Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

I t took Gwen a bit of wandering before she eventually found the library. Ash hadn’t exaggerated when he’d said it was grand. As she skimmed her hand over the spines of countless books, her mind seemed unable to focus enough to see what any of them even were. There were so many thoughts tumbling about in there. She could still see Ash’s hand disappearing under her nightgown and his tongue flicking her nipple through wet cotton fabric. Even now, the thoughts made warmth settle in her belly. How was it possible that his touch could make her feel so incredible?

He was so gentle and so kind and caring. It made it difficult to imagine him being violent with anyone, but he’d talked of killing Greg as if it were nothing. He said he’d dealt with worse than him, so he’d presumably killed before. It was such a conundrum, such a strange juxtaposition to have in one person. But perhaps it all actually came from the same place, a fierce need to keep those around him safe and protected. He certainly wasn’t prone to brutality or violent outbursts. He would never hurt any of the women in his care. He didn’t even raise his voice around them.

Her mind conjured his smile. There’d been so much compassion as he’d shown her that incredible pleasure. He’d been tender and gentle, his eyes constantly checking to make sure she was comfortable. She let out a long sigh. Her heart was in serious trouble. And yet, she knew without a doubt that she would go to him again tonight.

She forced herself to focus on the titles of the books before her and eventually saw one she recognized, Jane Eyre. She’d never actually read it, but she’d heard of it. She pulled it off the shelf and slowly made her way from the library. Her mind was still swirling, and it was unlikely she’d be able to concentrate enough to actually read, but she had to try.

When she reached the end of the wide corridor, where it led into the entrance hall, Ash was coming down the stairs. He leaned on his cane but had a smile on his lips that took her breath away. She stopped and just watched him.

* * *

Ash had barely made it to the bottom of the stairs when Maggie came running across the entrance hall toward him. “Uncle Ash!” she called, her curls bouncing, a smile beaming on her face.

He crouched down to greet her and she held up a doll. “Look what I got!”

“A doll? You lucky girl!”

She nodded animatedly and pointed at her own chest. “And I got this dress that’s the same as hers!”

“Wow! You must have been an awfully good girl to deserve something so special.”

“I was!” She hugged the doll to her chest and moved closer, holding out her free arm.

Ash didn’t have much experience with young children, but presumably that meant she wanted him to pick her up. He lifted her into his arms before settling one of them under her bottom. Only then did he see Gwen looking on from the hallway that led to the library. Ash smiled sheepishly at her and shrugged.

Trent stood in the drawing room doorway. “I’m sorry. She was too excited to wait for you.”

“Can you blame her? Her brother bought her a new dress, and a doll with a matching one.”

His lips turned up in a grateful smile. Ash summoned Gwen with a tilt of his head. She followed them into the room. He set Maggie back on her feet and moved to the tea tray. “Are you hungry, Poppet? There are some delicious looking cakes here.” He leaned down and spoke softly. “The lemon seed ones are my favorite.”

“Mine too!” She snatched one from the plate and took a bite. “Mmmm.”

He stood to make introductions. “Gwen, this is Trent, my half-brother.” Gwen did a good job of hiding her shock at the news, but he could tell she was bursting with questions. “Trent, this is Gwen, my employee.”

Ash saw a hint of guilt settle on Trent’s features. He was remembering his disparaging words from the night before, which was exactly what Ash had hoped for. He wanted Trent to see that the women who worked for him were respectable and deserved to be treated as such.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gwen.”

“Likewise,” Gwen replied.

“And this beautiful young lady is Maggie.” Maggie skipped over, her mouth full with another bite of cake.

Gwen crouched beside her. “That sure is a lovely dress.”

Maggie shimmied to make the fabric sway, a giggle bubbling up in her joy. How could her happiness bring him so much warmth? He couldn't have any actual nieces or nephews, and he certainly didn’t plan to have any children of his own, but this little girl was already so precious to him.

“Maggie,” Ash said, getting the girl’s attention. “Your brother and I have some business to take care of. How would you feel about going up to the nursery with Gwen to see what toys you can find there? Surely there must be something up there you’d enjoy playing with.” Her eyes grew wide and she nodded.

