

He slowed his pace, calming his zeal. As desperate as he was to make love to her, he’d really enjoy spending some time with her outside the bedroom first. He brought his song full circle, repeating the first few bars, before slowly bringing it to a peaceful end.

Tears shimmered in Gwen’s eyes as he looked over at her. “That was beautiful. I love listening to you play.”

He leaned against her shoulder and lowered his head to rest on top of hers. “I love that you love it,” he said softly.

“When I sat on the stairs, your melodies always told me how you felt. They made me feel like I had a connection with you in some way.”

“Well, you’ll never have to sit out there to listen again. I’ll play for you anytime you want.” A part of him delighted in her open admiration of him.

“Is there anything you can teach me to play?” Her eyes were bright and hopeful.

“Of course.” He held her hands gently and showed her where to place her fingers. He taught her a series of chords that she could repeat. Her joyous laugh floated around him every time she made a mistake. Watching her determined attempts and her elated smile when she got it right had him thoroughly enraptured.

Once she was confident with it, he began to improvise a melody to go along with her. Her gleefulness was intoxicating and his laugh echoed hers. It was exhilarating and intimate all at once. He never could have imagined it possible to feel so much love for a person. Especially a woman, as strange as that seemed. He’d always kept himself apart from them, in a way, but with Gwen, it had been impossible from the start. He never should have sent her away that first time.

Guilt slithered in, settling in his stomach, tarnishing this beautiful moment. He stopped playing and straddled the bench, pulling her snuggly into his arms. “I’m sorry, Gwen. I never should have sent you away. I sent you right into that monster’s arms, and I am so regretful of it.”

She allowed him to hold her without pulling away. “Where has this come from, Ash?”

“I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

She sat back then, and looked into his eyes. “You can love me without feeling guilty, you know. First of all, you didn’t send me away. I took a position, in a good household, mind you. And second, none of this would have ever happened between us if I had stayed here. I always would have been just one of the many ladies you’ve saved.”

He scoffed and lifted her chin gently. “You were never just one of many, Gwen. You were always special, from the moment I grabbed your wrist when you tried to run off with my watch. I had never been tempted by any of the ladies I’d brought here before. It had always been easy to set myself apart, but not with you.” He pressed a soft kiss against her lips. “I always wanted you in ways that were inappropriate.”

“I didn’t help any with that. I wanted you too, and flirted endlessly with you. You were always telling me off for it.” She giggled. “But that’s why I needed to go. This never would have happened between us under those circumstances. You never would have allowed it, no matter how tempted you were.”

He nodded slowly. She was right, of course. Not that it eased his conscience any.

“And if I hadn’t ended up with Greg, I would never have found myself in your cabin, just waiting to be rescued by you once again.”

“Well, thank God for that, at least.” He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Will you tell me what happened with him?” she asked quietly.

“He and his wife have apparently gone to the continent.”

“As interesting as that is, it wasn’t really what I was asking.”

He knew what she was asking, of course. She wanted to know what Ash had done to him. “Are you sure you want to know?”

She nodded against his chest. Perhaps it would make it a little easier if he didn’t have to look her in the eye, but he would still spare her the gory details if he could. Not that he would change any of it. He would always protect the people he cared about, no matter what he had to do. He harbored no guilt or shame for his actions in that regard.

“You understand that I had to punish him, right? Not only because he hurt you, but to make sure he didn’t just run off and do the same thing to another woman.”

She sat up and cupped her hand around his cheek. Her fingers were cool and her touch so tender. Her smile not one of pity or disgust, but one of pride. “My wonderful Ash. Saving women who you don’t even know from a monster who never should have been your responsibility.”

He shook his head with a sigh. “You make me sound like a savior, Gwen. That, I am not. I took far too much pleasure in bringing that man pain to ever actually be that.”

“You still haven’t told me what you did.”

So much for being able to say it without looking into her eyes. There they were, looking straight into his soul, waiting for his confession.

“I flogged him,” he said with a shrug. “My men found a leather strap, hanging from a bookshelf, in the study of the house you lived in.” Her eyes grew wide and she breathed in a shaky breath. His jaw clenched at the confirmation that it had been used on her. And then she ducked her head.

“So they know? Your men know that I was punished by him?”

She was embarrassed. “Gwen, look at me.” She hesitated a moment, but did eventually raise her eyes to his. “This is not your shame to bear.”

She gasped and her hand shot to her mouth. “Fogg knows. He knows everything, doesn’t he?” Her cheeks flamed red.

Ash took hold of her hands. He wasn’t going to lie. She needed to understand that Fogg was someone she could trust. “Yes. He was the one who gave me the strap. Gwen, I know you don’t know him very well, but Fogg is a good man. Perhaps not in the traditional sense, but he’s loyal to me, and therefore to you. He’s a good man to have on your side. You have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed.”

She buried her face in her palms. “But I was such a badly behaved wife that my husband had to punish me. Repeatedly. It’s embarrassing that people know that.”

“No, that isn’t what happened, Gwen,” Ash said firmly. He pulled her hands away and waited for her to look up at him. “Setting aside the fact that he never was your husband, you did not do anything to earn the beatings that he inflicted upon you. He abused you. Do you understand?”

Her brow was furrowed. She was struggling to accept what he was saying. It broke his heart that she actually blamed herself for any of it.

“Did I deserve the beatings my father gave me?”

