Chapter 32

Hannah wanted to throw her window open and beg William to return, but she remained behind her curtains, watching his carriage drive away. She was in agony and knew he fared no better, but she had no choice. Revealing the truth about their ended courtship would not end well.

He would likely think her a fool or accuse her of lying. No one would believe that someone as seemingly sweet as Lady Ruth would threaten her. Everyone loved her and thought she could do no wrong. Hannah was the one who had a past that could discredit her.

No matter how hard she tried to forget her first heartache, it always returned to torture her somehow. For years, Hannah was known as the woman who was rejected for being too immature. They ridiculed her relentlessly. Some had even suggested she was a simpleton. Hannah was far from being stupid.

She played several musical instruments, spoke five languages, and excelled in everything she was taught. Her only weakness was being unable to stand up for herself. Once people knew she was soft-spoken, never argued, and would bend over backwards to help someone in need, they instantly took advantage of her.

Her very best friend was the worst of the lot. Hannah never knew she was jealous of her and was planting terrible stories to ruin her image. This friend used all Hannah’s secrets against her, mocking her at every chance she got.

Eventually, everyone seemed against her and believed the worst of her. Even Hannah’s parents had spoken against her until she felt alone and miserable. Hannah didn’t want to wear her heart on her sleeve again, so she refused to marry anyone. Remaining a spinster seemed the wisest choice. However, that all changed when she met William.

William was nothing like her first love. He was considerate, sweet, and kind, making her feel like the most wanted woman in the world. However, Hannah couldn’t help being reminded of the past. If her first love would not allow her to defend herself, there was every chance that William would do the same. Her heart was too fragile to take another heartache. It wasn’t fair on William, but Hannah just couldn’t release her trauma from the past.

She turned away from the window when a servant entered her room with breakfast. “Miss Barnes sent this, My Lady,” the maid explained. “She was worried you would not eat before the church service.”

Hannah inwardly groaned. She had forgotten about the service that morning. “Thank you,” she replied. “Leave the tray on the table.”

The maid curtsied and left, her feet hardly making a sound on the carpeted floor. Hannah picked a piece of apple from the tray, chewing it as she considered what to do. She didn’t want to attend church because William would undoubtedly be there, but people would question her absence. They expected her to be there because she had never missed a Christmas service as long as she had been alive. No, she would have to go.

With her mind made up, she looked through her armoire for the perfect dress. She still wanted to look her best so no one could know she was grieving her ended relationship. She would not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her heartbroken.

***

“We should have just stayed home,” Henry muttered when they arrived at church.

They were quite late because Tommy messed his clothing with soured milk and had to be bathed and changed. He was also upset, and it took a while to calm him down. However, his sister was adamant that they would still attend the service.

“We’re here, and it’s fine,” Juliana replied.

They managed to find a place at the back of the church, but they still attracted a lot of attention. People were staring in interest instead of listening to Mr Bartlett preach about the miracle of Christ’s birth and what it meant for the world. Henry rolled his eyes. It seemed almost blasphemous for someone like Mr Bartlett to preach about someone as good as the Lord. He was leading a flock while his heart was heading to hell. It was amusing and annoying.

Shifting in his seat, Henry subtly glanced at Rebecca beside him. She was carrying his sleepy nephew, a cloth lying over her shoulder to catch his drool. She truly was a natural with babies, and he could see her surrounded by a brood. Furthermore, he could see what a wonderful wife and mother she would be for him and their children.

Henry had tried his best to avoid such thoughts because they were pointless, but imagining such a wonderful situation brought him joy. He couldn’t count how often he had been tempted to throw caution to the wind and confess his feelings. Ignoring the disapproving comments and looks and following his heart was what he wanted, but it wasn’t such an easy feat.

Rebecca changed Tommy’s position in her arms, releasing a whiff of her wonderful perfume. It was sweet and fresh but with enough warmth to suit the cold winter day. She had to have more than one perfume because this was a new scent. He couldn’t decide which was his favourite, but this one certainly had him hooked.

“Are you comfortable, Miss Barnes?” he asked. “Would you like me to take Tommy from you?”

“I’m fine, thank you, Your Grace,” she said. “How long is the service?”

“Around two hours, but we got here rather late, so we have about an hour and a half left,” he replied.

She nodded. “Thank you.”

Henry smiled and turned away, frowning when he noticed the vicar’s keen gaze. He was staring at Rebecca. The man was preaching about Jesus while staring rather lustfully at a woman. In a church. Henry inwardly shook his head, narrowing his eyes at Mr Bartlett. It didn’t help that Rebecca looked beautiful in a deep red dress with gold lace and a gold ribbon in her hair.

The colour suited her well, making her lovely skin and features stand out. Looking around the room, Henry realized the vicar wasn’t the only one staring at Rebecca. Several men, many of them married, kept turning in their seats to watch her. Amusingly, she didn’t seem to notice. Her attention was on the child in her arms.

Smiling to himself, Henry crossed his arms and stared ahead, letting the vicar’s words go over his head. The man habitually droned on about the same thing at least a dozen times, making the service seem far longer. However, it eventually came to an end. Usually, the parishioners would wait for the vicar to leave the church first and wait in line to greet him, but Henry didn’t want to wait that long.