Ash moved to ring for Mrs. Archer, but then saw a whole group of servants gathered in the hall, his housekeeper among them. He couldn’t blame them for wanting to get a glimpse of his guest. Anyone with a pair of eyes would guess they were brothers, which would only heighten their curiosity. “Mrs. Archer?”

She hurried across the hall to the drawing room. “Yes, my lord?”

“Will you please show Gwen and Maggie up to the nursery? I know it’s been closed up for a very long time, but just do the best you can.” He lowered his voice so only she would hear. “And get everyone back to work. I don’t need onlookers or eavesdroppers.”

“Yes, my lord. Of course.” She turned and glared at the other servants and they immediately dispersed.

Ash grabbed the tray of food and handed it to the housekeeper. “Take this with you so she can nibble on them if she decides to.”

Gwen took Maggie’s hand. Ash leaned down and whispered into her ear on her way out of the room. “I promise I’ll explain everything later. Thank you for showing me so much grace.”

“I look forward to hearing the story this evening, my lord.” The little minx winked at him before turning and leaving the room.

Feeling a bit discomfited, Ash sighed and turned back to Trent. “Why don’t we go up to my study? We’re less likely to have an audience up there.”

Trent’s gaze traveled over every detail as they moved through the house, clearly not accustomed to so much extravagance. Who would be, really?

“Have a seat,” Ash said as they entered his study. He closed the door as Trent settled himself in front of his desk. Ash poured two glasses of brandy and set one in front of Trent before sitting across from him.

Trent picked up the glass, examining its contents before setting it back down. His dark eyes wandered aimlessly about the room looking slightly bewildered.

“I don’t really know how to do this.”

“How to drink brandy?” Ash teased.

Trent’s laugh sounded subdued, and he looked a little overwhelmed. “I mean, all of this.” He waved his hand aimlessly. “The luxury, the house, the servants, the crystal and expensive spirits, and especially you.” His eyes came up to meet Ash’s. ”Particularly in this grand house, I don’t feel right not addressing you by your title. And all of the kindness you’ve shown me and Maggie and?—”

“Trent,” Ash said, cutting him off. “I don’t know how to do this either, but we’ll just figure it out, won’t we?”

Trent nodded.

“I promise I didn’t put poison in that brandy.”

Trent smiled meekly and took a sip. He nodded appreciatively.

“I need to apologize about something from last night, Ash.”

“You don’t need to apologize about anything, Trent.”

“I do,” he said more firmly. “I should not have used that word when I mentioned the women who work for you. It was disrespectful to them, and I regretted it the moment it left my mouth. I don’t use words like that, and I’m sorry.”

Ash raised his glass. “Thank you.” The truth was, he was actually very pleased that Trent insisted on apologizing for that. It spoke to how he felt toward women.

“Feel free to tell me if I'm being impertinent, but is Gwen one of the women who works in your club?”

“She was, and she will be again. Unfortunately, she was one of the women involved in the fake marriage scheme. Luckily, fate somehow brought her to my doorstep, once more.”

“My God. I wish I’d known that was happening. Perhaps I could have done something.” He shook his head dejectedly.

“What’s done is done. As horrible as it is, there is no undoing any of it now. We can only hope the people involved are punished sufficiently.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Now,” Ash said. “I have done a lot of thinking since I met you last night, and I want to see that you’re taken care of.”

“Ash, you don’t owe me anything.”

He held up a hand to stop him. “I know I don’t, but let me finish. I believe I have a solution that will benefit us both.”

Trent nodded. “I’m listening.”

“I have no family. My parents and my brother are all dead.” Ash sipped his brandy. “I don’t want to just dismiss the fact that I suddenly have a brother, and a niece.” The muscles in Trent’s jaw were tight and he folded his arms across his chest. This was difficult for him. Ash knew what it was to not want to accept help or kindness from people.

“Let me tell you how I’d like it to go, and then you can tell me your opinions. First up, I’d like to settle some money on you, that should have been rightfully yours when our father died.”

Trent shook his head. “I don’t want charity from you, Ash.”

“It’s not charity. Like I said, it should have been rightfully yours. In addition to that, I’m in need of an estate manager. I know you’re not trained for that, but I also know you’ve been watching the comings and goings on this estate for a year. It’s clear that you’re smart and resourceful, and you even have a family connection to the estate. Is that something you’d be interested in learning if I brought someone in to teach you?”

