Chapter 22

22

A s they picked their way through the forest, Douglas grasped Caitlin’s hand and squeezed it again. It was obvious his nervousness was increasing with every step toward her parents’ cottage. Never before had a man faced her father after being with her as Douglas had. Oh, a few stolen kisses and touches, aye, but no man had been her lover and she was not sure how her parents would react.

Deceit or hiding the step they’d taken was not an issue— her mother already knew or would know very soon what had happened in the cave between her and Douglas. He stopped once more and pulled her close. They’d shared dozens of kisses since he found her at the cave and each one sent the same ripples through her.

“We will never reach home if ye keep stopping along the way, Douglas,” she scolded. Of course, she was just as anxious and willing to put up with his kisses.

“I don’t think I want to reach your home, Caitlin. Maybe we should go back to the cave?” He jokingly pulled her in the opposite direction.

“Why no’? ’Tis late and my parents will be asleep.”

He snorted in response. “Your parents will not sleep until you do on your own pallet. They will be waiting for you tonight.” That look of tension crossed his face once more. Facing Pol was a daunting task.

She lifted their clasped hands to her mouth and kissed his. “’Twill be fine,” she said again.

He mumbled some words as they started walking. “What did ye say?”

“I said that I would geld a man who came home with my daughter wearing a smile like the one I can’t keep from my face,” he said smiling that smile. “I would feel better if I could tell them we’re engaged but I can’t do that.”

“Douglas, dinna make offers ye canna honor. I understand what happened tonight and I ask ye for no more than ye hiv given me already.”

“And just what have I given you tonight except more to regret when I leave?” The smile left his face and sadness entered his eyes.

“Oh, nay, dinna think that way. Ye gave me yer love which I will keep with me always.”

“And when I leave? Who will care for you? Who will hold you? Who”—he looked deeply into her eyes as he asked—”who will love you?”

“I canna say or know what will happen after ye leave. I will make my way among the clan as their healer as my maither haes and her maither afore her. And, I hope in time to pass on my knowledge to my daughter that she may serve the clan as well.”

He paled at her words and she realized what she’d said. A daughter. She always hoped for a daughter to carry on her family’s gifts—her mother’s second sight, her healing touch. Her older sister, Jean, God rest her soul, had shown great promise as a seer before her death.

“Oh, God, Caitlin. I hadn’t even thought about that. You could be pregnant even now.” His face was gray now and not a pretty sight. He rubbed his hand across his brow and down his face. “When did you have your last period?”

“Period?”

“Monthly... courses. Your woman’s time.”

She wanted to laugh at him and his discomfort. But because he was so serious and concerned for her, she wouldn’t.

“Dinna worry, Douglas. I amna going to bear a daughter from our joining.”

“And how do you know that? Do you know some way to prevent it from happening? ”

“My maither has seen my first child being born, a girl with MacKendimen blue eyes and black hair. She said it will be my husband’s child born after I wed.” Her heart hurt with the thought of lying with someone else and making a child who would not be Douglas’s.

“And you trust your mother’s visions enough not to worry about being pregnant?”

“I hiv faith in her gift, Douglas. Now, are we going to my home or not?”

“Well, then, let’s get you home. The faster we get there, the faster I’ll find out if I’ll live to see the winter solstice.”

“Dinna worry. Da haes no’ killed anyone in a long time.”

From the pained look on his face, her words had not comforted him at all.

It was much more difficult for Caitlin to face the silence of this morning than it had been to face it last night. Douglas was wrong—her parents were not waiting for her. They were asleep in their bed and she hadn’t see them until just a few minutes ago.

“Did ye sleep well, lass?” her mother had asked as she pushed a platter of oatcakes closer to her on the table. Caitlin reached for one, feeling the heat enter her cheeks. She couldn’t look at either one of them. She stood and walked to the hearth to pour a cup of tea. It gave her a minute to gather her thoughts.

Sleep, did her mother ask? She had not a moment of it until the sun’s light crossed the barrier of dawn and flooded her room with its warmth. Then she had fallen asleep.

The dark hours of the night she’d spent tossing and turning and remembering and reliving every touch, every taste, every sensation that jolted her body and soul and joined them together in love. There was not a part of her that didn’t ache for more or from too much of the soul-searing passion they’d shared in the cave.

Her breasts tingled and swelled and that place at her core throbbed to be filled with him once more. Could there still be anything left to share with him? After they’d dozed a bit, they bathed together in the pool. Lathering the soft soap onto each other, touching and swirling it over the hard and soft places, had led to another coupling.

