16. Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Cole

Noelle and I are cloaked in a soft glow, and the room dances to life from the subtle movements on the walls as the fire and candles flicker. The light from the fireplace highlights Noelle's features, giving her the appearance of a young girl.

The power is still out, and the generator hasn't kicked in. Luckily, the worst of the storm has passed, and the world is a canvas of pure white with light flakes that continue to fall.

A perfect winter wonderland. Spent with the perfect woman.

We've fallen into an easy rhythm as we finish decorating the tree. I can feel a shift in Noelle, but the wall that was in place is still fully erected. I'm doing my best to respect it and her.

On the other hand, my mind is painting pictures of all future Christmases for years to come. Our second chance is so close I can taste it. Like hot chocolate, it's leaving a wake of warmth that's cascading throughout my body.

I watch Noelle hang the final ornament on the now fully decorated tree. She takes a step back to admire our handiwork while I focus on her.

"This tree is perfect!" The smile on her face is so bright that I can feel its warmth expanding my chest. "Don't you think?"

"It is," I agree without taking my eyes off her. Her gaze slams into mine, causing my stomach to flip. A tinge of color stains her cheeks before I adjust my eyes to focus on the tree.

"There's just one thing missing," I look at her and smile.

"The lights?" Her brows pull together as she tilts her head. "They'll work when we have power again."

"Not the lights." I shake my head, and my lips pull up at the corner. I look at the top of the tree, and her eyes follow mine.

"Ahh, the star." A sad smile that she quickly tries to hide crosses her lips. I quietly watch the multitude of emotions play over her face.

A tightness grips my chest as I remember our last Christmas together with her grandmother. I'm positive Noelle is recalling it, too, but for slightly different reasons.

I grab the star from the box of decorations and walk beside Noelle, hyper aware of the contact as I brush my shoulder with hers. I push the star out.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Her glassy eyes meet mine as she shakes her head back and forth.

"Gran thought you did it best." My heart tugs at her words, and I take a deep breath as I place the star on the top of the tree. I step back only to hear Noelle laughing at me.

I put my hands on my hips and give her my best glare. "What?"

Her laughter rings throughout the cabin, and she grabs her sides. A laugh bubbles out of me. Her lightness is infectious. A full grin spreads across my face.

She points at the tree and tries to speak. I follow her hand, but all I see is how flawless everything looks.

"The star…" she spits out through jagged breaths. "It's tilted to the right."

I look at the star and laugh with her. "So it is. I better get on that right away. We can't have a crooked star!"

I move the star too far to the left. "How about now?"

"Nope, still not straight." She giggles. "Now it's too far left."

"Now you're just being nit-picky." I frown, but move and fix it as close to the center as possible. "Now?"

I look over my shoulder to find Noelle watching me, not the star. I feel my breath hitch as she lifts her eyes and smiles. "Now."

I step back from the tree and move next to Noelle. I am inches from her. I am so aware of her body next to me that I am struggling to breathe normally. I feel her hand on my forearm, and I suck in a breath. I try to stay as still as possible, afraid that if I move, she'll realize she's touching me.

"I think we need some hot chocolate to celebrate." Her wide smile and sparkling hazel eyes steal my breath. All I can do is nod. "You sit down, and I'll get everything."

I chew on my bottom lip as I watch her walk into the kitchen, humming Let it Snow . When she's out of sight, I collapse on the couch and run my hands up and down my face.

I blow out a huge breath before slowly inhaling. I am not good at going slow.

"How does a one-legged man in a butt-kicking competition do it?" I mumble.

"Did you say something?" Noelle's face pops through the kitchen doorway, wearing a smile that obliterates the darkness directed at me.

"Just talking to myself," I say, letting my eyes roam her face.

"How many marshmallows do you want?" She turns back into the kitchen before yelling out. "Don't answer. I'll just bring the bag to you, and you can decide."

"Sounds good." I flop back on the couch and smack my hand over my face.

My thoughts are all over the place as I try to figure out how to get us back to where we were before the power went out, but I know I can't force it.

Follow her lead.

Mel's words run through my head, and I groan.

"You haven't been wrong yet, Mel." I run my hand through my hair and take a deep breath.

This could be a long night.

For the last hour, Noelle has been telling me stories about her volunteer work. She's a beauty specialist who volunteered at an assisted living home after her Gran died.

She went once a week to give haircuts, shaves, and sometimes even styles. I am beguiled by how her face lights up as she tells me the stories from her visits.

I will never look at an older person the same again, but I also pray that when I am their age, I am just as…um…lively.

"Wait," I hold my hand up to stop her while I try to grasp what she's telling me. "Are you saying that Stan was seeing both Gladys and Betty?"

"Yes!" Her laughter runs through me, causing the hair at the nape of my neck to stand up. "They got into a huge fight in front of us as I was giving Stan a shave."

She sips her drink, and my gaze follows her every movement. When she looks back at me, her eyes twinkle and I can't stop the laugh coming up my body.

"That little rascal watched with a smile on his face the entire time!" She shakes her head and chuckles. She turns to the fire, and her gaze grows distant. "Working there really helped me after Gran died."

I take a deep breath and think about how she had to go through all of that alone. My heart aches at how much I wanted to be there for her. How hurt I was that she wouldn't let me.

I knew that Noelle wasn't good at asking for help; she didn't like to be a burden on anyone. When we were together at school, I didn't give her a chance to push me away. But I couldn't do that while she was twenty-three hundred miles away and not taking my phone calls.

She looks back at me with a shine in her eyes and a soft, relaxed smile. I am dying to touch her face. As if having a mind of its own, I feel my hand lift. I stop it and then let out a breath.

Noelle knits her brows together and frowns. "Is everything okay?"

I bite my lip and look away, trying to quell the internal struggle between my mind and heart.

"Cole?" She rests her hand on my arm, and I look at it before deciding.

I put my hand over hers and slowly exhale.

"I hate that you had to go through everything alone when Gran got sick," I whisper. I feel her start dragging her hand away but I hold on to it and gently squeeze.

I wait for her to meet my gaze before I even think about what I want to say to her. The pained expression she turns to me has my heart drop into my stomach. I gently squeeze her hand again and take in a slow, deep breath.

Here goes nothing.