“How could you possibly trust me to manage your estate? You don’t even know me, and the small amount you do know isn’t good.”

“I’m a fairly good judge of character. Besides that, I won’t be making the same mistakes I made before. There will be a lot of eyes around here, and everyone will have access to me. I’m leaving, but I won’t be disconnecting the same way I did before. I won’t be just abandoning this place. So I’m going to make the choice to trust you, and I hope that in time, you’ll prove me right. Until then, there will be checks and balances in place to ensure everyone is taken care of. It is a big job, though, so you certainly don’t have to take it on.”

“I would be honored to, and will do my best to learn as much and as quickly as I can.”

“Good man!” Ash wasn’t sure if he’d actually agree to it, and was truly pleased he had.

“And for what it's worth, I would be grateful to have you as my brother, Ash.”

These sensations of warmth in his heart were still so foreign to him, but they’d happened several times these past few days. From Gwen and Benson, Maggie, and now Trent. Is this what it felt like to have a family who cared about one another?

Ash raised his glass. “To our future, whatever it may hold.”

“To our future.” Trent clinked his glass against Ash’s and they both downed the remainder of their brandy.

“I’ll reach out to Lord and Lady Epworth. I know them personally, and their estate isn’t far from here. He’ll be helpful for knowing who to bring in to train you up, and they have young children, so Lady Epworth will know where to start in finding a governess for Maggie.”

Trent held up his hands. “Whoa. I feel like you and I have very different visions of this, Ash. Surely, an estate manager does not earn enough to afford a governess, not to mention, there’s not an extra room in the home I’m living in.”

“I just assumed you would live here.”

“You what? Here?” He looked around the room again.

“I know this house is a lot, and it will take some getting used to, but it would be beneficial for us both. You’d be here to oversee everything. And it’s a massive house. It seems silly for it to just sit empty while you’re living in barely more than a shack.”

“I’ve worked hard to be able to afford that shack.”

“I know you have, and I’m not discounting that. I’m in no way implying that you can’t make it on your own without my money. You obviously can. You’ve done just fine, and you’ve worked hard to provide for yourself and Maggie. You’ll work hard here, too, Trent. And I know you want the best for Maggie. I believe living here and being provided with a good education will give her a leg up in life. It will give her opportunities that, I’m sorry to say, she wouldn’t be afforded without those things.”

Trent nodded, but he wasn’t happy. He let out a long sigh. “It still feels like charity to me.”

“And yet, I feel as if I’m taking advantage of you. I’m asking you to take on immense responsibilities that should really be mine. The truth is, I can never live here. There are simply too many nightmares from my past that still reside within these walls. I found my brother’s lifeless body hanging in his room. I looked on as my mother was beaten to death in hers. I endured countless beatings, many of them in this very room. I can’t get away from those things here, which is why I left in the first place, and why I must leave again.”

“It’s so hard to believe that such horrific things happened in a place filled with so much beauty and lavishness. Enduring all of that, how in God’s name did you end up a decent man? Why are you not the despot that he was?”

Ash shrugged. “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

Trent shook his head. “No. I don’t believe that. You’re a good man. You’re not simply masquerading as one.”

“Hopefully you’re right. Now, I would like to leave here and get back to my normal life, as soon as possible. I would feel better about leaving if I knew there was someone here I could trust, and for whatever reason, I believe I can trust you.”

“You can.”

Ash nodded. “Good. Let’s get you moved in, then. You and Maggie can choose your bedrooms today.”

Trent closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “This feels like a dream, like it can’t possibly be real.”

Ash got to his feet and came around the desk. “You’ll feel differently once you’ve taken on the workload.” Trent stood and the two of them embraced, thumping each other on the back. He had a brother. In truth, it felt a bit like a dream to him, too. “I’ll show you around, and then we’ll collect Maggie from the nursery.”

* * *

Gwen groaned with bliss as she lowered herself into the hot bathwater. She would miss this tub when they left this place. Perhaps she could convince Ash that he should get some like this for Raven House.