“Of course you didn’t!” Ash simply raised a brow and watched as, slowly, understanding and acceptance settled over her features. She nodded and leaned back into his embrace. “How many strokes did you give him?”

He rubbed his hand in slow circles over her back. “I don’t know. I lost count,” he admitted.

“Good,” she said after a moment. “He promised me fifty strokes if I came back, so I hope it was a lot.”

“I’m sure it was at least that many.” He pressed a kiss against the top of her head.

“Ash?” She dragged her fingers slowly up his thigh and arousal burst into life inside him, once more. “Will you make love to me so we can forget about everything else?” She cupped her hand around the growing bulge in his trousers and his whole body jerked.

“Christ. You do know how to drive me mad with lust for you.” He claimed her mouth, his hand desperately seeking out her breast. He would never tire of having its softness in his palm. “Angel, I will make love to you anytime, anywhere, and I don’t need a reason. Now get those clothes off and get into bed,” he growled. With giggles floating back behind her, she ran on tiptoes into his bedroom, her robe dropping into a heap on the floor along the way.

It was hard to believe this was real. It was a life he never thought he could have. Ash downed the remainder of his brandy and grabbed his cane. He would be more than happy to bring her pleasure and make her forget everything else.

* * *

Ash sat at the head of a long table that had been set up inside The Raven’s Den, his wife at his side. He couldn’t stop smiling. Never could he have imagined this day. All of the most important people in his life sat around the table, celebrating his marriage. It wasn’t possible for his heart to be any fuller.

Gwen got to her feet, and Ash squeezed her hand on top of the table. “Are you alright, love?” She nodded, and began to speak over the din.

“I know it isn’t usual for the bride to give a speech.” She shrugged. “But nothing about any of this is usual.” Everyone around the table laughed and then quieted down to listen to her.

“I mostly want to acknowledge everyone here and thank you all for coming and for supporting and celebrating our union. I’ve never had a family before, at least not for a very long time, but you have all welcomed me with open arms.”

She was the most beautiful thing Ash had ever seen. Her skin glowed with happiness, her cheeks flushed from a combination of exhilaration and champagne.

“Daisy, you were the first one to welcome me back. You have been so sweet and kind, even when I was difficult to deal with.”

Daisy blew her a kiss and dabbed the corners of her eyes.

“And Rosie, you recognized my pain immediately, and without even knowing me, took me under your wing as if you were my sister.”

Rosie reached across the table for Gwen’s hand.

“And Patrick.”

Patrick looked surprised to be called on by name.

“I think you may have kept my crying a secret from”—Gwen leaned her head in Ash’s direction—“and for that I’m grateful.”

“What’s this?” Ash asked over the table. “Keeping secrets from me?”

“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” Patrick said, placing a hand over his chest with feigned exasperation. But then he leaned in and spoke quietly, cupping a hand around his mouth. “It was only fair since you didn’t tell him you’d caught me kissing my wife.” Everyone around the table laughed.

“Belle, thank you for helping me get the perfect gown, and Michael, thank you for keeping Ash occupied during my fittings so he wouldn’t see me in it before the wedding.”

“Why do I feel as if my partners have shifted their loyalty to my wife?”

Gwen continued to make her way around the table. “Trent. Thank you for always being kind, even when I didn’t really know who I was. Thank you for stepping up, allowing Ash to return to his home here. And thank you for permitting him to act as uncle to your adorable sister. I never thought I’d see the day that a sweet little girl would have him wrapped right around her finger.”

Ash shrugged and nodded. Gwen looked down at him with a disarming smile. She certainly had him wrapped around her finger.

“As for Sarah, thank you for putting up with me. I know I caused more than my share of problems in a very short period of time. And the same goes for the rest of you ladies. I hope you’ll forgive me, and I love you all.”

They all got up from their chairs and hurried around the table to crush her in a giant hug. Ash was nearly brought to tears by the love these people had shown his wife. He really was surrounded by the most incredible people.

“And last, but certainly not least, Fogg. I am aware that you have done far more for me than I will ever know, but in addition to that, thank you for so graciously welcoming me into your home. I know it hasn’t been easy.”

Fogg actually smiled. That was a rare treat, indeed, but he bestowed it upon his wife and gave her nod of appreciation.

The group of people around the table perfectly summed up the life Ash had built. Earls, sitting down and celebrating with his valet and the women who danced in his club. That was what he’d spent his life working for, and pride blossomed within him to see it.

“And then there’s Ash.” She turned to him, her eyes filled with so much love. “The most incredible, generous, kind, wonderful man I’ll ever meet. Somehow, I was lucky enough to have him rescue me… twice.”

Ash got to his feet. “She’s got it backwards. In truth, she was the one who rescued me. She saw my blackened heart and my tattered soul,”—he shrugged and let out a long sigh—“and somehow, she decided to love me anyway.”

“Well, perhaps we rescued each other, then.” She pressed a soft kiss against his lips.

She turned back to the table and raised her glass. “To all of you for becoming the family that I never even dreamt I could have.”

A cheer went up around the table as they all raised their glasses.

Patrick raised his glass again. “To the bride and groom! May they share a lifetime of happiness!”

“To the bride and groom!” the rest of them echoed around the table.

As Ash gazed into Gwen’s eyes, everything else seemed to fade away. His wife. It was hard to believe this could all be real.

“I love you,” she said, tears glistening in her eyes.

“And I love you, Angel.”

* * *

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