Chapter Nineteen

“Here, let me help you.” Avalon passed along a bottle of water, and a soft cloth. Jasper was on his knees, his face pale, staring blindly at the water by the side of the bushes where the slight smell of his stomach eruptions lingered in the air. Duncan and Merlin had concerns that Jasper’s missing eye could be used to track their movements, or that they and the troops might be faced with magical attacks when they finally found the persons who had tortured Jasper. But Avalon’s only focus was the man himself. Jasper had suffered a horrible shock and Avalon instinctively wanted to make things better.

Avalon didn’t blame Merlin. His friend had simply repeated things he’d learned at the Magical University. He wasn’t to know how closely the things he’d said Jasper had actually gone through. Neither Avalon nor Jasper had shared the true extent of the atrocities that took place while he’d been with his captors. In Avalon’s head, his friends didn’t need that information to do the right thing, which was to see the persons responsible were either killed or put behind bars.

“Is there anything more I can do?” he asked after Jasper took some water and wiped his face.

“I’m mortified you’re seeing me in this state.” Jasper tried to get up, but he stumbled halfway. Avalon grabbed his arm and helped support his weight as he stood. “What did they do to me?” Jasper whispered as if afraid someone else might hear. “Do they have the use of my magic now? Have I put us all in danger because of a ridiculous need for revenge?”

“In this case, revenge is not ridiculous. The people who did this deserve to be held accountable. Even discounting the World Council, what was done to you was criminal in any society. Besides, you and I both need to know you and Queen Fiona will be safe going forward.”

Jasper nodded, although his skin was still pale. “I can’t help thinking of my mother’s message. One would almost believe it was meant for me – Do I really want to hear the answers I’m seeking, when I crumble hearing words from an academic?”

“I think you already know you’re doing the right thing. But to address your concerns. Surely if someone was using your magic, you’d feel it, or feel a lack in some way. Does your magic feel any less at all? Is that something you’ve experienced since you were returned to the castle?”

“I couldn’t feel it then.” Jasper sagged against his arm. “They used crystals when they returned me. I remember how foreign the blast of magic felt against my skin. My eye was gone. The pain was excruciating. Blood was pouring down my face. My clothes were rags, my body stunk of sweat and the discharge from those who used me, and all I could hear in my head was those same men chanting that they would kill the Queen if I spoke against them. In that moment, all I wanted was a bath. I truly believed I would never feel clean again.”

Wrapping his arm around Jasper’s waist, Avalon glanced at the stream. It looked clean. “We could bathe here if you wanted to. The water will likely be chilly, but…”

“No. No.” Jasper managed a chuckle, although Avalon could tell it was an effort. “You misunderstand me. I’m fairly certain I still can’t swim, despite my excursion in the sea. What I was trying to explain, badly I might add, is that I didn’t believe I would ever feel as violated as I did in that moment after my eye was gone and I was dumped in the castle courtyard in my rags.

“But now, hearing Merlin explain how people used to think. It was like the pieces of a puzzle all fell into place, even if the picture those pieces made doesn’t make sense to me. How did those people know who I was? Why did they attack my magic and yet let me live? I was never a threat to them. I didn’t even know they existed until they ensured I could never forget them. Why, Avalon? Why did this happen?”

“I wish I knew, my consort, I really do.” Even if Jasper didn’t need a hug, Avalon did, and he let his other arm join his first, holding Jasper close. After a long moment, Jasper relaxed against his chest. “The important thing is your magic now,” Avalon continued quietly. “Does it feel incomplete, different, impacted in any way than how it might have manifested before?”

Jasper shook his head. “It’s so strange to hear Merlin talk about magic and the people at the Magical University as though they are an authority. If they had only asked the people who had magic, then they would know for people like me, my magic isn’t located in a part of me. It’s not a physical thing.”

“How do you mean? What does it feel like in you?” Avalon was genuinely intrigued. He could say, in all honesty, that for all the people he’d met throughout his life, he’d never met anyone like Jasper.

Jasper looked up at him. “I’m not sure I can explain it exactly, but as I look at you, my missing eye can still see the affection in your eyes. When I jumped over the railing of your ship, my magic ensured I could swim – I was breathing underwater and communing with creatures that don’t speak the way you and I do. We understood each other because of my magic.”

