Chapter 23

Lucian felt a presence in his chamber but did not move. In fact, he barely opened his eyes, but squinted into the darkness, prepared to attack whoever was trespassing until he realized that it was Eliza who stood just inside the door, holding a blanket.

What was she about?

He nearly asked as she studied him. Thank goodness that he hadn’t pushed the blankets any lower in his sleep or she would be seeing far more of him than any miss ever should. As it was, she studied his face, or perhaps it was his chest, for the longest time and it took everything he possessed to continue feigning sleep. She then crossed the room and when she stepped outside of his peripheral vision, Lucian rolled in his sleep and pulled the blanket up.

Eliza paused her steps, and likely held her breath, as she waited for him to wake. When he didn’t move any further and kept his breathing even, she laid down on the chaise and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

Had the missive scared her enough that she feared being alone?

Apparently, it had because if she had seduction in mind she would have crawled into his bed. Not even when the storm raged did she enter his chamber so she must be even more frightened of a stranger coming into the house.

Did he alert her that he was awake? Did he just let her sleep on the chaise? He was a gentleman and should give her the bed if she truly was too frightened to be alone, except, the chaise was too short for his frame and he certainly couldn’t offer the other side of his bed because it would be torturous to remain on his side and not pull her into his arms.

In all the time that he had known Eliza she had been brave, resilient even if she were sometimes foolish, except when faced with a storm. His heart softened to realize that she must be truly terrified.

What else did she hide behind courage? Had her tarot reading been as accurate as his?

Not that Lucian was willing to give any true credence to the cards but it did make him pause in wonder. Even if they were just a coincidence, they had altered Eliza’s mood the other evening and likely prompted her to leave the safety of the terrace.

What had they been?

The first had been the upside-down Fool, her present, which meant recklessness. The second had been her immediate future, The Moon, reversed, which meant fear and confusion.

He frowned and watched her sleep, or he hoped that she slept as her eyes were closed. But, the fact that she had snuck into his chamber because she was afraid of sleeping alone, offered proof that perhaps it had been accurate.

The third card, her goal or destiny had been the Magician, meaning desire and creation. Given the way she had kissed him—three times—and that she was an author proved both were accurate.

Lucian frowned. Not once had he been the first to kiss her. She always kissed him. A bold miss indeed, though for once, Lucian would like to be the one who kissed her first.

He blinked. Kissing Eliza was the last thing he should be thinking about while she slumbered in his chamber while he was in his bed and quite naked.

Fourth card, yes, he needed to think about the cards, not how pleasurable it would be to have Eliza sharing his bed. It was the distant past and hers had been the Ten of Cups, reversed, or broken dreams and disharmony.

Again, he frowned, and he hurt for the girl who had been forgotten too often by her parents. Left at school and not brought home for holidays. He had lost his parents to death, which had been painful enough, but to be forgotten by a mother and a father must have been equally painful.

As for the fifth card, her recent past, was the Queen of Wands. He smiled recalling that it meant courage and determination, which certainly described Eliza.

None of these cards should have brought about the melancholy he had witnessed that evening. Well, except for her childhood. Could it have been the other cards?

The sixth had been her future influence, the Two of Cups, or unity and partnership. It had been the same as his, but through a different card.

If anything, assuming it was accurate, which they were not, Lucian reminded himself, he assumed that was of a temporary nature until she was no longer in danger. What if it was meant for a more permanent union?

What should alarm him, no longer did. How often had Lucian convinced himself that they would never suit and that passion and desire were not enough to make for a happy marriage, but despite how much she aggravated and irritated him, he enjoyed having her here. It was enjoyable to share dinner with her in the evening, and to have hers one of the first faces he saw in the morning. There was life at Wyndhill Park that had not existed previously.

Yes, when his brothers were here, there was companionship and conversation, but each spent time doing what was of interest to them such as Micah at his cello, Asher rarely left the stables when at the estate, and Silas now spent much time there as well when he was not in London studying veterinary medicine. It was Lucian who remained within the house, seeing to estate business, which was often lonely. That is, until Eliza invaded his home.

He smiled. She had also invaded his heart, and Lucian had no idea when that had occurred, and could not honestly say if it had been recently or years ago.

His mind was drifting to possibilities when he still did not have answers as to her shift in mood.

The seventh card, the questioner or advice had been the Five of Cups, which was acceptance and finding peace. He frowned, as had she, which made Lucian question what she had to accept or what did she need to make peace with. As for the eighth card, her external influence, the Wheel of Fortune prophesied inevitable fate or change. Eliza mentioned that she had not liked having no control over her future. The nine, which had been her inner emotion had been Strength, but reversed and conveyed self-doubt or insecurity.

Lucian frowned. He would have thought Eliza the most confident woman he had ever met. Was it simply all a fa?ade?