This time she laid back on the heated floor next to the water and he’d knelt between her legs, touching and rubbing her most sensitive area. Then without warning he placed his mouth and tongue where his fingers had been and she screamed with the pleasure of it. When she tried to move away from the intensity of it, he’d lifted her legs over his shoulders and done it again. Unable, nay, unwilling to stop him, she felt each stroke of his tongue against the now-sleek folds. Once his tongue even went in her and she stopped breathing because of the tremors it sent through her from her core to her heart.

Then, as the trembling began to subside, he placed his own hardness there and filled her once more. The sense of completeness and contentment was like nothing she’d ever felt and she could have kept him in her like that forever— joined physically and emotionally.

She tensed her leg muscles together and felt the aching wetness there even now. Her breaths were more labored, as well. At the clearing of someone’s throat, Caitlin took notice of her surroundings and wanted to crumble; she was standing in front of her mother and father filled with desire and love for a man not there.

“So, did ye sleep?” Her mother repeated her question.

Caitlin poured the tea into her mug and then faced her parents, her face and body flushed with heat and memories.

“Nay, Mam, I didna sleep much at all.” She sat on one of the benches and looked directly at them waiting for them to speak their minds.

“Was it yer choice, Caitlin? Did he force or hurt ye in any way?” Her father’s gruff words were somehow comforting to her.

“Nay, Da. ’Twas of my free will. He gave the chance to say no but in truth, I didna want to stop him.”

“Will he offer for ye?” Her father put his mug down and waited for an answer .

“Pol, I hiv told ye—” Her mother started to interrupt.

“Nay, Moira, I want to hear my daughter’s words on this and no’ yers.” He waved off her mother’s reply.

Caitlin looked at her father, surprised by his vehemence. He always accepted her mother’s wisdom and never questioned it. The insult to her visions was apparent on her mother’s face and in the way she crossed her arms against her chest and turned to face her.

“Da, he wanted to make an offer to me afore we... ah ...” At his brisk nod, she skipped over trying to name the act for him. “With his future so uncertain, I wouldna allow him to ask for anything more than what we already share.”

“And what is that?”

She stood straighter and responded as the adult and not the child any longer. “We love each other and have shared that love between us.”

“And ye dinna feel dishonored by what has passed between ye? Some in the clan would call it that.”

“Did ye feel dishonored by what ye shared wi’ Mam afore ye two were wed?”

“’Twasn’t the same, Caitlin.”

“Aye, ’twas.”

“Yer maither was a widow and I was a single mon. There was no one to gainsay either of us.”

“And did that make it right, then? Ye lived in her cottage and were lovers afore the whole of the clan. I hiv heard the stories of the passion between ye.”

“And when he leaves? What then?” He was not making this easy as he turned the subject of the questions back to her. They touched some of the sore spots in her own heart. She stuck out her chin and took a deep breath.

“I will go on wi’ my life.”

“And marry?”

“If someone will hiv me as wife, aye, I’ll marry.”

He lifted his mug and drank deeply before he said anything more. Wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, he stood and walked to her side of the table. He pulled her to her feet and tilted her head back to look directly at her. She felt the burning of tears in her eyes and in her throat.

“Only yer actions can bring dishonor to ye and I see none here. But try to protect yerself against being hurt and be ready for those who see this as sinful.”

He wrapped her in his powerful arms and held her tightly. Caitlin took comfort from his embrace and closed her eyes.

“I will geld him if he harms ye, Caitlin. Make sure he kens.”

She chuckled as her father repeated Douglas’s own words. “I will tell him.” She opened her eyes and looked into Douglas’s own as he stood just inside the door. “Or ye can tell him yerself since he is here.”

Her father released her slowly, kissing her on the forehead before letting go. They turned as one to face Douglas. And, as men do, the two of them stared hard and their gazes sized up the opponent before them.

“Ye are courageous or foolhardy to show yerself here on this morn.”

“I did not want Caitlin to face your anger alone. And, I thought you might want to speak to me.”

Her father nodded and snorted. “Aye, I would hiv words wi’ ye.”

The silence stretched on and on. She looked to her mother to intervene but her mother shook her head at her. No help there.

“I dinna approve of what haes happened between ye and my daughter, but she is a woman grown and I willna interfere,” he paused and looked at her first and then Douglas. “But, I willna hiv her disgraced or embarrassed afore her family and clan. Ye will leave her behind when ye return to yer own time and place. Make certain ye leave her dignity intact or ye may no’ make it back to yer home alive.”

“I understand, Pol,” Douglas answered.

“Good. Now, I must be on my way. Moira,” he held out his hand to her mother. “Walk wi’ me a bit of the way?”

Her mother hesitated for a moment and then gave him her hand and they walked quickly from the cottage. She and Douglas stood in the silence and stared at each other.