27. Rome

27

ROME

I wanted her to be mad at me.

It would have been better if she was mad at me.

Anything would’ve been preferable to the way she iced over, blankness behind her eyes as she regarded me.

“I can’t this weekend, Rome. I have so much I need to get done before Monday.”

“Will you stay home at least?” I asked desperately. Maybe we could bring her food again. Coax her away from her laptop.

“I’ll probably be at school so I can focus.”

Great.

I was standing at her door. I couldn’t even get past her threshold anymore. She had been numb to me ever since the assembly, numb to everyone really. I’d seen Francine ask her something in the corridor and Ivy had walked away mid-sentence, completely unaware.

James had warned me to give her at least twenty-four hours of space when she asked for some alone time. But my alpha couldn’t bear it after one night. I needed to know where we stood, when I was going to see her again.

So here I was on a Saturday morning. Pining.

I leaned my forearms against the frame, my hair a mess over half my face. “Ivy, if you’re mad at me, be mad,” I said heavily.

I was ready to present her my still-beating bloody heart in my fist if I thought it would help.

“Rome.”

She laid a hand on my chest. Hope bloomed like nothing I had ever felt before. She carefully tucked my hair behind my ear before leaning in to kiss me.

Hope. So much fucking hope.

“I’m not mad,” she promised me softly. “You are a wonderful teacher. You are so deserving and I think you are going to do amazing things with the money. SGS’s music department is incredibly lucky to have you.”

Sincerity shone through every word.

So why did it feel like she was carving me open?

“Ivy,” I choked out. “I-I’ll talk to Preston. See if it can be divided, or even transferred?—”

“Why would you do that?” She shook her head. “The arts rarely get an opportunity like this. No, Rome. You have to make the most of it,” she said adamantly.

God, she was killing me.

“I have to get back to work.”

“What are you working on?” I asked, searching for a chance, a window of opportunity, anything to spend a little longer in her presence.

“Fundraising initiatives.”

She may as well have sunk a dagger directly into my heart.

“Congratulations, Rome. I mean it.” Ivy kissed my cold, dead lips. “I better get back to it.”

She closed the door carefully in my face.

I drove home but knocked on Logan’s door instead.

“I need you to try too,” I said without even greeting him.

Logan clicked his tongue. Odd to think that we were strangers mere weeks ago and now he was pack. “I don’t know if it’ll help,” he said warningly, running his hand over his beard.

“Anything is better than this.”

I tried to distract myself and give Logan time to work his magic. Moving knickknacks around the room, deciding it would be a good time to rearrange the fridge. James extricated the milk I was trying to squash horizontally on the top shelf, lovingly told me I was being a pest and ordered me to go jam on my guitar instead.

Logan’s familiar knock sounded a mere fifteen minutes later and I nearly ripped the door off the hinges. I was, however, disappointed he hadn’t made his way into Ivy’s nest and had her happily knotted on his anaconda of a dick.

“Well?”

“Terrible.”

I squashed my face into the wall and let it muffle my pathetic throat noise.

Logan gave me a concerned look. “I told her that we understood how important her job was. And all we wanted was to be there for her through whatever she was feeling — good or bad.”

“Really? You said all of that?”

“That’s what you told me to say!”

That was true.

James came over. “What did she say?” he asked Logan.

“She repeated that she wasn’t mad at you,” Logan recounted. “But it was really important that she get back to work.” He stared down at his hands. “I…told her that I missed her and we’d be here whenever she was ready.”

Off script but I approved.

“She told me she wasn’t going anywhere and invited me to stay in her nest tonight.” It should’ve been a cause for celebration but Logan sighed heavily instead. “I don’t know. I think she doesn’t even realize she’s—” He made a wall-like motion with his hand in front of his face.

James was silent for a while, processing our predicament. He shrugged, shaking the tension loose from his body. “Alright. Get dressed both of you. Warmly,” he instructed us decisively. He noted Logan’s jacket and boots. “Or rather Rome and I, I should say.”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“Seems like a good day to try out the 1000 steps.”

Starlight Grove sat in the shadow of Solstice Mountain. One of my first thoughts when I first arrived was how beautifully the town was hugged by sea and earth. A sanctuary.

I’d heard of the 1000 steps walk. A steep winding trail to a lookout point partway up the mountain. It was very well-maintained and safe regardless of the season and the views out to the shining ocean were supposedly spectacular.

Even so, I never had the urge to climb the damn thing.