He knew without a doubt, after recalling what her cards had been, and her reaction, that those last cards had shaken her and Eliza feared that she would not gain what she wanted even though her final result, the Page of Wands, indicated that it would be exploration and freedom.

Did Eliza want something else? What did she long for that she feared that she may never have?

Further, how much fear did she possess and what else did she hide?

There was no doubt in his mind that she was brave, curious, and bold, but Lucian was coming to realize that there was far more to Eliza. Likely more than she was willing to share with anyone and he wanted to discover everything about her, especially the parts that she hid.

What did she want that she could not have? And why did Lucian experience such a strong need to make certain she received everything she desired?

Eliza woke to a bright room, though no sunlight penetrated the windows directly. Still, it was later in the morning than she usually rose, then she recalled where she was and quickly sat up and looked at the bed. Lucian was gone, but the covers were still rumpled from his sleeping, which meant he knew that she had snuck in here last night.

Blast! She had hoped to have awakened before him and already gone and then he would never have known.

He would want an explanation, but did she tell him the truth?

Oh, she hated to appear weak to him or anyone else. If he knew of her fear, he would use it to keep her within the house or only allow her to exercise on the terrace while being watched.

She understood and truthfully, she was grateful, but this hiding and living in fear was aggravating.

Taking her blanket, she crossed his chamber and opened the door to the sitting room, intending to go to her own chamber, but was brought up short to find Lucian sitting in a chair and reading a newssheet. On the table in front of the settee was a tea service.

Maybe if she walked quietly, he would not notice her and she’d be able to make her escape. However, before she was halfway across the room, he lowered the newssheet and spoke. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes,” Eliza answered and continued walking.

“I will ring for Stella. She was waiting for you to wake.”

Eliza closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “How did she know where I was? What did you tell her?”

Her sleeping in his chamber all night was ruinous at the very least no matter what had occurred or the reasons.

“She had gone to your chamber but when she could not find you, came in here only to find me. I directed her to my chamber.”

“Did she look or did you explain?”

“I explained and told her to look to satisfy her own curiosity.”

At least Stella knew that she hadn’t gone to Lucian’s bed, but she had still gone to his chamber, and she didn’t want to have to explain to anyone why.

“I shall find her.”

“She is waiting to bring your breakfast in here.”

Eliza frowned. “Why not go to the dining room for breakfast?”

“Because I thought you would prefer to have our conversation in private and not overheard by the servants.”

“What conversation would that be?” Though she already knew what answers he would demand.

“The reason you snuck into my bedchamber last night and slept on the chaise.”

Eliza blew out a sigh and made her way to the settee and poured a cup of tea. She assumed the empty cup was for her since Lucian was already drinking out of one. “It was silly and it will not happen again,” she finally said.

“It must not have seemed silly last night,” he observed.

“Can we please just not discuss this and forget it ever happened?”

“That, I cannot do.”

“Why? You did not even know I was there until you woke. If I would have risen earlier, you would have never known.”

“There, you are mistaken, for I woke as soon as you entered my chamber last night.”

Eliza felt the blood drain from her cheeks. She was certain he had been asleep. “No, you did not wake,” she argued. It was not possible. “I watched you and was very quiet and not once did you open your eyes.”

“Not fully,” he admitted. “I feigned being asleep because I wanted to see what you were about.”

Eliza frowned. “What did you think I was going to do?”

He arched an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth tipped “That I did not know, but I did consider a few options. None of them were you settling in to sleep on my chaise.”

Now her face flamed. “You thought I had come to your room to crawl in bed with you?” Goodness, the very idea made her warm and even though she was bold, she would not go so far.

Though, perhaps she should. It was what she wanted.

Eliza shook the thoughts from her mind. Since he always broke away from kisses, no doubt he’d make her leave his bed and she did not want to have to suffer that humiliation.

“I am sorry if I disturbed you,” she finally said.

“There is no need to apologize and my only concern is why?”

“I have already told you that it is silly.”

“That, I doubt.” He rose and went to the bellpull and gave it a tug. “I am certain Stella will be up right away with your breakfast.

“I really should change into something more proper. It is not right that I sit here in my nightshift and robe.”

Lucian shrugged. “I have no objection, especially since I have not fully dressed for the day.”

He was only in shirt sleeves and trousers, and stockings. Lucian had not even put on his boots yet and she assumed that this was how he liked to dress when relaxing in private, which she could understand. The more layers of clothing that were added for any purpose always increased the discomfort. If she only wrote in her private set of rooms, Eliza might consider always wearing her night shift for the comfort alone. Instead, she would put on a day dress, as was proper, and because servants could walk into the parlor at any time, but dresses, and the undergarments required, were not as comfortable as the freedom of a night shift.

“I will return in a moment,” she said. Perhaps while she prepared for the day, she would be able to come up with a reasonable explanation for sleeping in his chamber, except it was likely he would not believe her.

She just simply hated telling him the truth.