Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

B elle forced herself to keep moving. Hours had passed, and the fog had only grown thicker. Her lips, nose, and fingers were all long since numb. She just had to keep walking. Eventually, she had to stumble her way to that great monstrosity of a house. How could she not find it? How could she have gotten so lost?

She hissed a cynical laugh as she rubbed her hands up and down her arms. She’d criticized Michael for running off when things got difficult, but she did the same thing. Not just now, either. When Michael had appeared in her life, the first thing she’d done was run away to find Isaac.

Isaac, who’d always been so kind to her, and she’d repaid him by getting him sacked. Somehow she would make that right too. She just had to find her way back to that bloody house.

Unfortunately, she had no idea which direction she was going, or which direction she should be going. She could be walking in circle after circle after circle, for all she knew. Darkness was beginning to fall, and with it, fear wrapped around her chest. It was as if light was the only thing keeping her panic at bay.

More than anything, she wanted to just curl into a ball on the ground and hide from what was happening. But she couldn’t hide from the cold. She had to keep going. But what if she didn’t make it home?

She shook herself. She couldn't think that way. She had to make it home. She needed to feel Michael’s arms around her, to tell him how sorry she was. She needed to tell him she loved him.

“I love you, Michael.” She whispered the words, wishing desperately that he could hear them.

Suddenly, something began to appear through the fog. Although, it wasn’t the first time she’d thought that, but this one wasn’t disappearing. It was definitely some kind of structure. She hurried toward it, stumbling over a large branch that had fallen. It turned out to be some stables. But not the ones for the big house. This building was small and dilapidated.

She made her way inside the rundown, wooden structure. It was abandoned, and she couldn’t see a house that may have accompanied it. It had to be better than nothing, though.

One of the stalls still had some old hay or straw inside. Using her feet, she brushed it into the best pile she could manage. At least it might get her off the cold ground, and she could rest for a little while. She laid her exhausted body down on top of it and curled herself into a tight ball, pressing a hand over her stomach.

“I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you, Michael. I was afraid. I love you,” she whispered again before sleep claimed her.

* * *

“I’m not a bloody lost lamb,” Michael grumbled as Patrick, Ash, Giles, and Isaac herded him into the drawing room. The only reason he’d even allowed them to do that was because Ash had threatened to have him dragged in again if he didn’t come inside willingly.

“Your lips are blue from cold, and you haven’t slept in far too long, Michael.” Ash poured a cup of tea after the tray was deposited by a footman. He shoved the dish into Michael’s hands. “Drink.”

“You’re one to talk, Ash. You’re not even supposed to be on that leg, and you've been hobbling around out there with us for hours on end.”

“Drink.”

His numb fingers struggled to grasp the small handle, so he wrapped his hand around the cup, instead. The tea scorched his icy lips and when he lowered it, the cup rattled against its saucer. He forced down the rest of the hot liquid. Perhaps it would help fight the chill from the inside.

A sudden explosion of rage surged through him, and he hurled the china against the wall where it shattered. “Where the hell is she?” He looked desperately at the other men in the room. Their eyes were all filled with endless sympathy, but there was nothing for them to say.

“This is all my bloody fault.” Michael’s body trembled so violently he’d soon lose his ability to stand. He collapsed into the nearest chair and pounded his fists against its arms. They’d been looking for her for such a long time already. The impenetrable fog had made the whole effort impossible enough, but darkness had fallen hours ago, and even though they all knew it was pointless, they’d continued with their search. What if they didn’t find her? Pain like he’d never known clawed at his heart.

Ash crossed the room and crouched down. “I know you’re angry and scared, but?—”

“You don’t know anything!” Michael cut him off mid-sentence. “You and all of your ridiculous rules. You’ll never allow yourself to get close enough to any woman to even begin to understand what I’m feeling.” The words were arrows intended to maim, and the brief flash of hurt in Ash’s eyes was confirmation that they had hit their target.

Patrick stepped forward then. “That was a low blow, Michael.”

Ash held up a hand. “It’s alright, Patrick.”

“No it isn’t!” Michael bellowed. His resolve crumbled and tears stung the corners of his eyes. “No it isn’t.” A sob broke from him, and he dropped his head into his hands, digging his fingers painfully into his scalp.

Patrick and Ash both immediately pressed a hand to his back. They were trying to comfort him, but there was no comforting him out of this. With an almighty effort, he pulled himself together. He wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath. He peered at Ash’s pitying face. “I have to keep looking for her, Ash.” His breathing hitched. “She’s pregnant.”

Ash closed his eyes for a moment before he spoke. “We’re not giving up, Michael,” he reassured him. “We just need a break. We all need a couple hours to sleep and warm up and then we’ll get back out there.”

Michael nodded. As always, Ash was right. He wasn’t going to do anyone any good if he didn’t rest for a bit.