Ash was definitely putting things into place quickly for their departure. Not that she could blame him. She didn’t know what all had happened in this house, but she knew that he had nightmares here. Nightmares that terrified him enough that he had allowed her to sleep in his bed again last night to avoid them. His rules were rigid, and he never broke them, so it spoke to the horror of what awaited him in his sleep.

But tonight, they had dined with Trent and Maggie. She was a delightful little girl and Ash simply doted on her. He’d laughed and smiled and teased. Gwen’s heart warmed remembering the scene. He would be a wonderful father if he ever had children. Although, he’d never talked of settling down or finding a wife. He’d certainly never said anything about producing an heir. The truth was, that was none of her business.

Soon, they would be back in Raven Row and things would go back to how they had been once before. He, the illustrious, if kind, club owner, and she his employee. He treated all of the Lady Ravens as one might a sister. She sighed as she rubbed the washcloth over her shoulder. She didn’t want things to go back to the way they had been before. Not that she wasn’t grateful for what he would provide for her. Of course she was. Who knows what would have happened to her if he hadn’t appeared at that cabin on the very night she had taken refuge there. It wouldn’t have been good, that was assuredly true. For saving her from a horrible fate, she would be eternally grateful, but she would still wish it could be like this with him forever. She’d simply have to enjoy whatever time she could with him, for as long as it lasted. Perhaps tonight, she could convince him to give her more of that exquisite pleasure he’d introduced her to.

After Mary finished plaiting her hair, she excused her for the night. Feeling very wicked, she removed her nightgown and wrapped herself in nothing but her robe. Perhaps it was a bit immodest, but if Ash was to repeat what he’d done last night, it would provide easier access for his magical fingers. Her stomach fluttered just thinking about it.

She tied the sash at her waist and slid her feet into her slippers. Excitement brewing within her, she made the now familiar walk through his dressing room and listened at the door to his bedroom. All was quiet. Slowly, she opened the door and peered inside. A fire burned in the grate, but Ash wasn’t there. Not in the chair or in the bed. Perhaps she would wait for him by the fire.

She sat for an hour, but he never appeared. He was probably avoiding her again. She couldn’t accept that. The time she had with him here was limited. He couldn’t be ending it already. She wasn’t ready to let him go.

She left his room and set out in search of him. Before she got far, the resonant sounds of piano music filled the air. All she had to do was follow them to their source, and there he was. His back was to her as she entered the dimly lit ballroom, his broad shoulders flexing as he moved with the unfamiliar melody. He’d dispensed with his coat and waistcoat and his black sleeves were rolled to just below his elbows. His body moved lithely as the music poured out of his soul through his fingers. No wonder his fingers had been so good at bringing her pleasure. Her cheeks warmed at the thought.

Moving slowly, careful not to make a sound, she made her way closer. The notes crescendoed, forcing her to draw in a breath and goosebumps to rise on her skin, and then they slowed, the volume ebbing. The music lulled her into such a beautiful calm before it trailed to an end.

“Good evening, Gwen.” He picked up the glass of brandy from on top of the piano and took a sip.

“Don’t stop on my account. I was very much enjoying that.”

He patted the bench beside him, and a thrill rushed through her. She’d thought for certain he was going to tell her to go to bed. The chill of the bench quickly penetrated her robe to her skin beneath, reminding her just how little she was wearing.

Ash turned to look at her, his gaze dipping to the front of her robe. He closed his eyes and whispered, “Lord, give me strength.”

She felt a blush creep up her cheeks. “How did you know I was here? I didn’t make a sound.”

His eyes slid open, hunger darkening their already rich depths. “Your tantalizing aroma filled the air as soon as you entered.”

“Mary did put rose in my bathwater.”

“I’d ask what you’re doing here, Gwen, but your choice of attire makes that fairly obvious.”

“I waited for you in your bedchamber, but you never came.”

He rubbed a hand roughly across his forehead. Turning toward her, he took hold of one of her hands. “We have to stop this, Gwen. Tonight is our last night here. Tomorrow we leave for Raven House.”

The words cleaved her heart in two. She wasn’t ready for this to end. She certainly wasn’t going to give up this one last night with him.

“But that’s all the more reason you shouldn’t send me away tonight.”