17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Noelle

"I asked my agent to talk with the general managers for both the Rays' and Bees' to discuss if they would be open to trading me."

My heart slams into my stomach, and my entire body goes cold. Tears push at the back of my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I understand." I force the words through my tight throat.

"I asked for a trade," Cole's eyes pin me. My heart is like a battering ram against my ribcage. "From Tampa Bay to Salt Lake City."

His words penetrate the emotional haze that's left my body weak, and I feel tears start to stream down my face.

"Why would you do that?" I ask, my voice hoarse. I close my eyes, feeling heat creep up my entire body. The shame at what he would do pours over me in waves.

Cole cups my face with his free hand and wipes my tears. "Do you really not know why?"

I look down at my lap and shake my head back and forth.

"Bug," he whispers. When I don't look up, he puts his thumb under my chin and gently nudges it up.

His eyes shine in the firelight, and my mouth dries at the intensity of what I see staring back at me.

"Because I loved you. I loved you so much that you not being with me to share my dream somehow didn't make my dream worth living. I wanted…no…I needed to be with you." He stops, and I can see his throat move as he swallows before he carries on. "After I met you, everything changed for me. My life was no longer just about baseball, but about the life we would share and baseball."

I stare at him because I'm stunned into silence. I think of how I didn't want to ruin his life. How I felt that by relieving him of my burdens, I was somehow helping. But instead of helping, I…

"I knew you were struggling." He looks away for a moment but then looks back at me with a determination in his eyes that I am all too familiar with. "And it was killing me. You couldn't come to me, so I was going to try to move heaven and earth to come to you. But I couldn't."

The weakness in his voice as he speaks makes my stomach tighten. My hand lifts to his cheek, and when he squeezes his eyes and leans into my palm, tears fall freely from my eyes.

When he opens his eyes and looks at me, his pained expression makes my chest tighten.

"Cole, I am so very sorry," I whisper. "I was only trying to help you focus on your dream. I never meant to—"

"Crush me?" His lips quirk, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. "I know. I also knew that when you started becoming too busy to talk to me, it was only a matter of time before you pushed me away completely."

I close my eyes and drop my head, thinking of how I acted like a complete child. I never thought about how he would feel because of my actions. I only thought about what I needed to do to protect him. I can't believe he tried to rearrange his life to be closer to me.

And what did I do? I pushed him away.

"When Mel told me you were doing the same thing to her, I knew it was bad. I hinted around something happening but didn't want to get your hopes up until I knew if it was possible."

I think back to one of Cole's and my conversations, where he talked about the Salt Lake City Bees. I felt like there was more to what he was saying, but I was also in no place to comprehend exactly what he was saying.

"Wait." My head tilts, and I squint my eyes. "Is that when you were talking about the Bees and how close they were to Gran's house?"

He chews his bottom lip and slowly nods his head. "Yup."

I look into his earnest green eyes, and any remaining ice around my heart melts. "You would've done that for me?" I push past the tightness in my throat.

"Noelle," his husky voice sends chills down my body as his eyes roam my face like they're trying to memorize every one of its features. "I would do anything for you. "

My breath is zapped from me, and my mouth drops open.

"I love you, Ladybug. So very much."

I take a deep, shaky breath as his words shake me to my core.

I cup his face with my hands and stare into his eyes. The emotions staring back at me are all over the map—doubt, uncertainty, love, and insecurity that I've never known Cole to have. A smile curves up my lips as I drop my gaze to his mouth.

I see a corner of his lip quirk, and I lean into him. I take a deep breath and inch my body closer to his. He cups my face with both hands, and I feel him dry any remaining wetness on my cheeks with his thumbs.

When I'm hovering over his mouth, I feel him let out a shaky breath.

"I love you, too," I say softly against his lips right before I touch mine to his.

Every nerve ending in my body fires to life at the contact and I feel him groan against me. I move my hand from his face to the back of his head and lace my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer.

I feel him snake his arm around my back and pull my body flush against him. The warmth of him permeates every ounce of me, and I let myself surrender to the moment.

Cole pulls back and I let out a small protest. I feel a smile form on his mouth before he presses his lips firmly against mine. One of his hands slides up my face and the touch makes my heart skip. Every touch makes me feel loved and cherished. He softly runs his hand over my head and cups the back of my neck. I feel the corner of my lip lift as he continues to slow the pace.

The tenderness coming from him leaves me lightheaded.

He leans his forehead against mine, and we both work to slow our breathing. I close my eyes and bask in the moment.

I still can't fully grasp what the man sitting across from me was willing to do to be with me. I hear a click, and Cole pulls away. When I open my eyes, I see a glow from the kitchen shining in the hallway.

I bring my eyes back to Cole and find him watching me. Heat creeps up my face as I suddenly feel shy. I have always loved and hated how he seems to be able to see into every nook and cranny of my being.

"Looks like we have the power back." I bite my bottom lip .

"It would appear so," he says without taking his eyes off me. His lopsided grin leaves my heart racing.

He moves his hand through my hair again, and I lean into his touch. My lips spread into a wide grin, and a giggle escapes me.

"What was that for?" Cole presses his lips gently to mine, before pulling back and gently kissing my forehead. His hand pushes my hair behind my ear.

I feel my body flush and my stomach swoop as I look into the eyes of the man I've loved for so long. So long, I can't imagine not loving him. I let out a breath, press my lips together, and gently shake my head back and forth.

"Bug," he chuckles. "You're killing me. What is going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

"I'm just happy." I let out a sigh and tilt my head as I let my feelings for him shine in my eyes. "I forgot how it feels to be happy."

His eyes soften, and I feel my insides turn to goo, like chocolate that's been sitting in a warm car on the dash for an entire day.

"I hope I can make you feel this way for the rest of your life." My eyebrows shoot up past my hairline, and he throws back his head and laughs at the shock evident on my face. He cups my face with his hand and gently shuts my jaw before kissing me. "Don't worry. I'm not asking you to marry me…yet."

He winks at me right before he gets off the couch and heads to the kitchen.

"Are you hungry?" He says as if he didn't just completely rock my world.

I shake my head up and down, take a deep breath, and laugh. With this man, my life will never be boring.

He may not have asked me to marry him—yet—but there is no way I will be saying no when he does.