Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

A s Ash climbed down from his horse, the doorman hurried out to greet him.

“There’s a Simon Allister here to see you, boss. He’s waiting outside your office.”

“At this hour?”

The man shrugged awkwardly.

“Would you like me to let him know you’re unavailable right now?” Fogg asked.

Ash shook his head with a sigh. “No. I might as well get this over with. What I need you to do is go inside and find Gwen. I can’t have her making a scene right now. If it can be done discreetly, get her up to my chambers so I can talk to her when I’m finished. And I’m sure this goes without saying, but please don’t share any details with her.”

Fogg nodded, then he licked his thumb and rubbed it on Ash’s cheek.

Ash grimaced. “Did you just wipe saliva on me?”

Fogg shrugged. “I couldn’t very well send you in there with blood on your face, and I don’t happen to have a wash basin out here.”

Ash choked on a laugh. “Christ. Well, is there anymore?” He held his face in the light for Fogg’s inspection.

“There is, as it happens.” He wiped three more spots with his spit covered thumb.

“Jesus. How the mighty have fallen. The Earl of Ashdown out here being washed by his valet’s saliva and being demanded an audience with an uninvited guest before dawn has even broken.”

Fogg chuckled. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“For what it’s worth, Ash, he’s a good man.”

“Perhaps, but he has terrible timing. Go find Gwen. If she’s not just inside, check the stairs to my chambers. I’ll be up shortly.”

Ash gave Fogg a few minutes to deal with Gwen before he went inside. All of the other ladies were in bed, so the house was quiet.

“Mr. Allister.” He gave a nod as he approached the man standing beside his office door.

“Lord Ashdown.”

Ash shook his head sharply, a scowl settling over his face. He unlocked the door and waved the man inside before closing them in. He was tired and grumpy, and he didn’t want to deal with whatever this was right now.

“I don’t use my title here. It’s just Ash.” He settled himself behind his desk.

Allister nodded. “Apologies.”

“Do the intelligence services routinely call upon people before dawn?”

“Not routinely, no. But I had heard that this time of day might be a good time to catch you.”

“I have a lot on my plate at the moment, let’s just get right to it. Tell me what it is the intelligence services want from me, so I can tell you no, and you can be on your way.”

Allister didn’t respond immediately. His face was blank and completely unreadable, even for Ash.

“The truth is, it isn’t the intelligence services who want your help. It’s me.”

Ash sighed. He didn’t like being misled. “And you thought the best way to go about trying to gain my assistance was to lie to me?”

Ah, there it was. Finally, a tell Ash could read to know what the man was feeling. A deep breath and an involuntary tic beside his eye. He was nervous and wondering now if he’d made an error. He was good at hiding his emotions, but Ash was better at reading them.

“Perhaps it wasn’t the best decision, but I didn’t know if you’d see me otherwise.”

“And what help could I possibly offer you that your employer cannot?”

“My personal problems are not the concern of the intelligence services.”

Ash shrugged. “Well, I guess you’ve given your loyalty to the wrong people then. For the people who work for me, their problems are my problems.”

He nodded slowly. “Not all of us are so lucky.”

“I have something important to see to, Allister, so what is it you need help with?” Ash was getting impatient.

“I can’t afford to pay you, but I was hoping perhaps I could offer you my services in some way in exchange for your assistance with a delicate matter.”

“I have no interest in the services of someone who isn’t loyal only to me.”

Allister closed his eyes briefly. It was obviously something important to him, but Ash didn’t have time or patience for games tonight. Gwen was upstairs waiting for him.

“Very well,” Allister said after a moment, his jaw clenching tightly. He got to his feet and placed his hat atop his head. “Before I go, you should know, you have blood on your hands.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he said irritably. Was the man accusing him of something?

“It means, you have blood”—he looked down at the desk—“on your hands.”

Ash looked down, there were flecks of blood covering the back of his right hand that rested on top of the desk. Christ. He must have it all over him.

He sighed, weariness settling over him. “It’s been a long night.”

Allister nodded but didn’t say anything more.

“When you’re ready to offer me your loyalty, Allister, come back and we can talk.”

“I don’t really have that luxury. There are others I have to consider besides myself.” And with that, he left.

Ash shook his head. What a waste of time. He left his office and tracked down some water and a cloth. He cleaned the blood from his hands and wiped his face for good measure. He couldn’t very well strip down and wash his whole body, so it would have to do for now.