He urged his family to go first, wanting to avoid the man. He had a feeling Mr Bartlett would make a point of stopping them just to talk to Rebecca. Ruth and her parents were also a few pews ahead of them, so if they left now, they could avoid them. Henry didn’t want to hear her mother ask about their courtship.

“But we should wait like the rest,” his sister said.

“I’d also like to leave, Juliana,” said Aunt Hannah. “I feel a frightful headache coming along. I need a short nap before our dinner later.”

Juliana sighed. “Oh, very well,” she replied.

Henry took Tommy from Rebecca, noticing the little strain around her mouth. His nephew was growing into a big boy, and she was just a little thing. Strong, but tiny in comparison to him.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” she said, shaking the fatigue out of her arms. “His lordship becomes rather heavy when he’s asleep.”

“My plump prince,” Juliana cooed, brushing her son’s hair away from his brow. “He looks so peaceful when he’s asleep.”

“They all do, My Lady,” said Rebecca, chuckling. “They are perfect angels when asleep and hellions when awake. However, his lordship has not quite entered that stage yet, but he’s getting there. I fear when he starts pulling himself up onto his feet.”

His sister baulked. “Just how terrible will that be?” she asked.

“I will do everything I can to prepare you, My Lady,” Rebecca assured. “Perhaps you should hire younger nannies when the time comes. Nanny Bates will not manage alone.”

“Goodness,” his sister cried.

Everyone laughed as they entered the carriage, amused by the look of worry on her face. They arrived home to warm drinks and sweetmeats to tide them over until dinnertime. Feeling jolly, Juliana decided to play the pianoforte while they stood around her and sang carols.

Even Aunt Hannah seemed in better spirits, which was a relief. Henry was growing increasingly worried about her and was itching to pull her aside and talk to her, but she seemed better. Perhaps it had something to do with womanly issues.

“Would you excuse me?” Rebecca said, drawing their attention. “I need to head to the kitchen to ensure all is going well for dinner.”

“Mrs Harris can do that,” said Henry, not wanting her to leave his side.

He liked having her with them and partaking in all the festivities. They felt like a family.

“I promised Mrs Harris that I would help,” Rebecca explained. “I will only be a moment.”

She smiled and left the room, leaving it a little colder. The fire was blazing comfortably, so it had nothing to do with the physical cold. Henry merely liked having her near. She was a habit he didn’t want to break, a dream he didn’t want to wake up from.

“Why don’t we all take a little rest?” Juliana suggested, taking Tommy from their aunt.

“I could do with a bit of leg-stretching,” Henry said. “I’ll return in half an hour or so.”

He left the room, walking in no particular direction. He felt aimless, following the hallway until he realized he was heading to the kitchen. Rebecca appeared around the corner then, almost knocking into him.

“Your Grace!” she cried, stepping back quickly.

He held her arms, steadying her. “I’m sorry if I startled you,” he said.

She shook her head, moving away until he let go of her. “I wasn’t looking where I was going,” she said.

He smiled. “Let’s just agree that we’re both in the wrong,” he suggested.

She nodded, returning his smile. Their moment from the previous evening flashed in his mind, making him hot all over. Henry probably would have kissed her if his valet had not interrupted them. That probably wasn’t the right thing to be annoyed about, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He had never felt more strongly about a woman and didn’t quite know how to deal with the foreign feelings, so he just went with instinct.

He stepped closer to her, wanting to discuss their shared moment, but the words left him. Frustrated, he looked skyward for a moment, realizing with a start that Rebecca was standing under the mistletoe. That gave him ideas, none of them particularly good.

Rebecca seemed to notice he was staring at something because she looked up, gasping when she saw the mistletoe. Her expression was priceless, but her mouth seemed so inviting at that moment that a desperate need overcame him. He moved closer until they were touching, hesitating briefly to see if she would run away. She didn’t. Instead, she simply stared at him, her cheeks growing rosier by the second.

“Say no, and I’ll walk away,” he whispered, leaning closer to her face.

She swallowed hard, her eyes falling to his lips. She licked her own, which he took as permission to lean even closer and capture her lips in a light kiss. A jolt ran through his body, jerking him away from her.

He had just kissed Rebecca! Henry stared at her, caught between joy and concern. Rebecca’s eyes were closed, and her mouth was slightly parted, almost inviting him for another kiss, but he held himself back. She eventually opened her eyes, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and need.

“Rebecca,” he began, feeling the need to say something.

One simply didn’t just go around kissing their employees, but Rebecca wasn’t just anyone to him. She was the woman who had captured his interest and perhaps his heart. However, the moment to say something passed because a servant appeared, interrupting them. Henry cursed under his breath, tempted to scold the servant.

“Your Grace,” the maid said, looking strangely at them.

“Yes?” Henry said, moving away from Rebecca to lean on the wall.

She still appeared confused, as though she hadn’t quite made heads or tails of what had just happened.

“Lady Ruth and Mr Bartlett have arrived,” the maid revealed.

“I beg your pardon?” he said. “Lady Ruth and the vicar are here?”

The maid nodded. “Yes, Your Grace.”

Henry cursed more loudly, startling Rebecca and the maid. He didn’t know what the pair wanted at his house. They had not been invited to the Christmas dinner, and they never sent word that they would come. They both had their own families with whom to spend Christmas Day.

Henry wasn’t happy and wouldn’t pretend otherwise, especially when they had stolen his chance to speak to Rebecca about what was happening between them. She deserved an explanation after stealing a kiss from her lips.