“I’m jealous of your magic’s ability to do that.” Avalon smiled to show he didn’t mean anything negative by it. “It still blows my mind you can do that.”

“Mine too, to be honest. And yet, by the same token, when Duncan gave me his stiffly worded apology, my magic understood he didn’t do it for me, and before you get concerned, that’s not a bad thing. Duncan did what he did because of his loyalty and strong feelings of friendship for you, along with his desire to be with his husband, and my magic applauded anyway. It recognized that Duncan was a man of sound principles and clearly approved. Weren’t you the one who told me that my magic is me? I didn’t understand it before, but I really feel that I do now.”

“That’s a good thing, though, isn’t it? I don’t mean all the things that happened to you when you were taken, but you told me that you are the one still standing. They didn’t kill you. Maybe they didn’t dare because you are a prince of Lowenthorp. I won’t pretend I understand the minds of lunatics. But you are here. In my arms, standing in the shadow of the caves where you were held, and apart from a minor stomach upset – it was probably the blueberries – you are still standing strong.”

“It was not the blueberries, or the apples,” Jasper warned. “I won’t have you casting aspersions on the people who prepare our food. I don’t need my magic to know that would be a disaster. It’s just, those men,” Jasper looked out over the small lake, “I’m almost certain they didn’t have magic, and that’s what I don’t understand. One of the first things they did, the first things I noticed once I regained consciousness, was that my magic was gone.”

“Merlin mentioned a few days ago that magic can be suppressed by magical crystals, and you said the captors were using them.”

Jasper nodded. “That makes sense, although they kept feeding me this brew, tipping it down my throat, so I had no choice but to swallow it. It tasted of some kind of herbs – ones that would burn my throat as it went down. I never knew if that was impacting my magic either. But, Avalon, if they were suppressing my magic, then why were they doing the things Merlin claims would strip me of my magic? Wouldn’t my magic have to be present for them to siphon it from me through their depraved acts?”

“I wish I knew.” Gods, Avalon wished with all that he was that he could bring some comfort to his troubled husband. “But in light of this new information, we have to consider that your brother might have played a part in your capture, or at the very least, the acts were perpetrated by people he was close to.”

“None of the men who tortured me were present at the luncheon. I know that much. If Luigi was simply holding a grudge because the Queen told him I wasn’t possessed when he swore black and blue I was, that’s a long time to wait to get his revenge.”

Jasper turned slightly, looking across the countryside at the mountain that loomed in the distance. “They’re not there right now. My magic is telling me the caves are empty. I need to get there. I need for my magic to see what I can’t, and for that I need to be in that cave.”

“It’s at least another half-day’s ride. Less if we push the horses, but we wouldn’t be there before dark.”

But Jasper was shaking his head. “No. It has to be now, before they get there. My magic is telling me… there’s something about my eye… do you trust me?”

“Of course, but Jasper there is no way to get there before nightfall.”

“My magic seems to think there is.” Jasper grinned, and in that moment, he was as carefree as Avalon imagined his husband might have been before life had shown him how cruel some people can be. “Close your eyes and hold on tight.”

“I…” but it was as if Avalon’s body was hit with a sudden gust of wind. His eyes closed instinctively as his hair blew around his face. He was suspended, there was no ground beneath his feet, until just as suddenly, there was. He stumbled, his eyes flying open, only to be greeted by roughhewn rock and a bloodied sacrifice slab in the middle of a cave.

“Welcome to my nightmare.” Jasper inhaled sharply as his magic surged, and he stepped out of Avalon’s arms. Avalon could see it sparking like a fireworks show from his husband’s fingers. Bright light filled the dim space. “I can’t believe that worked, but it clearly did. Duncan is going to be positively furious with me. I should send you back, before we do anything else. I shouldn’t have been selfish enough to want you with me in the first place. You are the heir to a country, while I am a nobody. Your safety is paramount.”

“Your magic clearly wanted me here, or I wouldn’t have traveled with you. As your husband my place is by your side, and I would be horrified to think of you visiting this chamber of horrors without me.” Avalon took a few deep breaths to orientate himself, tearing his eyes away from the slab. “What are we looking for? What is your magic telling you?”

“We’re looking for my missing eye.”