When Ash entered his chambers a few minutes later, Gwen sat on his piano bench, her arms wrapped tightly around one of his pillows. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her eyes were red and swollen. She dropped the pillow, scrambled off of the bench, and sprinted toward him.

“It’s alright, Gwen.” He grabbed her shoulders and held her away from him. “I’m sorry love, but I can’t hold you yet. I need to get cleaned up first. Can you give me just a few more minutes?” He hated his inability to comfort her immediately.

She nodded and sniffled, her breathing jerky.

“Shhh. Come and wait for me in my bedroom and I’ll be right back.”

Fogg was in there, his eyes wide with terror. Ash sent him out with a flick of his head. “Make yourself comfortable, Gwen. I’ll be back in just a few minutes, and I promise to hold you for as long as you need.”

Fogg stood just outside the door. Ash shooed him ahead to the dressing room. “What are you looking so terrified of?”

“There is nothing more frightening than a crying woman.”

Ash rolled his eyes. He dealt with crying women on a weekly basis. “Get me something to wash with.”

“I already have.”

Of course he had. “Then help me get these off. Apparently I’m covered in blood spatter. Allister brought it to my attention on my hands, and since it was on my face too, it must be all over my clothes, as well.”

“Thank God they’re all black, so I don’t have to try to get the stains out.” Ever the pragmatist. Once all of Ash’s clothes were off, Fogg gave his entire body a quick wipe to get rid of any blood, sweat, or dirt. When he was finished, Ash bent over and dunked his hair in the basin. He didn't want any of this grime anywhere near Gwen.

He rubbed his hair as dry as he could with a towel, along with the rest of him. Fogg gave his hair a quick comb, then held up his robe and he slipped his arms through the sleeves.

“Do you need anything else, Ash?”

“No, in fact, you might go and follow up and make sure everything was taken care of at the warehouse.”

He nodded. “I’ll be sure to stay away for a few hours.”

“Thank you, Fogg. I owe you for all of this.”

* * *

Gwen was curled up under Ash’s heavy blankets when he returned to his room, wrapped in a black velvet robe, his feet bare and his hair damp. She climbed out of the bed, desperate to be in his arms. He held her so tight she could barely breathe, and it was heavenly. He rocked her gently, placing kisses on the top of her head. Several minutes passed before he finally spoke.

“What do you want from me right now, Gwen?”

She looked up at him, afraid he would reject what she wanted. “I want to feel your skin against mine.”

He untied her sash and helped her to shrug out of her robe before pulling her nightgown over her head. Then he quickly removed his own robe and wrapped his arms back around her. His skin was warm against hers, but it didn’t help to thaw the ice that had settled inside her after he’d left.

“Why don’t we get under the blankets?” he suggested.

He climbed into the bed and pulled her back tightly against his chest, tucking the blanket snuggly around her.

“What has you so upset, Angel?”

Hearing him call her Angel should have comforted her, but instead, sobs broke over her again. She tried to talk through her crying, as best she could.

“It’s silly, really. I should just be happy you’re back.”

“It’s not silly. Tell me everything.”

It felt silly to her. She should be pleased. He’d said he loved her. She hadn’t expected him to say it back, and hearing it had shocked her. But what if it wasn’t real? She’d been fooled before. And even if it was real, what if he still sent her away? Sarah had said she’d have to be sent away.

“I think I’m just a little overwhelmed and more emotional than I should be probably.” He didn’t say anything, just held her close and waited for her to continue.

“I was worried about you.”

“I knew you would be, but you didn’t need to be.”

“Is he… Is he dead?”

She felt his head shake on top of hers. “No. He’s not. But I promise he’ll never be a threat to you again.”

She turned enough that she could see his face. “Because I asked you not to?”

He pressed a kiss against her temple. “Of course.”

He’d spared Greg, and spared his soul, for her. For some reason, it felt like a huge sacrifice. She turned and snuggled back against him. As she wiggled, she felt his manhood begin to come to life against her backside and her stomach fluttered.

He just ignored it. “What else are you upset about? With all those tears, I know there’s more than that.”

Part of her just wanted to forget it all and ask him to make love to her again instead. Obviously he wanted that. But she also needed answers.

“Sarah reprimanded me, as I deserved, but she knows about us, and I’m afraid she’ll make you send me away.” She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath as pain gripped her heart.

His soft lips pressed against her neck. “I know it doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but I am actually the person in charge here. I’m not going to send you away. I need you here with me.” His hand skimmed up her stomach to claim her breast. She moaned and felt him grow even more aroused against her bottom.