“Hopefully, the fog will dissipate some during that time,” Ash continued. “And if we haven’t found her by the time the telegraph office opens, I’ll send for reinforcements.”

Michael looked up into the faces of his friends. They all had tired circles around their eyes and ruddy cheeks from the cold.

“I’m so grateful to all of you for sacrificing and helping me through all of this, even if I'm not very good at showing it.”

Patrick squeezed his shoulder. “Let’s get some rest.”

On his way out of the room, Michael placed a hand on Isaac’s shoulder. Words failed him. He was so grateful for the way he’d stepped up, after everything. With a sigh, he patted the man’s shoulder and hoped that would convey what he was feeling.

Isaac nodded his understanding. “We’ll find her, boss.”

Ash walked with Michael all the way to his chambers, probably just to make sure he actually went, but he was glad for the opportunity to have a private word.

“Patrick was right. What I said was a low blow. I was out of line, and I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Michael, but you needn’t be.” He turned to Michael’s valet. “I want your word that if he tries to leave, you will alert me.”

Jones, ever the loyal servant, looked to Michael. The memory of Belle giving the man orders appeared in his mind and it nearly broke him. He reminded himself that taking a rest was so he could better help her. He wasn’t abandoning her.

He shook his head at Jones. “You have my word, Ash.”

“Even better. Now rest, Michael. Several servants are on watch and will wake us all in three hours.”

Michael didn’t think he’d be able to actually sleep, but he’d barely laid his head on the pillow when he was gently shaken awake by Jones.

“It’s been three hours, my lord.”

“Has it?” His voice was hoarse and scratchy. He slowly pushed his aching body into a sitting position on the side of the bed. Jones handed him a steaming towel. The warmth helped to rouse him as he wiped the sleep from his eyes and the dirt from his face and neck. He stood up and stretched. At least he was warm and no longer shaking.

By the time he entered the drawing room, Ash and Patrick were already there, each with a cup of coffee in hand.

“I have good news for you,” Ash said, raising his cup in greeting. “Isaac says the sun is slowly beginning to dispel the fog.”

“Well thank God for that, at least.”

Ash nodded. “It should help us to be able to spread out and search a wider area. I figure we’ll get started on that, and if there’s still no sign of her in a few hours, we’ll regroup, warm up, and send for more help.”

“Don’t start without me,” Giles said as he shuffled into the room and headed straight for the coffee.

Over the next few hours, the fog dissipated more and more, and as the sun came through, it began to gradually warm the air. Still, they found nothing. Not a single sign of her. Where the devil was she?

As they all made their way back inside to regroup and refresh, the atmosphere was thick with despondency. Michael didn’t want to admit it, but he could feel hope slipping away. It had been so cold through the night. As he sipped on his coffee, the sounds of Ash giving orders vaguely penetrated the uncertain numbness that was beginning to settle within him.

He sighed as he stepped through the front door, but then he froze. She was there. Walking down the tree lined drive with Isaac, his long coat wrapped around her and nearly dragging the ground. Was it really her? He blinked several times, and she didn’t disappear. Could it really be her?

“Ash!” he called over his shoulder. He dropped his coffee cup and sprinted toward her.

“Belle!” He urged his legs to move faster. Isaac bent down to her ear and then nudged her forward. She picked up her skirts and ran, a radiant smile stretched across her face.

She leapt into his arms and he clamped them around her. He couldn't hold her close enough.

“Belle, it’s really you. My God, it’s really you.” For a long moment, he just held her tightly against him, never wanting to let her go.

“It’s really me.” He could hear the tears in her voice.

He put her back on the ground. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Michael. I’m fine. I’m sorry Michael. I’m so sorry.”

The words were all spilling out of her so quickly. “Sshhhh.” He didn’t want her apologies. He just needed to know she was well. Michael held her flushed face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Thank God.”

She was really here, in his arms and she was safe. He would never let anything like this happen again. He squeezed her in his embrace once more, relishing the feel of her there. Running footsteps approached behind him and he knew the others had arrived.

“I love you, Michael.” Her breath feathered over his ear as she said the words. He didn’t think his heart could grow anymore, but now it felt as if it might burst.

He set her on her feet and looked into her eyes. “I love you too, Belle. More than I ever knew was possible.”

He pressed a kiss to her lips before dropping to one knee before her. “Will you marry me, Belle?”

She giggled, her smile so incredibly beautiful. “Have you forgotten, husband, that we are in fact, already married?”

“I know.” He took her hands in his and pressed a kiss to them. “But you didn’t choose me before.”

“You didn’t really choose me either, Michael.”

“Well, I do now. I will choose you every day for the rest of our lives. I love you, Belle.”

She cupped her cold hands around his cheeks. “Of course I’ll marry you, Michael. I love you, and I choose you today, and will forevermore.”