“1000 steps on Solstice Mountain?” I said skeptically. “Why does it sound like there’s a witchy ritual waiting for us at the end?”

James was already partway down the hall. “Well, there are three of us.”

“James!”

“Bring something you want to burn in a cauldron!” he called over his shoulder.

I sighed. He was silly but he was still mine.

Logan pursed his lips. “Is he serious?”

James was an exercise-gives-me-endorphins deviant and very happy in the bond.

“Yes,” I said, resigned to my fate. “I better get ready before he threatens me with a broomstick.”

“I hate you.”

“Save the foreplay for later, Rome.”

I was leaning on my thighs, panting as I mentally prepared for the next set of steps. Picking up heavy stuff and putting it back down again — fine. I did that with (semi) regularity at the gym. But this burning in my lungs, calves, ribs, every-fucking-where was the worst. Even breathing hurt, every inhale made of needles.

I was the only one suffering. Logan must have been part bear. Maybe portions of his DNA were finding their home again amongst the snow-capped conifers. His strides had been long and easy, and was currently waiting an entire flight of stairs ahead of us.

“Come on, this sign says we’re nearly there!” he called down.

He probably sensed a salmon stream nearby and wanted to catch some in that big mouth of his.

I spotted a thin stream of smoke on the horizon, a gray thread unspooling into the sky.

“Do people live out here?” I huffed. “Who would do that to themselves?”

James snorted and loped ahead like a deer.

The three of us did eventually make it to the end of the 1000 steps. I lay on a bench wheezing, unable to even enjoy the view. James and Logan were leaning against the wooden railing, pointing out landmarks they could see. A fat little bird landed near them – more feathered chest than anything else – and James oohed, immediately pulling out his phone to try and figure out the species. Logan attempted to coax it closer with nothing more than clicking sounds and it flew away haughtily, unimpressed by the big alpha’s offering.

“This was a good idea. Thanks, man,” Logan said, unfazed that he was not a Disney princess.

“Good to get out in nature, isn’t it?” James replied.

“Yeah, really puts things in perspective.”

I was glad my arm was back across my forehead so they couldn’t see me roll my eyes.

“Stop being a baby and get up here with us,” James scolded.

I hauled myself onto my jelly legs and collapsed against the railing next to the rest of my pack. Starlight Grove looked like a miniature toy town beneath us and the ocean glittered beneath the winter sun.

Ok, maybe this was kind of nice.

“What we’re doing with Ivy is long game,” James said quietly. “I don’t get the feeling she’s being malicious, do you?”

I shook my head.

Nothing about the way she spoke to me today was cruel. Even though it hurt like hell. Plus, if she had been trying to push us away purposefully she wouldn’t have invited Logan into her nest.

“I think Ivy has been cautious all her life,” James reasoned. “And she’s gotten used to being independent. We can’t expect her to know how to be a pack omega straight away.”

Doing so would make us no better than her ex, I realized.

“Slow and steady.” An incorrigible smile began to spread across the beta’s face. “One step at a?—”

“If you turn this hike into a metaphor, James, I swear to god I will?—”

Logan clapped a large hand on James’ shoulder. “We should do this again sometime. Bring Ivy here too.”

I didn’t like this new alliance. Especially when I said words and they ignored me.

“I’ll bring cards.”

“A picnic basket.”

“Yes! Make a day of it.”

My eyes darted between the two of them, resentment bubbling.

“You’re in, aren’t you, babe?”

James’ smile was infuriating and dazzling.

“Yeah,” I said grudgingly. “And you’re right, by the way. About Ivy.”

His face grew serious. “I know your alphas probably want to keep her permanently fed and happy in her nest but that’s not who she is.” James gave me a wry look. “Ok, sometimes it is.”

That was a good fucking day.

“But I wanted to court her because she’s Ivy. Not because she’s an omega.”

Logan agreed immediately. “Same.”

“This is going to be an adjustment for all of us. But especially for her.” He straightened his glasses across his nose.

I exhaled in one long breath, anxiety quieting, heartbeat slowing. “So we give her time.”

“And show her we can fit into her world,” Logan finished.

An actionable plan. Maybe things were looking up after all.

I stared at the stairs heading back down and felt queasy.

James slipped his hand in mine. “Let’s enjoy the view a little longer.”

“Ok,” I said, relieved.

“You just let us know when you don’t feel like a freshly born foal anymore.”

I glared at him to the sound of Logan’s laughter.