“But what does that mean? You need me here with you?” She was growing breathless as searing, openmouthed kisses moved languidly over her shoulder.

He stopped. “I don’t know yet.”

“Don’t stop, Ash.” She felt his lips turn up in a smile against her shoulder. His thumb brushed over her nipple making it pucker and sending a flash of desire straight to her core. She wiggled her bottom against him.

“I’m not going to be able to finish this conversation if you keep that up.”

“You started it,” she said teasingly.

“So I did.” He gently rolled her nipple, coaxing a moan from her. “Perhaps I should make love to you, and then we can finish our conversation.”

“What about your rules?”

His lips had moved up her neck and his tongue stopped just behind her ear. “No more rules. Not with you, Angel.”

Joy flooded her heart. “Then what are you waiting for?”

With a rumbling groan, he turned her onto her back and his lips descended. Any sadness or fear she’d felt was vanquished by the hunger of his kisses. His firm mouth demanded a response, which she eagerly gave. She opened for him and his tongue swept in to claim every recess of her mouth. Fiery desire rushed through her, finally chasing away the chill that had settled while he was gone.

She gasped with surprised pleasure as his fingers dipped suddenly between her legs. She was already wet and so ready for him and he hummed his appreciation against her mouth. He left her lips and looked into her eyes as he slid a finger inside of her. There was something incredibly intimate about him watching her reaction and it made her excitement soar.

“Yes. Just like that.” Her mind emptied of everything else as his thumb swirled against her sensitive nub, sending pleasure spiraling through her body. Her hips lurched, driving his finger even deeper.

“Jesus, Gwen. You make me lose all control. I need to be inside you.”

She nodded urgently and spread her legs wide for him. He settled himself between them, his mouth claiming hers for another passionate kiss. He nudged against her entrance. “May I?”

Gwen laughed impatiently. “Are you always going to ask permission?”

His smile was bordering on apologetic as he nodded. “Probably.”

How was it possible that a single word could make her love him even more? She lifted her head from the pillow to press a kiss to his lips. “Yes you may, my love.”

There was such tenderness in his eyes as he guided himself gently into her body. He rocked slowly in and out of her, his gaze locked on hers as if transfixed. Pleasure whirled through her body as he poured his soul into her.

Her nipples were aching desperately, so without even thinking, she reached between their bodies and grasped them between her fingers. The action, and especially the resulting bolt of pleasure, shocked her and she gasped.

“Christ,” he growled, his body jerking with his overwhelming need.

She’d never felt more powerful than she did in that moment. Slowly, she rolled her nipples between fingers and thumbs, making sure he had full view.

Ash was panting as his rhythmic thrusting accelerated. “You, my little minx, are going to send me right over the edge. Give me your fingers.” He opened his mouth and she tentatively held out her fingers. He sucked on her thumb and forefinger, wetting them both thoroughly.

“Now do it.” He motioned his chin toward her breast.

The wet fingers somehow made the sensations far more powerful. She groaned as pleasure rippled through her body. She held out her other fingers and he smiled before sucking them into his mouth. Rubbing wet fingers over both nipples simultaneously sent her spiraling toward that now familiar peak of ecstasy.

“Ash.” His name came out as a desperate plea. She wrapped her legs around him and urged him deeper into her body, needing as much of him as she could get.

Her thighs shook as her pleasure heightened, intense tendrils spreading to her nipples as a burgeoning need for release filled the rest of her body.

He dipped his head down and kissed her briefly. “I want to watch your face as you lose yourself to the pleasure.” His voice was deep and it trembled with his own need.

His declaration was the final nudge she needed and a maelstrom of sensation burst through her body. She tried to meet his eyes, but as a surge of pleasure overcame her, her body took command, and she lost all control. She threw back her head, screaming her release.

He roared a curse as his own climax came, his body tensing, sending his seed spilling deep inside her. Sweat glistened over his forehead as he smiled down at her, his breaths coming hard and fast.

“I meant what I said earlier, Angel.” His eyes met hers unwaveringly. “I love you.”

Tears welled in her eyes. How could she ever have doubted it? “I love you, Ash.”

He kissed her forehead tenderly before collapsing onto the bed and pulling her into his embrace, once more.

“Now we just have to figure out what to do with that.” He murmured the words softly and pressed a kiss to her hair. “But perhaps we can sleep for a few hours first. It’s been such a long night.”

“Just as long as you promise you won’t leave me to wake up alone.”

He gently placed his large hand possessively over her breast and pulled her more tightly against him. “I promise.”